I just don't feel ready - Update anyone still here with me? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 11-08-2009, 12:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This end of pregnancy has been so different for me.
I am now 38.4 and I have no feelings of wanting to be done or wishing it would hurry up.

I am definatly uncomfortable but not experiencing anything worse than the last couple of months. No swollen ankles and feet like the other 2 times at this point. If I didn't know better I would think my dates were off( Possible with my other 2 but not this time). My MW also thinks that he is about a pound less than my DS was born at.


At this point I would be quite pleased to have a 41-42 weeker.
I don't feel like he is done cooking yet.
I have everything finally prepeared for him to come and I feel better most days than I have felt for most of my pregnancy.
Anyone else feel like this, or am I the only loonie

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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#2 of 22 Old 11-08-2009, 12:35 AM
 
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I was RIGHT where you are a week ago (today is my edd). During this past week, something changed a bit and I suddenly started feeling more ready. Today, I'm a little anxious that she hasn't made her appearance only because I don't want them to start talking induction at Monday's appt., but if there weren't worry of baby getting larger, then I'd probably still be satisfied with her where she is. I still look at this as "the easy part." Hope you start feeling more ready soon, too!
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#3 of 22 Old 11-08-2009, 12:46 AM
 
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I'm right there with you! I'm also at 38.5 weeks, and I feel like I still have things I need to do, I want to spend all those extra minutes with DD #1, and I'm not terribly uncomfortable (unlike last time, when DD was facing the wrong way and giving me a terrible back-ache). Here's hoping I get at least another 10 days!
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#4 of 22 Old 11-08-2009, 01:07 AM
 
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You know, it's funny...I'm 41 weeks now and was just flipping out all week waiting!
Today I have had a very long period of hard contractions at regular times. Now they stopped but anyway, when I was thinking, It's time!! I got excited but then suddenly thought omg, it's going to be over. I know I'll never be pregnant again, etc...
So I'm kind of hoping to go till at least tomorrow afternoon because I suddenly have a whole bunch of things I want to do but I'm too tired to do them tonight!

Deb

Deb, Mom to Madeleine 8/2005 and Maia 11/2009 Nick: and Chris
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#5 of 22 Old 11-08-2009, 01:47 AM
 
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Yeah, I can say I don't feel quite "ready" yet either. My EDD is the 25th, so I have about 2 weeks at least till then. Part of me wants baby to come by her EDD, part of me wants to have her the week after, in December.

My heart is turning toward her, and tonight I said to myself, "Our daughter will be joining our family soon", which felt more natural than before. It just seemed so strange that the dynamics we have going on in our little family will change, and part of me feels unprepared for that change, yk? I think I am slowly growing more accepting, and it may take me a few days after she is born to sink in, too. (I feel ok with that)

I have been amazed at how much energy and motivation I have had the past two-three weeks, (and that I am not TOO uncomfortable) as I think how tired and depressed I was for this pregnancy, I thought for sure I'd be even tired-er at the end. Who'd have thought?

Glad I feel this good for having a 4th baby BUT I feel my motivation starting to draw to a close and as she drops lower in my pelvis, I am starting to think next week I will feel differently, like , wanting her to be here and being done waddling.

I am always amazed by nature; I can go from the beginning of pregnancy when I think "I have to go through labor and pushing a baby out and healing post partum AGAIN? " to the last few weeks of "PLEASE start, Labor, I can't WAIT to push this baby out! C'Mon contractions!!! The stronger and longer, the better"

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#6 of 22 Old 11-08-2009, 03:23 AM
 
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I'm actually willing my baby to wait until November 18th. While I realize this is likely to Murphy's Law me into labor, oh, the 8th, I also feel like if I stay stressed out enough, she just plain won't want to come out yet. So yeah, I feel you on the not ready to be done yet. In fact, I really don't at all understand women who DO want to be done, and I've been kind of staying away from the boards because I'm just not ready to cross the mommy line yet.

(I'm so afraid to hit Submit Reply because I'm afraid I will instantly be struck with labor )

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#7 of 22 Old 11-08-2009, 10:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So glad to now I am not the only one who feels like this.
I was begining to feel like I was the only one feeling that way reading other posts about wanting babies to come.

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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#8 of 22 Old 11-09-2009, 12:05 AM
 
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I have felt the same way... almost like cold feet. Like when we were trying for this baby I didn't think about this part. I have been setting aside time to really enjoy time with DS and cherish our last few weeks one on one, then after he goes to bed, really spending time talking to the babe. This seems to help making the connection and amping up the excitement to see him/her. It is hard, because this IS the easy part. But not necessarily the best part. A few things I remind myself of almost daily are:
*Parenting, starting at conception, is a long process of letting go of control of your child.
*Many things are not up to you, like when your baby comes.
*Even if you have done all of the things you can possibly do to get ready for baby, you won't really ever be ready, and that's OK because you'll do it anyway and your baby will love you.
*Even if you haven't done anything to get ready, that's ok, because the baby really only needs it's mama and everything else is bonus creature comforts.

