Dont let him get sucked into that horrible pointless game like many others have.
In fact, I might make that permanent!
Is there a chance he is addicted? I've heard a lot about those fantasy games being addictive.
oh yeah he is addicted! but he is like that with almost all of the online games. not quite as bad with the offline games but still annoying. not to mention that he has stopped doing any and all tard work and anything else since starting that game. he hasn't done anything that hasn't been absolutely neccessary, and even then it hasn't been with out me being a nagging b@#$h about it. too annoying! what sucks is that i am responsible with computer time and now i lose my internet b/c he isn't. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH! god knows men are just like kids!
Anyway, you have every right to be poed. Sometimes a lengthy absence is a good reminder to them, especially when you leave the children.
Congrats to you on taking the step to turn off the 'net for now. I sincerely wish I had thought of that back then... it didn't even occur to me. I hope it works out for you and that he comes around.
My 3 sons! 8/92, 1/97 & 12/09!!
Is it possible he's depressed? Postpartum depression can affect dads, too. There is an article about it here.
Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)
mama to one DS and one DD, equally amazing.
My ex's attitude during the early days of our childrens lives is one of the reasons we're now divorced, btw. That stuff can rankle deep and I strongly recommend you get yourself therapy to talk through your feelings, when you can.
Cynthia, loving my husband Isaac, my silly boy Jacob (Apr 07), my sweet little Luke (Dec 09), and my darling Lily (Aug 12)
Both of them neglected their own physical health, mental health, and hygiene for the sake of the game, and I cannot imagine what would have happened if they had had families or jobs to be responsible for.
Those games are time consuming to an extreme, and the player can't just turn off at will and return where they were....so everything gets scheduled around the game, and it has to if one is to continue playing. The obvious answer is that the playing must stop. I know you don't want to have that fight....but maybe write a letter or something? He needs to examine why this virtual world holds any satisfaction for him....(at this point he may have days or weeks "played". I think you find out by typing /played in game) and ask himself if that is going to be lasting? Is that time spent immersed worth more than the short years of his kids childhood? Or worth losing the respect of his family? Or worse?
I write all this from the heart, hopefully nothing was harsh. I truly believe your husband can and should get away from the game and find his wonderful self again. I am concerned by you not napping..please take care mama!!
Mama to ds 5, and a brand new Christmas Day baby 2009!
I wanted to post a link that was extremely helpful for me...and opened the door to a lot of options and help. At first it seemed daunting but then I realized that the current method of dealing with it wasn't working and daunting or not something else had to be done.
I would love to tell you more details of my story, but it's very personal and would prefer to share via PM/email if you think it would be of help, or if you have any questions. This is not a fun journey, but it is life changing and amazing in the end...I hope you are both able to find peace.
Midwife. Mama to five. Love is still the greatest.
Not all online gamers are like your husband and do have the ability to stop, play a very specific and set amount of time or not play at all if other real life priorities come up. Reading about your husband's play time and style, I would bet big that he is into raiding, which is an enormous time sink and there is a lot of social pressure inside the gaming groups to not let the group as a whole down (usually 25 or 40 man raids).
Obviously his priorities should be you and your children, not WoW, and he is no longer at a point in which he can control himself. Logging in right after the birth of a new baby is a huge red flag - it is really sad. The game itself is not the problem, his addiction to it is.
I know you don't want to but you have got to have a hard discussion with him and set some personal boundaries. The problem with online gaming addiction is that a lot of people don't take it seriously like they would another addiction. He may very well have to give up his guild/raiding or whatever it is within the game that he is so addicted to. My sister and her husband found themselves getting more addicted and were just popping in DVDs for their daughter so they could play so they suspended their accounts for 6 months to just regroup and get it out of the house.
How is he playing for 20 hours a day? Does he not have a job?