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#1 of 3 Old 03-02-2009, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
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This is my first pregnancy.

I just found out last Friday, so my head is still reeling.

I have wanted this for over a year and am not aware of ever having been pregnant I have no experience to draw on.

I am terrified that I am going to m/c. I have no real reasons to guess that I should...I am healthy, do not smoke, do not drink (before this had an average of maybe two drinks per month), I am of proper weight, I don't have any chronic illnesses or syndromes...

I do have a history of lots of anxiety and I know this is my downfall and weakness and probably will be for the rest of my life. And I'm sure I'm likely to pass this along to my kid(s), too. The anxiety seems to get better for me when I get reassurance or have stuff to read that helps me understand everything that is going on.

I have been reading some of the Mayo Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, and of course all I can see are the scary things, like that 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. And that 1 out of 60 are ectopic. Blah blah know? Why can't I see that 80-85% are OK?

Maybe I should have just stuck my head in the sand and not tested until I was like 10 weeks late! lol. Naw, that wouldn't have been an answer either.

My few family members and friends I've shared my news with have high hopes and so do I, but is there pain associated with a miscarriage that I should watch out for? My midwife-friend said it feels like cramps that come with AF, or a little stronger. Anything else?

Thank you!!

Birthed a beautiful baby boy, Ethan, 11/11/09.
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#2 of 3 Old 03-02-2009, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Cellist View Post
My few family members and friends I've shared my news with have high hopes and so do I, but is there pain associated with a miscarriage that I should watch out for? My midwife-friend said it feels like cramps that come with AF, or a little stronger. Anything else?
Nothing anyone tells you will be able to truelly make you feel better. Its one of those things that resolve slowly with more time..
This isn't going to make you less nervous however.

In a traditional miscarriage, yes you'd feel cramping and/or bright red bleeding. However a lot of miscarriages don't start or end that way. I've had two myself and I never even knew. I carried all the way until a few days shy of my second trimester and at a routine first OB appointment they couldn't find a heartbeat. Ultrasound showed both times that the baby had died weeks before that and my body just refused to let go of the pregnancy. Even waiting didn't work, and I had to undergo a D&C twice. My blood tests still showed I was pregnant and even my beta's took weeks to start to drop. All my pregnancy symptoms were still there as well. It took a long time after my D&C for my body to get back to its non pregnant state.

So really, you might know and you might not. The one thing I've found that alleviated my fears in subsequent pregnancies is that I go for an early ultrasound. In my cases I've never heard the first heartbeat and then lost the baby, so it helps me to feel 100 times better to hear that heartbeat. Instead of worrying for months.

Maybe you could talk to your midwife or OB about that? I know many don't like unnessasary things, but I feel that if its lowering your quality of life and causes undo stress on mom... then it can only do good.

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#3 of 3 Old 03-02-2009, 03:49 PM
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When you hear the statistics on miscarriage/early pregnancy loss, it seems amazing that there are as many people in the world as there are, doesn't it? It's easy to find the grim and dire stats...there are lots of them! But in reality, most pregnancies are going to result in a healthy baby at the end of 9 months.

If you're not experiencing any spotting or bleeding, then take a deep breath and try to relax. The best thing you can do in these early weeks is get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, eat well, and take your prenatal vitamin. Just focus on doing those things. Some light exercise might help relieve stress, too.

Some cramping is very normal. I had it with my DS pretty much through the whole first trimester. If you do feel it, know that it is most likely your uterus stretching and growing, and your little egg burrowing in.

It's normal to worry and be anxious. We can't really feel or see what's going on. For me, it really helped to get to the second trimester and be able to feel my son moving...all the time! I'm looking forward to that, because I, too, am fighting the thoughts of "What if...?" But I am learning to take one day at a time and just keep reminding myself, "I am pregnant!"

Mommy to a boy (6), girls (4&2), and our baby boy (8 months)

Missing Ashlyn 10/18/06 and Brennan 10/18/10
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