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#1 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 11:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just got a very faint BFP. This was NOT planned, and I am the type of person who plans everything to the letter five years in advance. Basically, I ovulated 3 days earlier than I was supposed to and dh's sperm lived 2 days longer than they were supposed to, either that or a condom leaked. I haven't told anyone except dh and he took it surprisingly well for having been adamantly anti-baby up until it happened.

I AM FREAKING OUT. I don't know whether/if/when to tell anyone else IRL. I am already feeling QUITE pregnant even though I am only 13 dpo. I would rather not be pregnant, but at the same time I already love this baby. Did I mention I am freaking out???

Edited to add: We conceived on February 23 so that would mean a due date of November 16, right?

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#2 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 11:22 AM
 
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You are reminding me so much of my coworker, who once told me that her second pregnancy was completely unplanned and a huge surprise (the first one was through IVF, so they settled on having one child and that's it and were very happy with that)

She was also freaking out, and cried and cried, and then her mother told her to stop crying, a baby was always a beautiful thing no matter what, and to pull herself together.

Well, that baby turned out to be the sweetest, most quiet and caml baby (her first one was quite a handfull, from what she says!). Her sons are now 24 and 22 years old, both happy and successful and soon to be university graduates in physics and math, and I've met them both and they are very nice and impressive young men.

So hang in there...I'm a big believer that things happen for a reason, when they are meant to happen. This little baby's spirit probably has a lot to tell and show the world!
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#3 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 11:26 AM
 
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(((((mama))))) you know what they say, "the best laid plans ..." it will all fall into place & feel right soon enough!

Jenn, wife to John
Mama to Kayleigh (6), Ethan (4), Norah (1), & Charlotte coming 11.09
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#4 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 11:32 AM
 
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Luckily you've got plenty of time to get used to the idea before baby shows up. And "they" say you don't regret the children you do have, only the ones you didn't.

Glad your hubby took the surprise well. You can freak out all you need to. Welcome to the DDC! :

Melissa, wife to Brian, mommy to my home born, breastfeeding, sling-riding, sleep sharing, cloth diapered, intact kiddos Adam 11/09 and Leah 8/12.

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#5 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 11:44 AM
 
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My brother and I am 13 mos apart. My brother was an extremely difficult birth and my parents were dirt poor. When he was 4 mos and they found out I was on the way, they cried and my dad even asked my mom to get an abortion. Thankfully she didn't though, and I ended up being an easy middle child and loved my parents.

Congrats on your little bean! Everything will work out! :

Momma to DD (12/04) hearts.gif and DS (11/09) hbac.gif.
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!

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#6 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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Congrats! I was in your boat a few days ago and while it's not completely sunk in, I am better than the day I tested. I completely understand where you are coming from right now.

It's great that your dh is good with it. Mine was too even though he was also on the no more babies train. I really needed his calmness in all of this because I thought I was going to lose my ever loving mind!

Give yourself a few days to absorb it all and I am sure things will settle a bit. Well, perhaps not your tummy, but your mind should.
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#7 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 05:14 PM
 
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We were in this same position a week ago. Congratulations!
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#8 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 09:59 PM
 
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We were in this same position a week ago. Congratulations!

Is this your first? This surprise is #7 for us. I am also a planner and we were also being VERY careful. But obviously I am uber fertile and DH has super sperm or we had defective condoms. I have had other surprises (and for the record, it is a surprise not an accident. An accident is something bad, that you wouldn't want to happen again, a surprise is something wonderful that you never even knew you wanted!) Give yourself time to adjust to the shock (and you will, I find it happens rather quickly) and allow yourself to make new and wonderful plans for you surprise!

Katie, mama to Katherine 21, Christian 19, Johannah 17, Nicholas 12, Genevieve 10, Matthew 7, Andrew 11/16/09 10#6oz home waterbirth and madly in love with my husband, Scott
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#9 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 10:58 PM
 
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I hear ya--we were surprised by our pregnancy too. I KNEW I was fertile and we took a chance sans condom (I remember thinking, what's one time gonna hurt?) and here we are expecting #3!

On top of the pregnancy we are also in the middle of trying to sell our house so that we can move to another state--and neither me or my hubby have jobs there yet. We really need to sell our house before I get too far along--who is going to want to hire me if I have to waddle in the room for my interview?!!!

Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest and try not to get too stressed--years from now you'll wonder why you were ever even worrying about it. (That's what I keep telling myself!)
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#10 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 11:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is this your first? This surprise is #7 for us. I am also a planner and we were also being VERY careful.
This is our second. I am an only child and I was not lonely growing up, nor am I any more spoiled or selfish than any other American, but when I was a kid my parents piled a ton of perfectionistic expectations on me that were painful to deal with, and I always wanted to have 2 children as a sort of insurance against my doing the same thing. But then we had 1, and she's not really high-needs but she still knocked us out of the ballpark; we adore her, but maaaaan, were we ever done. Especially dh. I was more on the fence and had only just recently decided that 1 child was a good plan. I guess I need a new plan now.

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

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#11 of 19 Old 03-07-2009, 11:20 PM
 
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But then we had 1, and she's not really high-needs but she still knocked us out of the ballpark; we adore her, but maaaaan, were we ever done. Especially dh. I was more on the fence and had only just recently decided that 1 child was a good plan. I guess I need a new plan now.
That's what #1 did to me. It was dh who convinced me otherwise. I'm excited now, but it took me a LONG time to get to this point.

DS was a total surprise for us, so I completely know where you're coming from. Hang in there and try to enjoy the experience for the last time.
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#12 of 19 Old 03-08-2009, 02:20 PM
 
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Congratulations!! As the OP said, I believe we only regret the children we don't have, not the ones we do.

You will be fine, just give yourself time to absorb the news. As you can see, you have lots of other mamas here who can relate to you and offer you suppport!


Mama to my beautiful DS bornhomebirth.jpg 11/09 and sweet DD born homebirth.jpg1/12.  angel1.gif Malaika 3/11 (8 wks).  winner.jpgnocirc.gifsaynovax.gifhola.gif
 
 

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#13 of 19 Old 03-08-2009, 02:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, it's been a day, and I think now, I'm to the point where I'm happy about the thought of having a second child, but I'm petrified of the thought of financially supporting it. YIKES.

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

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#14 of 19 Old 03-08-2009, 02:44 PM
 
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Well, it's been a day, and I think now, I'm to the point where I'm happy about the thought of having a second child, but I'm petrified of the thought of financially supporting it. YIKES.
That is one of the benefits of cooking them for 9 months. It gives you more time to figure out what the heck to do. I kind of think we could use twice that amount of time to figure it out, but I guess that's not an option.

I am glad you are feeling better about this now.
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#15 of 19 Old 03-09-2009, 08:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Now it's been two days and I'm starting to freak out again. I look to the future to having, say, a 4-year-old and an 8-year-old, and that sounds fun, but OMG having a baby/toddler is SO INSANE!!! Dd is weaned and almost potty trained and still does inexplicable things, but she's much more reasonable than she was a year ago.

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

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#16 of 19 Old 03-10-2009, 11:21 PM
 
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Well our newest 'surprise' will be #4 (and I am sooo a planner so this is taking me for a loop let me tell you). DHs job is very unstable right now and that scares the bejeepers out of me but I just keep breathing in and out and hoping for the best.

Steph

Steph~~momma to Rhys 2002, Niamh 2004, Isla 2007 and Deirdre 2009
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#17 of 19 Old 03-11-2009, 08:40 AM
 
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You aren't alone in the freaking out department. Trust me! A good friend told me to take it one day at a time. That is what I am doing.

Mommy to ds12, dd11, ds8, ds6, dd4, ^dd^ HB Loss, and dd 1
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#18 of 19 Old 03-11-2009, 01:49 PM
 
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You aren't alone in the freaking out department. Trust me! A good friend told me to take it one day at a time. That is what I am doing.
Oh my, your Mary is absolutely beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss. When was she born?

Katie, mama to Katherine 21, Christian 19, Johannah 17, Nicholas 12, Genevieve 10, Matthew 7, Andrew 11/16/09 10#6oz home waterbirth and madly in love with my husband, Scott
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#19 of 19 Old 03-11-2009, 03:00 PM
 
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She was born June 5th at 4:40am at home. Was pronounced at 11:34am. If you want any details, pm me.

Mommy to ds12, dd11, ds8, ds6, dd4, ^dd^ HB Loss, and dd 1
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