I know it's a bit early, but I'm curious how everyone is doing.
We're doing very well. Julia is 1 month today. My breasts are still a bit achy but nothing to write home about.
She generally goes to bed between 10 and 11 and sleeps til about 3 or 4. Then I see her again about 6 or 7. She is really sweet and I'm learning how to get things done around the house with 4 kids at home (Christmas break).
I am really glad I have breastfeeding to help us stay a bit connected during the holidays. When we're at events and she's being passed around and enjoyed by others, there's always the time we have to nurse and reconnect a bit.
I still need to write her birth story. I feel like I finally "can". I didn't have a traumatic birth but it was very painful and I just couldn't "talk" about it before...
What's up with everyone else?
our little one is almost 2 months here. he has grown out of newborn clothes, getting very snug in 0-3 month stuff. he has me pretty exhausted, his sleep patterns change constantly so there is no telling when it might turn; i have went through daytime schedules to being a night owl, and i have to say it's everything but any definition or similarity of fun. DH got sick then passed it to me 2 days ago, i think yesterday was the peak of my cold because today i feel slightly better, LO isn't showing signs of coming down with it yet, but we have an appointment just right around the corner for him so that's good. last visit he was nearly 9lbs and 20 1/2 inches long i believe(sickness has me totally fogged right now). this is all i can come up with right now.
That reminds me, I need to compile all the stuff I wrote for annabelle's birth and put it into a cohesive birth story.
We're doing pretty well here. feel like I've mostly adjusted from going from one offspring to two. It is hard for me to get much of anything done. The boy is a bit special needs and we are going through some issues with him and his health/behavior, so there are defintely days when I feel so pulled between the two of them. Again, I don'tknow how moms of many do it.
I'm still struggling with milk supply issues. There are days when all seems well and babe looks and acts good, and I can seem to keep up with her, and then right after I get comfortable it seems my supply dips and she is fussy all day and I can't manage to squeeze out a single drop. it's incredibly frustrating. Especially when I have all these family members commenting on my noticeably skinny baby. I compared her six week picture with my son's six week picture and was astounded. He looks plump , and she looks like skin and bones. We've had to give her formula a couple of different times, and it upsets her tummy so badly, and she has stinky, painful gas for about three days after she has it; it also makes her awfully cranky. I'm just trying to stay up with taking all the milk supply tinctures and teas and keep up with pumping.
Daffodil, your daughter is so beautiful! I would ask your MW or pedi their opinion about her weight and ignore family members. As I've learned the hard way, babies can be soo different! DD was the rolly-polly at this stage and DS is just average. It's also very difficult to remind myself to eat/drink enough for DS's milk when I'm trying to meet everyone elses demands! Just remember to take care of yourself too!
Besides that, we are doing ok. DS was 12 lbs 6 oz at our last MW appt yesterday- that's almost exactly an ounce per day which is good. I was so worried he wasn't gaining period though because of his spitting up and projectile vomiting. His latch is improving after the tougue-tie clip, but he still takes in a ton of air, thus the spitting up.
He sleeps well most of the time (a STARK contrast to DD who ate every 30 min-1 hour). We usually go to sleep around 11pm and he eats every 3 hours or so until 1:30pm the next day. I'm trying to convince myself to get up earlier to get some stuff done, but so far I can't seem to get outta bed until 11am! Last night he slept two 5 hour blocks so today I'm feeling great!
I'm sorta thinking about really trying to lose weight (my new years resolution, if you will ) but I'm worried about DS's milk supply. With DD, I had a dramatic drop in supply around this time when I started working out and cutting carbs, so I'm going to try to wait until 4-5 months but it will be hard looking at this jellyroll of a stomach until then!
It's great to read the updates!
DS is a month old now. Not sure what he weighs, but he's got a double chin already!! (probably around 10-11lbs) He's wearing 3 month clothing.
He is such a lovely baby, we are both really enjoying him! He is so laid back and sleeps so well at night, a wet bum doesn't even wake him up. He nurses like a fiend through the early evening though, so he's storing up!
