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#241 of 255 Old 04-13-2009, 07:36 PM
 
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Hi Ladies, I wanted to share this news: I told my parents yesterday that we are planning a homebirth. I'd been putting off telling them because I was afraid they'd be terribly opposed of the idea (just remembering how things went a few years ago when I first moved to the city-- they were positive I'd be mugged, if not murdered, and continued to be anxious about me for an entire YEAR until I moved again-- I suspected there would be similar fear around the thought of me giving birth at home).

They are totally fine with it. They did not even bat an eye. It was as if I had set them up for a huge announcement, only to tell them what I'd had for lunch! I couldn't quite believe it, and asked, "So, really, you're not worried? No concerns? The midwife said you could call her with questions." My dad says "Well, if this is what she does for a living, I think you will be fine." My mom said it sounded like a good idea and she wished she'd known you could do it that way back when she was pregnant!

Now on to the IL's.
That's awesome that your parents were so cool with it! I was trying to avoid telling mine but it came out and boy do they think i'm crazy. It was really intense, my dad was really disappointed and my mom went into denial.

i was really prepared though with all my info about why its safer to homebirth etc. they agreed to somethings, especially the over zealous medical practices, but they are still worried. since then they often try to pretend like im still going to doctor even though i told them i go to a midwife - they say things like "so when's your next DOCTORS appointment". lol.

anyway, what can i do. they have been against almost everything i have ever wanted to do in my life - luckily they did like my choice in husband but that was about it. so ive been used to their dissent.

as for the in-laws, haven't even told them we're having a baby yet i just don't think they will be terribly pleased as mil def doesnt like me in the first place. but i think she will like the homebirth idea, as she is so against going to doctors.

28 - DD 11/3/09 (planned homebirth)
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#242 of 255 Old 04-14-2009, 01:18 PM
 
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That's too bad for your parents, HadhratKhadija. Just in case they are Internet researchers, like my parents, I skimmed the first 15 pages of google hits for "homebirth" and only found 1 site arguing against it (I anticipated them going straight to the computer, so I checked to see what the'yd find). I hope they come around, and even if they don't, I hope you have a wonderful, beautiful pregnancy and birth anyway.

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#243 of 255 Old 04-14-2009, 02:32 PM
 
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my #1 comeback for anyone who tries to talk me out of a homebirth is to say, "okay, I respect your opinion and I've done my research. If you can show me 2 valid, scientific, evidence-based studies proving that homebirth is a bad idea for me, I'll take it into consideration." they go away thinking they can change your mind, but they WON'T find any real evidence against the safety of homebirth because there is none. they end up educating themselves! *evil laughter*

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#244 of 255 Old 04-14-2009, 02:34 PM
 
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my #1 comeback for anyone who tries to talk me out of a homebirth is to say, "okay, I respect your opinion and I've done my research. If you can show me 2 valid, scientific, evidence-based studies proving that homebirth is a bad idea for me, I'll take it into consideration." they go away thinking they can change your mind, but they WON'T find any real evidence against the safety of homebirth because there is none. they end up educating themselves! *evil laughter*
Ooh, that's great, Liz! It's respectful, non-dismissive, and a good way to get them doing their research. Awesome.

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#245 of 255 Old 04-14-2009, 08:22 PM
 
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That's too bad for your parents, HadhratKhadija. Just in case they are Internet researchers, like my parents, I skimmed the first 15 pages of google hits for "homebirth" and only found 1 site arguing against it (I anticipated them going straight to the computer, so I checked to see what the'yd find). I hope they come around, and even if they don't, I hope you have a wonderful, beautiful pregnancy and birth anyway.
good thing you said that, i was just wondering today what they would find if they did a search for homebirth!

well it sounds like they are coming around slowly. i went for my second mw appt today and we heard the heartbeat and i was able to call my parents and tell them everything is ok, and they asked a couple questions but sounded happy and excited. so hopefully they wont flip out on me again!

argh, what id give to have parents that didnt challenge every action of mine.

AuntieLiz - love it!

28 - DD 11/3/09 (planned homebirth)
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#246 of 255 Old 04-14-2009, 10:58 PM
 
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I'm really excited because I'd started to give up hope that I'd be having a home birth due to midwives being gone for the MANA conference, and others being booked, but one I really like finally got back to me and is available. We had a great phone interview and we're meeting on Friday. I'm thrilled!

Mama to P. born at home 10/09, and W. born in the hospital 2/13

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#247 of 255 Old 04-14-2009, 11:05 PM
 
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Oh yay Cileag! That is exciting. I know that MANA conference really screwed up a lot of homebirthing October mamas. I feel fortunate that I'm due early in the month because both my midwife and her back-up are presenters.

HadhratKhadija-Sorry to hear your parents are so concerned. At least after you have your first wonderful homebirth they will be more on board if you have more children.

Stephanie-33 lucky mama of 5 precious ones: DD-12, DS-9 , DS-6 , and DD-3 and Bridget Alannah  SHE'S ONE NOW! loving wife to DH-38
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#248 of 255 Old 04-15-2009, 10:31 AM
 
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Liz - That's an excellent idea! I love it!!!

Cileag - Great news! It's so reassuring to know you'll have the MW you want at your birth.

So, do any of you ladies know where in your home your giving birth? This is our first homebirth and we have an awesome three season porch that has windows into our kitchen and out to our "yard/driveway". So I'm hoping to deliver this little one there. BUT there's some work that needs to be done. It's our toy catch all room and it needs some major decluttering. It also needs curtains for the five windows in it as there are none right now and it looks over our driveway (which we share with three neighbors, we live in a house that's been made into apartments) so I'd like some privacy.

So, I'm starting to think about that and hoping that I'll get to preparing it sometime soon, though I'm always finding other things to do right now. Anyone else?

