Will anyone else have a toddler when this baby is born? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 09:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My due date is 2 days shy of DD's second birthday. And honestly, I don't know how I am going to do it. I know people do it all the time- DH and his brother are 11 months apart. But my MIL is sooo laid back... I am thinking down to the stroller. Do I need a side-by-side? Or a front and back? Or do I just put the baby in the sling? how do I fit 2 carseats in the car? How do I maneuver them both out the door? What about grocery shopping??

I am a chronic worrier and i know I just need to roll with it.. I am just thinking about the logistics.

Maybe I should not have had that cup of coffee this morning.

Kerri, mom to Doran  angel2.gif  (born still 7/6/05 at 33 weeks), Mairaed (11/16/07),  angel1.gif 11/15/08 at 10 weeks,  Kieran (11/2/09).   angel1.gif 1/11/11 at 15 weeks
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#2 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 09:30 AM
 
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I will have an almost 5 year old and this one is due almost 2 months before DD's 2nd bday. I am way nervous! Since my other 2 were nearly 3 years apart, DS was really doing a lot for himself. Could get his own drink from the fridge, snack from the pantry, etc. Also, he potty trained just a few months into having DD home. So, I was only changing 1 kiddo!

Now, I have DD who is a real spitfire. She goes around the house saying, "I the baby" and pretty much demands nearly 100% attention. I just keep telling myself that she will be a bit older when baby arrives. Nearly 2 is was different than 15 months!

As for strollers, I have a Joovy Caboose and I am hoping that will do us. Otherwise, I am considering a cheapie side by side to get us by for a bit.

Luck, luck, luck to us both!
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#3 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 09:36 AM
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Originally Posted by maisiedotes View Post
My due date is 2 days shy of DD's second birthday. And honestly, I don't know how I am going to do it. I know people do it all the time- DH and his brother are 11 months apart. But my MIL is sooo laid back... I am thinking down to the stroller. Do I need a side-by-side? Or a front and back? Or do I just put the baby in the sling? how do I fit 2 carseats in the car? How do I maneuver them both out the door? What about grocery shopping??

I am a chronic worrier and i know I just need to roll with it.. I am just thinking about the logistics.

Maybe I should not have had that cup of coffee this morning.
My due date is the day before Carter's second birthday. I'm currently freaking out about the birthday party situation! I keep telling this one not to come before his or her brother's birthday. I'll feel really guilty if they end up sharing a birthday!

Maybe I'm in denial, but I really don't think having two car seats in the car is that big of a deal. And I have a Mustang!

Carter is already a good little walker, we get out and do a ton of stuff, and most the time he is walking, in the sling, or in the Ergo (no wonder I have SI pain, 30lbs on your hip will probably do that!) I'm planning on keeping my single stroller and carrying whichever little one is not riding. Grocery shopping isn't really too big of a concern either. Carter loves to ride in the cart, so I'll just have the new one in a sling.

Even though I don't have the same worries as you, I do have some! I'm seriously worried about tandem nursing. Am I going to be doing anything except nursing? Carter is a complete breast-addict! Plus, he loves to switch sides. How am I going to convince him to "share" and be nice and calm while the baby is nursing?

Also, I'm planning on taking classes this fall semester. I'm very nervous about my coursework! How am I going to get it done if I'm nursing all the time?

And bedtimes. Carter usually takes me about an hour or more to get down for bed. I seriously have no structure or schedule when it comes to his sleeping or eating. He eats and sleeps when he is hungry and tired. Do I need to be a bit more rigid? Like, maybe just having a regular bedtime?

I'm pretty loose-y goose-y in a lot of respects, but I'm a worrier, too. Maybe we can all toss around ideas of what will work for our various, differing concerns, because they are all significant and important.

Rebecca, mama to Carter Elliot , 06 November 07, Holden Oliver, 10 November 09, and Harper Lucinda Amelie, 26 September 11 and someone new, coming at the end of September 2013.

