advice? - Mothering Forums
October 2009 > advice?
JamieB's Avatar JamieB 05:50 AM 11-16-2009
Does anybody have any sleep advice for me? Right now it is 3am and my baby has been awake for 2 hours. He just will not go back to sleep. He does this every night. He eats about every 3 hours so I might get to sleep for an hour at a time. He is soooo overtired that I can't get him to sleep no matter what I do. Help me please because I am starting to go crazy!

RMM1117's Avatar RMM1117 11:02 AM 11-16-2009
When my LO did this we went for a 45 min car ride and she was out.
ZoraP's Avatar ZoraP 11:12 AM 11-16-2009
I don't know what your sleep arrangements are, but we co-sleep and I either nurse the LO to sleep or she gets patted to sleep while lying on my chest or DH's chest. This works for us -- once she's asleep we can put her in her own space in the bed. Sorry if these suggestions don't fit your circumstances; I don't have many other words of wisdom, though, because I tend to do whatever gets me the most sleep (and co-sleeping is it).
astar326's Avatar astar326 12:48 PM 11-16-2009
try to make sure lo doesn't sleep more than 2 hours during the day. my ds usually falls asleep in the sling/wrap, so that is what i do as we're winding down for the night. he falls asleep and then we co-sleep.
joyakshi's Avatar joyakshi 07:46 PM 11-16-2009
we're relying on the book "healthy sleep habits, happy child". it says sleep begets sleep. being overtired secretes stress hormones that prevent baby from settling. we try to get three 2 hour naps per day, then 12 hours at night. only staying awake for 1-2 hours at a time max during the day.
we're 5 weeks old.
tayndrewsmama's Avatar tayndrewsmama 09:44 PM 11-16-2009
Rocking chair? Ds seems to fall asleep easily if he's laid on me or dh chest to chest after nursing. That may be because I rocked and rocked while knitting before he was born though. I don't know. He doesn't sleep much at night either, but it's because he nurses and nurses and nurses some more. He isn't wide awake then.
JamieB's Avatar JamieB 04:03 AM 11-17-2009
Thanks for the replies everyone. We've still had no luck though for various reasons. He hates his carseat and side lying nursing does not work for us. Literally nothing puts him to sleep.

I'm not gonna lie, i'm getting really frustrated and disheartened. This is driving me crazy and making me really upset. It is so frustrating to rock and bounce and shush him to sleep just to watch him pop awake immediately. Sorry for complaining but thanks for listening.
cileag's Avatar cileag 04:11 PM 11-17-2009
Can you and your partner take turns holding him? Or can a friend come over and hold him and just let you get 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep? We've done that because Phoebe sleeps much much better in arms and it's been a life saver.
eloise24's Avatar eloise24 05:16 PM 11-17-2009
Jaime, I'm SO sorry I can't even imagine how upsetting that would be . . . I don't really have any other suggestions to offer, just sending a hope for you that he decides to sleep soon
leigh09's Avatar leigh09 05:21 PM 11-17-2009
i believe you when you say you are frustrated - i am too when my babies will not sleep during the middle of the night. i find though the calmer i am, the calmer my babies are. and sometimes i need to have my husband come rescue me in putting the kids to sleep because they pick up my tension and simply will not relax into sleep.

if he can't do it (he works during the day, i don't so i am on night duty about 95% of the time), watching tv while rocking helps distract me from what time it is and how much time is passing while rocking. my current newborn also hates the carseat, so i understand that it isn't great that what was my #1 way to get out of this situation with my first two children won't work with him.

lots of hugs, i know it's frustrating.
BlueEyedLady's Avatar BlueEyedLady 06:23 PM 11-17-2009
Sadie does this often too. I honestly think part of the problem is that she doesn't nap enough during the day since her brother tends to run around the house screaming.

I haven't found a good way to combat it either...I rock, bounce, walk, hold, sing, swaddle, etc. I usually just have to wait her out, and I'm really praying that this is something she grows out of, and SOON. Some nights I'm so tired I sit and cry right with her.
Friendlee's Avatar Friendlee 06:30 PM 11-17-2009
Does the baby ever get "milk drunk"? Can you try to breastfeed him in a diaper only and then warm up a bottle of maybe 2 ounces to help induce that milk coma thing babies do? And then directly after that lay in bed shirtless with the baby skin to skin (Of course side lying would be ideal, but I understand if that doesn't work it isn't an option).

