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#61 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 04:35 PM
 
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My birth kit came today!!! The car seat will be here tomorrow and I just need to round up a few more loose ends (buy some new towels and some groceries to have on hand for the midwife, my mom, my dh and my 3 yr old.) I don't want to end up worrying about everyone else eating or making someone run out to buy me some cheese and crackers at the last minute.

Is anyone getting their midwife a gift? I would love to get her a little basket full of natural soaps and stuff but I'm so low on time and I'd have to order most of it online. Any ideas?!

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#62 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 04:56 PM
 
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Is anyone getting their midwife a gift? I would love to get her a little basket full of natural soaps and stuff but I'm so low on time and I'd have to order most of it online. Any ideas?!
I don't know, I'd really like too as well. But the problem is that there is my main MW, the assistant MW (a fully licensed professional MW), and 2 apprentices who will be attending the birth, so I'd feel really bad getting one a gift, but not all...so I'm thinking I'll gather stuff for the PP checkup? IDK, I've been thinking about this alot lately because I love giftgiving, but CANNOT afford to make the same gift for everyone! I was thinking a Dr. Bronner's bar of soap, some loose tea in a mason jar w/ a ribbon, etc.

I'd love some suggestions?

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#63 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 06:05 PM
 
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Is anyone getting their midwife a gift? I would love to get her a little basket full of natural soaps and stuff but I'm so low on time and I'd have to order most of it online. Any ideas?!
In her office my mw has one of those plaster casts of a baby's hand holding onto her finger. The mom brought the kit to one of the final post-partum visits and they did the cast then. It is really a beautiful gift!

I'm probably just going to give a tin of homemade christmas cookies and a card.

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#64 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 06:17 PM
 
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Is anyone getting their midwife a gift? I would love to get her a little basket full of natural soaps and stuff but I'm so low on time and I'd have to order most of it online. Any ideas?!
I would look around on etsy. Here's some of what I found with just a quick search for 'midwife'...
fertility goddess (pg lady) soaps here and here
earrings--estrogen molecular symbol and pregnant lady
necklaces--silver midwife, spiral birthing goddess, babe in utero, and another babe in utero (the second one is a little weird cuz there's a hand with it...)
knitted uterus
Or anything from Blessingway Beads

Official disclaimer, I don't know any of these people or own any of these shops!

Most people will ship priority, although you may have to request it. I've had lots of very good experiences on etsy though.

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#65 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 06:21 PM
 
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Oh, and in spite of ongoing hints that my body is thinking about going into labor, still no baby.
Mommy is cranky, my appetite is screwy (as though I were in labor), my hips hurt like there's nothign holding them in the sockets, and I keep wandering around chanting "down and out baby, down and out" (if the silly kid will just engage I should go pretty quick...mw says I'm very soft and i can feel it too).
Last night I had a dream that i went and got one of my crochet hooks and broke my water myself I admit it was a terribly tempting notion...unfortunately (or fortunately) the dream continued to a transfer because I'd poked the baby too and hurt him so not that I really would have, but post-dream I'm definitely not going to do something that crazy. Just gotta sit and wait it out...
Today (gestationally) was when I had my last kiddo, so I'm feeling 'overcooked' now, you know? I gotta get me some distractions.

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#66 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 06:33 PM
 
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I had my home visit today (I'm 38 weeks). She went ahead and did an internal check because she is planning on being out of town this Friday-Sunday. I am 3cm dilated, 40% effaced, Baby at +1 station. (last week I was 2cm, not effaced, baby not engaged at all). Yay for progress! My son keeps saying "Zion's coming on Wednesday." so maybe next week?

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#67 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 08:43 PM
 
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I'm sick over here, and pretty much miserable with it all - although I am thankful that it's now and not two or three weeks from now! I've told the baby it is not allowed to come until the 21st because my sister, niece and friend of mine have tickets to a New Moon special event on the 19th and 20th . Any time after that is fine.

We don't know the sex, but I had a dream last night that I went into labor and it was a boy and we couldn't figure out a name. Although I think that dream was influenced by the fact that one of my niece's gave birth to a boy yesterday!

