WEEKLY RAMBLE/CHAT for JAN 31st - FEB 6th - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-31-2010, 04:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Baby's age:

Milestones/Updates:

Thoughts:

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 01-31-2010, 04:32 PM
 
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I actually have a rare minute with no kids... so I'll start.


Name: Cortney and Griffin

Baby's age: 6 wks

Milestones/Updates: Poor babe has had a cold for over a week. He's so congested. He got it from his big sister and now we have family visiting with different colds. Argh. I feel like with a big sister in preschool we're destined to have constant snot-fests until spring.

Griffin's neck is crazy strong... he has amazing head control.

We're toying with the idea of putting him on reflux meds, but not until after this cold is over. It seemed like the reflux was getting better before his cold so now it's hard to tell what's bothering him the cold or the reflux.

Sleep has not gotten too much better, still nursing every 2 hrs at night and now with the congestion, we're not getting quality sleep. Ahhh someday we'll sleep.


Thoughts: I ordered a Babyhawk mei tai and am so excited to try it. Ds loves the Moby but sometimes I think he's getting tired of being so squished by it. And he's doing this thing where he sticks his little head out of it and I have to use my hand to support his head, so it's not exactly "hands free".

So I'm hitting that 6 wk mark when DH is starting to look at me and want to DTD... I really really really am not interested. I remember being this way after dd was born too. I'm just too tired and flabby and this time I think I might have some prolapse issues going on so just not feeling right in the nether regions...

mumma to sweet 7 year old girl
and darling 2 year old guy

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Old 01-31-2010, 11:18 PM
 
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bouncing a fussy babe, I'll do my best here!

yentroc: sorry your guy is sick Nora just got over a cold, and it was really sad and worrisome. I hope he is better soon and you're getting a little more sleep.

7 weeks.

She finally had a bath this weekend! We just could never find a time to do it! She was totally neutral, didn't love it or hate it! And her hair got all puffy, he he he.

Getting some smiles! They are still pretty vague and infrequent, and it's so cute how it seems to take her so much effort; she frowns and stares at us, and finally her upper lip stiffens and eventually the whole thing comes along!

4 yo still driving me bonkers

Horrible night's sleep last night. I truly don't know how I"m doing what I do every day on the amount of sleep I'm getting. It's truly a miracle I'm able to function at all.

Feeling like I'm getting closer to DTD...my body feels ok to do it, but I don't have any real desire. I have more of a desire to be close again and start to rebuild our relationship other than just constantly caring for kids and doing housework (both of us). That is, IF little girl will ever be put down! That is really what's stopping us!

Don't fit in any clothes, which is really depressing. I"m only 10# over my normal weight, which I know is totally normal and fine. But the practical concern is that it's 25 degrees out and I have no clothes to wear! And no way to shop with 3 kids in tow, and no computer time to shop online! I am wearing the same pair of jeans every day, and alternating 3 shirts, only one of which fits!
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Old 02-01-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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Thoughts: I ordered a Babyhawk mei tai and am so excited to try it. Ds loves the Moby but sometimes I think he's getting tired of being so squished by it. And he's doing this thing where he sticks his little head out of it and I have to use my hand to support his head, so it's not exactly "hands free".
I have the babyhawk
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Old 02-01-2010, 02:35 PM
 
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Name: Nina & Elliot

Baby's age:8w

Milestones/Updates:
No milestones, but Elliot is getting bigger and stronger all the time. His head control is improving and he can roll from tummy to back.

Thoughts:
DH and I DTD last week. Hope it gets better after the first time Tomorrow is the moment of truth when I will step on the scale at the gym after a week of loosely following a workout program and eating a little better. If I don't lose weight within 2 weeks I am getting a trainer to design my program and going on Weight Watchers. Not that I can afford either of those things. The money thing overall is getting kind of depressing now that I'm on mat leave. Even most of my mom friends are in a completely different income bracket. Or debt bracket?