I took a while to feel 100%, but I'm there finally. I'm still so high from the VBAC...it all seems like a wonderful dream though. Like another thread started, I kinda miss being pregnant. We know that we only want 2 children, but I'm still feeling nostalgia for the big belly and that wonderful feeling of having a baby inside me! It's probably the hormones talking (still).
I get very emotional looking at him sometimes. I feel like since he's my VBAC baby, he and I were a special team to achieve something they all told me was impossible. I hope this doesn't transfer onto my older DS, that this new one and I have a special bond. I bonded just fine with DS1, even though he was an unnecessary c-section, but this baby just makes my heart burst! (ok, more hormones talking!!)
I'm still nursing DS1, which makes for a few challenges. I was prepared that his nursing would likely ramp up once baby came and he saw how much time I was spending doing that. It's ok and I expect it to wane a bit, back to once a day.
We're doing pretty well here. Ds is 1 month old as of Christmas Eve and starting to really chunk up. I realized yesterday he had a big growth spurt b/c he can't wear any newborn clothes, his 0-3mos are all kind of short on him, and he outgrew the size small kiddopotamus swaddle blanket. Luckily we have and prefer the Miracle Blanket which he won't outgrow for a very long time. I weighed him here at home and I think he's just shy of 12 pounds now.
He's a pretty good baby. He doesn't cry much and has yet to have any real fussiness or crying jags. When dd was born I was just barely learning about gentle parenting and was relying a lot on the Baby Whisperer for how to do things...it worked okay but I felt so stressed when I "failed" at her methods. With ds I'm just going with the flow, remembering that they change SO much and trying to enjoy snuggle time with him. He eats every 3 hours around the clock and I'm anxiously looking forward to a longer block of sleep at night...I know, silly, that's a long time compared to a lot of babies his age, dd just spoiled me by doing one 5-6hr stretch starting around this age.
Let's see...I've lost 30 pounds and have about 20 to go, And so far I'm feeling good about having 2 little ones, but dh went back to work today after two weeks off (and before that I had parents here) so now "real life" begins!
My baby is 6 weeks old today. She had a little cold last week that scared me, but she got over it. She nurses about every 4 hours and sleeps a lot, though not always when I'd like her to sleep. She wears 0-3 month clothing but I think she will be out of it before too long. I'm enormously in love with her.
I am planning on taking both kids on a long train trip in a couple of weeks, to visit my mother. I'm worried the baby will outgrow all her clothes and diapers on the trip, so I may switch her from 0-3 to 3-6 month clothing and from newborn diapers to small diapers when we leave.
Hi ladies! It is so wonderful to read all the updates!!!
I'm actually having a pretty rough go of things. The antibiotics from the CS gave me an extremely bad case of thrush. It's just now starting to go away at 5w4d pp. Nursing was overwhelmingly painful for about 3 weeks and I couldn't get anything out - my LC said it was like trying to pee with a swollen prostate. So my girl is on 1/3 breastmilk and 2/3 formula. We swapped formulas 4 times to find one that doesn't mess her tummy up, and have tried every bottle they make. My supply is shot but I have high hopes of eventually only giving her breast milk.
I went back to work last week, 4 1/2 wks pp. Ugh. I had to work last Wednesday, and then Monday through Wednesday of this week, but I get paid for 8 days. I had to do it, but it would have been better if my girl hadn't have been 2 weeks overdue. Oh well.
I keep saying "we" which is so funny. Well sort of. My mom flew in Nov 7th, as I was due Nov 10th. I had VERY mixed feelings about her coming at all, but what has ensued is utter craziness. My girl didn't come until Nov 21st, and my mom was supposed to fly out Nov 27th. She ended up extending her leave from work, and she's been here SINCE NOVEMBER FREAKING 7TH. The plan was for her to fly out Nov 27th and come back Dec 19th, but since she "needed" to stay longer than Nov 27th to help me after the CS, and since no one had the money to buy another plane ticket, she decided to just stay through.