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#68 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 10:19 PM
 
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I'm trying to figure out how to smooth some strain with the MIL over her not being invited to the actual birth (but instead a couple of hours later) when my mom will be here for the birth. Hubby is trying to understand, but he says I'm hurting MIL's feelings terribly and putting my family before his. But for one, my mom knows we are having a homebirth and is supportive of the decision, oh yeah, and she's my mother and pretty much my best friend and I am counting on her to be a huuuuuuge emotional support during the birth. My MIL does not know we are having a homebirth, and would not be very supportive of it, and I don't know her very well because she is "a very private person." It's kind of hard to know what the right thing to do is in this situation.

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#69 of 150 Old 11-04-2009, 11:03 PM
 
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Hubby and MIL need to get over themselves, is what the right thing to do is. Anyone who hasn't already seen you naked doesn't need to be starting now, IMO.

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I'm trying to figure out how to smooth some strain with the MIL over her not being invited to the actual birth (but instead a couple of hours later) when my mom will be here for the birth. Hubby is trying to understand, but he says I'm hurting MIL's feelings terribly and putting my family before his. But for one, my mom knows we are having a homebirth and is supportive of the decision, oh yeah, and she's my mother and pretty much my best friend and I am counting on her to be a huuuuuuge emotional support during the birth. My MIL does not know we are having a homebirth, and would not be very supportive of it, and I don't know her very well because she is "a very private person." It's kind of hard to know what the right thing to do is in this situation.

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#70 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 12:05 AM
 
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Oh, man. Since when is being at your birth a competition between the mothers? I've heard about this before and it drives me nuts. Yes, it's their grandchild equally. But most people don't have the relationship with their MIL that they do with their mother. I, for one, don't even want to have mine visit afterward. lol

About gifts for the midwife. I didn't do this with either of my other pregnancies and won't this time. Looking at it as someone who works in the birthing field, I never ever expect anything and honestly would feel strange about accepting a gift. The best gifts I've gotten have been photos and birth announcements. I know people who've done it and more power to them if that's what they want to do. I just never found it necessary.
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#71 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 12:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My MIL does not know we are having a homebirth, and would not be very supportive of it, and I don't know her very well because she is "a very private person."
The answer may be to tell her you're having a hb, she may choose to exclude herself if she knows that's coming?!

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#72 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 12:54 AM
 
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About gifts for the midwife. I didn't do this with either of my other pregnancies and won't this time. Looking at it as someone who works in the birthing field, I never ever expect anything and honestly would feel strange about accepting a gift. The best gifts I've gotten have been photos and birth announcements. I know people who've done it and more power to them if that's what they want to do. I just never found it necessary.
Well, it seems my mw gets a ton of gifts, the exam room in her home is lined with statuettes and photos and paintings. I gave her a gift for last baby's birth and she was pretty blase about it.

I noticed she talked a lot about another client's Thank You card and it seemed that meant more to her than a lot of the nick knacks, so I am going to go that route and give her a heartfelt note after the birth (maybe at the 2 week visit), and a photo of her holding the baby and an announcement, with her name on the bottom--I did that last time and she was touched, said no one ever announced her before along with the baby and family. Of course, why not? Seems quite fitting to me!

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#73 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 04:01 PM
 
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I'm trying to figure out how to smooth some strain with the MIL over her not being invited to the actual birth (but instead a couple of hours later) when my mom will be here for the birth. Hubby is trying to understand, but he says I'm hurting MIL's feelings terribly and putting my family before his. But for one, my mom knows we are having a homebirth and is supportive of the decision, oh yeah, and she's my mother and pretty much my best friend and I am counting on her to be a huuuuuuge emotional support during the birth. My MIL does not know we are having a homebirth, and would not be very supportive of it, and I don't know her very well because she is "a very private person." It's kind of hard to know what the right thing to do is in this situation.
Feelin' ya on this one, mama. Went through similar stuff with MIL when dd #2 and ds were born. Not so much this time, but it's probably because she knows the answer already. For me, personally, it's fight or flight. I feel so very vulnerable when I'm pregnant, and I cannot abide the thought/feeling of being unsafe. And my MIL makes me feel so unsafe that it's not even funny. Like I should have on a crash helmet when I'm around her. And possibly a life jacket should I start to drown in the huge pool of crocodile tears that she is inevitably crying.