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#9 of 22 Old 11-10-2009, 11:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone still here with me, not wanting labor?
39 weeks today and had a MW appointment.
I can't help but feel disappointed. I saw my one of the partners in my team of 2 today that is very nice but I don't quite feel like I click with as well as the other. I havn't really seen her as much and don't know her as well to be honest. I also saw another who I think is another MW in the practice.
One of the first things she said to me is that next week they would start strech and sweeps. I said that I had them multiple times with DS and DD and they didn't do a thing beside make me cramp and start contractions that would peter out and frustrate me. They still came on thier own schedule.

I don't have any intention of doing anything out of the ordinary to start labor until I am at the point of no longer being able to HB. (42 weeks)

Then the other one came in and suggested that if I was having any kind of contractions at all that I call them and they would come check my dilation. I told her that that didn't make any difference last time. I had contractions for hours that produced no change they coould measure. Then I slept all night woke up was 7 cm and crowning 2 minutes later.
Then she said that they had a Mom like me who had a very fast labor last time who was dissapointed she made slow progress this time. She said they broke her water and 20 minutes later the baby was there.
That is the absloulte last thing I want is AROM unless there was a reason to need to get him out quickly.

I guess it really solidified for me that I don't want to be checked/steched/swept unless I ask to be because it really hasn't ment anything for me.
It just leads to dissapointment when you are not as dialated as you think you should be or bad information like don't push at 7 cm which obviously was exactly what my body needed to do

I am so frustrated again.

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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#10 of 22 Old 11-10-2009, 11:40 PM
 
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I'm "eh." Not super anxious to give birth, not super anxious not to. I AM tired of the looks and comments I get from other people. And I know I would not like it if my midwives were pushing me to do things to hurry up.

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#11 of 22 Old 11-10-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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I am not so ready either! I'm 38+4 weeks, and I wanted the baby to come by Nov.11. But now, I still have way too much work to finish, and customers are calling all the time.....so I have been working myself ragged trying to get everything finished.
I feel a little guilty, like I am putting work ahead of the baby. I want to have more work finished before s/he gets here. At least while s/he is still inside, I can work, you know?
But on the other hand, I am so excited to get to meet the little baby. A little apprehensive about labor, like when will it happen, and will we make it to the birth center on time? A lot of unknowns. So at the moment, it feels better to still be pregnant. On one hand, I want to see this baby soon, but on the other, I can wait a few more weeks!

 
 
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#12 of 22 Old 11-10-2009, 11:55 PM
 
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I'm definitely prepared (and hoping) to wait a while longer. While everything that is an absolute MUST is in place, there is still a lot of stuff on my list of things that I'd like to make/do/have happen before baby comes. Actually, I was telling DH the other day that while I'm more than ready to be done being pregnant, I'm not really feeling ready to have another baby yet. If only humans gave birth to eggs ... I could quit being pregnant now, then in a few weeks, baby would hatch.

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
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#13 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 12:10 AM
 
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hehe an egg ya i could birht that Easly LOL

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#14 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 12:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by notjustmamie View Post
If only humans gave birth to eggs ... I could quit being pregnant now, then in a few weeks, baby would hatch.

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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#15 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 12:52 AM
 
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mommyto2babes: if you don't want to know, don't take off your pants! you're fine and you know your baby will come in his/her own due time.

Quote:
Then I slept all night woke up was 7 cm and crowning 2 minutes later.
I wouldn't be surprised if you were really at 10cm and whoever checked you was just wrong.

Stinkerton 12/10/01 9lbs8oz, induced to c/s; Little Man 5/20/03 7lbs11oz, r c/s, fear of another labor; Jillybean 11/18/07 10lbs8oz 37cm head, induced VBA2C; and the Wee Beastie, 9lbs8oz, 35cm head, rpt VBA2C
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#16 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 12:53 AM
 
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I have no delusions of readiness!

Stinkerton 12/10/01 9lbs8oz, induced to c/s; Little Man 5/20/03 7lbs11oz, r c/s, fear of another labor; Jillybean 11/18/07 10lbs8oz 37cm head, induced VBA2C; and the Wee Beastie, 9lbs8oz, 35cm head, rpt VBA2C
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#17 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 01:02 AM
 
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Your midwives attitudes would piss me off and I'd be unhappy as well. I'm going on 38 weeks and am not anxious or looking for labor at all. I don't know, I just don't think that I'm mentally prepared this time at all. We also have a few last minute things that we have to buy but need one more paycheck for, so that probably adds into it. I'm physically uncomfy, so maybe my body is done, but definitely my mind is not there. My last two were born at 40 and 41 weeks, though, so I'm not expecting labor anytime soon.

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#18 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 02:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mommy2two babes View Post
At this point I would be quite pleased to have a 41-42 weeker.
I don't feel like he is done cooking yet.
I have everything finally prepeared for him to come and I feel better most days than I have felt for most of my pregnancy.
Anyone else feel like this, or am I the only loonie
Seriously, I'm totally with you. To the point where I'm sort of avoiding MDC right now because I'm just so opposite of all the "OMG GET THIS THING OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!" and I can't at all relate. Today was my due date. Everyone I know is like "WOW! I can't believe you're still pregnant!" to which I reply "Why? The average for first time moms is 41w3d...which isn't until the 20th."

