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#181 of 255 Old 03-13-2009, 11:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by budwana birth View Post
DH is philosophically into a homebirth... but doesn't want to spend the $1000 or so that will be left after insurance... we had a great in-hospital birth with midwife, and he is saying "it was fine last time, why should be pay $1000 when things are so tight?"

He sees this as a nice extra, not something vital to my mama soul.

Anyone dealt with this? Thoughts?

Carolyn
We're dealing with this right now. Our last homebirth was 100% covered by insurance and DH was very on board - he has been an outspoken advocate of homebirth ever since!

But now we have different insurance and we will probably pay the whole $3,000 out of pocket.

For me, that's just the price we have to pay, and it's so worth it! But as much as DH believes in homebirth, he also feels the weight of the financial issue probably more than I do. I'm a sahm and he works very hard to provide for us, and wonders if it's the wisest thing financially for us.

What's kept him from just saying, "we need to do hospital this time" is me reminding him of how little autonomy we're allowed in the hospital, how many regulations and procedures we HAVE to follow there that we wouldn't want to, how much more likely c-section or other interventions would be, and especially how our other children would be separated from us. Those are all big problems for him, too.

Anyway, we haven't reached a decision yet, but I just keep hammering home to him the down-sides of hospital and the great benefits of home. You can't put a price tag on that!

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#182 of 255 Old 03-13-2009, 02:29 PM
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Please correct me if I am wrong, but my midwife told me that pre-e RARELY happens in a second pregnancy. It is more of a first pregnancy thing. Is that right??

I have no idea, but my last pregnancy was my third and I didn't have bp or protein issues with my first two.
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#183 of 255 Old 03-13-2009, 02:33 PM
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For the women struggling with the cost of homebirth, check your insurance plan to see how much a hospital birth would cost in the event of a c-section or anything beyond a regular vaginal delivery. Our insurance covers a flat dollar amount towards maternity- a homebirth is covered 100% under this dollar limit but this dollar amount would only cover probably half of regular hospital birth. Also, if maternity isn't covered 100%, your copay on a c-section or NICU stay or what have you could far exceed $1,000. And the best way to avoid a c-sect is to stay out of the hospital from the get-go...
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#184 of 255 Old 03-13-2009, 05:01 PM
 
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I have no idea, but my last pregnancy was my third and I didn't have bp or protein issues with my first two.
it is true that pre-e or pregnancy induced hypertension is more common in the first pregnancy than later ones.

Carolyn

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#185 of 255 Old 03-13-2009, 05:02 PM
 
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For the women struggling with the cost of homebirth, check your insurance plan to see how much a hospital birth would cost in the event of a c-section or anything beyond a regular vaginal delivery. Our insurance covers a flat dollar amount towards maternity- a homebirth is covered 100% under this dollar limit but this dollar amount would only cover probably half of regular hospital birth. Also, if maternity isn't covered 100%, your copay on a c-section or NICU stay or what have you could far exceed $1,000. And the best way to avoid a c-sect is to stay out of the hospital from the get-go...
THANKS!! This is a great lead!

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#186 of 255 Old 03-13-2009, 05:10 PM
 
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You know what, I did run up against that with my dh. We've had a MW attended hospital birth and a UC. He felt they were fine, especially the UC, & so told me that he supported my desire to have a MW attend my homebirth this time (because I've hemorrhaged the last 2 births & I'm just a little to afraid to go through that by myself again), BUT, he gave me a limit as to how much he would be willing to pay. In other words, if I couldn't figure out a way for our insurance to pay for all or part of a homebirth MW, then he wasn't willing to fork out out of pocket money to cover the whole thing, esp when our insurance covers a hosp birth at 90%.

I was really bummed out. I thought there was no way I'd figure out how to keep out out of pocket cost less then he wanted to spend, for a homebirth MW. I started debating which I'd rather try- getting to the hosp with alllll our kids & hoping I didn't deliver on the side of the freeway, or a UC & deal with the hemmorhage again......In the end, after much research, I DID manage to find a homebirth MW in network with our insurance co & our cost will be just $600 out of pocket. Major relief for me.

Anyway. I totally understand where you're coming from budwana birth. It's a hard place to be. I'm a sahm, my DH is a wonderful provider & I trust him completely to make wise financial decisions for our family. I personally would have eventually backed down & accepted his decision. And been pretty sad for awhile. But what a sucky decision I would have had to make! I've never been a fan of delivering on the side of the freeway!