DD has been making me crazy but I'm having some luck with the strategies in Honey I Wrecked the Kids. I haven't lectured or nagged since Friday. I dont' know if it's helping her behavior overall but I am in a better mood.
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Old 02-01-2010, 04:45 PM
 
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Name: Liz / Finn

Baby's age: 7 weeks on thursday

Thoughts: I didn't really like my ob and still have not made an appointment for my 6 week check up... Am feeling pretty good though, aside from the not-fitting-into-clothes thing. Yeah, that does suck. Especially since I have not been able to make time to walk or exercise. I did take out a yoga dvd from the library but it has just been sitting there. Also, I have been sick for a week and it seems like my little babe has a stuffy nose now too. I really hope he does not get my cough and congestion! Because of all the good healthy antibodies in breastmilk I was half considering downing a shot of it each morning!
I too am having issues getting in the mood to dtd... Husband really wants to. He keeps looking at my boobs with eyes popping out of his skull and it just makes me ill. I wish I felt more desire and less like a receptacle. I guess it takes time but ugh!
Anyway - I adore the baby and that is what matters most to me right now. I read on the november board that someone is already pregnant there!! Yikes!! I really hate birth control and wish I could sit back and let nature happen (assuming I ever get over my breast issues!) but I don't want to chance another pregnancy when all I want to do is love my new baby.

If you want to sound wise, go to school. If you want to be wise, go to nature.
My 3 sons! 8/92, 1/97 & 12/09!!
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Old 02-01-2010, 04:45 PM
 
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So I'm hitting that 6 wk mark when DH is starting to look at me and want to DTD... I really really really am not interested. I remember being this way after dd was born too. I'm just too tired and flabby and this time I think I might have some prolapse issues going on so just not feeling right in the nether regions...
Yeap thats me too. DH and I have DTD a few times and each time its been uncomfortable. I hate it actually, it makes me pretty sad.. I actually just started to call it physical therapy because I find I am totally dreading the whole thing Its bad enough the sex sucks/is painful but it only adds fuel to the fire I feel and look really, as my DH says, 'mushy'

It does get better at some point PP? Or will PP sex/body image always suck?

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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Old 02-01-2010, 06:01 PM
 
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Name: carmel and baby nico

Baby's age: nico is now seven weeks old!

Milestones/Updates: he's just a snuggly sweet little bear. I love the sounds he makes. Sometimes his little chin quivers and shakes and it is so friggin cute.

Thoughts: we just all got over a nasty stomach flu. I got it and just stayed in bed all day yesterday. The baby seemed fine, he just slept a lot with me and nursed a lot. His papa took him when he wanted to be up and hang out. My oldest son had it the worst, he was sick from friday night until last night. Second son was fine through it all, but was just totally bored and ignored poor guy. My dd was sick, but it didn't really slow her down.

I think the hardest part of being sick (besides just being sick) is not being able to take care of everyone.

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Old 02-01-2010, 06:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Carmel - Glad to hear you are all better. The stomach flu is one of the illnesses I dread the most.

IH - The body image after birth thing is really personal. It did get better for me after I learned to accept I will never have the body I used to have pre-kids without surgery. Even when I was down to 102 lbs and fitting in a size 2, I still had the saggy skin and stretch marks. It took 2 kids for me to get to that point of acceptance. Currently, I am still 4 sizes above my pre-pregnancy size. It annoys me a bit, but I try not to focus on it. I do still feel sexy. Not sure if that has come with age or just a lowering of my personal expectations. My DH thinks I look good and that's what matters.

Cortney - My DH has a BabyHawk and we love it.

We first DTD again at 5 weeks PP. The first time was downright uncomfortable, but it has gotten MUCH better after that. My sex drive is actually back in full swing now.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:02 PM
 
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re: body image. I really like this poem:

antithesis

I am large in my skin
I make no apology
This belly grew three babies
Why should it be flat?
It curves with the memory of the womb.
These breasts fed three babies
Why should they be pert?
They swell with the memory of milk.
These hips carried three children
Why should they be slim?
They are full with the memory of life.
My bones are secret under flesh
My skin plump and white and fine
Mine is the face of Botticelli
Mine is the water of the Nile
Mine is the shape of things forbidden
Daughter of Gaia, grown beautiful and wild.
~Lorri Barrier
(poem published in Mothering Magazine, Sept/Oct 08)
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:30 PM
 
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I feel and look really, as my DH says, 'mushy'
He said WHAT??? And you don't want to DTD with him? Shocker.