All of this means I had NO babymoon. I'm now back to work, so I'll never GET a babymoon, just weekends where I'm scrambling to catch up for the week ahead. I'm TOTALLY devastated by this, and my mom just doesn't get it. I spent my entire maternity leave being a daughter instead of being a mother.
On top of that, she has completely taken over baby care, and every time I try to take the baby she gets upset. Like she'll say "Oh, okay, well I'll just go read then. [pouty face]" I can't stand it because she's leaving Friday and I know she won't see her granddaughter for a while, but she really has zero concern about what this has done to me. My mother has managed to make the birth of MY daughter all about HER, instead of about me and my girl. It's all a lot to take.
With that said, my parents are watching Kate last week and this week so she didn't have to go to daycare until next week. She'll just barely be 6 weeks old. It sort of breaks my heart, but then I know it's what we have to do, and the daycare is AWESOME. There's 1 caretaker for every 4 infants. And they have WAY cooler toys than we do at home! Awesome activity mats. Swings that go side to side! I'm actually really excited for her to be there interacting with other kids, other people. I just really, really wish I could have had a babymoon.
Whew. I know my posts are always long, but I guess I really needed to get that out. I'm having an awfully hard time reconciling what happened during Kate's birth. I don't even think I'm ready to talk about it. Well, I can talk about what happened, but not how it felt, if that makes sense. Maybe someday. But it's sort of hard for me to read posts about awesome HBs, and I hate that it's hard for me. I'm so happy for those it worked out for, you know? But I'm so upset about what happened to me.
For now, I'm REALLY SAD my parents are leaving on Friday, and yet I'm REALLY HAPPY that I can FINALLY have time alone with my baby girl. I HATE being back to work, but rent is due Friday and I have $82. And I miss you ladies and think of you often!!!!!!
I'm so glad to see you back and posting! I've been wondering how you and the baby were doing. Welcome back! Can't wait to see pics of your baby girl!
I'm really sorry about all the hell you've been going through.
Oliver is 7 weeks. Nursing is going pretty well. He's a little over 11 pounds now. Starting to creep his way up to 3-6 month clothes. Smiling lots, cooing, and really responding to all of us. He's next to me now kicking his feet around like a mad man!
I have unfortunately had a flare of ulcerative colitis, worst possible time for this to happen. In hindsight, I saw it coming, but I didn't really do anything about it until it got really bad. The past few days have been a struggle- he's been lugged into the hospital and Dr's office (hasn't been to either, otherwise!) I'm hopefully going to be feeling better soon.
Another thing going on with me is that my bleeding started back very heavy around 4 weeks and hasn't let up. No obvious cause of that. Dr told me progesterone was an option but my iron is fine right now, so I think we'll just wait it out.
I'm exhausted from three under 4, one with special needs, and then this stuff gets thrown in the mix!
As far as processing the birth, I so get that. Even though we had a successful homebirth, I'm still a little traumatized from what happened the very end of it. It was so fast and intense and I still remember that searing pain when he descended. Hugs to those of you struggling with some trauma/processing. It does get better. M first birth was awful.
good to hear from you, vegasgrl, MamieCole, and Shell_Ell!
breastfeeding is going a little easier here. I only have to supplement about once now. I'd love it if I could throw out all supplementing, but I am just glad we're doing pretty well. Found out that little A can't tolerate regular formula. It's not overly surprising, though, because my son had a dairy sensitivity and he couldn't drink milk until he was about 3. And my MIL tells me my hubby couldn't drink regular formula, either. I'm just hoping that the milk I drink doesn't start upsetting the baby's tummy, too. I'll go on an elimination diet for her if I have to, but I would rather not.
We finally braved dtd for the first time postpartum. That was interesting.
Babe has officially outgrown her newborn clothes and is fitting quite nicely in 0-3. I've found I love using fitteds and covers on her, but the pocket dipes get on my nerves. I'll probably try to sell off the pockets and just get fitteds. Also, I thought I would love snaps, but I prefer velcro. Who knew.
