How are we suppose to get it on - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 02-07-2010, 12:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How do you DTD with a 2 month old baby who almost never wants to be put down and sleeps in the bed with you. Not just sleeps in the bed, but likes to be cuddled up to one of you. If I put her down for than 15 minutes at a time (sometimes less) she gets upset. And I need that 15 minutes for things other than sex.

We've yet to DTD and we're both dying but are not sure how to proceed. I've thought about lulling her to bed and then scooting over to the other side of the bed (we have a thin, hard mattress on the floor) and proceeding. Of course by the end of the day I pass out the minute I get into bed...

How do you manage to still have sex after babies and co-sleeping?

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#2 of 17 Old 02-07-2010, 12:32 PM
 
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How do you manage to still have sex after babies and co-sleeping?
Pretty much like this...
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I've thought about lulling her to bed and then scooting over to the other side of the bed
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Of course by the end of the day I pass out the minute I get into bed...
Sometimes it is easier if I wake up in the middle of the night after a few hours of sleep, rather than trying to do it at bedtime when I am exhausted.

When they are a bit older we sometimes will put them in one of those saucer seat things where they can entertain themselves for a little while.

ETA: Sorry, didn't realize this was in the DDC thread. My youngest is 14mo but this is pretty much what we've done with all of them.
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#3 of 17 Old 02-07-2010, 02:17 PM
 
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PM me if you really want to know. LOL

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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#4 of 17 Old 02-07-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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*ducking* ...at least you want to get it on!!

If you want to sound wise, go to school. If you want to be wise, go to nature.
My 3 sons! 8/92, 1/97 & 12/09!!
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#5 of 17 Old 02-07-2010, 05:03 PM
 
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Um, yes. We basically nurse him down, roll him to the outside edge of the bed (with a pillow bumper), and, you know, proceed.

There are interruptions. You have to learn to think of them as comedic, when you're taking a five-minute break right in the middle to nurse your baby back to sleep.

Science-loving mama to one little guy (11/09).
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#6 of 17 Old 02-07-2010, 06:42 PM
 
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Pretty much what everyone else said (and also what envinmom will probably say in her PM... ). We just try to get him to sleep and move him out of the way a bit. Sometimes "a bit" is to the edge of the bed, sometimes it isn't quite so far away.

But, yesterday I laid him down in his cradle when he was sound asleep (which is usually a recipe for a full-fledged scream-fest) and he stayed put and we got the whole bed to ourselves!! We got to do it TWICE in a row!!! It was awesome!!

On another note, I bought him a sheepskin, which he seems to love and it is the ONLY way he will sleep on his own, even for a few minutes. I do let him sleep on his stomach during the day though as back sleeping is also a recipe for screaming! I SO wish I had tried a sheepskin with my other 2... it makes a world of difference!

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#7 of 17 Old 02-08-2010, 11:22 AM
 
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LOL, Di Linh, you have me really curious now!! I want to know your tricks!

When DS1 was a baby, it was ridiculous- he was a terrible sleeper and could never be put down. Every.single.time. we made any sort of move towards doing it, he would wail. I started keeping a tally to see how many times we could be interrupted and I gave up at around 15 different occasions.

Definitely have had to nurse/rock babies back to sleep in the middle many times! One time we remember well, we put him in the dog bed near us because it was warm and soft and we could move it out of the way!
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#8 of 17 Old 02-08-2010, 05:03 PM
 
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We haven't yet. This baby is the worst so far for not staying asleep alone. He drifts off no problem in the car, though, so I'm considering buying a bouncy seat.

In the past, We've put the baby down somewhere else (like a playpen or another bed) or gone somewhere else ourselves.

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#9 of 17 Old 02-08-2010, 06:31 PM
 
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Ugh. I'm too tired. Even if he does let me lay him down in the bassenet, I'm out before the clock changes. oops, he's crying again...

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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#10 of 17 Old 02-08-2010, 06:39 PM
 
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#11 of 17 Old 02-08-2010, 08:19 PM
 
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This is why baby starts the night in the moses basket. Not that I actually stay awake long enough for sex, but if I did, that would be when/where. Or the shower.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#12 of 17 Old 02-09-2010, 10:56 AM
 
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How do you manage to still have sex after babies and co-sleeping?
We could, I just haven't wanted to much lately- ok at all.... When we have tried DTD its so uncomfortable for me, I don't enjoy it.. and I just want it to end add to that being exhausted and having a DH whos a night owl, a body image thats in the toliet and well yah..

When we do DTD its usually as soon as DS falls asleep, we figure we have 10 mins and lately thats about all we need.

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#13 of 17 Old 02-09-2010, 12:35 PM
 
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I am actually not interested in it right now and like other mommas, if I can manage to get the kids to sleep I'm too beat and just fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. Despite my lack of desire, dh is full fledged and that's about all he wants right now and very frequently so we have to try to find SOME time to take care of his needs. During the day its difficult because well we have 3 kids and my mom is living with us... so its not like we can put a movie on and lock the two oldest out of the room for 10 min. and even if we could do that theres no guarantee that the baby would actually nap...

Ugh I just want some ME time, forget about sex. Anyone else feeling just done with being physically used? I feel like at every moment someone wants to use my body for something, both of the girls want the breast to nurse, hubby wants to get some, and ds wants to cuddle with the only part of me that is always free, my legs.

I'm hoping to get more free time today I plan to make some more diapers, go figure that is my release, my hobby, ahhh it makes me feel sane again to be able to sew!

Wow I went waaay off topic...

Nichole, wife to Kris SAHM to Timothy : :10-11-03, Hosanna , Seraphim 8-17-08 : caught by Grandma! Faith 1-4-10 : Caught by Daddy!
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#14 of 17 Old 02-09-2010, 12:55 PM
 
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DDCC!

The only place my DD would sleep (besides with us) was in the swing and in the car. Sometimes we would just take her for a car ride, then leave her in the bucket seat when we got home. Then we would proceed with our "activities."

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#15 of 17 Old 02-11-2010, 01:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lalemma View Post


Um, yes. We basically nurse him down, roll him to the outside edge of the bed (with a pillow bumper), and, you know, proceed.

There are interruptions. You have to learn to think of them as comedic, when you're taking a five-minute break right in the middle to nurse your baby back to sleep.

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#16 of 17 Old 02-11-2010, 01:27 AM
 
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Wow. Reading this thread just got me horny. lol

First-time mama due on Dec 3rd 2009!
Update: Baby girl born Nov 19th!
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#17 of 17 Old 02-11-2010, 11:07 AM
 
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LOL!! I was wondering how other co-sleeping families do it!! We got LO to nap in her crib for a whole 30 minutes the other day, that should be long enough, right?

Living Angel Baby Born 12/21/09
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