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#4 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 09:56 AM
 
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I will have about a 2.5 yr old and nearly 5.5 yr old when the baby is born.

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#5 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 10:24 AM
 
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I'll have a just turned 3 yr old and a 16 month old when the new one arrives. I'm nervous too! We just went out and bought a mini van because there was no chance of fitting three car seats in our car. I have a double stroller which I plan to use for the older two - for outings, such as the zoo and then wear the baby in a sling. Sometimes when I try to go places with my two now I think I've gone crazy... but then I just keep telling myself that it will all work out! We usually don't go out a lot during the winter (we are in North Dakota) so by the time spring comes around, everyone will be a little older and hopefully that will make it easier. I think it will actually be nice to have them so close in age - even if it is busy at first.

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#6 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 11:13 AM
 
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Yes, this baby is due about 2mos. after my youngest DS' 2nd b-day. I know people have kids 2yrs. apart all the time - but I never have! My older 2 are just 5 and 8 now. I'm thinking it will be a challenge for me! I had not planned on having kiddos this close together, but I'll just have to make it work.

Sarah : , mama to Lucas (8) , Ryan (5) : , Andrew (1yr) , and someone new : due early Dec.
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#7 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 11:15 AM
 
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This time around I will have a 5 yo ( Baby is due right around her birthday)
and a just turned 3 yo.
DS was due about 2 weeks before DDs second birthday.
I over thought things nd bought a double stroller that was barely used. DD wanted to walk by that point and was far more independant than I imagined.
She still nursed like crazy but that was actually a good thing because it allowed me to have her sitting quietly with me.

2 car seats should be relativly easy to put in a car lol I am a bit worried about 3
As far as getting everyone out the door you just do it. Get everything ready to go before the kids, then dress and go. I found my second alot easier than first because you have the experience you didn't have before.
My sling was a godsend and I tried to do the shopping with just one when Dh was at home.

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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#8 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 11:56 AM
 
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DD Will be 18 mos old....I'm not too too worried...but I know that I am going to be unbelievably tired. Oh my gosh, I cannot even think of it right now. The way I feel at the moment....I'm just so tired...I cannot imagine that it is possible to be more tired than I am...but I know that it IS and that I WILL BE!! EEEEK!

Me and DH ...lovin' DD dust.gif(6/08) and DS kid.gif(11/09) Plus NEW BABY!! DD baby.gif (UC-5/12) We heartbeat.gif Water Birth/Homebirth/No Vax or Circ/BF/BW/Country Livin'! chicken3.gif

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#9 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 12:28 PM
 
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Heh heh heh...I have a six year old, a three year old, and a 14 month old...how to handle an infant in with this crew? Just put 'em in a sling and go! My 14 month old isn't walking yet...well, he walks about three steps and then crawls. If he's not walking by the time this baby is born, I guess I'll just get a wagon!!!!

Perdita, wife to J, mom to Bridget (6), Ivy (4) Trace (2) and Fiona, my 3rd vbac baby, born 12/2/09!
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#10 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 12:39 PM
 
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thankfully my baby will be 8 when this one is born but the car seat thing is Killing me i had a blazer when my son was born and now i have a mini cooper HOW am i ever going to get a car seat in that?????? UGH i love my car and the thought of haveing to trade it in makes me soo sad!

Jen loveing Wifey to my Hubby Jeremy Mommy to Austin David and KayLeigh marie
i love my life!!!
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#11 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 12:47 PM
 
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My first two were 21 months apart. It was insane, but we did it. My oldest also has autism, so I think that added to the chaos, but who knows. This time I will have a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 year old in addition to this newborn. I think I'm in denial about that, but I've got some time to work it all out.

I agree with whoever said the sling. I was able to take both of my kids grocery shopping when my younger one was a small baby. I just timed it during his nap so I knew he's sleep in the sling the entire time.