I found out today that I lost one of my jobs. I teach homeschool co-ops in my community, and one of the groups said they weren't going to use me anymore. *sigh* I tried really hard not to feel devastated. Now I need to find something to supplement our income. Not really looking forward to that. But hopefully the right thing will come along.
Jude is 4 weeks now and doing so well. He's up to 10 lbs 12 oz and is looking so round. He is still in 0-3 month clothing, but starting to outgrow a few sleepers in the length.
He's sleeping really well. Usually gives us one 3 hour stretch at night and then a 2-2 1/2. He's starting to be more awake during the day, he was such a sleeper in the first few weeks. He's developing a couple of fussy times when he's ready to sleep, but not too bad. He's been spitting up occasionally, like every other day or every two days. I was worried at first because it was so much (seemed like 2 oz or more). But I think he has occasionally been over feeding with my productive fast let down side. It is hard to tell when he is done on that side because he fusses the whole time with the letdown but still seems determined to fall asleep at the breast.
I'm doing okay. Bleeding is mostly all gone. Dh has been home pretty much the whole month which has been a huge help. He'll be back to school tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes. Ds 1 is still a bit of a struggle behavior wise. He's really done well with the new baby, but still has moments where it sure makes things tough, (like getting hit last night while brushing my teeth).
I've been feeling a little down the last few days and so I'm trying to remember to keep taking my vit D and Omega's. I had quite a bit of anxiety/depression prenatally this time and a lot of postpartum anxiety with ds 1, so I'd really like to keep it under control. Some of it it triggered by finances, but we're still trying to swing it for 9 months. I'm trying not to worry about that and try to enjoy my time at home with my little one's.
Happy New Year Everyone!!
Baby is 7.5 weeks now. We look at him and feel like he's just perfect. I don't have overwhelming adrenaline-rushes of love for him and that bugs me, but I do love him and have actually started to ENJOY breastfeeding! I never thought that would happen!!! He is between 12 and 13 pounds, I think, based on my non-scientific weighing myself and then picking him up and weighing us both. He is wearing 0-3 month stuff, but some of it is snug. LOTS of smiles now, which I LOVE!!
At my 6 week pp appointment, the midwife said I have "significant symptoms of PPD" but not "major PPD". UGH, that has messed with my mind. I don't FEEL depressed and actually feel better than I usually do in the winter (I think I usually have a little SAD). My friends and family have even noted that I seem LESS anxious than usual. I feel less anxious, too. So. Hm. The midwife said that the c-section, being a major surgery and evoking emotions that go along with "not being able to" have a vaginal birth, can really up the potential for PPD. She suggested a session with an OB-specializing psychologist. So, I will try that, especially since the midwife said I may be able to get paid a couple more weeks of short term disability if I do it. I do have some feelings of not being a good enough mother and some feelings to process about the birth, but otherwise, think things have gone pretty well.
Baby sleeps 4-6 hours at a time at night (usually closer to four) for the first stint and then 3ish for the second stint. I have gotten used to not having the full 8-9 hours all at once and go to bed early (9 pm ish) to make up for it; it's too hard to sleep during the day. Of course, the midwife said that not sleeping when the baby sleeps during the day is another sign of my PPD. Sheesh!!!
Our daycare fell through for after DH returns to work in April (I'm taking FMLA now and he's taking it after me), but we have another daycare to interview next week. Ack!
I am looking forward to returning to work and in some ways wonder if that makes me a crappy mom, to not want to be with my baby all the time. In other respects, it just makes me think I am seeking a good life balance and I just need to be both a career-woman and a mom/wife.
Overall, things are good, I think.
Shell_Ell, sorry to hear you have been sick; I admire you for being able to manage all your boys despite it! Sounds like you are doing a really great job despite your challenges!!!
ExhuberantDaffodil; your children are both beautiful; I'd think if your doctor is not concerned about your daughter's weight, you don't need to really worry. Just keep doing what you do ... doesn't it all kind of even out in the end? As long as you are giving her what she needs?
beebalmmama - best to you. I think the hardest thing is worrying about finances. If finances are OK, generally you can find a way to be OK, but otherwise it can be really stressful. *hug*
vegasgirl...wow, what challenges with your mom. I'm sorry you haven't gotten a babymoon. BLah!!! I like your positive attitude about the daycare, though. Best to you and Kate...