I really, really, really hope you guys can come to an agreement & you will be able to look forward to your birth with peace. :
Thanks for your understanding and kind words!
If you'll indulge me for a moment, I need to vent for a brief moment. I feel totally misunderstood by dh with this issue. Mind you, finances ARE tight in our home right now. We have some debt and we scrape by every month, even with both of us working. DH owns his own business and constantly worries about supporting us...I get it.

BUT, I feel like he doesn't GET how much this means to me... the ultimate expression of all (well, okay much) I believe to be sacred about being a woman, and not having this transformative experience in a medical, very much male dominated, environment. I am a doula in training, and dream of making it my life, perhaps even midwifery... and he can't support me in coming up with $800 to make this happen? I get that things are tight, but this is worth it to me. I have gotten some great leads here... and I will follow them all.

Thanks, sisters for all of your support!

Carolyn

Mom to Liam 9/06, spirit baby 3/09, and identical twins Mateo and Sebastian 10/11namaste.gif

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#187 of 255 Old 03-13-2009, 07:35 PM
 
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I guess I should have asked, is pain your concern with a full-term baby? Or is it the possibility of getting stuck or something else?
Sorry I posted and disappeared, it was a rough day or two!

I have many fears. The pain isn't so much a concern because I know it will hurt but that I will be okay. I think I get nervous about shoulder dystosia (sp?) and bigger babies being harder to push, etc. More a fear of the unknown. Plus, I still feel a little uneasy about potential transport or problems.
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#188 of 255 Old 03-13-2009, 07:36 PM
 
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Has your mw recommended anything for preventing Pre E? My mw has a whole action plan and I'd be happy to share her ideas with you.


I haven't met with my MW yet. I've done a lot of research on my own of ways to be healthier and not have PreE again. I would love some more ideas though if you want to share! Thanks!
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#189 of 255 Old 03-15-2009, 06:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by budwana birth View Post
DH is philosophically into a homebirth... but doesn't want to spend the $1000 or so that will be left after insurance... we had a great in-hospital birth with midwife, and he is saying "it was fine last time, why should be pay $1000 when things are so tight?"

He sees this as a nice extra, not something vital to my mama soul.

Anyone dealt with this? Thoughts?

Carolyn
I have found a lot of midwives who are willing to barter for some of the expense. i am not sure if this is an option but maybe you could try? doing what you as the birthing mama need to do is the most important but its also needful to not be stressed as a family.
good luck!
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#190 of 255 Old 03-15-2009, 07:42 PM
 
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Please correct me if I am wrong, but my midwife told me that pre-e RARELY happens in a second pregnancy. It is more of a first pregnancy thing. Is that right??
It tends to happen with one PG and then not the 2nd or 3rd BUT I've had it with both of mine so there are no guarantees.

PJs - I've talked with my MW and done research on Pre-E. I'd definitely talk to your MW but everything I'm sharing can be found in Dr. Sears' Pregnancy Book, How to Have a Baby Naturally and countless websites if you search Pre-E.

Nutrition is really the key factor. High protein is very important. Avoid processed foods as much as possible. For me, I think we my last PG I was over consuming quick, crap food because I was working and caring for a toddler and gave myself permission to do what was easy. Not smart in hindsight.

Calcium & Magnesium have been found to reduce Pre-E, especially when taken early in PG. I have m/s and can't keep any vitamins down right now so I'll have to wait a bit to start this but I plan on it. Zinc is also recommended and you can find a supplement with all three pretty easily. I recommend Solgar brand but I'm sure there are others.

Foods that are natural "diuretics" can help, such as melons and teas. Lots of fresh fruits and veggies and make sure you're getting enough water/liquids everyday. I think that's all my MW recommended for right now but I'll share as my pg progresses, if she has new suggestions. I'm really hoping to avoid another induction and premature baby due to Pre-E this time and so far all of my MW's recommendations have been in line with what I've read myself and sound very safe to me, but of course only do what's comfortable for you and your MW. I hope your PG goes well and that you don't have to deal with Pre-E.

