Sorry for the rant ladies: My edd is in SIX DAYS! It's not so much the logistics of baby-care that are bothering me. I think it's more how the family dynamic is going to change. Ds is going to be a great big brother, I know, but he's already showing signs of regressing to his 4 yo self and acting out. His school doesn't recognize this as regression, since he's new there, so I'm in there "at bat" for him again, defending him when I know I'm being judged as the mom who believes her kid can do no wrong (not true!) and defends his every action. Meanwhile, he's pushing every single one of my buttons, and I find myself losing my temper, crying, or getting on his case, which is totally counter-productive when what he really needs is more love and reassurance. So I already feel like a failure to one child - how the heck am I going to be able to mother two well? Then, ds says to me, "Why does Papa always do the dishes and not you?" and I burst into tears because I do SO much that I feel is just not recognized by him or others (granted, not a 5 year old's responsibility to recognize what I do for the family - it's just me being irrational).
And I try hard to help him adapt to the change gently without pressure, not over-talking the changes, but not ignoring them. Focussing on the positives. But what is with others??? I know they are all well-meaning, but really! "You're going to be a big brother. You need to start being more responsible." "You're going to have to help mom out." "Your baby sister is going to be here in a few days. Everything is going to be different!" Geez - could they put more pressure on a child for something he had no say in?? I may be in the minority, but dh and I made this decision independently of him and I don't believe it be his responsibility to be my helper or 'grow up' more because of it (it'd be great if that's the role he takes, but it's not his responsibility). And what person wants to hear how their whole life is going to change or be totally excited about the arrival of someone they can't even conceptualize? It freaks me out, and I'm the mother! Why wouldn't it freak out a little kid who can't understand and articulate his feelings?
I'm just praying that I'm able to come to terms with some of this stuff before baby arrives, so that I'm a more peaceful, relaxed mama when she's here - for all of our sakes!