You'd be amazed what you do when you have to.
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#12 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 12:53 PM
 
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DD will be about 18 mo when her brother is born. She is already very independent so I'm hoping it will be a smooth transition. She does so well with other kids in daycare. She doesn't like to play by herself, so hopefully a sibling will make it easier!

Part-Time WOHM/Full-Time WAHM to 2 little sweeties PEANUT(2yo) & BUGS(8mos)
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#13 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 01:35 PM
 
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I'll have a 7 yo, 4 yo, and 2 yo when the baby is born. The 2 yo will be 3 in Feb.

I didn't buy a double stroller when I just had 2 kids. I didn't even buy one until my 3rd insisted on getting into the single stroller (she was over a year). If my 2nd had been more cooperative (she STILL runs away ) I wouldn't have even bought the double-- I would have had her walk. I think doubles are a pain. They are heavy, for the most part. Maybe the $500-700 ones are better, but I could not pay that for a stroller . . .and no matter what, it's STILL a double, which is automatically more awkward than a single.

Anyway, look on Craigslist if you really want one, but you have plenty of time.

For strollers under $300 (I don't like the tandem) I would recommend the Inglesina Swift, the MacClaren Twin (that's what I have-- got it for under $200 used), but these are both heavy. The only light one is the PP Aria, which my sis has and likes. A good place to look is www.Albeebaby.com

I think personality matters a LOT. My 3rd isn't so into running away, so I am not as worried about her. I will probably worry more about my 2nd when the baby comes.

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#14 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 04:56 PM
 
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Ours lives will be pretty hectic for awhile. We have a 7 month old daughter now and when the twins are born she will a year and 3 months:

: DD 8/29/08 and twin boys 11/3/09
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#15 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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My toddler will turn 3 a few weeks after this new babe arrives. I'm cautiously optimistic that it will turn out ok I figure millions of other mamas have dealt with way more than that and survived, so surely I can stumble through it

As far as the logistics of how we will make the cosleeping and getting into places from parking lots and all those other things work, I'm not ready to think about it yet
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#16 of 37 Old 04-24-2009, 11:47 PM
 
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Dd will only be 17 months when this one comes...do I win?

I have no idea how I'll deal with it, we have no family here...it was super hard for me with dd, but part of that is I'm super social by nature and felt isolated with a newborn...am I being too optimistic to hope having a crazy toddler running around will help with that?

Wife to dh and mama to : dd (7/08) and ds (11/09)
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#17 of 37 Old 04-25-2009, 02:43 AM
 
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I will have an almost 3 yr old and a 5 yr old when this baby comes.

Ds1 was 28 mos and still very high needs when ds2 came along. It is hectic, but you find new routines and roll with it. Remember when you were stressed out about waking up at night to nurse and changing diapers, but now that is so easy? It is kind of like that. For the first month or so it might sometimes take an hour to get out the door, but you do get out the door eventually. You find a way for everyone to sleep peacefully (we had ds1's bed next to ours for about 6 months) and eat regularly. It is chaotic at times, but also a lot of fun to watch their growing interactions as siblings.

I agree with all the pp about slings - I wore ds2 a lot while doing my normal routine with ds1, and during nursing time I had a blanket on the couch and a bunch of quiet do-with-mommy activities he could do while I nursed the baby (puzzles, books, colouring).

I found that with your second you get out of the house a lot quicker because your toddler is driving you crazy, and you want to take them to all their normal weekly activities. And you are more comfortable with nursing in public and all that, so you don't need as long to settle in.

We don't have a double stroller. I carried ds2 and pushed ds1 for their first summer, then last summer ds2 was sitting well so we got a wagon, or I carried the littler one on my back. This year ds1 wants to take his bike or walk and so ds2 finally gets the stroller. Last year I would sometimes put my sleeping toddler in the stroller and let ds1 ride on the front where their feet are supposed to sit for short trips.