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#191 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 08:32 AM
 
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I have done a horrible job keeping up with this thread since I first posted here...you ladies are posting machines Yesterday Dh and I had a consult with a hb mw. The idea was to see if Dh was comfortable with it. He was mostly outside playing with the kids the whole time, so I didn't know how he was going to feel afterward, but he just said, "you like her, right?". I told him I did, and then I asked him, "so where are you with this?" He just matter of factly said, "well, we are doing it, right?" So, that is that. I knew he would be easy to convince. It is so nice to know that I won't have to plan to be out of the house for a couple days and worry about who will be taking care of my youngest who has a bunch of food allergies. I like the idea of just having the baby and then chillin' at my house where I am comfortable. Oh, it eases my mind so much. I really liked my mw and feel really comfortable with her. It is a whole new experience for me after 2 hospital births.

I am 10wks and she tried to find the hb. I knew it was a crap shoot and she wasn't able to. We did here the baby swish by at one point My uterus is the right size, so everything seems right on track :

Glad to be here :

Beth

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#192 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 11:10 AM
 
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Regarding pre-e, I read something once about low vitamin D possibly being related to pre-e. I have no idea if this is true, but it never hurts to add vitamin D, especially if you live in the northern states. Since they don't know what truly causes pre-e, but they do know that the majority of people ARE deficient in vitamin D, this is an interesting idea.
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#193 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 11:24 AM
 
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I am 10wks and she tried to find the hb. I knew it was a crap shoot and she wasn't able to. We did here the baby swish by at one point My uterus is the right size, so everything seems right on track :
It looks like we are due on the same day. I just wanted to say that my mw tried to hear the heartbeat last week when I was 9w2d and we couldn't hear it either. We could hear a lot of blood flow, and activity, but no heartbeat yet. I knew it was early, but I was hoping we'd hear it. We will try again closer to 12 weeks. Anyway, I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I've read of people hearing it already as early as 8 weeks, so I felt a little weird not hearing it. But, it's no big deal. Everything else was right on track (not to mention I have horrible all day nausea as a constant reminder that there's definitely a baby growing in there). I hope we both hear it soon. I'm glad your DH is supportive of your hb and that you have found a mw that you like.

Brin, wife to my best friend , mother of three . and now homeschooling!!!
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#194 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 11:27 AM
 
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It looks like we are due on the same day. I just wanted to say that my mw tried to hear the heartbeat last week when I was 9w2d and we couldn't hear it either.
I saw my midwife last week at 9w 1d and totally heard it! I absolutely wasn't expecting to. I didn't hear it with DS until 12 weeks. It was a bit of a surprise!

brinalicious- who is your midwife in SLC?
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#195 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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I saw my midwife last week at 9w 1d and totally heard it! I absolutely wasn't expecting to. I didn't hear it with DS until 12 weeks. It was a bit of a surprise!

brinalicious- who is your midwife in SLC?
Congrats on hearing the HB. I'm totally jealous. My midwife is Chris ******. Who do you see?

Brin, wife to my best friend , mother of three . and now homeschooling!!!
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#196 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 01:40 PM
 
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Congrats on hearing the HB. I'm totally jealous. My midwife is Chris ******. Who do you see?
Melissa Mayo!

Chris was the one who found the HB, though.

I've met with them twice and think they are both so awesome!

We're totally due the same week, lady! I'm on the 15th. Crazy.
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#197 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 01:42 PM
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Regarding pre-e, I read something once about low vitamin D possibly being related to pre-e. I have no idea if this is true, but it never hurts to add vitamin D, especially if you live in the northern states. Since they don't know what truly causes pre-e, but they do know that the majority of people ARE deficient in vitamin D, this is an interesting idea.
Thanks for this info. I started taking vit D supplements a few months ago- hopefully this will help.
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#198 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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Melissa Mayo!

Chris was the one who found the HB, though.

I've met with them twice and think they are both so awesome!

We're totally due the same week, lady! I'm on the 15th. Crazy.
That's awesome. I met Melissa at my first visit last week and she seems really nice (she wasn't with Chris during our last pregnancy). Are you in SLC, and did you go to her office downtown? Maybe we'll run into each other in her office sometime, wouldn't that be funny? There is someone else in Logan who is using Chris, too. This really is "Small Lake City."

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#199 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 02:36 PM
 
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Melissa Mayo!

Chris was the one who found the HB, though.

I've met with them twice and think they are both so awesome!

We're totally due the same week, lady! I'm on the 15th. Crazy.
Chris is my MW too. And she found my Bean's heartbeat yesterday!
We should totally do an Oct09 DDC Utah meet-up.

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#200 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 02:38 PM
 
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LOL Brin, we posted at the same time.

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#201 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 03:52 PM
 
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I have not been keeping up on this. I hope to start though. Now that I'm feeling human again I should be.

