What things about your baby did you not expect? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 17 Old 02-12-2010, 07:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Especially for moms with other children (but for first time moms, too!)... what surprised you about this baby? Are there things that you didn't expect about this LO that caught you by surprise? Did your other babies do things that you just expected this one to do by default?

Personally, I am really surprised that Ciaran doesn't nurse to sleep! Both DS1 and DD fell asleep practically every time they nursed! This time it is like my breastmilk is crammed with caffeine! LOL! I don't have ANY caffeine in my diet and VERY little sugar so I know i'm not hyping him up. He hardly ever falls asleep at the boob. Even when he does he wakes up right after. When I put him to sleep it has to be on my chest and I have to bounce him gently until he passes out. It is strange! I want some of those sleep milk-drunk smiles!!!

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#2 of 17 Old 02-12-2010, 07:32 PM
 
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OMG that's so funny! When I read the title, the first thing that came to my mind was "it's so strange that Griffin doesn't nurse to sleep" It's the same thing here... he'll fall asleep but as soon as the nipple is out of his mouth, he's wide awake and then I have to burp him on my chest and pat him until he's asleep. It makes co-sleeping a little difficult... but on the other hand, dd was TOTALLY dependent on nursing to sleep and didn't sleep through the night until I nightweaned her at almost two. So maybe it means we'll sleep sooner!!

mumma to sweet 7 year old girl
and darling 2 year old guy

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#3 of 17 Old 02-12-2010, 07:55 PM
 
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My DD didn't fall asleep nursing either. DS1 and Everett do. Although Everett is also like DD in that he doesn't sleep as soundly as DS1 did. I guess I'm surprised by the fact that Everett seems to be a combination of both my older two kids. Physically as well. Most of the other stuff - reflux, allergies, needing to be held all the time I was expecting. Since DD was such a challenging baby, I just figured Everett might be too. That way I wouldn't be disappointed if he was challenging and I was expecting easy.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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#4 of 17 Old 02-13-2010, 02:37 AM
 
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OMG I was going to post something very similar. Elliot does nurse to sleep but he also can fall asleep just put down. I never would have suspected it but I left him on our bed while putting on my PJs and there it is - magic! So far he is a way better sleeper than DD was but I know better than to get cocky before teething.
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#5 of 17 Old 02-13-2010, 04:27 PM
 
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His dark hair, he''s so BIG! He's 7 weeks old and I just packed away all of his 0-3 clothes and pulled out the 3-6 month stuff!

My other boys are small/skinny and blonde!

His food sencitivities, he's the only one in the family with them.

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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#6 of 17 Old 02-13-2010, 05:06 PM
 
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Maybe it is strange, but I am shocked by how much my heart swells out with this new baby... I loved the other two as well and guessed I'd have the same reaction the third time, but wow - I just ADORE him!!!

If you want to sound wise, go to school. If you want to be wise, go to nature.
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#7 of 17 Old 02-13-2010, 07:59 PM
 
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how much of my time breastfeeding takes.. . I really had no idea.

I expected DS to sleep a lot less, Im surprised how much he sleeps

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#8 of 17 Old 02-14-2010, 01:10 PM
 
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I'm surprised at how hard this is, how around the clock. I didn't expect not to be able to put her down, or how hard breastfeeding would be. I did not expect her to refuse bottles.

I also sort of thought I'd have my body back more after pregnancy, but between her food intolerances, breastfeeding and her need to be held all the time, I'm able to eat less things, not able to go to yoga, and have very limited mobility and social life.

I also did not expect to love her so much or that I would willingly sacrifice all these things (but for intermittent melt downs). I just keep telling myself that alot of it is only for a few months and try to enjoy the joys...

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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#9 of 17 Old 02-14-2010, 03:04 PM
 
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Tattooed Hand Ive been having trouble with the 24/7 dependency thing and someone said to me something thats stuck "every day is one day closer to when they are totally independent from you, the dependency passes quickly"

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#10 of 17 Old 02-14-2010, 03:27 PM
 
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That is very true, ithappened... As someone w/two big teenagers I see it so clearly that it is a relatively short period. But, of course, this does not change exhaustion and overwhelmingness and everything else about mom constantly being on call. I am equally sad that my 17 y.o. thinks his family is boring and spends every weekend out as I am that the baby takes up all of me... It is crazy.

If you want to sound wise, go to school. If you want to be wise, go to nature.
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#11 of 17 Old 02-14-2010, 03:34 PM
 
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I feel silly talking about how overwhelming it is when so many of you have more than one...which is mind blowing to me.

I guess I am feeling a little sorry for myself too because in my family, everyone else lives near family and thus has help. We are alone here and and raising kids alone is just not in my culture, where closeness to families is the norm.

My family mostly lives in the LA area, which I totally hate, but lately find myself fantasizing about...