Jill , mom to Andrew (09/04), Aaron(01/07), and Emma (11/09)
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#18 of 37 Old 04-25-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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my first two are 23mo apart & my last two will be 22mo apart. i will have a 6.5yr old, a 4.5 year old, & a 22mo old when this one comes.

the hardest thing about it for me when we had #2, was that dh was out to sea. ethan had to be held all. the. time., so it was hard for me to play with kayleigh. we lived in va & he got beet red when we were outside for more than 5 minutes, so we spent a lot of time inside watching tv that first summer, lol. if you have a partner around to help, you should be okay!


we didn't buy a double stroller. dd hated strolers, lol. when we went to stores, he went in the sling, she went in the top of the cart. same with the mall, ect, but then she walked & he was slung.

we did buy a phil & ted's with double kit when norah was born & it's gotten a lot of use, more than our old stroller ever did.

carseats aren't hard, one on each side. and getting them out of the house isn't so hard - you'll see! i just keep diapers/wipes in the car at all times, so i never carry a diaper bag or need to "pack": when we leave. just brush hair/teeth, get shoes on & go!

Jenn, wife to John
Mama to Kayleigh (6), Ethan (4), Norah (1), & Charlotte coming 11.09
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#19 of 37 Old 04-25-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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I'll have a 3 yr old...I worry a lot about tandem nursing and how ds will react to sharing his milk.

My son is also VERY high needs, so finding ways to continue meeting his needs while also caring for a newborn seems really daunting. I just keep telling myself that it we will all be navigating this together.

Carolina, tree hugging, treehugger.gif animal loving, backyard chicken keeping, Wife to Dh, homeschooling Mama to Ds1(Aug '06) and Ds2 (Nov '09)

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#20 of 37 Old 04-25-2009, 04:34 PM
 
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ddc crashing...

my oldest dd was about 2.5 when her little sister arrived.
the best advice i got was 'it will get better at 2 months' i remember one day i wasnt so stressed out or trying to keep up and realized that was about two months.

on the milk front, sandrel was very involved in liesls pregnancy, we would lay in bed and talk about the baby, she would talk to the baby whispering at my belly button. and i started in with the whole 'tiny babies only eat boobie, they cant eat anything else or they could get hurt very badly' we talked about formula and why i dont find that an acceptable choice. and i let her know that the baby will be sharing milk with her. i would randomly ask her 'are you going to share milk with your sister?' and she was pretty excited about sharing with her new sister. when her sister came i did have to remind her sometimes to share.
by that time 'breastmilk makes my tummy yummy' was a favourite of hers. so when she got possessive i would say 'two can breastfeed without fuss, there is room for both of us' (from the tandem nursing page) and it helped alot.

when i was pregnant i also googled pictures of tandem nursing mamas and talked about it with sandrel.

i also got her a doll so she could have a baby like me.

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#21 of 37 Old 04-25-2009, 05:00 PM
 
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OP we were actually in the ddc together in nov 07! I will have an almost 4 and a just turning 2 when this one arrives. DD was only 21 mo when DS was born and the first three months were insane. Just getting used to taking care of two at a time was a lot of work, and DD learning to share me and my milk. After that it is almost easier than having one. They entertain each other and I get a lot more done than I ever did with just 1. You will find your rhythm! The sling is a lifesaver in the early months. I am planning on getting a double stroller this time so I can sling the newest and still push the older two if needed.
When going shopping I try to park next to a cart return, so I can grab a cart and toss in both kids before going in (now that DS is older) before I would toss in DD and stand next to the cart to put DS in a sling. I also taught DD to "touch the van" right next to my leg and not let go while I was putting DS in and out. We still use that a lot. Now DS might not catch on to that so I might need another trick for him this time around. You also can carry one babe in arms and hold the others hand to walk into a place if needed. I sling my diaper bag over my shoulder and go everywhere like this.
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#22 of 37 Old 04-25-2009, 08:55 PM
 