Thank you, ShwarmaQueen...also, how wonderful that you got your VBAC this time and it was so different having done it that way. I am joining the gym again this week and look forward to that endorphin rush that can help make you feel "normal"!!! Thank you for the reassurance that it will all come in time. My neighbor said her first three months with her baby were "hell" and then at about three months she fell in love. I have times like that already, so I have hope!!
It's so great to read everyone's updates and see pictures of the growing babes! Way to go, November mamas! They're all to gorgeous for words!
Liam is 5w 5d, and currently napping - so I can write this while I'm thinking about it! He's getting close to 12 pounds and starting to test the limit of some of his 0-3 clothes. He got a very cute outfit from his auntie for Christmas ... I put it on him 12/31, and it was already too snug. Sheesh.
In addition to growing like a weed, he's starting to smile responsively and has discovered that his fist is delicious and he can fit most of it in his mouth. He's still nursing well, although I seem to still be paying the price for some initial bad latching on my right side ... it's still sore when he latches on, but if he's on right it stops hurting almost immediately. He's sleeping OK. We've had some nights of 3-4 hour stretches from 7 PM-8 AM, and some nights of refusing to sleep even though he's exhausted and waking up every two hours. Thankfully, DH is a champion baby soother and takes him when he's been fed and changed and is still fussy.
We did our first big family road trip (including the dog) to DH's family in Minnesota for Christmas. We stayed for 5 days. My MIL is an absolute dream - super kind and accommodating, had a baby swing on hand (enabling DH and I to eat ... a whole meal ... TOGETHER), set up my "nursing station" in the living room, and is so supportive of breastfeeding/AP/etc. Liam got a little overwhelmed Christmas Eve with all the people around, but he still managed to charm everyone. The only downside was sleep - it was very hard for him in a new place. I was exhausted by the time we got home.
Mama and Papa update:
I have my 6 week follow-up on Wednesday. I'm pretty hopeful that I'll get the all clear for DTD and exercising. I really want to get moving again, not only to get back in shape, but because being inside is starting to drive me a little batty. I finally, after 5 weeks (lame, I know) got up the gumption to look at my perineum. Honestly, I was soooo freaked out by the thought of tears and stitches that I convinced myself it would be to much to look at. Obviously, I was wrong and everything looks healed from a lay woman's perspective. I think I can see a teensy scar where one tear was, but stitches are clearly gone. Phew!
I've started pumping sporadically, which is nice because I can leave a bottle in the fridge and go out on my own from time to time. Two of my best friends came and stayed over New Year's, and we went out for Bloody Marys (my favorite) and Liam stayed with Dad. It was amazing.
Physically, the only major after affect I'm still dealing with is (TMI alert) a big ugly hemorrhoid that I just don't know what to do about. I thought I would be in the clear since I made it through pregnancy, but nope. It's really some of the worst pain ever. How did you ladies that suffered this through pregnancy deal with it?
An attempt at a real update, if the baby continues to nap in the swing...
Grayson had his 2 month checkup today. He's 12lbs 8ozs, 24 1/4 inches. He's been smiling since two weeks and giggling and cooing for a couple of weeks now. He seems to be a super content baby unless he is hungry or in the car seat. (Hates the carseat...fun.) He pretty much eats all day long...I am literally stumped when the midwife or anyone else asks how often he nurses. I'm all..."Umm, constantly?" heh Breastfeeding has been a breeze so far. Hoping it stays that way. *fingers crossed* He sleeps anywhere from 3-5 hours at a time at night and naps for a couple hours during the day, so I am getting some sleep. Yay! He still has a lot of his hair...it has thinned out a bit, but he has kept most of it, unlike DS1 who had the "old man" balding on top going on by this point.
DS1 is adjusting pretty well. He is sort of "Meh" about the baby. He can take him or leave him. Isn't interested in holding him, but likes to "help" me change his diaper and will bring him a toy anytime he cries.