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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#12 of 17 Old 02-14-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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I expected this little guy to be more colicy, but he isn't. He does like to be held a lot, but will also sit in his bouncy chair and watch what's going on.

He has no problem with the bottle, which was a huge shock, because my dd hated bottles. But she did use a sippy cup as soon as she could sit up by herself... But Nico has no problem with the bottle. I am really pleasantly surprised about this, because then DH can care for him while I escape every once in awhile.

The biggest shock is how I didn't expect my big kids to adjust to him so quickly, and really love him. Especially my dd, who was very much 'the baby' of the family.

Lastly, I didn't expect to wrestle with my sense of self and identity so much (AGAIN!). I mean, this isn't my first child, nor my second, you know... you would think that this would be no big deal. But I really feel a sense of loss of self-- despite my totally being in love with baby and my big kids... its weird, its like two conflicting emotions simultaneously.

It might just be a PPD thing, like a sense of 'not being/doing enough.' So I'm trying to just ignore it.

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#13 of 17 Old 02-14-2010, 03:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand View Post

My family mostly lives in the LA area, which I totally hate, but lately find myself fantasizing about...
I'm sure a 2 week visit will kill that fantasy.

Just kidding, but I have those similar feelings, and then I go for a 2 week visit, and at the end of it, I'm so happy to return to my progressive island.

We were the first in our group of friends to have kids, too, so not only were we away from family, but none of our friends were at this stage in life, so it was very isolating... But when I look back on those days, I am really happy for them. They were truly happy, sweet days. I just see how much we loved each other, and how much DH loved us

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#14 of 17 Old 02-14-2010, 09:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand View Post
I'm surprised at how hard this is, how around the clock. I didn't expect not to be able to put her down
First timer here and YES. It's harder than any class I took in college or any challenging problem at work. It taxes me in a way that I can't even comprehend. What blew me away though was I left for 2 hrs to go to the followup MW appt, I took him from DH and was amazed and overwhelmed at my love for the little guy.

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#15 of 17 Old 02-15-2010, 09:15 AM
 
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I guess I am feeling a little sorry for myself too because in my family, everyone else lives near family and thus has help. We are alone here and and raising kids alone is just not in my culture, where closeness to families is the norm.
Yeah Im right there with you. I have daily pity parties because my family is 19 hours away by plane, our friends in the area where we live appear to be allergic to babies and my FIL who is 5 minutes away could care less and does nothing for us.. its really a struggle, especially knowing that if we lived near my parents we'd have 24 hour support.. it makes me feel like we're insane for not moving back to the US .. .

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#16 of 17 Old 02-15-2010, 01:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand View Post
I guess I am feeling a little sorry for myself too because in my family, everyone else lives near family and thus has help. We are alone here and and raising kids alone is just not in my culture, where closeness to families is the norm.

My family mostly lives in the LA area, which I totally hate, but lately find myself fantasizing about...
In the culture of my birth the entire family does help to raise children. Somedays I am sad about living hundreds of miles from all of our family. My sister lives within 15 minutes from everyone. Once her baby is born in spring, she will get all the offers for babysitting, meals, and support that we do not. Then I talk to my mother on Skype and she tries to tell me that I hold my baby "too much" and it isn't good for him. At times like that I'm glad we live hundreds of miles apart and the family can only give me unsolicitated advice on a limited basis. LOL When Gavin was a baby I remember being really annoyed that people could drop in whenever they felt like it without warning. It irritated me that everyone insisted I mother Gavin the way they wanted me to, not the way I wanted to. At least now I only have to put up with that once or twice a year.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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#17 of 17 Old 02-15-2010, 02:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by evinmom View Post
In the culture of my birth the entire family does help to raise children. Somedays I am sad about living hundreds of miles from all of our family. My sister lives within 15 minutes from everyone. Once her baby is born in spring, she will get all the offers for babysitting, meals, and support that we do not. Then I talk to my mother on Skype and she tries to tell me that I hold my baby "too much" and it isn't good for him. At times like that I'm glad we live hundreds of miles apart and the family can only give me unsolicitated advice on a limited basis. LOL When Gavin was a baby I remember being really annoyed that people could drop in whenever they felt like it without warning. It irritated me that everyone insisted I mother Gavin the way they wanted me to, not the way I wanted to. At least now I only have to put up with that once or twice a year.
This is so true. My mom already thinks I am spoiling R with how I take care of her. My aunt thinks we are just "nervous" first time parents (even though she screamed everytime my aunt held her because aunt was ALL up in her face). And that it's totally normal for babies to cry, and even good for them. Knowing that I'd probably not leave R with them anyway!

I just get tired and whiny sometimes. R woke up this morning at 5am, throwing up and with tummy pain. She is also congested and listless. Poor baby. And I have a deadline that I'm not going to make...it's times like this that I fantasize about something that probably doesn't exist...

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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