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I'll have a 3 yr old...I worry a lot about tandem nursing and how ds will react to sharing his milk.
kayleigh was 23mo when ethan was born, and i weaned her a week after ethan was born. lots of people can do it, i just couldn't. part of it may have been i was on my own with dh gone, but she was a greedy nurser. lol! we had the most trouble during the night. daytime wasn't so bad, but she did NOT like to share at night. so i made an executive decision and weaned her. she never asked again.

ethan was still nursing when i got pregnant with norah. i actually found out i was pregnant on his second birthday. i weaned him when i was 3mo along, right before dh deployed. i knew i couldn't wean him alone, and i knew if i kept nursing, we'd have a replay of the first time.

i'm worried with norah. she's only 16mo, so i can't even imagine weaning her, yet, let alone moving her from our bed..... but i don't want to tandem again. so dh refinished the toddler bed this week, and we're going to move her sometime soon. i'm not going to 100% wean her, but try night weaning first (she's been nursing at least 5x a night lately). i would like her fully weaned by the time new baby gets here, though. even though it woudl be earlier than the other two. :/

Jenn, wife to John
Mama to Kayleigh (6), Ethan (4), Norah (1), & Charlotte coming 11.09
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#23 of 37 Old 04-26-2009, 09:03 AM
 
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Haley will be 2.5 when the baby comes. I'm hoping these last 8 teeth are in by then b/c she has been MISERABLE the last two weeks.

I've been going back and forth on double strollers and I think I'm leaning more towards avoiding it. DD doesn't really use the stroller as it is so it seems silly to invest in a double for just the one rider. Now I have to convince DH to babywear. Otherwise he'll do the carrier-in-stroller ALL.THE.TIME.!

I've already had two car seats in my car and it wasn't too big of a deal. When DD was around 13 months I had her convertible and her infant seat in the car b/c she was falling asleep on the way to work. It was eaiser to keep her asleep by putting her in the infant seat (which she hadn't outgrown) and carrying her in than taking her out. I'm more concerned about how DD will react to Daddy not sitting in the back with her and reading books.

BFARing mama to Haley (3/07) and Abigail (11/10/09)
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#24 of 37 Old 04-27-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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My son will be 2.5 when this one is born!

Jesus-loving Doula/Birth Photographer Mama to Tor 4/2007, Zion 11/2009, Enoch 11/2011, and Zephyr due 12/13/2013

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#25 of 37 Old 04-27-2009, 05:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by impromptukiss View Post
kayleigh was 23mo when ethan was born, and i weaned her a week after ethan was born. lots of people can do it, i just couldn't. part of it may have been i was on my own with dh gone, but she was a greedy nurser. lol! we had the most trouble during the night. daytime wasn't so bad, but she did NOT like to share at night. so i made an executive decision and weaned her. she never asked again.

ethan was still nursing when i got pregnant with norah. i actually found out i was pregnant on his second birthday. i weaned him when i was 3mo along, right before dh deployed. i knew i couldn't wean him alone, and i knew if i kept nursing, we'd have a replay of the first time.

i'm worried with norah. she's only 16mo, so i can't even imagine weaning her, yet, let alone moving her from our bed..... but i don't want to tandem again. so dh refinished the toddler bed this week, and we're going to move her sometime soon. i'm not going to 100% wean her, but try night weaning first (she's been nursing at least 5x a night lately). i would like her fully weaned by the time new baby gets here, though. even though it woudl be earlier than the other two. :/
I am planning similiarly. Luke nightweaned on his own soon into pregnancy but kept up nursing during the day all the way through and then we tandemed off and on for about a year. It was miserable really, I don't want to repeat. Lily is not acting like she wants to nightwean on her own so I am working on it and the plan is to completely wean before the baby gets here- we will see how the last part goes. Also- I never moved Luke out of our bed so it has been the both of them the last 2 years- however I don't want 3 kids in the bed so they will be moving out together hopefully in the next couple of months. As it is we are terribly crowded and I am so tired of crawling over everyone to go pee at night.