DH has been a great help with both boys and with taking up the slack with DD who needs to be driven here and there. He's practically stalking me and begging to DTD, but I just don't wanna yet. So he's being as patient as one could expect. I figure I'll need to take one for the team soon, even if I don't exactly want to do it.
I'm doing OK physically. Recovery from my surgery has been harder than it was last time. I think I've developed an adhesion near my scar which is pretty painful at times and really makes babywearing difficult. My stomach still hurts if I move the wrong way and I have lots of numbness on the skin as well. Fun times. Other than that, I am feeling good, but nowhere near ready to exercise . I'm 8lbs above pre-pregnancy weight, but I do not have my pre-pregnancy body again. Not a chance in heck I will ever be able to fit into my old jeans again. My body is just different and I don't anticipate it ever getting back to "normal." *sigh*
Emotionally I am super duper ok with having had another c-section. I feel I did everything humanly possible to avoid one and there was literally nothing else I could have done to prevent it. Having a uterine rupture has thrown me for a loop though. When something with a <1% chance of happening happens to you, it sort of makes taking comfort in stats for other things impossible. I'm totally convinced now that it is only a matter of when, not if, something else terrible is going to happen. (Thought process: if chance of UR was less than 1% and I had that, then the chance of us getting into a major car accident/getting a terminal illness/having a vaccine reaction if we vax/contracting a vaccine preventable disease if we don't, is pretty much a given.) I know it isn't exactly rational, but that's where I am right now.
So I am taking it one day at a time and hoping it gets better with time.
Zion is 6 weeks 2 days.
I have my pp visit wit my midwife next Monday, at 7 weeks. I wonder how much she weighs. A guess I weighed her myself a week and a half ago and she was 10 pounds, if the scale was accurate. She is growing out of her newborn clothes and into 0-3 months.
She eats every three hours during the day and every 3-5 hours at night. She doesn't go to bed until 11:30 or later; I hope this passes soon!
BFing is much easier this time around! No sore nips or engporgement (past the first week).
And my inlaws watched both kids Saturday while DH & I went on a date. Pumped milk and Zi took it like a pro! SO happy. My DS fought the bottle like mad.
Tor, my 2.5 year old, loves her and is a great helper. He gets upset when she cries though, which isn't too often; he says she is too loud, but he is sensitive to loud noises.
We DTD Sunday for the first time. It was ok, kinda hurt a bit but not bad.
Been exercising since week 2, but it's hard because my gym childcare doesn't watch the little ones until they are some months older (maybe 3 months?), so all I can do is cardio since her carseat can't be on the weight floor, but it's a start. I'm going to the beach in May, so I want to get my tummy in shape before then!
Zion dislikes the carseat. She smiles sometimes, but mainly at DH and not that much. My first was grinning constantly by 4 weeks, so each child is different!
I have a touch of blues, but it might be S.A.D. because I get this a tad too. Much better than with DS, though; I think taking placenta capsules have helped.
So Glenn is now 12 whole pounds! He is getting chunky little legs and arms. He nurses wonderfully every 2 to 3 hours during the day and 3 to 5 hours at night so I get a good amount of sleep DH gets up at night and changes him each time he needs a change at night. Glenn goes to sleep for the night around 7:30 or 9:00 just like DS1 did. We found a binky he likes so I am not a human pacifier. Someday's he sleeps all day long and some he fights his sleep and is awake all day. He is a very calm little man and he doesn't cry a lot we have seen a few smiles DS1 got him to make his first real smile it was adorable! He LOVES his swing sometimes when I cannot get him to calm down the swing will! He is such a little lovey and a wonderful baby. DS1 LOVES being a big brother he helps out so much and wants to help out he loves to hold his baby brother all the time he talks and sings to him and in the morning likes to cuddle with him in bed DH has been SO wonderful I feel so blessed he never complains about changeing his diapers or in the early morning if he can not sleep and I am so tired he will take him down stairs so I can sleep He has watched both boys for me to get my nails done he has been great! My sister is totally in love with Glenn she is so happy that she gets to be a real aunt to him as she says
(my nephew and DS1 are only 3 weeks apart and she felt as though she was not able to be an aunt to him even though he loves my sister) so she is in heaven with him when she is so funny with him she will tell DH you be careful with him or if when she comes in the house and can't find him she gets all nervous and asks where he is I love my sister!
