I put her down to make dinner, and in the morning to take a shower, but that's about it. You should see my house; it's a disaster. We usually just hit the couch when we walk in the door and that's that; we've even been sleeping there. I'm hiring a friend to come clean once a week. I'm hoping that helps my general state of mind.
We're on our fourth formula, as my supply is shot from her stay in the NICU. I still pump all day at work and I give her as much BM as I can, but I only make about 1/3 of what she eats. But she's been on only BM for an entire week (I had amassed quite the freezer stash early on) and she's still the gassiest baby I've ever seen. Or heard. Or smelled. So I don't even think it's the formula, which I now make only with distilled water.
In her rare moments of non-crying, she's just the sweetest thing I've ever seen and I so wish I could keep her happy. I've read everything I can about colic, gas, tummy trouble, etc. I'm a fervent practicer of the 5 S's, though I can safely say I do NOT have the happiest baby on the block. We use gripe water and gas drops. I've tried every bottle they make - slow flow, fast flow, wide nipple, skinny nipple, drop-in. We've used a supplementer and just ate at the breast. She's just miserable no matter what I try.
There's a big part of me that's actually grateful I went back to work so soon - being able to hand her off to Miss Maria at the daycare is a godsend. Which of course makes me feel like a horrible mother. And she's a little angel all day, wouldn't you know it. Which also makes me feel like a horrible mother, cuz I pick her up and she starts crying in the car and she cries until I drop her off again the next morning, unless of course I'm holding her. :sigh
I'm REALLY not enjoying being a mom. Not even a little bit. I love her love her LOVE her and hearing her cry is heartbreaking, especially when there are times I can't do anything about it. The only solace I can take is that at least she stops crying when I'm holding her. And she sleeps through the night, from about 10 till 6 - that's something too I suppose. Also, she's a very good eater. It's just getting it out that seems to be the problem.
Anyone else have a miserable baby? Please commiserate with me. Kcparker told me to mark off 12 weeks and 16 weeks on the calendar cuz it would start to get better at 12 and should be downright blissful by 16. I'm so doubting this at this point, but 12 weeks is February 19th so we shall see!!!
the 5 S's ... which you know about
wearing them in the sling ...works like a charm
putting them on their tummies (on my knees) and patting their back
Hyland's homeopathic Colic Tablets
taking them to the chiropractor!!!!!! It really does work!!! They hang the babies upside down and will teach you how to do it. Then they adjust whatever the babies can't adjust on their own. It costs us $30 an adjustment. So, it's pricey ... but if you're at your wits end ... it's worth it!!!
Loving my twin boys! 11/03/2009 And my daughter 08/16/11 momma Homesteader Doula
I envy your for your 8hrs of sleep! Wow! I get a three hour stretch and then a handful of 1.5-2hr stretches right now. I once had a 5hr stretch and was so exited I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards
Also, our baby is fussiest in the evenings, maybe you just see her during her not so happy times?
Hang in there!
Mom to two sweet children - Oct'09 & May'12. Wife to a loving husband. Two little souls lost Oct'14(11weeks) and Mar'15 (13weeks). Expecting a little bean in Feb'16
My only additional suggestion to what you've received so far - have you tried baby massage? I inherited a book entitled "Infant Massage" (you can probably get a used one cheap on Amazon) that has a routine specifically for gassy babies. Helps Liam when it's really rough.
Hope little Kate's belly feels better soon!
Mama to DS 11/25/09
Married to my truelove since 6/2/2007
<- that happened, EDD 6/28/14
I remember thinking, will I even be able to put him down without waking him up or without starting a crying spell? And now at 11 weeks he plays happily on the floor for 30min plus, he does not need or want to sleep on top of me anylonger
Thanks for the tips, guys. And man, colicky twins? Carrie you're still so my hero.
My doula made a very good point: she will NOT want to be held FOREVER. And some day I'll be wishing she'd even let me hug her, so relishing these moments is probably a better idea than rueing them away.
I, too, second taking her to a chiro. I haven't taken my daughter, but my midwife did give her a small adjustment and then show me how to hang her from her hips (I know that sounds weird, but my girl always gets really calm after I do it). I had no idea about adjustments when my son was a newbie, but I wish I had learned about it to put in my bag of tricks.
I promise it won't always be like this.
I recommend taking the homeopathic ignatia amara. I find is extremely helpful for nervousness, emotional and physical upset, and general moodiness. (I also give it to my 5 year old son sometimes if he is having a panicky day). A bonus to taking ignatia is it is supposed to be good for milk supply (according to kellymom.). A natural/health food store will probably carry it. I use this brand, and it costs a little over $6 a bottle at my hfs.
If you want any other ideas for increasing milk supply, just let me know. (You may very well be burned out on all the advice I've just struggled to much postpartum trying to be able to breastfeed exclusively, and I've found many helpful strategies and products).
I really really REALLY couldn't live without my Moby wrap. He loves it- change him, feed him, stuff him in, and he usually falls asleep (even when he doesn't right away he just peeps around), but I can clean, cook, sit, walk, grocery shop, even potty, which is so nice.
ETA: Babywearing is linked to reduced colic. It also helps with gas issues as baby is 'squeezed' upright against your body- so more gas comes out in burps when he's in the wrap.
Momma to DD (12/04) and DS (11/09) .
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!
Question: does she need you specifically to hold her? Or does she just want to be held?
Mine will, up to a point, be held by anyone. Though sometimes she wants me specifically.
It's rough and I'm tired and I have little time to do much, so little time I've stopped posting to this DDC (though I do read to keep up with you ladies). So just know that you are not alone!
You are so not alone, Mama. In fact, I estimate I have 2 minutes before fussing Maddy turns into screaming Maddy so I am typing fast. I love my baby like nothing else in this world but I tell you what...there sure are times where DH and I look at each other and say, "What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?" She is adorable, demanding, inconsolably crying, grinning ear to ear one minute and screaming with a blood red face like a lobster the next - there is no mellow with this baby. She knows one speed and that is GO...and her patience is, well, nonexistent...if you don't switch out the paci and bottle of expressed milk instantaneously, the neighbors know. As for going back to work, it is making me a better mother. I get a break during the day...miss her terribly...and come home ready for any crying and sneak cuddling I can get in during the night. It truly has helped me through this colicky transition...uh oh...my volcano is no longer dormant...and I'm off!
Lots of for you!
Jennifer, SAHM to my little man 5 1/2 and my VBAC sweetie pie girls 4 1/2, 2 1/2 and 6mos.
Also, I found that a good B-complex vitamin really helps me relax a bit to better be able to deal with the tough times.
s Hang in there.