Colic woes - Mothering Forums
November 2009 > Colic woes
vegasgrl's Avatar vegasgrl 05:56 PM 01-12-2010
I love this little girl, I tell you. But she cries CONSTANTLY. ALL THE TIME. If I'm not holding her, she's hysterically crying. She has mad gas and just crazy tummy problems - the volume of her crying is in direct proportion to the volume of the noises her belly makes. The pediatrician keeps telling me she'll grow out of it between 3 and 6 months. But I guess I'm just supposed to hold her until then, because every single time I put her down, even when she's swaddled and sound asleep, she's awake in 3 minutes flat...crying again.

I put her down to make dinner, and in the morning to take a shower, but that's about it. You should see my house; it's a disaster. We usually just hit the couch when we walk in the door and that's that; we've even been sleeping there. I'm hiring a friend to come clean once a week. I'm hoping that helps my general state of mind.

We're on our fourth formula, as my supply is shot from her stay in the NICU. I still pump all day at work and I give her as much BM as I can, but I only make about 1/3 of what she eats. But she's been on only BM for an entire week (I had amassed quite the freezer stash early on) and she's still the gassiest baby I've ever seen. Or heard. Or smelled. So I don't even think it's the formula, which I now make only with distilled water.

In her rare moments of non-crying, she's just the sweetest thing I've ever seen and I so wish I could keep her happy. I've read everything I can about colic, gas, tummy trouble, etc. I'm a fervent practicer of the 5 S's, though I can safely say I do NOT have the happiest baby on the block. We use gripe water and gas drops. I've tried every bottle they make - slow flow, fast flow, wide nipple, skinny nipple, drop-in. We've used a supplementer and just ate at the breast. She's just miserable no matter what I try.

There's a big part of me that's actually grateful I went back to work so soon - being able to hand her off to Miss Maria at the daycare is a godsend. Which of course makes me feel like a horrible mother. And she's a little angel all day, wouldn't you know it. Which also makes me feel like a horrible mother, cuz I pick her up and she starts crying in the car and she cries until I drop her off again the next morning, unless of course I'm holding her. :sigh

I'm REALLY not enjoying being a mom. Not even a little bit. I love her love her LOVE her and hearing her cry is heartbreaking, especially when there are times I can't do anything about it. The only solace I can take is that at least she stops crying when I'm holding her. And she sleeps through the night, from about 10 till 6 - that's something too I suppose. Also, she's a very good eater. It's just getting it out that seems to be the problem.

Anyone else have a miserable baby? Please commiserate with me. Kcparker told me to mark off 12 weeks and 16 weeks on the calendar cuz it would start to get better at 12 and should be downright blissful by 16. I'm so doubting this at this point, but 12 weeks is February 19th so we shall see!!!

CarrieCo's Avatar CarrieCo 06:08 PM 01-12-2010
sorry you're having such a hard time! It will get better. I can only tell you what works for us .....

the 5 S's ... which you know about
wearing them in the sling ...works like a charm
putting them on their tummies (on my knees) and patting their back
and....

Hyland's homeopathic Colic Tablets

and.....

taking them to the chiropractor!!!!!! It really does work!!! They hang the babies upside down and will teach you how to do it. Then they adjust whatever the babies can't adjust on their own. It costs us $30 an adjustment. So, it's pricey ... but if you're at your wits end ... it's worth it!!!


Good luck!
belltree's Avatar belltree 06:50 PM 01-12-2010
Oh dear. My little boy is a bit ahead of you. He never was that bad, but I remember thinking, will I even be able to put him down without waking him up or without starting a crying spell? And now at 11 weeks he plays happily on the floor for 30min plus, he does not need or want to sleep on top of me anylonger, but he still falls asleep best on the breast or while beeing carried in a sling.

I envy your for your 8hrs of sleep! Wow! I get a three hour stretch and then a handful of 1.5-2hr stretches right now. I once had a 5hr stretch and was so exited I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards

Also, our baby is fussiest in the evenings, maybe you just see her during her not so happy times?

Hang in there!
JohannaInDairyland's Avatar JohannaInDairyland 09:33 PM 01-12-2010
I'm so sorry mama! My little guy has some gas issues - oddly enough, only at 5 AM, but every morning like clockwork, there it is. Definitely not what you're up against though!

My only additional suggestion to what you've received so far - have you tried baby massage? I inherited a book entitled "Infant Massage" (you can probably get a used one cheap on Amazon) that has a routine specifically for gassy babies. Helps Liam when it's really rough.

Hope little Kate's belly feels better soon!
vegasgrl's Avatar vegasgrl 11:10 PM 01-12-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by belltree View Post
I remember thinking, will I even be able to put him down without waking him up or without starting a crying spell? And now at 11 weeks he plays happily on the floor for 30min plus, he does not need or want to sleep on top of me anylonger
Thank you for this!!! I'm reminded of the posts re: heartburn and mamas saying "just wait - it really does go away after you have the baby." Here we are not even two months later and I can't even remember why I have so many Tums in my bathroom.

Thanks for the tips, guys. And man, colicky twins? Carrie you're still so my hero.

My doula made a very good point: she will NOT want to be held FOREVER. And some day I'll be wishing she'd even let me hug her, so relishing these moments is probably a better idea than rueing them away.
ExuberantDaffodil's Avatar ExuberantDaffodil 12:21 AM 01-13-2010
Oh vegasgrl, my heart goes out to you. My son was like this when he was an infant. There were times I just felt so at my wit's end. Like, "WHY IN HEAVEN'S NAME WON'T HE STOP CRYING?!" I had to hold him, and specifically, I had to nurse him. About every 45 minutes around the clock. I loved him with every fiber of my being, but it was so... not enjoyable. I was a single mom, too. And going to work felt downright blissful sometimes.