My baby wakes easily and sometimes this uber snuggly approach will knock her out for a little longer than usual and will even help her sleep deeply enough for me to transport her to the bassinet without waking her. (It still only lasts an hour and a half max, but that's better than nothing!). I understand your frustration. Keep trying stuff...hopefully you'll find some little trick that just clicks with him.
MamatoPeach's Avatar MamatoPeach 12:06 AM 11-18-2009
loud fans, vacuum cleaner, swaddling, walking ?
shoefairy3's Avatar shoefairy3 12:09 AM 11-18-2009
have you tried a nice snug swaddle. my youngest needed to be swaddled really tight and then he would fall into a deep sleep. it would have been a lot easier if it wasn't July when he wanted to be swaddled tho
Mommy2Liz's Avatar Mommy2Liz 02:18 AM 11-18-2009
There are lots of good recommendations here. You will find something that works for you (hopefully soon!!) My midwife recommended a white noise machine. My little guy is only 2 weeks and sleeps really well so far, but I find when he has too much awake time, the white noise machine knocks him right out. It's working wonders on DH too!! lol

I completely understand the frustration you have. I hope you get some sleep soon, just remember it won't last forever!
Doberbrat's Avatar Doberbrat 04:48 PM 11-18-2009
jumping ddc to say btdt - its a sucky time for sure and very common to have days/nights mixed up.

a walk in a stroller w/a pram attachment often works - then wheel the whole thing inside or remove the pram part.

a bouncy chair on top of a dryer might work - be sure to stay "Right there" to make sure it doesnt vibrate off or anything.

taking turns holding the baby on your chest while you doze off w/your partner works.

and finally when dd was inconsolable, someone sent me this website....

I dont know why/how it works but it did consistently calm the colicky baby.
Pookietooth's Avatar Pookietooth 09:44 PM 11-18-2009
When this happens to us, I try everything ending up back with nursing dd in the sling. Sometimes what didn't work earlier will work later. DD will usually wake more if I turn the light on to change her, but what can you do?
JamieB's Avatar JamieB 12:27 AM 11-23-2009
Thanks for the advice everyone. Unfortunately things keep getting worse. I found a way for me to put DS to sleep pretty easily but he won't stay asleep. He might have the odd nap during the day and he'll do 2 2 hour stretches at night where I only have to shush him back to sleep a couple times and he stays asleep but other than that he is waking up constantly. And I mean constantly. He wakes up every few minutes. I mean fully awake and having to be put back to sleep. And this goes on all night! I don't know how I can keep doing this. I am so so tired and frustrated. And yes i've tried an elimination diet. Oh and this is with me holding him too that he wakes up this ofen. Doesn't matter if I hold him, lay him on his belly, put him in a swing, drive in the car, swaddle him whatever, he keeps waking
Spiralshell's Avatar Spiralshell 03:13 AM 11-23-2009
I have no advice beyond what's been given here already, but I couldn't read without sending you hugs -- hang in there!!

ZoraP's Avatar ZoraP 01:52 PM 11-23-2009
Wow, that really sounds difficult. There's really nothing that helps him stay asleep longer than a few minutes? Do you have a wrap carrier and have you tried walking with him in that? My dd likes to sleep in ours.

How is his nursing and weight gain? Is he gaining enough weight and does he seem to nurse efficiently? I'm asking because my LO was very wakeful during the week we were having milk transfer issues and she was hungry all the time. When I got her latching better and she started getting full, she would get the "milk coma" and I was able to settle her that way.

Any other issues that could cause problems? Too cold or too warm? (My dd likes to be really warm when she sleeps.) Pain from some cause? With that much waking and crying you need some detective work to figure out what's up (which is pretty hard to do in a sleep-deprived state, I know.)

This will be counter to what people have been guessing so far, but now I wonder if he's getting too much stimulation near you and would sleep better by himself? (My brother slept best by himself even as a tiny baby -- he's still a loner! LOL) One time I was running around taking care of my other 2 and let my little one cry frantically for longer than I wanted to (maybe 10 minutes?). I was surprised to find that she fell asleep and stayed asleep for a good 2 hours after that, so I guess she was just tired out and needed to rest. I'm not an advocate of cry-it-out, but if you let him cry for a few minutes does he go to sleep then? (It's worth experimenting.)

I also agree that sleep begets sleep. All three of mine have slept better at night when they get more naps during the day. The only issue there is I never let them nap longer than 2 hours or so when they were so little; I'd actually wake them up to change and nurse them (just to get their days and nights organized).

Good luck and I hope things settle down soon!