I had my first appt today. She had a student ask me all the questions. She said it's early am I planning a h/b. I said um YES. You will not get me in the hospital unless it's dire. M/W was laughing. I was a transport last pregnancy and it was HELL. I will not not not go to the hospital ever again unless it's the matter of life or death.

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#202 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 03:53 PM
 
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I'm in Lehi, but I've been going downtown to their office.

Small world, indeed.
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#203 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 04:39 PM
 
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You will not get me in the hospital unless it's dire. M/W was laughing. I was a transport last pregnancy and it was HELL. I will not not not go to the hospital ever again unless it's the matter of life or death.
I feel the same way about going to the hospital... there had better be a GOOD reason for me to be there. I think it's important to gauge your MW's reaction to this. When we were interviewing midwives, I made a point of saying how one of my biggest concerns is risking out and I kind of joked that after all the hospital births I've seen as a doula, I don't want to set foot in a maternity ward unless I'm at death's door. I remember one midwife was very reassuring and another midwife kind of rolled her eyes at me and said something like "well sometimes it is necessary, so you need to keep an open mind about it." It almost felt like she was implying that I was so militantly anti-hospital that I might recklessly (or selfishly) refuse to go in spite of a darn good reason.

Her attitude was a contributing factor in our final decision of which MW to choose (even though I still really like that MW a lot and wouldn't hesitate to consider her for a future birth -- she's amazing). It took us 3 weeks to choose our midwife. There are some fantastic ones here, and if I could, I'd hire them all. It was a really hard decision for me.

I finally gathered up the courage to make my rejection phone calls today to the MWs we didn't choose. It's brutal. I hate it. I cried. No pregnant woman should have to go through that much stress on one lunch break. LOL

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#204 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 04:43 PM
 
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I finally gathered up the courage to make my rejection phone calls today to the MWs we didn't choose. It's brutal. I hate it. I cried. No pregnant woman should have to go through that much stress on one lunch break. LOL
That has to be tough. I was contemplating switching M/W because of my last birth experience. I was thinking if everything was different maybe I would feel better. I don't think I could ever do that to her though. I'm glad I decided to stay with her though. I was reassured today. I am curious about what she does when I tell her if I need to go to the hospital because there is more than one Mama in labor that I am staying at home and if she comes she comes if not, I'm on my own.

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#205 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 04:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She said it's early am I planning a h/b. I said um YES. You will not get me in the hospital unless it's dire. M/W was laughing. I was a transport last pregnancy and it was HELL. I will not not not go to the hospital ever again unless it's the matter of life or death.
Ok you ladies crack me up! It reminded me of a episode of Dharma and Greg that was on yesterday. I dont know if any of you know about that show but if you do you know that Dharma and her mom are very "hippy" like. Anyways, the show was about a friend of Dharma's went into labor at Dharma and Gregs house and everyone keeps saying arent you going to the hospital and Dharma and her mom are both "why she isnt sick" . . . I thought it very cool to see on tv!
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#206 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 04:45 PM
 
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Ok you ladies crack me up! It reminded me of a episode of Dharma and Greg that was on yesterday. I dont know if any of you know about that show but if you do you know that Dharma and her mom are very "hippy" like. Anyways, the show was about a friend of Dharma's went into labor at Dharma and Gregs house and everyone keeps saying arent you going to the hospital and Dharma and her mom are both "why she isnt sick" . . . I thought it very cool to see on tv!

I missed that one! Totally cool!

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#207 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 04:57 PM
 
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Melissa Mayo!

We're totally due the same week, lady! I'm on the 15th. Crazy.
Melissa's my midwife too! I'm up in Logan. And add me to the same due-week - I'm on the 12th(ish)!

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We should totally do an Oct09 DDC Utah meet-up.
Yes, definitely. Perhaps we should make our own little Utah chat thread for this DDC?

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#208 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 10:58 PM
 
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I hope we don't all have our babies the same day!
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#209 of 255 Old 03-18-2009, 11:26 PM
 
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I hope we don't all have our babies the same day!
That's what I was thinking!

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#210 of 255 Old 03-19-2009, 03:28 PM
 
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does anyone know how insurance works if you need to transfer? would ins cover the hbmw and the hospital? scary thought... but good to know!

Mom to Liam 9/06, spirit baby 3/09, and identical twins Mateo and Sebastian 10/11namaste.gif

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