I, too, second taking her to a chiro. I haven't taken my daughter, but my midwife did give her a small adjustment and then show me how to hang her from her hips (I know that sounds weird, but my girl always gets really calm after I do it). I had no idea about adjustments when my son was a newbie, but I wish I had learned about it to put in my bag of tricks.

I promise it won't always be like this.

I recommend taking the homeopathic ignatia amara. I find is extremely helpful for nervousness, emotional and physical upset, and general moodiness. (I also give it to my 5 year old son sometimes if he is having a panicky day). A bonus to taking ignatia is it is supposed to be good for milk supply (according to kellymom.). A natural/health food store will probably carry it. I use this brand, and it costs a little over $6 a bottle at my hfs.

If you want any other ideas for increasing milk supply, just let me know. (You may very well be burned out on all the advice I've just struggled to much postpartum trying to be able to breastfeed exclusively, and I've found many helpful strategies and products).
ShwarmaQueen's Avatar ShwarmaQueen 03:25 AM 01-13-2010
Oh i could go on for days with all the issues we've had in such a short period...i'll just say that it does get easier. If it's any consolation, DS wasn't been supplemented any and still had MAJOR gas issues, like hourly screaming, curling legs, hard tummy, blowing holes in the diaper sessions. So it might not be the formula- I was told some babies are born with immature digestive tracts, some more than others. Makes sense because DD never had a gas issue.

I really really REALLY couldn't live without my Moby wrap. He loves it- change him, feed him, stuff him in, and he usually falls asleep (even when he doesn't right away he just peeps around), but I can clean, cook, sit, walk, grocery shop, even potty, which is so nice.

ETA: Babywearing is linked to reduced colic. It also helps with gas issues as baby is 'squeezed' upright against your body- so more gas comes out in burps when he's in the wrap.
Sleepyheaded_Mama's Avatar Sleepyheaded_Mama 09:41 PM 01-14-2010
Girl...I am too exhausted to even thoroughly comment at the moment...but just know you are NOT alone. B is miserable pretty much all the time. He has reflux. I have to wear him constantly during the day - it's the only way to stop the screams. And then he, I, our sling, and every surface we come near or sit on is covered in spit-up or forcefully vomited up curdled chunky BREAST milk. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. It's probably something I'm eating, and a better, less exhausted and stretched impossibly thin mother would undertake an elimination diet to isolate the offending fare, but I'm not her. For the first time in 16 years of motherhood I feel an intense pull to the formula aisle, not just when I'm shopping, but even when I'm home! I haven't gone to the 'other side' just yet, but I make no promises for the near future...
Tattooed Hand's Avatar Tattooed Hand 02:44 AM 01-15-2010
Yes, I second that. You are not alone. I can't put DD down. Tops, when she has pooped and fed and burped, I might have about 10-15 minutes a couple of times a day when I can set her down in her bouncy chair and run to take a shower and brush my teeth. Forget "optional" things like further self grooming. I do wear her in a wrap all the time. And DH, the little time he is home, does hold her (this only sometimes cuts it). But I have to nurse her pretty much every 1.5-2 hours around the clock. And I work from home (going back to work on 1/25 though have started some prep I need to do now).

Question: does she need you specifically to hold her? Or does she just want to be held?

Mine will, up to a point, be held by anyone. Though sometimes she wants me specifically.

It's rough and I'm tired and I have little time to do much, so little time I've stopped posting to this DDC (though I do read to keep up with you ladies). So just know that you are not alone!
Leewoss's Avatar Leewoss 01:10 AM 01-19-2010
Vegasgrl,
You are so not alone, Mama. In fact, I estimate I have 2 minutes before fussing Maddy turns into screaming Maddy so I am typing fast. I love my baby like nothing else in this world but I tell you what...there sure are times where DH and I look at each other and say, "What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?" She is adorable, demanding, inconsolably crying, grinning ear to ear one minute and screaming with a blood red face like a lobster the next - there is no mellow with this baby. She knows one speed and that is GO...and her patience is, well, nonexistent...if you don't switch out the paci and bottle of expressed milk instantaneously, the neighbors know. As for going back to work, it is making me a better mother. I get a break during the day...miss her terribly...and come home ready for any crying and sneak cuddling I can get in during the night. It truly has helped me through this colicky transition...uh oh...my volcano is no longer dormant...and I'm off!
ldsmom06's Avatar ldsmom06 12:02 AM 01-20-2010
My dd cry's all the time too and it SUCKS! She is allergic to milk so I stopped that but she still has horrible reflux and is miserable! I feel horrible for her! I can't do anything I feel horrible for my other kids. I can't babywear her she hates that too. I haven't showered for 3 days she between dd#1 and her I can't even think, ds has been a huge help I can't believe he is only 3. DD#1 is definitely in her terrible 2's Its so frustrating!!!!
Lots of for you!
Rose-Roget's Avatar Rose-Roget 05:26 PM 01-25-2010
Has your ped tried a reflux med? Maybe you've sid that and I missed it. They can really do a lot to help.

Also, I found that a good B-complex vitamin really helps me relax a bit to better be able to deal with the tough times.

s Hang in there.
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