To actually answer your question... the PP body image issues went away for me after DD when I toned up. Losing the weight itself didn't do that much for me. I'll never look like I used to before any babies, but as long as I've put the effort into the things I can control, I feel good.
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:54 PM
 
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Yeap thats me too. DH and I have DTD a few times and each time its been uncomfortable. I hate it actually, it makes me pretty sad.. I actually just started to call it physical therapy because I find I am totally dreading the whole thing Its bad enough the sex sucks/is painful but it only adds fuel to the fire I feel and look really, as my DH says, 'mushy'

It does get better at some point PP? Or will PP sex/body image always suck?
YES it does get better. Like PPs said, you do just change your view of your body a bit but things do get to a more attractive state. Well, I can speak for one baby, but after two? I'm not so sure. I got TONS of stretch marks this time and didn't get any with dd. So my belly is basically ruined for bikinis this summer.

mumma to sweet 7 year old girl
and darling 2 year old guy

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Old 02-01-2010, 09:55 PM
 
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Carmel, glad you're feeling better, the stomach stuff is my worst nightmare. Ick. Sorry you guys went thru it and glad baby didn't get it.

mumma to sweet 7 year old girl
and darling 2 year old guy

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Old 02-01-2010, 09:56 PM
 
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For those of you using the Babyhawk, do your little ones like it when used froggy legged? That's how you have to use it at this age, right?

mumma to sweet 7 year old girl
and darling 2 year old guy

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Old 02-01-2010, 10:03 PM
 
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Awaken... that is a beautiful poem! I think I'll post it in my blog to remind myself of those things when I need to.

Brief update.... babe is napping on my chest and about due for a feeding.

LO is 6 weeks today! We've got great head control now and she's spending more time awake, looking around. We still fuss from 9-11pm, but DH and I are finding more ways to manage it. Last night she went a whole 4 hours sleeping!

I LOVE co-sleeping! OMG, I never want to give it up, and I know I'll have to eventually. I not only love it for the convenience of breastfeeding while lying down, but I just *adore* her sleeping with us. She's gotten to the point where when she's done BF, she'll pop off and lie her head on my breast like it's a pillow, and go to sleep like that. It's just too adorable, and makes Mommy feel so loved.

I'm a bit frustrated -- even after my D&C and being 6 weeks pp, I only have had one day where I haven't had some spotting. And a few days after my OB appointment, I started bleeding again. This is day 3 where I've had to wear a pad instead of just a pantiliner, and it's bright red/pink instead of the brown it was earlier. Could this possibly be my period already? Even though I'm BF?

Oh, and half way through my maternity leave. I could just cry, thinking about leaving her at daycare. :*(

Living Angel Baby Born 12/21/09
Three angels watching over us.
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Old 02-01-2010, 10:05 PM
 
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Name: Cloud and Nimbus

Baby's age: 10 weeks, 2 days

Milestones/Updates: Thrush! I hate it! The nystatin seems to not work for us (I just read something about it only working for 40% of the time because yeast has become resistant to it), so now the doctor has prescribed topical Diflucan for Nimbus. The triage nurse I talked to says they don't go right for that because it affects other systems, but she never answered my question about what the side effects for a baby actually were and Google is failing me. *sigh* I'll have DH ask the pharmacist when he gets the prescription, but the pharmacist didn't seem to know much about the nystatin for a baby, so...blah. I'm better, but I can't tell whether or not I'm 100%. My course of Diflucan ended on Thursday. I'm considering starting on GSE again, just so I'm getting some sort of treatment while Nimbus is still getting treated, and also stepping up my probiotic intake and maybe mixing some with water to put on my nipples, but it's one of those things where I'm afraid of overloading him with stuff between his own prescription and my breastmilk.

Also, I think the delicious bean stew DH made a bucketful of last night gave Nimbus wicked gas last night. It was so tasty, but I don't dare eat it again now, since I think the gas was keeping him from sleeping easily last night.

Otherwise, life is good. Breastfeeding is easy now, other than the whole thrush thing. Still have some nipple pain, which is why I'm not sure the thrush is gone on my end of things, but it's so, so much less than it was, and mostly not the burning kind of pain, so it could be latch issues still. Nimbus is rolling from his back to his side and back again all the time now, and is getting really close to rolling from his tummy to his back. He's got awesome head control. I can't wait until he can hold it up himself. Before it was because I was nervous about it when I was holding him, but now it's just for watching certain of his grandparents holding him. At least they support his head from going backward, but they don't quite share my concern for supporting his chin.

