Who To Tell, And When??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 04-15-2009, 10:19 PM - Thread Starter
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Just wondering what everyone else is doing as far as telling friends/family/coworkers about the pregnancy.

I am 7.5 weeks, and we did tell our parents, and siblings around 5.5 weeks. We also told a few very close, select friends. I plan to tell my coworkers (after notifying my boss of course) in week 11, also all of our other friends after that time.

I know many wait until after the 1st trimester is entirely over, but if we m/c, I would want my family and best friend to know what we are going through....but coworker and boss is a different story.

I am feeling ok about 11 weeks, because I have been followed closely and the baby has a strong heartbeat and my bloodwork looks great (fingers crossed).

So, when did everyone else tell (or will tell) people in their lives???
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#2 of 11 Old 04-15-2009, 10:23 PM
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Everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) knew within days of me getting a positive HPT. This is our first and I just couldn't keep it a secret .. no way. Plus, I thought I would appreciate the support if (God forbid) something were to go wrong.
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#3 of 11 Old 04-15-2009, 10:28 PM
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We also told family and a few close friends early. DH also told his boss early because he needed to get some information about how his paternity leave would work, especially since my due date is Thanksgiving and on the off chance I actually start labor on my EDD again, we wanted to be prepared.

We're planning to contact our "second tier" friends sometime next month (end of the first trimester). After that, there isn't really anybody else we're planning to specifically tell. I'll probably make up some birth announcements to send out afterwords to all the distant relatives and so forth, but I wasn't planning to make a special effort to tell them ahead of time.

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
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#4 of 11 Old 04-15-2009, 10:41 PM
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I had to tell my parents and some of my immediate close friends, partly because they were going to wonder why I have zero energy, don't want to go out at night and am so particular about food (I can't sit in a cafe or restaurant with strong food smells).

But I figured I'd wait until week 11 or 12 for everyone else.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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#5 of 11 Old 04-16-2009, 12:07 AM
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I told some people immediately after the bfp, and pretty much everyone knew within about three weeks. Intellectually I believe it's better to wait until after the first trimester to tell anyone except close friends, but in reality I can't keep my mouth shut to save my life.

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#6 of 11 Old 04-16-2009, 08:48 AM
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Hee hee...we have been exactly the opposite! We've told friends & total strangers, but not our families! Isn't that a little backwards?

There's a method to our madness...
1) We're trying to protect DS from a bombardment of "big brother" talk, as, at 2, he really has no concept of a baby yet.
2) Our family is big and loving and wonderful, but overwhelming at times and very mainstream. When we do tell them in a couple of weeks, there will be much joy and excitement, but also a lot of friction when it comes to our "weird" choices.

We're making the official announcement on Mother's Day.
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#7 of 11 Old 04-16-2009, 10:51 AM
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I told everyone I knew as soon as I knew for sure. They were not really excited which upset me and now everyone is disinvited to the birth (I'm a grudge holder) but they weren't excited because I've had two m/c since my younger son's birth and so they don't get happy till we're sure we get to keep the baby. Tho I understand their reasons the attitude upsets me, all babies whether we keep them for a day or for a million years need to know they are loved and wanted.

Austin June 2006; Xander March 2008; Shay Nov 2009; 5 babies gone to heaven.
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#8 of 11 Old 04-16-2009, 08:19 PM
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With my first we waited until about 11 wks to tell anyone, besides a couple of close friends.
This time I was planning on doing the same but now we've told random people. I told my close girlfriends. We told some friends when we were out of town, people we RARELY see and so it was hard not to tell them what was "new" with us. I ended up telling my boss and co-worker at about 8 wks. I was feeling icky and it was going to be hard to hide. Plus we were making some decisions at work and I felt it was only fair to let my boss plan ahead. But we are waiting a few more weeks before telling family and others.
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#9 of 11 Old 04-16-2009, 11:28 PM
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we only tell folks that we won't mind "untelling" if necessary. Having gone through a m/c @12 weeks after announcing at work, we learned the hard way.

Stinkerton 12/10/01 9lbs8oz, induced to c/s; Little Man 5/20/03 7lbs11oz, r c/s, fear of another labor; Jillybean 11/18/07 10lbs8oz 37cm head, induced VBA2C; and the Wee Beastie, 9lbs8oz, 35cm head, rpt VBA2C
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#10 of 11 Old 04-17-2009, 12:02 AM
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Originally Posted by mamatolevi View Post
we only tell folks that we won't mind "untelling" if necessary.

Having also had a late first trimester loss, I'm just more guarded. HR knows because I have already missed time and they're very supportive in terms of providing coverage, etc. and my immediate family also knows, I could not have gotten through these weeks without them. I will tell my Nana on Mother's day and start telling everyone else after that.

DH hasn't told his parents, I'm not sure when/if he will, but that is his call.
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#11 of 11 Old 04-17-2009, 01:23 AM
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ahh, well i thought i was 4 weeks farther along when i found out (i'm about 13 now, not 17 )--so i told everybody thinking i was 10w and then couldn't find a HB for several weeks so yeah.

i got a much better reaction from my boss than my mother--how sad is that?

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