One by one the days are slipping up behind you ~ One by one the sweetest days of life go by :
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#249 of 255 Old 04-15-2009, 10:56 AM
 
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We just got a new custom made maple bed and I'd love it if the baby was born there--especially as we live in an apartment and I'd like to be able to take the birthplace with me, if that makes sense.

Mama to P. born at home 10/09, and W. born in the hospital 2/13

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#250 of 255 Old 04-15-2009, 01:17 PM
 
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When I birth I have to pull on something, hard, especially when pushing the baby out. When I think about birthing in our house, I have to analyze what things I could pull with all the strength of a laboring woman on. Last time it was the ledge of our bathroom counter with my arm in the sink (if that makes sense). It worked well so I think I'll probably birth there again, in our master bath.

Sometimes I am just boggled that I am *actually* going to have a baby again soon. Like, here I am discussing where I'm going to *push my baby out*. It hits me again & again. It's amazing.

North Idaho rural living treehugger.gif mama to: 22 yo DD, 15 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. stillheart.gif And someone new coming this Christmas! stillheart.gif

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#251 of 255 Old 04-15-2009, 02:11 PM
 
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We just got a new custom made maple bed and I'd love it if the baby was born there--especially as we live in an apartment and I'd like to be able to take the birthplace with me, if that makes sense.
Cileag-I completely undertand this! We had our first home birth in our old house, but still live in the same town so it will always have a special place in my heart. When we drive by I like to tell my son, "That is where you were born!". If the new owners ever tore it down I would be really sad. It is good that you will be able to take the bed with you wherever you go.

Leilamus-My dream place would be out on my second floor deck. It has an awesome view of the ocean and it would be so cool to give birth outdoors if it were during the day. Unfortunately, I can see into my neighbors backyard and while I could put something up to where they couldn't see me, they could still hear me and I don't want to scare anyone. I sound like a mama bear when I give birth grunting and such. I will most likely give birth in my bedroom where I can draw the shades and have it be dark. It is better for the baby to be born into a darker environment anyway.

Stephanie-33 lucky mama of 5 precious ones: DD-12, DS-9 , DS-6 , and DD-3 and Bridget Alannah  SHE'S ONE NOW! loving wife to DH-38
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#252 of 255 Old 04-15-2009, 08:49 PM
 
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I have my first appointment with my midwife a week from monday. My question is what did you do when your midwife asked if you were talking prenatals and folic acid? I was taking them before I got pregnant and the first few weeks but from week 4-1/2 til now I havent been able to stomach them. She already asked me twice in emails if I was taking my vitamins so I am worried she will chew me out if I tell her I havent been cause of morning sickness. What did you do? Do I lie and tell her I have? I dont in any way feel that my diet is un healthy. I have been eating tons of fruit as its the only thing that sounded good.
NEVER LIE TO YOUR MIDWIFE. About anything. That is such an important relationship and it has to do with the well being of you and your baby. Most midwives are understanding of in tolerances to certain things (food, vitamins etc.) in pregnancy. I really wouldn't worry about it just do your best and continue to have an open relationship with your midwife.

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#253 of 255 Old 04-16-2009, 03:52 PM
 
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We just got a new custom made maple bed and I'd love it if the baby was born there--especially as we live in an apartment and I'd like to be able to take the birthplace with me, if that makes sense.
We also have a special bed and I guess I'm hoping for there for the same reason. I had planned all along to finally (2nd time, ha!) birth in our own house but now it looks like we will be overseas again by the time this one comes! Luckily I know the place we're going is homebirth-friendly, but I do feel a little overwhelmed by the research I feel I need to do to pick a midwife, and in a foreign language, too! Yikes! It would have been a lot easier to do it here with my old midwives. But it will be a great place to live for a few years, so I'm not complaining TOO much.

Wife to the man I never expected, DS born at home '07, '08, baby girl born at home Oct '09!
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#254 of 255 Old 04-16-2009, 06:55 PM
 
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I think we'll be birthing in the bedroom, except if I want to be in the bath or shower. We windows all along the south side of our house, and glass doors. I think I'd feel too exposed anywhere else. I think I'll want to den up in the bedroom. Also, I want there to be space for my 2yo dd to do what she wants if she's awake.

That said, I'll do whatever feels right during the birth...maybe I'll be pacing all around the house and yard totally naked!
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#255 of 255 Old 04-18-2009, 03:51 PM
 
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hi, just joining this thread so i'll go back and read when i get a chance. i've real slow internet and outdated applications so it's hard to post and read threads.
this is my 3rd planned hb. my last two went very well. very peaceful. i delivered the last two in the bed my mother in law was born in ( my dh had the bed growing up and she gave us the bed just before #3 was conceived). not sure what'll happen this time. i do know that i'm a land lubber, and i like squatting or being on all fours when pushing.
i love hb because of the freedom during labor. i like to be by myself then. i love moving around indoors or out, baking, putsing around, eating, drinking, bathing, whatever my needs are. being outside when the water breaks is ideal
i love not being on my back when pushing. i love my children being there. i love that my dh feels that it's safer being at home and not rushed. i love my mw, so gentle and easy going, but very knowledgeable and experienced.
my kids love it!
i love how my inlaws were smart enough not to share their worries with me and when they first held their granddaughter(my first hb) at my bedside my fil said to my mil, "gee Brenda, we were both born at home and we turned out."

my oldest was on a field trip at a mock hospital a few years ago. i noticed he brought home trinkets that was labeled with an local women's ob/gyn clinic. i asked him if the subject of babies came up and he told me they were told that babies were born in hospitals and he spoke up and said they are born at home cause he had a brother and sister born at home and it was the best thing!

i try not to think to much about it so i don't have any expectations....but getting so excited writing about it....must log off.
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