Out of lack of time to reply to other threads, I'll say here that Nimbus is another drooler. He's been drooling more and more for the past few weeks, and munching on "knuckle sandwiches" as I've been calling them. It may be teething, I think, though I also read something about their saliva production starting to come online around this time or something, so it might be just that? I wish I remembered the things I read better, especially things like where I read them!

Thoughts: Nimbus has his nights and days seriously mixed up now, and I'm kind of at a loss of how to change that. He mostly sleeps from 4 am to 2-4 pm, then is mostly awake from 4 pm to 4 am, without taking any long naps during that time. My efforts to get him to go to sleep for the night before he's ready aren't working so well. I start trying to get him to stay asleep in the cosleeper after every feeding after midnight, but he knows when it's not his preferred bedtime yet. I guess all I can do is be persistent. Part of the problem is that *I* want to sleep more after we wake up the first time in the morning, so I don't have a lot of incentive to try to keep him awake until it's time for an afternoon nap. Then there comes a day like today where he didn't really want to sleep again, and Mommy seriously needed to...and then the doctor's office decided to call as soon as he'd drifted off.

Can you tell I'm cranky today?

I'm awfully squishy now around the middle. My stretch marks didn't appear until after the birth. I think it would have been nicer to have them have shown up before, since that's when I was expecting them, than after when I thought I was in the clear. I can wear some of my normal pants, but they're all fat pants/ones I bought before I started really showing, so mostly I still wear my maternity jeans because I think they're comfy. I'm having more of a problem finding tops to wear. I'm mostly still wearing maternity shirts for the length and extra boob room, but I don't have many long sleeved ones and it's cold here. I've been really wanting to exercise, with more of an urge to do it than I've had in years, but I'm still working on getting food into my mouth.

I don't know how I feel about my body yet, really. So far, I don't really care...the mommy role has taken over my brain for the moment, and being kind of squishy seems convenient for the baby taking naps on me. I don't like the stretch marks, and I don't like my stretched out belly button. It seems like you could fill it with water and go swimming in there. DH seems to think I'm still hot, though his taste has always been suspect to me because he pretty much always thinks I'm hot.

Cloud, mommy to her happy little Nimbus, born 11/09!
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Old 02-02-2010, 12:01 AM
 
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For those of you using the Babyhawk, do your little ones like it when used froggy legged? That's how you have to use it at this age, right?
Elliot is OK with it if I put him in already asleep. Otherwise he just tries to stand up in it and then his head hangs awkwardly over the edge. Right now I have him in my Maya Wrap a lot more. I think I'll use the babyhawk more around 6mo when they start getting wiggly and you want to use the back carry.
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Old 02-02-2010, 02:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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For those of you using the Babyhawk, do your little ones like it when used froggy legged? That's how you have to use it at this age, right?
Everett does not mind the froggy legs at all. He does try to stand up from time to time. They are too little to have both feet out of the BH at this point unless you don't mind squeezing the material on the bottom together.

Doclegs: Yay on the sleep! I got my period back at 7 weeks PP after DD was born. We exclusively BFed around the clock and she was never given a paci or anything other than boob to suck on. So far this time I stopped bleeding at 5 weeks and it's 9 weeks tomorrow and no AF yet. I'm hoping AF holds off for several more months this time around.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 02-02-2010, 03:15 AM
 
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H. doesn't usually mind his legs froggied in his mei tai - if he complains, I walk around and show him things and he calms down. However, he complains enough that I suspect he'll be much happier when he can straddle me.

Name: Henry

Baby's age: 6 weeks adjusted/3 months actual

Milestones/Updates: H. turns over from his tummy to his back, is obsessed with standing, and is more and more social every day- smiling, cooing, trying to attract your attention. For anyone who, like me, had a rough transition into momhood: it gets so much better once they get interactive! Take heart!

Thoughts: his daddy is TDY right now, and we're going to visit him in a few weeks. I am excited for this because of getting to see my husband, and of course so that my husband can see his son (who has grown and changed so much in just the month he's been away!) and MOSTLY, I must admit, because the odds that I'll get a shower every day will go way, way up.

Emotionally, I feel much steadier these days, much more optimistic. Yay for better nighttime sleep! I usually get one 4+hour stretch at the beginning of the night and then a couple of shorter ones after that. It's hard to imagine that once upon a time, as a single, childless girl, I would have found the idea of a four-hour stretch of sleep pretty pathetic.

