I can't figure out what to do. I need some help deciding. I want a homebirth but at the same time I am scared! I had a c/s with ds almost 3 years ago and hospital VBAC for dd almost 18mos ago and had horrible experience with dd birth. I am still tramatized(sp) from it and don't want to go back to the hospital. In a nut shell I was told to shut up and not make any noise I gave in and asked for an epi and the tool tried 11 times and it didn't work but they still put a cath in me and were VERY rough down there thinking I couldn't feel it etc.. I also had an episiatomy(sp) without consent and they sewed me up very bad. I had a ton of internal and externl cuts. My dd wasn't breathing right and was 9 lbs 3oz so they wounldn't let me see her for 6 hours until her body temp regulated. I wasn't even able to hold her. It took me 6mos to heal physically from it.
It seems like a home birth would be a no brainer but I guess I am afraid of the worst. All the what ifs. I feel like even though I was at a hospital and had a horrible time what if something happened to the baby or me that could of been prevented at the hospital. Does any of this make sense? I have bad luck in general with anything to do with medical treatments procedures. All my family and dh family are totally against a HB. Most of my friends are too.
How can I decide what is best for me? Also what is your advice?
TIA!
It seems like a home birth would be a no brainer but I guess I am afraid of the worst. All the what ifs. I feel like even though I was at a hospital and had a horrible time what if something happened to the baby or me that could of been prevented at the hospital. Does any of this make sense? I have bad luck in general with anything to do with medical treatments procedures. All my family and dh family are totally against a HB. Most of my friends are too.
How can I decide what is best for me? Also what is your advice?
TIA!