I guess I feel very fortunate that I'm not in so much pain or discomfort that I want her out, but I'm having an awfully hard time figuring out why everyone else wants her here already. Seriously, I don't get it. Apparently I dropped b/c I measured 2cm less this week, but I totally can't tell. She'll get here when she gets here.

ETA: I've been saying humans should just lay eggs for 9 1/2 months now.

:yawning 33yo first-time solo mama to DD born 11/21/09
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#19 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 10:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mamatolevi View Post
mommyto2babes: if you don't want to know, don't take off your pants! you're fine and you know your baby will come in his/her own due time.

I definatly wont be.

I wouldn't be surprised if you were really at 10cm and whoever checked you was just wrong.
She was telling me not to push and to get into the tub because I was only 7. Then when he was crowning she drained the tub as I was pushing
I figure it is mostly subjective and I would rather listen to my body.


Quote:
Originally Posted by vegasgrl View Post
Seriously, I'm totally with you. To the point where I'm sort of avoiding MDC right now because I'm just so opposite of all the "OMG GET THIS THING OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!" and I can't at all relate. Today was my due date. Everyone I know is like "WOW! I can't believe you're still pregnant!" to which I reply "Why? The average for first time moms is 41w3d...which isn't until the 20th."

I guess I feel very fortunate that I'm not in so much pain or discomfort that I want her out, but I'm having an awfully hard time figuring out why everyone else wants her here already. Seriously, I don't get it. Apparently I dropped b/c I measured 2cm less this week, but I totally can't tell. She'll get here when she gets here.

ETA: I've been saying humans should just lay eggs for 9 1/2 months now.
Please don't avoid MDC. We need to stick together

I remember going into our local cellular store on my due date with DD.
The poor guy behind the counter looked at me like I was a ticking time bomb who was going to drop a baby on his floor at any moment

I don't understand why anyone else would want him out either.
I mean I have normal late pregnancy discomforts but I feel better these last couple of weeks energy wise ( even having a sinus infection) than I have my entire pregnancy. I have said this a couple of times and I am definantly not complaining about any pregnancy discomforts.

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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#20 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 11:09 AM
 
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TBH I was in the "impatient club" the last 2 weeks, but yesterday had a great appointment with one of the midwives in the practice, and thankfully, she is very low intervention (not all of them are) She did ask about induction, but I think mostly because she is accustomed to mothers asking her to be induced, and seemed very happy that I didn't want any sort of chemical induction. I said, if we can, I wouldn't mind trying a sweep, but as I'm only 1 cm and 50 % effaced this would be both very uncomfortable and probably ineffective. so we said we could wait. The baby is obviously quite comfy and cozy, so we will let him be. It's the most at peace I've felt since I was 37 weeks, really.

Talking of energy! I am feeling much better than I have, and have even, to my suprise, been sleeping better the last few days. Go figure. I'm glad this little guy is letting me rest up before the big day. I was worried there for a bit that I would be too exhausted to be able to labor naturally.

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#21 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 01:32 PM
 
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I read this yesterday after (another) day of cramps and thought, nope-- I am READY. With my other PGs, cramps = birth of baby in 8 hours or less . . .this time, I've had days of cramps (and I am dilating) with well, no baby!

My other girls were all at least 9 days early, and the last one was a full 14 days early. Now, according to my due date, I'm not late, but I'm past where I ever have gotten. However, in the past, I knew my exact dates, inc. the date of ovulation, so I was 100% sure.

This baby was a complete surprise (no real clue about the dates), so this morning, I realized that I could be off by as much as a week, and you know what? Now I am not so anxious. Now I am not at that point of being "done" just by thinking I might be earlier than I thought. Pretty ridiculous, I know, to be so fixated on that type of thing!

I am so busy now . . .I am a SAHM with my 3 girls. The oldest is 7 (homeschooled). When this baby is born, I will have 3 girls ages 4 and under. Ahhh! Last month I started a new job, working from home (online) in the evenings, so I am with the kids all day, and then work until midnight or 1 a.m. on my job. I am focusing on being thrilled that this baby is giving me a break, because no matter how uncomfortable I am now, I know it will be a gazillion times harder once the baby is born. And like most of us, of course, I have no help. I am just counting my blessings to even have someone to watch my girls when DH takes me to the hospital! (I would so have loved a homebirth, even for this reason alone!)

So, yes, let us sit back and enjoy these last days and weeks!

 2/02, 4/05, 2/07, 11/09, and EDD 12/25/11 wave.gif

 

 

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#22 of 22 Old 11-11-2009, 02:33 PM
 
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I'm perfectly happy waiting another week or two. I'm 38 weeks and 1 day. Ds came at 40 w 5 d though, so I know it possibly could be longer. I'm not too thrilled about the idea of going past my EDD, but I definitely feel like I could wait a little longer. I'm not too uncomfortable and sleeping okay, minus some sinus stuff this week. Everything is prepped for baby, I don't really have much I could do except prep some food. I think I just need to mentally get my head around the fact that we will have a new baby in the house and in our family!
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