Physically, I still feel kind of like a slug. It's so hard for me to be spending the winter in a climate that basically prohibits leaving the house with a newborn. I mean, yes, I could drive to the mall and walk around with him there, but... I don't like malls. I DO like to take long walks outside. But it's such a production to get us both sufficiently bundled up that most days I just give up.

I'm really hoping that this gets better! In semi-desperation, I've started doing the 100 Pushups routine. I need exercise to feel sane. I don't even care if I never lose the baby weight, man!

Science-loving mama to one little guy (11/09).
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Old 02-02-2010, 03:42 PM
 
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I LOVE co-sleeping! OMG, I never want to give it up, and I know I'll have to eventually. I not only love it for the convenience of breastfeeding while lying down, but I just *adore* her sleeping with us. She's gotten to the point where when she's done BF, she'll pop off and lie her head on my breast like it's a pillow, and go to sleep like that. It's just too adorable, and makes Mommy feel so loved.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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Old 02-02-2010, 04:19 PM
 
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Name: Linos and Addie
Baby's age: 7weeks1day
Milestones/Updates: We had our first post-birth '6 week' check up today (a week late but whatever.. He is 24 inches long and almost 14 lbs at 7 weeks!!! He had his hips checked and we told the Doctor we're heading to Bhutan in September to trek with DS.. which she took surprisingly well
Thoughts: Hopefully this doesn't jinx things but everything has gotten much easier the last 2 weeks. We are really getting used to being parents and everything is starting to feel manageable now . DH is really responding and doing 110% amazing now that DS has started to smile and react to him Its made me a lot less stressed (wow that sounds co-dependent).. I also went on the first PP run which felt comfortable and I came home after 30 mins feeling amazing and able to handle everything again.

Oh and DS got his passport in the mail today so he's officially a dual citizen!! and our trip last week to Vienna (6 hours away) went off without a hitch, DS is so easy to travel with..

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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Old 02-02-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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I need exercise to feel sane. I don't even care if I never lose the baby weight, man!


I can go for walks with her on the days when it's not too cold, but that's less than half of them... and some days i'm just too tired or have too much work.

my yoga class is too long (3 hours door to door) and no one but DH can keep her happy/asleep for that long. she's refused bottles, screaming, from MIL and now my aunt when i was only gone 2 hours and they couldn't keep her asleep/happy and got desperate. I suppose that's good because I am so worried about nipple confusion (having had it myself because I had too many bottles too soon and stopped BFing at 2.5 months). But I'm going to have to get good at taking her for walks, doing some yoga at home and slowly coordinating with DH working yoga class into my schedule first once and then (down the road) twice a week, until maybe eventually I can move it back up to 3 times a week, which is good for my sanity.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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Old 02-02-2010, 05:06 PM
 
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Yes - the door-to-door thing is totally annoying. When my husband was here, I tried to go to the gym, but the longest I could realistically expect him to be okay without wanting to eat meant a measly 30 min on the treadmill. And pumping enough milk to leave a feeding's worth of milk in a bottle would mean pumping three times, and I'm too lazy.

Ah, well. It's February, and winter doesn't last forever. I never thought I would want a stroller (I don't have any philosophical objections, they just seem cumbersome) but now I am kind of fantasizing about a jogging stroller, come springtime.

Science-loving mama to one little guy (11/09).
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Old 02-02-2010, 05:13 PM
 
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Name: Mana/Rassa

Baby's age: 8 weeks tomorrow

Milestones/Updates: Her ezcema is slowly flaking off (after applications of olive oil). Her gas is over all less but still more on some days than others. Her poo is mostly yellow now though (instead of green). She seems to be really prefering me and DH and still needs to be held all the time (or sleeping cuddled up next one of us). I have managed to get her to stay in the bouncy chair for 10-20 minutes at a time now that she is acknowledging the existence of mobiles. She's drolling and chewing/sucking on her hands. And my nipples - ouch! We went to a LC last week to work on the bad latch issues we were having after allergies, head cold and unknowingly having thrush for 4 weeks. Of course when we were there, she did everything perfectly and the LC looked at me like I was nuts. Great. At least I got reassured that she is getting enough to eat... she was 9lbs 8 oz a week ago, up from 5lbs 14 oz at her lowest weight. On Friday, at our 6 wk PP visit with the midwives, she was 9lbs 12 oz. So at least that's OK.

