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Old 03-05-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ithappened View Post
10 weeks.

I think Im getting hit with PPD the last week or two. Feeling super alone and very overwhelmed. This mothering thing is exhausting- if only because I feel like I am 'on call' 24 hours a day and can never leave/plan/do anything. . .
.
I think we're twins in this.... LO is 10 1/2 weeks old and I've been struggling with PPD and anxiety over the last week. I finally contacted a colleague who has some expertise in this area and got some recommendations, and have increased my B -- also trying to get outside when the sun is shining, that helps.

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Originally Posted by evinmom
Just a little vent. I haven't been getting more than 1-2 hours of sleep at a time for weeks. Everett has been having a hard time with eczema and allergies. I do not do well with little sleep so I've been grumpy
Here too!! LO and I co-sleep, and she wants to nurse almost hourly at night because of gas issues, and when not nursing, she'll squirm and shift around and grunt. I've eliminated dairy and eggs, and not sure where else to go... wheat next, I guess.

I *begged* DH to sleep with her and let me sleep in the other room this morning, which he did... I got a whole hour and 15 minutes of sleep before she needed boob again, but at least it was a deep sleep. I'm sure that's half the reason I'm depressed.

10 weeks 4 days old here.... up to 11 pounds, we're still having green poop but at least it looks more yellow-ish and is back to being curdy.

Milestones? Found her fist this week and is chewing on it. Reaches out to try and grab things, maybe gets them 25% of the time. Not really wanting to sit up yet, but has great head/neck/upper body control and arches her back well. We're getting a floor playmat this week to try and encourage more physical development.

I'm *dreading* going back to work in a few weeks, and even though I've been pumping, I don't want to give her a bottle. We're just now starting trying to get her to take one! She HATES it, which I secretly love but I know it can't keep going this way or she'll starve at daycare. We invested all this money into Dr. Brown's bottles and if she won't take them, I don't know what we'll do. I also hate that the daycare only uses disposables.

I feel like the ONLY thing I do right is make milk (started pumping on Feb 16th to build a freezer stash and I already have about 130 oz frozen) and cuddle with her.

Living Angel Baby Born 12/21/09
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Old 03-05-2010, 04:01 PM
 
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I'm *dreading* going back to work in a few weeks, and even though I've been pumping, I don't want to give her a bottle. We're just now starting trying to get her to take one! She HATES it, which I secretly love but I know it can't keep going this way or she'll starve at daycare. We invested all this money into Dr. Brown's bottles and if she won't take them, I don't know what we'll do. I also hate that the daycare only uses disposables.

I feel like the ONLY thing I do right is make milk (started pumping on Feb 16th to build a freezer stash and I already have about 130 oz frozen) and cuddle with her.
I babysat a 3 month old and was the one who taught her how to take a bottle a couple years ago. She did great. She wouldn't take one at home for a while but was able and happy to take one from me. They were even Dr. Browns.

Making milk and cuddling are great ways to spend your time!!

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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Old 03-05-2010, 05:32 PM
 
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I'm having a huge desire to go have a drink in a bar for some reason. Maybe it's some yearning to feel like an independent adult.
yes please. I have been as well, and I was never into going to bars but now that I have a kid, I just want to be able to go have a drink- just because I can.. but I can't. The bars in this country all allow smoking and are like a giant cigarette- so Im not sure I can take him in since the smoke tends to be so heavy I even have problems in there.

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Like I see my whole life spreading out in front of me, nothing but holding and nursing a baby, no social life, no meaningful work, forever!
YES. exactly. I keep trying to remind myself the newborn phase is temporary but at the moment I just feel like this is My Whole Life Forever and I'll never have a social life or career again it scares me to be honest. But perhaps the saddest part is, is I feel like by the time I start to enjoy this phase, it will be over and I'll never get the time back again. Its such a double edged sword.

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Old 03-05-2010, 06:39 PM
 
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So nursing seems back on schedule, phew! Cloud, I hope your issues resolve soon, I hate worrying about supply. You can always pump if you feel like N isn't nursing a bunch, right? I posted something on the breastfeeding board about whether I should pump when I had plugged ducts (was worried about oversupply) and they told me not to worry about oversupply because your supply dips temporarily and to just nurse or pump as often as I could, like every 2 hours.

I did go to a bar! Last night after work I went with DH and another friend. The first place we went to was quiet and R hated it so we had to leave pretty quick. I couldn't even nurse her to calmness. Then we went to another just a few buildings over and it was louder, with rock and roll and lots of crazy decorations and she loved it. Then she fell asleep and I was able to have a nice pint and big plate of greasy fries...yuuum.

Then she came home and slept 4.5 hours in one go and only woke once the following 3 hours and I feel like a new person!

Just so I am not disgustingly positive, I also found out this week that I cannot have soy either.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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Old 03-05-2010, 06:43 PM
 
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Today is a better day so far. Most of that is due to a serious attitude readjustment last night with DH and my mom's help. So what if he's gotten fussier. I'm figuring out how to work with that, and I have a happy baby in between 90% of his feedings, so nothing can be too wrong with him. Heck, he stops to smile at me during feedings and while I'm burping him between sides. I think I was seeing my illness in him instead of in myself, and I think I'm finally over the worst of the mastitis.

Plus, I woke up feeling like there was actually milk in the boobs. Things will be much better as long as I don't feel like he's hungry.

