Biggest Fear for birth and baby - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 42 Old 09-10-2009, 11:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am amazed how many of you share my fear of PPD. Some of you mentioned, that they lined up a counselor. What else have you done to prepare in case PPD hits?

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Originally Posted by anacaro View Post
My mom was notable to BF my sister and I because nobody supported her after c/s, and my mother in law didn't either.
There are wonderful lactation counselors out there nowadays, my hospital provides one for every birthing mom. Have you considered joining a LLL meeting before birth? People have suggested this to me, but I haven't gone yet.

Mom since Oct'09. Wife to a loving husband. Expecting a little bean in May'12

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#32 of 42 Old 09-10-2009, 01:19 PM
 
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This is a great thread because honestly I have not really voiced my fears at all, though they are definitely there. I think its time I let them out:
Right now I really really fear that the baby is not head down and will be/stay breech and I will end up sectioned. (yes I know thats irrational considering i"m only 32.5wks but still its there)
I worry about loving this child as much as I love DS1. I worry about taking attention away from DS1. I worry about how the heck I'm gonna handle 2 children and life when dealing with 1 is so difficult because I do most of it on my own.
I worry about the health of this child. I worry if I can handle pushing out a child naturally (didn't get a epidural with DS1 until 9cm and 30hrs into labor but still I didn't get to feel that ring of fire and I'll admit, I'm scared.) I worry if my marriage can handle the stress another child will undoubtedly bring. I worry this child will have the 24/7 colic and many other issues my son had. Definite minor concerns about pooping during labor.
Ugh....I'm worried about a lot I guess. But it feels good knowing I'm not the only one!
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#33 of 42 Old 09-10-2009, 10:26 PM
 
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I wouldn't call them true fears, but..

Birth: Tearing again and not feeling urge to push

Baby: Feeling overwhelmed with having two kiddos

Jesus-loving Doula/Birth Photographer Mama to Tor 4/2007, Zion 11/2009, Enoch 11/2011, and Zephyr due 12/13/2013

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#34 of 42 Old 09-11-2009, 09:40 AM
 
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Thanks for this thread and for the reassurance from so many of you already-moms.

I fear the baby will die shortly after birth and all of this dreaming, planning, pregnancy...will be for naught.

I fear the baby will end up with autism or some other PDD that there is no way to diagnose until later.

I fear PPD, too, but do have a counselor I could go to.

I fear the fluoxetine I have taken throughout my pregnancy for anxiety will make my baby very irritable (d/t withdrawal) and difficult to care for.

I fear I will not be able to breastfeed. I really want to.

I think a lot of us have the same fears!! And most of the time everything is just great!

Birthed a beautiful baby boy, Ethan, 11/11/09.
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#35 of 42 Old 09-11-2009, 10:42 AM
 
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I had DS, in an hospital, with an epidural. I'm having this baby in a birth center. I'm really afraid that I won't be able to take the pain, and since I had a good experience with the epidural I'll want to be transferred when I'm in the thick of it.

I'm also afraid of how DS is going to react not being the only child.

Kirsten, mama to Monkey since May 2007 and Bean born 11/7/09
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#36 of 42 Old 09-11-2009, 09:12 PM
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I have exactly one fear.

Perineal tearing. This is dangerous for me. I don't have a normal intestinal system, and I have a j-pouch instead of a large intestine. So tearing through would mean my artificial, surgically-created j-pouch would tear, and it can't be repaired.

And yet I'm planning a natural birth, and no, not in a hospital.
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#37 of 42 Old 09-12-2009, 10:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Noelle C. View Post
I have exactly one fear.

Perineal tearing. This is dangerous for me. I don't have a normal intestinal system, and I have a j-pouch instead of a large intestine. So tearing through would mean my artificial, surgically-created j-pouch would tear, and it can't be repaired.

And yet I'm planning a natural birth, and no, not in a hospital.
Then I think you'll have way less intervention and be way less likely to tear. I know a few people with j-pouches and it never occured to me how it would affect childbirth.

Mama to 4. winner.jpghomebirth.jpg
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#38 of 42 Old 09-12-2009, 10:42 AM
 
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I tore because my baby was breech. I'm told it wouldn't have happened if she'd been headfirst.

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

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#39 of 42 Old 09-12-2009, 10:54 AM
 
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A hospital transfer - for any reason.