I forgot about my 6 week check it was supposed to be yesterday and I totally missed it I need to make a new appointment! I do have PPD and they upped my Zoloft and it has helped a lot they upped it about 2 1/2 weeks after he was born. I still have lots of nervousness and I need to get that worked out. I feel very worried that something will happen to Glenn or Joey but it is not nearly as bad as it was before, it is not daily but still... Other than that I everything is great here. we are all very happy and feel blessed I can't believe that he has only been here for 61/2 weeks I cannot picture my life with out him!
Brenan is 6 weeks and 5 days already!. He weighs 12 pounds 14 ounces and is about 22 inches long. Just this week I've had to retire most of his 0-3 months clothes and break out the 3-6 month sizes.
Nursing is going much, much better now with the thrush gone and my sore nips healed. I have discovered that I cannot wear a nursing bra at night, no matter how cotton-y and soft, because my sensitive nips need that time to breath or else I'm sore again come morning. Still have low-supply days, but the less I fret about them the sooner my supply comes back up. He still wakes every 1.5-2 hours at night and I am reluctantly becoming a co-sleeping mama again (a matter of survival since a daytime nap is outside the realm of possibility).
I guess I'm in the minority here, but I really hate co-sleeping. I'm a sprawler and can easily utilize most of my king-sized bed, lol, and I love sleeping 'big', rolling over to some other 'big' position at will, it is my one selfish luxury. That's all out the window once you stick a baby next to me, I'm pretty much frozen in one position all night. So I get 'more' sleep, just not 'better' sleep, iykwim. His crib is at the foot end of my bed and I'm not giving up on getting him to sleep there just yet.
As a side note, I started him on 1/8 tsp Maxi Baby-dophilous (sp?) at night and his nighttime gushing (as opposed to spitting) has all but stopped! So this makes the co-sleeping somewhat more bearable - at least takes out the ick-factor. He still gushes frequently and spits almost constantly during the day, so I'm wondering if I should give him another 1/8 in the morning? The bottle calls for 1/4 tsp daily, so I think it would be okay. I haven't given him Zantac for 2 days now. I see no difference during the day from when he was on it.
I borrowed a Medela Lactina pump from the local WIC office, so I'm going to start pumping a stash of milk (hopefully) since I have to return to work in less than 6 weeks. [Can I just give a shout out to God for not only granting me 12 weeks of (unpaid) maternity leave, but also seeing us thru it financially thus far however much by the skin of our teeth it's been?] I am dreadfully nervous about pumping, which is why the pump has been sitting on my kitchen table, untouched, for two days now. I just now boiled the kit parts and have them air drying. Something about how utterly imperative it is that I do this makes it seem daunting. I've never in my life had to pump to feed my baby, maybe bust out the Isis for a gratuitous bottle now and then so I could do something crazy, like get my hair cut and highlighted. But this is different. This isn't a take it or leave it proposition. So I'm a little freaked out.
As far as life as a single mother of four, it is chaotic and busy all. the. time. I really, really enjoyed our Christmas break because that was the first time I got to stay home since Brenan was 4 days old! We also had a monster snow storm during this time and were snowed in solid for 5 days - glorious! Otherwise we leave the house a bare minimum of four times a day - take the big kids to school, come home, take 4 year old to headstart, come home, pick 4 year old up, come home, pick big kids up, come home. And their schools are all on the other side of town and not close together at all. AAACCCKKK. It makes me crazy. I HATE having B in his carseat so much, but there is no other way. He's a good sport about it at least.