I am not sure if we are thrush free, but things seem alot better. I did managed to "burn" us with the last application of Gentian violet - she was going through a growth spurt and kept wanting more boob and I had to switch sides and she just got more in her mouth than previous applications. there is a scabbed over line around the rim of her lips and she acted like it hurt to nurse the day after. I felt like such a bad mom! One of my nipples also seems to get a bit burned and now it really hurts to nurse her on it... great.

We go to a homeopathic ped tomorrow (not her regular one, though I might switch even though it would cost more and it's harder to get to) to consult about allergies, thrush, etc - I have so many questions and she's just had so many things piled on top of each other that I want to talk to someone who is going to take the whole picture into view.

Thoughts: I'm feeling really good about using the money I would pay to a nanny to get support for house work and to focus my energy on R. She just has alot of needs and is very sensitive and I don't see why she and I should be miserable because no one else can do what needs to be done for her.

Her sleep is totally hit or miss. Some nights she sleeps better than others. Some nights I get more sleep than others. I'm resigned. But I'm a bit cranky, which made it hard to deal with my MIL last week. But I was nice and I am so proud of myself...

As for DTD, since we've had guests in our tiny apartment for 5 out of the last 8 weeks, we've not had privacy. Add sleep deprivation and all of R's issues in and there has been no time. Frankly, I feel zero interest in terms of lust, though I would like to be close to DH. I asked DH and he said he'd like to try after everyone leaves, but hasn't been too bad off without it. He says he wants sleep more than sex, which I totally agree with. Most of the time I feel really lucky that he's so devoted to R and takes this partnership so seriously. And that he makes me feel so hot physically without crowding my space (and ladies, I haven't dealt with my leg hair since week 37 of pregnancy). I guess I just wish he was a litle more available to me emotionally. But battening down the hatches that way is how he gets through stressful periods.

I better not get AF because I bled for 5 weeks and that's like 5 months of periods in the bank. It just would not be fair to get it any time soon. We're totally using BC right off the bat (condoms) because all you have to do to the women in my family is look at them funny and we get pregnant. too many have gotten pregnant way too soon and I don't want to deal with that.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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Old 02-02-2010, 08:26 PM
 
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gave DS my iphone to play with so I could type and drink some tea for a minute I'm desperate!!

Thrush : Have you all seen Dr. Newman's Candida Protocol? http://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Candida-Protocol.asp It's step-by-step, what to use, at which dosage, in which order. I hope those with issues start resolving soon and you're more comfortable!

What been on my mind is, at 7 weeks I still feel like everything is out of control and a total mess. I can barely ever cook, and unless someone brings us food (which at some point soon, I'm sure will end!) we eat frozen dinners. The house is a mess. I'm getting way less sleep now than I did when she was first born, so physically and emotionally I'm so much worse off than I was at the beginning when I was just excited to have a new baby and a girl. The daily reality of 3 kids, preschool commuting, homeschooling, and the bazillion responsibilities that I have, all on a few hours' sleep a night is just wearing me down. And Dh and I barely have a relationship right now, because of his work schedule he gets home late, in time to put the kids to bed, and by the time he's done, it's time for ME to go to bed, or he falls asleep with DS so I don't see him at all until he's on his way out the door in the morning.

I feel like at this point, I should be more "together". I know, in the scheme of things, 7 weeks is not long at all! But it seems like "everyone else" has it together at this point, is sleeping better, having more of a life with their partners, settling into a routine....and I feel like things are so out of control and crazy.

The great thing is that the baby herself is wonderful. No issues with nursing now, she is sweet, and basically comes along with us whatever we do. She does have fussy times, which makes it hard to put the kids to bed when she's crying and frantically nursing, and cries in the car a lot which is really stressful, but overall, she's the least of our issues!
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Old 02-02-2010, 08:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mary Do you think you might have PDD? Maybe not everyone has everything together like you think they do. I certainly didn't at 2 months with DD. I could barely function then and was much worse off than the first month when she actually slept. This time around I have absolutely NO expectations of myself. We have not gone back into our regular homeschooling routine yet. Part of me feels like I should, but I'm really trying to take things slowly. DS1 is only 7 so it's not like college is around the corner or anything. It won't hurt him to take it easy for a few more weeks (or even months). Some nights I sleep fairly well and wake up ready to face the world. Other mornings I don't want to get out of bed. I have started cooking again, but definitely not making gourmet meals. We are still eating a lot of frozen foods. DH is also still handling a lot of the household responsibilities. My in-laws were in town this past week. At 2 months PP, I think they were already expecting me to play hostess. I didn't. Instead I just concentrated on babycare. DH was distracted with having them here so all meals ran 3 hours late. Whenever the kids would complain about being hungry, I sent them to ask DH. If I was hungry, I fixed myself something quick. Sorry, I don't feel like I should be here to entertain anyone right now.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 02-02-2010, 10:10 PM
 