With two natural out of hospital births under my belt, I know it is very unlikely... the thought of giving birth in a hospital is absolutely terrifying to me. I don't know where my children would go, what my family would do without me for 2-3 days... and the thought of all those people that I've never met before in my life having a hand in something so private... I just have to put my head in the sand on that one and not think about it, because it would become a huge mental block.

Dawn, mama to D (3.06) & N (9.07) C (11.09) & Still-in-shock surprise due in Aug!
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#40 of 42 Old 09-12-2009, 10:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Daisie125 View Post
A hospital transfer - for any reason.

With two natural out of hospital births under my belt, I know it is very unlikely... the thought of giving birth in a hospital is absolutely terrifying to me. I don't know where my children would go, what my family would do without me for 2-3 days... and the thought of all those people that I've never met before in my life having a hand in something so private... I just have to put my head in the sand on that one and not think about it, because it would become a huge mental block.
I'm right there with you on this. My biggest fear by FAR, is going to the hospital. I have nightmares about procedures done to me and my baby that I don't want to happen. I am utterly terrified of routine procedures and interventions. I don't want a bunch of strangers making decisions about me, staring into my crotch and managing my baby's birth and first few hours/days of life.

I'm trying to work on this though. It's hard. I've had bad experiences with the medical profession, from ineptitude to down right nearly killing me.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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#41 of 42 Old 09-14-2009, 01:21 PM
 
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When I really think about it, I have several anxieties about my impending labor/birth, but nothing really serious considering that I had an ideal birth center natural birth last time.

The thing that gets me is that I worry I am not making the best decisions for my children. Dd isn't vaxed and probably won't be for a long time, and I've gotten over the worst of the worry that decision brought with it simply because she's older now. Now, I have to worry all over again with a newborn and thats the part that makes parenting sooooo hard. I worry that I’m making a fateful decision in their lives when I choose not to vax them, but at the same time, I totally fear what these experimental drugs could be doing to our children that we know nothing about. In the end, it’s the latter fear that ends up overriding, but it doesn’t stop the worrying about the other.

I worry about not circumcising my son. I don’t plan on doing it, but at the same time, it’s soooo indoctrinated in me that I find myself teetering on the “what if I’m wrong” balance. It’s really the same thing with vaccines. When it comes to worry, you’re dam*ed if you do, dam*ed if you don’t.

It’s difficult when almost every decision you make for your child is so against the grain of society. It only helps a little bit that I have an advanced degree in Chemistry. Some people genuinely want to know what I know since they trust I must have done my research. Others simply write me off as “kooky” or “that I read too much” which is absurd.

All in all, I know that I am doing this for my children. I’d never hurt them. But sometimes if feels like so many people are accusing you of doing just that. In the end I stick to my guns, but the pressure is amazing sometimes and causes me to always wonder and worry.

Ph.D. Mama to Anaiah born 10/06/07 and Mathias born 11/14/09 and Wife to my cocoa puff DH.
My Cup Runs Over Daily!

www.becomingamommy.com

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#42 of 42 Old 09-14-2009, 05:45 PM
 
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to all of you Mommas!

I've already faced one fear: not having my labor coach with me. My DH has already proven himself to be of NO help with the first and I know that this time will be hard on him, as I'm hoping for a med-free birth. He stood at my head and stared at the wall when I was pushing with C, LOL! My labor coach was going to be one of my best friends. She'd been reading everything she could get her hands on, preparing herself, and recently found out that she has to undergo a second round of radiation to fight thyroid cancer right around my due date. The meds and the diet that she has to follow prior to treatment really wear her out, too, and I don't want her to feel like she's in any way obligated to do this with me. I want her take care of herself, first. I do have a WONDERFUL person that's stepped into her shoes, though, and I know that she'll do an outstanding job with supporting me through this! (She's a UCer!)

Other fears? That A will end up in the NICU, like C did. That was the worst feeling in the world, being told the *day* that we were supposed to go home that the were keeping my baby for observation. Another is that I'll give into the epidural. Having a c-section scares the crap out of me. And finally, that breastfeeding will be a disaster. I only nursed C for three or four months before I gave up, due to lack of support. Horrible LC in the hospital, horrible LC at the pediatrician's office, horrible advice from another staff member at the pediatrician's office. So, I'm hoping for the best (and planning on attending LLL this time)!

K: Wife to C, Momma to C (2/20/08) & A (11/7/09)!
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