Anyway, there is absolutely no way I want her anywhere near me until this baby is born. And preferably several days old. So claim fight or flight and tell dh that only your mom and him make you feel safe enough to have this baby. Good luck and I hope MIL's panties come unwadded in time for her to act right after the baby is born!

Perdita, wife to J, mom to Bridget (6), Ivy (4) Trace (2) and Fiona, my 3rd vbac baby, born 12/2/09!
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#74 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 04:14 PM
 
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Well, as an update to the MIL stuff -- hubby had a long talk with her on the phone last night. And her feelings are still hurt and she still feels like it isn't right that my family gets shown "preference" -- and evidently the wedding was mentioned, as well. We had planned a very tiny, low-budget, intimate, outside wedding (for which I wore a home-made dress and was barefoot...), and when my MIL tried to offer very glitzy suggestions, we had to keep reminding her of our vision for the wedding. Evidently this is still a sore spot. And now I'm being the mean (and weird) DIL by requesting that I have 2-3 hours after the birth to rest a bit, bond with the baby, and get cleaned up.
I think my husband's family thinks I was one weird hippy.


In other news, I have absolutely zero signs of labor. None. A couple BH here or there. Some pubic bone discomfort. Edema. But no labor signs. I'm trying not to be bothered by it, but since I was induced with my first, there is this horrible nagging annoying insecure part of me waaaay back in my mind that is afraid I can't go into labor naturally on my own. Which is silly. I know.

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#75 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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In other news, I have absolutely zero signs of labor. None. A couple BH here or there. Some pubic bone discomfort. Edema. But no labor signs. I'm trying not to be bothered by it, but since I was induced with my first, there is this horrible nagging annoying insecure part of me waaaay back in my mind that is afraid I can't go into labor naturally on my own. Which is silly. I know.
I'm sorry about your MIL situation. You really do have to just put your needs first in this situation though. I have several friends who are overtly hinting that they want to be at my HBAC, but no way, no how am I going to invite people just so I won't hurt their feelings when it would make me feel totally awkward. I think a pp summed it up nicely, if they haven't already seen you naked then your baby's birth should not be the first time!

Re your labor beginning, I was where you were a week ago, and today I think I'm definitely headed in the direction of real labor! Maybe not today, but since I'm having some decent contractions, at least I know my uterus knows how to contract! Yours will come mamma!

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#76 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 07:42 PM
 
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Saw the mw this morning and asked for an internal again (after several hours of fairly regular if slow ctx last night)...all the official stats are teh same: 1cm, not effaced at all, very soft, baby at -2...(I swear he'd come down from there, I'm waddling so bad this morning!!) HOWEVER, she says I just look done--which I guess I didn't last week. (Kinda like looking at the cookies to see if they're baked, whether or not the timer has gone off?) So even though we did make an appointment for me for next week, neither she nor I really expects me to make it till then. I have 6days till EDD, so anytime is good (last baby came at 39+1...) I'm ready for this kiddo. I keep telling him "down and out, down and out" and telling myself "down and open, down and open" (which apparently neither one has really had any effect yet, as I'm still not open and he's not down...but sooner or later the positive affirmations will get through, right?!)

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#77 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 08:10 PM
 
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I'm with you on the positive affirmations!

And speaking of mental suggestions, I was half thinking of listening to the last and "off-limits" hypnobabies cd, just to psych myself into labor.

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#78 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 08:30 PM
 
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And now I'm being the mean (and weird) DIL by requesting that I have 2-3 hours after the birth to rest a bit, bond with the baby, and get cleaned up.
YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MIL'S FEELINGS!!!!!!!! You are the birthing mama and what you say, goes. There are few situations in which it really, really is ALL ABOUT YOU. This is one of them.

In other news, I don't plan on getting gifts for our midwives, but I am thinking of getting extra-nice snacky foods for them while they're taking care of me. Stuff like almonds and organic Greek yogurt and other stuff we wouldn't spend the money on for ourselves.