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I feel like at this point, I should be more "together". I know, in the scheme of things, 7 weeks is not long at all! But it seems like "everyone else" has it together at this point, is sleeping better, having more of a life with their partners, settling into a routine....and I feel like things are so out of control and crazy.

The great thing is that the baby herself is wonderful. No issues with nursing now, she is sweet, and basically comes along with us whatever we do. She does have fussy times, which makes it hard to put the kids to bed when she's crying and frantically nursing, and cries in the car a lot which is really stressful, but overall, she's the least of our issues!

no, no--give yourself a year, mama. A full year, and then check to see if things are together. Seriously, because as soon as the gas goes away, its time for teething, and then its growth spurts, etc.

I don't expect to be together in any sense until the baby is a year-old, and then I've read that the postpartum period really lasts until baby is 2.

So as long as your baby is happy, growing, and your big kids are getting where they need to go, etc. then you are doing alright, mama!

And have you read 'the baby is the lesson,' over at the homeschooling board about how when you are hs-ing with a baby, the baby is the lesson? When we had to take my oldest ds out of school and hs for a bit, that really helped me. hang in there!

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Old 02-02-2010, 10:12 PM
 
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This time around I have absolutely NO expectations of myself..


seriously, lower your expectations if you are habitually disappointed

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Old 02-02-2010, 10:27 PM
 
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Mary Do you think you might have PDD? Maybe not everyone has everything together like you think they do. I certainly didn't at 2 months with DD. I could barely function then and was much worse off than the first month when she actually slept. This time around I have absolutely NO expectations of myself. We have not gone back into our regular homeschooling routine yet. Part of me feels like I should, but I'm really trying to take things slowly. DS1 is only 7 so it's not like college is around the corner or anything. It won't hurt him to take it easy for a few more weeks (or even months). Some nights I sleep fairly well and wake up ready to face the world. Other mornings I don't want to get out of bed. I have started cooking again, but definitely not making gourmet meals. We are still eating a lot of frozen foods. DH is also still handling a lot of the household responsibilities. My in-laws were in town this past week. At 2 months PP, I think they were already expecting me to play hostess. I didn't. Instead I just concentrated on babycare. DH was distracted with having them here so all meals ran 3 hours late. Whenever the kids would complain about being hungry, I sent them to ask DH. If I was hungry, I fixed myself something quick. Sorry, I don't feel like I should be here to entertain anyone right now.
I meant to ask you how that visit went. Except for their ridiculous expectation that you be hostess, did it go OK?

Awaken - I am SO not together. You are not the only one.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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Old 02-02-2010, 11:20 PM
 
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Count me as another one who doesn't have things remotely together yet. I'm sitting here in my pj's at 5 pm, just realizing that maybe I should brush my hair and teeth before DH comes home. At 10.5 weeks PP, all I do is sleep, nurse, change diapers, do baby laundry and play with Nimbus. DH does all the cooking and cleaning and brings me food and water when he's home. All other meals are hit or miss, mostly miss. All the time I spend with DH is when he joins us on the couch to watch TV through the all evening cluster feed. But sometimes he'll be busy with taxes every evening for a week or something and I'm pretty much alone, which gets me down after too many nights in a row. We're starting a weekly new moms group next week, and I'm dreading having to get us out the door in the morning, not to mention the requirement to eventually host one of the meetings at my house (yikes!). And I just have the baby to deal with...I'm trying not to think about what it'll be like to try to manage this with a toddler in tow next time around.

I second the lowering expectations advice...it's the only thing keeping me sane. I often feel like I should have work out how to get a few more things done in the day, or leave the housemore ever, but then I remember that keeping things calm and consistent for Nimbus is way more important than stressing us out trying to do more.

I've been getting a little exercise by stretching and moving a bit while we do tummy time. It occurred to me that his crib railing is a lot like a ballet barre. . It's amazing how much a little stretching helps.

Cloud, mommy to her happy little Nimbus, born 11/09!
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