Postpartum- kids extra irritating? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 11 Old 12-19-2009, 04:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I noticed in the thread for ppm that many of us are extra irritated with our kids. Something that happened again this time that I remember with my 2 other births in which I took baby home to meet siblings is feeling like my other kids were HUGE. Their heads seem to have grown over night. I am also feeling the need to correct the slightest things they do and I don't really like them touching the new baby.

It's getting better each day, but my poor kids are dealing with a cranky mom.

Why do you think this is? Anyone else find this weird postpartum thing annoying?

Snarky Army wife, mom to 2 girls : 6, : 9, twin boys, 4 : and born 12/10.
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#2 of 11 Old 12-19-2009, 11:11 PM
 
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omg, me too. I've been pretty good-- little things thinking about them make me really love them all over again. I'm totally cranky now--I think I'm having the hormonal crash...

But they are huge! My almost 3 year-old dd who I carried all through my pregnancy is suddenly huge and too heavy to carry!

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#3 of 11 Old 12-19-2009, 11:40 PM
 
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i am having the same problem with my 8yr, 5yr, and 20(mo) old. my 20 mo old has been a pain in the a$$ for the last two months now. way more whiney and temper tantrum prone. my son has started being very emotional and not listening. and my 8 yo has just entered into pre-preteenism. I feel like they are way too loud and rowdy all the time, and find myself correcting every little thing they do "wrong" and then wondering why it was important or necessary to correct that... and i am REEEAAALLLLy over protective of this baby, to the point of being mean at times. I have been very emotional this postpartum, partly because this is my last baby and partly because of frustrations with my husband and lack of sleep. but i have also noticed that after my last 2 births before Ethan, i was very over-protective of the new baby and very snappy with the older kid(s) and very irritable for the first month or two. i think it is honestly instinct, i mean think about it every other animal mother that takes care of her babies is very protective of them after she has them, to the point of killing other members of her pack/herd even her mate for their survival. it makes sense for us to have that same protective instinct to some degree. i mean i even get (more) irritated driving now because of all the idiots on the road that want to do stupid things while i am on the road with my newborn and three other kids. so what i am getting at is that from my experience this is a natural post partum instinct and we need to accept this and do our best to manage it and not let it control us. remember that our kids are only having THEIR natural postpartum reactions and probably don't entirely understand them either. i thought about this while i was pregnant and expected to be like this and so have had more control over it this time. that does not mean that my youngest one isn't driving me bonkers though b/c she is! i think her and my 5 yo son are on a mega-super crack drip or something.
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#4 of 11 Old 12-19-2009, 11:50 PM
 
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DS1 looked so grown up when DD was born even though he wasn't yet 3. DD was my baby for 4 years and I still saw her as a "baby" until Everett was born. Now she looks huge. My irritation with the older siblings depends on how much sleep I get. Most of the time it's the fighting and yelling that bothers me more than anything.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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#5 of 11 Old 12-20-2009, 12:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milimama View Post
Something that happened again this time that I remember with my 2 other births in which I took baby home to meet siblings is feeling like my other kids were HUGE. Their heads seem to have grown over night.
I noticed that with my cats! It was really weird. They looked bigger and less cute. It wore off by the end of the first week or so, thank goodness.

Cloud, mommy to her happy little Nimbus, born 11/09!
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#6 of 11 Old 12-20-2009, 09:58 AM
 
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I found I was less than patient with dd after baby came Tuesday. However, once my milk came in and lo started sleeping for a few hours at a time, I became less irritable. I'm actually averaging several hours of sleep each night and get a little rest in during the day. This makes the 3yo a lot easier to handle.
Although, my nipples are rocking sore right now (they are always so raw for the first week or so) and anytime dd comes near my chest I panic a little bit.
I am enjoying the fact that dd fits on my lap again. I missed holding her the past few months.
And, yes, dd seemed so HUGE after lo was born. I carried her around while pregnant and I now wonder how on Earth I did that!
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#7 of 11 Old 12-20-2009, 07:59 PM
 
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Yup. My very energetic DD home all day in a 700 sq foot apartment is pretty much a recipe for disaster.
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#8 of 11 Old 12-20-2009, 11:32 PM
 