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#79 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 08:53 PM
 
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Well, as an update to the MIL stuff -- hubby had a long talk with her on the phone last night. And her feelings are still hurt and she still feels like it isn't right that my family gets shown "preference" -- and evidently the wedding was mentioned, as well. We had planned a very tiny, low-budget, intimate, outside wedding (for which I wore a home-made dress and was barefoot...), and when my MIL tried to offer very glitzy suggestions, we had to keep reminding her of our vision for the wedding. Evidently this is still a sore spot. And now I'm being the mean (and weird) DIL by requesting that I have 2-3 hours after the birth to rest a bit, bond with the baby, and get cleaned up.
I think my husband's family thinks I was one weird hippy.

Ugh! and

Don't give in to her, she is having an adult-sized tantrum.
She's having to learn the hard way that other ppl have their healthy boundaries and her desires won't always be fulfilled;
I can guess most ppl she has met or who she is related to have eventually caved to her and her demands and now she has learned that this is a way to get what she wants.

Only now, she has come up against you!
Good for you for staying true to what is best for you at this time!
Sorry you are the one she has to "re-learn on" Be strong!
It's her turn to learn to be an adult and respect someone else's needs.

(Maybe there is something else she could do to be involved, though? Something that might make her feel really important that still maintains the space you need? Work up something and make sure DH says something about it being something that no one else has done--hehe, or something your own mother wanted to do but that you two saved JUST FOR HER, bwah, haha, but is SUPER important and this is her chance to really shine and then butter her up about it afterwards. I would have fun with her ,
I dunno, kind of a hard one to judge from here, you know best...)

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#80 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 10:48 PM
 
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ED.. You are awesome for keeping your boundaries. It has been very hard for me to do so with my Mom, but she has come around and excepted the situation quite well at this point. Just took some time. I think its good your mil voices her opinion, she could be passive aggressive like she did with the wedding and then take it out on you and your dh later. Like what greenthumb said, My gf gave me some good advise early on with my Mom and suggested I ask her to take some time off work in 3ish months when I go back to work. When DH and I need an extra hand for the transition. The baby is easier to bond with then and she will actually get a few hours at a time with the LO. That way she can be here when we really need her. Maybe something like that will work. IMO she'll get over it, and in time she will love and respect the hippy in you... well if not its her loss...

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#81 of 150 Old 11-05-2009, 11:24 PM
 
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thanks for your supportive words, mamas. I was starting to feel like I really was being weird and unfair there for a second. And giving MIL a special "job" sounds fantastic! I will think about it and see if we can come up with something that would actually make her happy (she's big on choosing her own role in situations, I've found). Maybe if I bring this up with hubby he'll see that I really am trying to breech the rift. (while still maintaining my personal boundaries).

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#82 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 10:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It's only the 6th and I can't believe how many babies are here already!

Not mine, of course. I am only 37+4. I am still hoping for next week. I am thinking of "quitting" my OB now that I'm 'charted' with a GBS test result (I'm going to call later to see what it was). I may *lie* and give the sick kid routine to cancel my next appt.

I'll be seeing my hb mw next week so doing 2 appts a week isn't something I'm interested in.

I went to the wholesale club yesterday and bought a bunch of frozen convenience foods for after the baby comes. Frozen pizza, meatballs, etc. And of course a big case of whole fruit popsicles!

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#83 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 10:40 AM
 
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I went to the wholesale club yesterday and bought a bunch of frozen convenience foods for after the baby comes. Frozen pizza, meatballs, etc. And of course a big case of whole fruit popsicles!
Yum!! Great idea! I might ask someone to go to the store for me and pick up similar items. The thought of facing a grocery store is daunting. I seem to be experience a mild case of agoraphobia these last few days.

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#84 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 11:53 AM
 
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I went on a total cleaning spree yesterday. My mom was convinced this meant I was having the baby last night. Nope, I just wanted my house in order. If baby isn't here by this weekend, I'm scrubbing the kitchen floor.

I feel like crap. I've had a cold for a few days and this seems to be the worst of it. I'm still having nightly contractions, too, so I'm not getting a ton of sleep. I'm grouchy. I also wonder if my immune system being down is effecting going into full on labor. I wonder if my body is going to wait until I'm back to normal. I've been having weekly massages which has been helping somewhat with the aches and pains, but there's a certain point where you're just so pregnant NOTHING is comfortable.