My daughter is 15 and so very involved in school and homework and obsessed with her GPA and taking AP classes, lol, which is wonderful, but she is mostly in her own world. She is seriously my best friend, I love that girl more than words and I am so proud of her, so I let her do her thing and try not to ask much too much of her. People always assume that because I have older kids that I have all this help, but that's not usually the case, lol. My 9 year old son is very helpful with the baby, I always joke that if he could only lactate he would gladly take over the nursing business, he is really THAT in love with Brenan. So I do have help there, if I'm busy and can't hold/wear B atm, and he starts crying, Gavin is right there to console and cuddle him. Doesn't usually work, because B pretty much just wants to nurse, but Gavin gives it his best every time. At first he would have tears streaming down his face because he wanted so badly to be able to comfort his baby brother and couldn't, but now he just takes it in stride and goes on loving and cajoling him through B's angry howls. And Cohen, my special needs kiddo, who we were ALL worried SICK about how he would adapt to a baby in the house - even his psychiatrist was holding her breath - has amazed us all with how well he has taken to Brenan. No signs of malicious intent at all! He is very gentle with him, doesn't have the same interest that Gavin has in him, but he is very gentle when he does touch him, and speaks lovingly towards him. It is hard for him to deal if B starts crying when we are stuck driving, but who doesn't struggle in that situation? The first time it happened Cohen asked if he could 'put the lid' (blanket) back on the baby's head "'cuz he's too loud, it hurts my ears", lol. But he is getting used to it now and as well, Brenan doesn't cry much in the van, so it's good all the way around.
We have had to relegate our yellow edge GMD prefolds to burp cloths now, he is too wide in the trunk to Snappi them into diapers any longer. LOVE our MEOS very much. Kind of annoyed with our NuBunz pockets, can't seem to get a good fit no matter which way I snap (or leave unsnapped). I thought they might be a good overnight dipe, but they weren't, we had big leaks. So they are our 'out and about' diapers, just for having fewer 'pieces' to lug and possibly, lose. Our nighttime diaper is one I build out of a MEOS, one of the microfiber inserts from the NuBunz, and a strip of fleece over it with a size 2 Thirsties DUO Wrap. Not one single leak all night.
i had made a post about baby milestones but none of it mentioned the not so glamorous things of having a child.
it is not necessarily kaine himself, but i have hit a point where i feel very empty in all aspects of life right now. it is not depression, it's that i'm not pregnant anymore. the whole thing is conflictual; i want to have a baby right away again while the painful memories of childbirth are stopping me. i can hardly remember the pain itself but i can remember how ballistic i was, and that tells me that i was pushed way beyond my boundaries of comfort(it truly wasn't what i was expecting). -- i am not bleeding anymore(though i only fully quit bleeding 3 days ago), but my body feels tender everywhere, i feel so fragile. my lower back is touchy, my breasts are plain sore, and i feel drained(but i know that just comes with having a baby). i hope i recover however, mentally it feels like i've been traumatized by childbirth. i would really rather just snap back to normal any day now.
kaine, he is great really, but he cries constantly(as i'm sure most babies do). my day consists of nothing but baby; hes there when i wake up, hes there when i have to do something or go somewhere, hes there when i sleep... constantly, 2mos. and no break from the little guy not even once. it's not so bad but i could totally enjoy 30/45 minutes away from him and not hear him cry(if he cries i feel compelled to see whats wrong, even if i know he's fine with DH). physically/mentally i'm exhausted! i'm still dwelling in zombieland, the land of sleep deprivation here, but slowly i think i'm starting to adapt to it all, whereas before i was extremely cranky running on very small amounts of sleep, now it doesn't all seem so bad. -- i cant lie, this is much more difficult than i could have ever anticipated yet, everything i do now is for kaine, and that makes it worth while. he does make me smile and feel good after all.
we were all sick for a bit. kaine weighed 10lbs 8oz. one visit but dropped to 9lbs 15oz. the next visit, they said not to worry that it was common... everything is going well now, actually, he is going through a growth spurt i think; he sleeps less and eats more right now.
i think that's it for me, i'm having a small internal battle with myself but i'll recover eventually.
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