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#26 of 37 Old 04-27-2009, 06:25 PM
 
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DS will be 2.5 when the baby is born. He's starting to communicate more with words so I am hoping that by the time the baby comes he will be a lot better and that will make it easier for both of us. I'm debating getting a double stroller- we use our stroller for DS for when we are out and about all day, but I think I'll hold off on buying a double and see if I can just use a sling for the new baby. I'm hoping by the time I'll want to use it for the baby DS will be old enough to walk the whole time.

Two carseats won't be that big of a deal- we have an Altima which has a pretty spacious backseat for a car. I've had two carseats back there before and while it takes up the whole backseat it's not cramped.

Things like bedtime and naps concern me a little because DS needs help to fall asleep but I'm trying not to worry about it because who knows how much he will have grown by November.

Kirsten, mama to Monkey since May 2007 and Bean born 11/7/09
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#27 of 37 Old 04-27-2009, 06:36 PM
 
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DS will be 2 years, 8 months when the new little one is born.
I'm trying to take it all in stride. DS is still nursing anywhere from 3-6x a day. In the past week, he's consistently been more in the 3-4x range and I feel comfortable with that trend. I haven't given much consideration to tandeming, but if that's the way it goes, so be it.
I do hope that DS will be moving closer towards potty learning though! He's 25 months now and uses the potty *occasionally* but is not really motivated yet.

My big worry is about space. We own a two-family house, so we basically live in a 2 bedroom apartment. It will be fine for the time being, but not the long run.
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#28 of 37 Old 04-27-2009, 08:43 PM
 
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I have a toddler now, but he'll be 3 just a couple of months after this baby comes, so he probably won't feel quite so little by then...he feels little now though!!!

My mom had her first 4 in 5 years...
A friend of mine thought she was having 4 in 5 years but whoops it's twins so it's 5 in 5 years...
And another friend of mine, well, 12m between #1 and #2, 19m between #2 and #3, expecting this fall (21 m)...and just found out that it's twin boys.
So that will be 5 kids in just over 4 years.


See, don't you feel like you've got it easy now?!

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
loving my wild things DS Wolf (12), 3 angels, DS Bear (6) & DS Eagle (3)
 

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#29 of 37 Old 04-28-2009, 12:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maisiedotes View Post
My due date is 2 days shy of DD's second birthday. And honestly, I don't know how I am going to do it. I know people do it all the time- DH and his brother are 11 months apart. But my MIL is sooo laid back... I am thinking down to the stroller. Do I need a side-by-side? Or a front and back? Or do I just put the baby in the sling? how do I fit 2 carseats in the car? How do I maneuver them both out the door? What about grocery shopping??

I am a chronic worrier and i know I just need to roll with it.. I am just thinking about the logistics.
Maybe I should not have had that cup of coffee this morning.
Hi Kerri, not in your DDC club with this bebe (go NOV 07!!)... I worry about the same things. We are going to get a side-by-side and I plan on wearing the new baby when I push my son in the other stroller. We bought DS#1 a great stroller and I don't want to get rid of it, so exercise type walks I'll just wear new baby.

I have no clue what I will do about grocery shopping. I can't image West being old enough to not sit in the cart. Maybe I'll have to wear new baby in the store too... or I'll just send DH on the shopping trips... or wait until he gets home.

We'll figure it out I guess

Kimberly
(Mama to West (11/07) Mabel Kelly 10/02/09)
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#30 of 37 Old 04-28-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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My daughter will be 2.75 when this baby is born. I'm terrified of the very beginning. I don't want my daughter to feel "abandoned" or sad about sharing my attention. But I think it will also be so good for her and she'll love being a big sister.
My main concern is having a newborn at the beginning of a long New England winter. My toddler is happy as a clam if she can spend the entire day outside... winter will be tough, and we've got a tiny house. I'm nervous...
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