I'm 39+1 and sick of being pregnant but I think I can be patient a while longer. Three weeks of this does seem a little horrible, but one day at a time...
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#85 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 11:54 AM
 
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I really, really want a popsicle.
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#86 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 01:00 PM
 
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I had my home visit yesterday. Wow this is so close!! I think it really hit dh that this baby is coming. Ds got a bit cranky when my midwife was ready to measure me and all that. Dh had to take him downstairs to play and have a snack, thankfully he pulled it together and didn't throw an all out fit. But it made us re-think really needing a plan B for him. Plan A is for my best friend/his auntie be here with him, but she is a nurse and if she's working she won't be able to come. So I'm thinking of asking my neighbor if she'd watch him if he needs to leave the house.

But otherwise everything looks good. My GBS test came back negative. Baby definitely dropped, which I was pretty sure of. I finally got to meet my midwive's assistant. It would be nice to see her again before the birth, but I don't think that will happen.

I got the last of my supplies from my midwife and so I think I'm good to go. Going to keep feeding the freezer a little at a time, as long as I've got time and keep the house clean.
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#87 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 01:46 PM
 
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I really, really want a popsicle.

, , , and
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#88 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 02:06 PM
 
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I know there was a thread on this a while back, but just wanted to know what you HB mamas are doing to prepare for the birth? Teas? Perineal Massage? Yoga? Poses? Squats? walking, meditation? Need some ideas so that I can relax a bit I think!!
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#89 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 02:39 PM
 
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mmmm, popscicles... (and it's here and they still sound good!!)

so, yesterday afternoon = lots of contractions (including some pretty hefty ones).
then I put the kids to bed
then no more ctx.


I've decided to distract myself by working on starting up a breastfeeding support group here. There isn't an LLL chapter within 90 miles, and while the ladies at the WIC office plus a couple of nurse-midwives are nice and helpful, I think it would be really beneficial for the mamas here to have a mama-based group for ongoing support, not just emergency help. I know at least two other mamas who are interested, and I'm going to make some calls today and see how hard it will be to find a meeting place and stuff. Gotta do SOMEthing to keep me busy, right?!

~Jenni, rural frugal Alaskan, eternally married to Dragon
loving my wild things DS Wolf (12), 3 angels, DS Bear (6) & DS Eagle (3)
 

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#90 of 150 Old 11-06-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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mmmm, popscicles... (and it's here and they still sound good!!)

so, yesterday afternoon = lots of contractions (including some pretty hefty ones).
then I put the kids to bed
then no more ctx.


I've decided to distract myself by working on starting up a breastfeeding support group here. There isn't an LLL chapter within 90 miles, and while the ladies at the WIC office plus a couple of nurse-midwives are nice and helpful, I think it would be really beneficial for the mamas here to have a mama-based group for ongoing support, not just emergency help. I know at least two other mamas who are interested, and I'm going to make some calls today and see how hard it will be to find a meeting place and stuff. Gotta do SOMEthing to keep me busy, right?!
I want to do the same thing in my area! I think the closest LLL is about 2 hours from here and the area itself is not BF friendly or focused.

I just started working with a group of local people who are interested in animal welfare so we're in the midst of applying for 501c3 status and amending bylaws, etc...

It's a decent distraction but I need/want more.

Am I the only one with no names at all?! I have a few that I like, but I just don't feel pulled toward any specific names until we meet this one. (and we don't know gender so I need to come up with both).

My house is also a complete DISASTER. I desperately want it to be clean but I don't have the energy or patience to tackle it. I want to make dh a list, let him get it started and go behind him to take care of the details he'll inevitably miss (baseboards, under beds, etc...)

I sooooo hope this birth comes soon. I had a leak of fluid today but no pop and not enough to soak through my underwear so I'm assuming it was just some abundant discharge. Come on baby...pleeeeease. I am SO ready to meet you.

Carolina, tree hugging, treehugger.gif animal loving, backyard chicken keeping, Wife to Dh, homeschooling Mama to Ds1(Aug '06) and Ds2 (Nov '09)

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