I'm pretty sure that he's got some food sensitivities and that's what's causing all of this. Dairy is looking like a really likely suspect...I had A LOT of cheese at the end of last week, and it would still be in my system. And I remember purposefully not eating a lot of dairy when he was younger just in case, which would explain why his symptoms have gotten worse now. So, hello elimination diet. I'm going to start with dairy, eggs, soy and citrus fruit because those seem like the most likely things to be causing his troubles from what I've observed. This is tough as a vegetarian. But I already love quinoa and I've been forcing myself to eat a little fish here and there anyway, so we'll see how it goes.

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But perhaps the saddest part is, is I feel like by the time I start to enjoy this phase, it will be over and I'll never get the time back again. Its such a double edged sword.
Exactly! I've been really trying hard to remember this during this miserable week and stop and really look at him and feel his weight whenever he is latched on and nursing and I know I should stop worrying. But it's hard when you're engineered to worry about every little thing when it comes to your baby.

I thought I'd be out babywearing in the park/doing mommy&baby yoga/actually making it to my expensive mom's group's meetings by now. By the time I figure my Moby out, he'll be too heavy for me to want to use it.

Cloud, mommy to her happy little Nimbus, born 11/09!
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Old 03-05-2010, 07:56 PM
 
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Just so I am not disgustingly positive, I also found out this week that I cannot have soy either.
I feel usually that I am disgustingly negative- so I figure I will even everyone else out

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Old 03-05-2010, 09:02 PM
 
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But perhaps the saddest part is, is I feel like by the time I start to enjoy this phase, it will be over and I'll never get the time back again. Its such a double edged sword.
Are we the same person?!? haha...

I know just what you mean. I've been trying hard to be more conscious and present about enjoying my little guy instead of worrying about the future: it's a real challenge for someone with my personality!

Tattooed Hand: I am so jealous! My husband and I had a very mild fight about drinking recently: I said that I wanted to have a glass of wine, and he immediately looked up Kellymom (hah.) - my conclusion was that it's fine to have a glass now and then, his conclusion was that it could take me up to three hours to metabolize the alcohol, and when does H. go for three hours without wanting a snack? Which is true (although I don't think there's really any risk associated with that...) and the imaginary glass of wine really isn't important to me. I think it's like you said, it's an emblem of my longing for a moment of independent adulthood.

Science-loving mama to one little guy (11/09).
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Old 03-05-2010, 09:30 PM
 
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lalemma- its entirely possible you're my twin. if by chance you're anywhere near austria, (and this goes for all my DDC ladies) you're welcome to swing by for some tea/coffee/alpine water. .

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Old 03-06-2010, 12:00 PM
 
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My husband and I had a very mild fight about drinking recently: I said that I wanted to have a glass of wine, and he immediately looked up Kellymom (hah.) - my conclusion was that it's fine to have a glass now and then, his conclusion was that it could take me up to three hours to metabolize the alcohol, and when does H. go for three hours without wanting a snack?
A glass of wine isn't going to hurt -- by the time your body metabolizes the alcohol, it gets processed into the breastmilk, there is so little alcohol left in it that it's not going to affect the baby.

I used to be anti-alcohol while BF but on a wonderful BF community on LJ, there was a great thread with all these research-based links (which of course I can't find right now) has turned me around. Now I have a half-glass of red wine occasionally on the weekends. So far, so good.

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Old 03-06-2010, 07:30 PM
 
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yes please. I have been as well, and I was never into going to bars but now that I have a kid, I just want to be able to go have a drink- just because I can.. but I can't. The bars in this country all allow smoking and are like a giant cigarette- so Im not sure I can take him in since the smoke tends to be so heavy I even have problems in there.



YES. exactly. I keep trying to remind myself the newborn phase is temporary but at the moment I just feel like this is My Whole Life Forever and I'll never have a social life or career again it scares me to be honest. But perhaps the saddest part is, is I feel like by the time I start to enjoy this phase, it will be over and I'll never get the time back again. Its such a double edged sword.
the smoke thing kind of makes that impossible... igh.

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Old 03-06-2010, 07:42 PM
 
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A glass of wine isn't going to hurt -- by the time your body metabolizes the alcohol, it gets processed into the breastmilk, there is so little alcohol left in it that it's not going to affect the baby.

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Old 03-07-2010, 09:41 AM
 
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carmel-
yeap. one thing i hate about this coutry is the smoking is really out of control. Its miserable to go out to eat even because everywhere everyone smokes-- it wouldn't be such a problem but most places have zero airflow in the winter and so I always leave dinner/bars with a headache and a dry cleaning bill.. .

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Old 03-08-2010, 05:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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YES. exactly. I keep trying to remind myself the newborn phase is temporary but at the moment I just feel like this is My Whole Life Forever and I'll never have a social life or career again it scares me to be honest. But perhaps the saddest part is, is I feel like by the time I start to enjoy this phase, it will be over and I'll never get the time back again. Its such a double edged sword.
Have you gone to see anyone about your PPD? I didn't seek help for mine until my DD was almost a year old. I really did not enjoy much of her first year and I now regret that tremendously. It doesn't hurt to be proactive about PPD, but it can hurt not to be.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-08-2010, 05:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just so I am not disgustingly positive, I also found out this week that I cannot have soy either.
Ugh! Everett reacted really badly to soy. I am finding that being soy and corn free in addition to avoiding all the other top 5 major allergens is really tough. Much harder than being on my previous elimination diet while nursing DD since I could have soy and corn at least. Even flavoring food is hard. I love my Bragg's Amnio Acids (wheat free soy sauce) and I can't even use that.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-08-2010, 05:55 PM
 
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I made an appointment evinmom to see my Dr about the PPD but she is gone until the 30th so its the first appointment I can get is then

its going to be a long long month.

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