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Oh, man. my 4 yo has been tough. But he's been tough the entire pregnancy. He is absolutely obsessed with my boobs, and the entire pregnancy (he was forced to wean when my milk dried up) constantly grabbed my boobs, talked about them, and pretended to nurse. So now he is constantly wanting to feel that "my milk is filled up now", and pretending to nurse, and my breasts hurt super bad from engorgement and sore nipples- I do NOT want him all over me!!! But I'm trying to be sensitive about it but most of the time I am irritable about it and just tell him to stop it. I did let him try twice and he was unable to get any milk out, and whatever I pump I let him drink in a cup and he likes it.

I know it's hard for him to be displaced as my baby, since he was really all mine for quite a long time and now all of a sudden he's a big boy and the baby is getting his milk!

And, he is nonstop saying babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby allllll day long, and kissing her continuously. I am so happy he likes her, because we have an awful sibling rivalry between DS1 and 2, and I do want to encourage him to love her, but it's just TOO MUCH and smothering, I just want to snuggle her and be alone with her a lot of the time!

However, my 7 yo DS has been totally fine and easy to be with, aside from the usual kid problems, that aren't any different from what we normally see!

And totally agree with this:

"i think it is honestly instinct, i mean think about it every other animal mother that takes care of her babies is very protective of them after she has them, to the point of killing other members of her pack/herd even her mate for their survival. it makes sense for us to have that same protective instinct to some degree."
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#9 of 11 Old 12-21-2009, 01:09 PM
 
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No time to detail it all but OMG the whining from my 4yo, the flopping, the poor listening skills, the uncontrollable giant body she seems to have all of a sudden.

She's loving to the baby, challenging and pushing boundaries with us. She's doing her best, I know, and she's really doing a fabulous job of handling all of this when I look at it objectively. But that doesn't mean I don't have at least one moment each day where I want to stick her out on the front porch and lock the door behind her.

Mother, Wife, Worker Bee. Mama to Clara (10/05) and Ophelia (12/09)
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#10 of 11 Old 12-21-2009, 02:37 PM
 
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I'm finding my kids challenging too. Mostly, both boys seem to be on a continuous amphetamine drip. They're absolutely bonkers with the jumping and running and yelling and general insane-ness in the house. Other than that, the 4yo has really taken his little sister in stride. He adjusted really easily/quickly when DS2 was born also. I think it's just his nature, he's a roll w/the punches kinda guy. My 2yo on the other hand thinks that now that my womb is empty he'd like to crawl back inside. My boobs hurt, and he's always all over my body. He also loves on the baby way too much. He want's to kiss her and pat her and see her toes and unwrap her to see her belly button and hold her... And sometimes I just want to feed her without a huge 2yo butting his head against my other very full and likely to explode breast! He also gets very sensitive if I correct him, and I have to correct him about 50 times before he gets the idea that "don't touch the baby until she's done eating" does not mean "keep touching and poking and patting and bumping the baby" When I'm not holding the baby I try to be extra snugly with him, but it's obviously not enough.

Amanda, mama to Owen (11/05) and Connor (10/07) and Aria (12/09) Recycled Wool Longies and Reusable Baggies
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#11 of 11 Old 12-21-2009, 03:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Awaken View Post
And, he is nonstop saying babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby allllll day long, and kissing her continuously. I am so happy he likes her, because we have an awful sibling rivalry between DS1 and 2, and I do want to encourage him to love her, but it's just TOO MUCH and smothering, I just want to snuggle her and be alone with her a lot of the time!
THIS.

I also find I am really struggling with GD, because I have seen so many behaviors that are absolutely over the line in terms of aggression and disrespect. We normally do 'time-in,' going to her room with her to calm down...which she hates...and I feel like evil punitive mama. It's the only thing that seems to get through to her though...I've been zero-tolerance on hitting, kicking, name-calling, and backtalking for the last 3 weeks and it does seem to be working.

I'm really hoping dishing out consequences is going to be a temporary corrective measure rather than my new parenting style But somewhere along the line in our old life with two working parents, some unacceptable behaviors became habits, and I'm not really sure how else to maintain a civilized home/my sanity.
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