Are your babies sleeping through the night? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Avett is nearly 12 weeks old and still nowhere near sleeping through the night. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong.

I can get him to do an unpacifier-in-his-pack-n-play stretch for 3 - 4 hours upfront (usually from around 9 - 12:30 / 930 - 1 or something) but after that it is really touch-and-go. He nurses on me and we both snooze for a couple hours. THen I can usually get him to do another 2 -3 hours in his swing. This gets us through to around 7 a.m.

This isn't what I thought the 12 wk point was supposed to be like. So many of my friends' babies were going down at 630 pm and sleeping in their own room w/ 1 quick feed by this age.

I'm starting to feel like a total failure. :-(((

Where are your babies at?
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#2 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 04:04 PM
 
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Repeat after me, "Every baby is different".

Truly!

This is my fourth child and possibly my best sleeper. But I've had an ok sleeper, a HORRIBLE sleeper, and a not quite as horrible sleeper before this one.

This is also the first baby where I've thrown in the towel as far as the baby sleeping in the bassinet beside me. She's in the bed with us all night long.

3-4 hour stretches are awesome. None of my babies have given me anywhere near that long at 12 weeks. Or 16 weeks. Or 20 weeks. Ugh.

Hang in there! It does get better!!

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#3 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 04:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! I've heard 13 pounds makes a difference - is that true? Avett is still hanging out around 12, he's not a chubster by any means.
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#4 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 04:26 PM
 
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Are they suppose to sleep through the night at this age? He doesn't like to sleep in the bed/crib?

I only know one person whose baby sleeps through the night, like an 8 hour stretch and her baby didn't gain enough weight and her milk supply went down (now she has to get up and pump after 4 hours though why she doesn't feed the baby is beyond me). (Just to give you a different perspective, it must be hard when everyone around you has a different uniform standard - from sleep training?) So it doesn't seem normal or even desireable to me, though I would of course LOVE to sleep for like a week.

If it makes you feel better, Avett is sleeping better than Rassa. She usually goes down for 3-4 hour stretch initially anywhere from 9-11 and then after that sleeps in 1-3 hour stretches. These used to be interspersed with crying and squirming which has thankfully become greatly reduced. She's usually up at 7ish.

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#5 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 05:10 PM
 
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Every baby IS different and this is WAY early for "sleeping through the night". I felt like Truckerdoo with my dd, who was a far worse sleeper than you described. (as in awake every 45 minutes or so, a 2 hr stretch was a miracle!) My dd starting sleeping consistent 3 hr stretches by 8 months old and did not sleep ALL night long until she was 2 years old.

I'm telling you this, not to scare you but to help you change your expectations. The thing that drove me INSANE was comparing myself to other babies/moms and feeling like I was doing everything wrong. All kids will eventually sleep through the night, totally independent to what you are doing, even if they finally do it at 2 years old.

BTW, my ds who is almost 11 wks sleeps almost exactly the same as your ds.

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#6 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 05:25 PM
 
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Thanks! I've heard 13 pounds makes a difference - is that true? Avett is still hanging out around 12, he's not a chubster by any means.
No way! My 2nd child was 17 lbs at 2 months and was my worst sleeper.

All of my babies have been between 15 and 17 lbs at 2 months and again, all were different in their sleep habits.

I read in "Your baby, Week by Week" or one of those books that you should expect your baby to sleep through the night at this time. I just laughed. I don't know why I waste my time on those books

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#7 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 05:30 PM
 
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I hope this doesn't freak you out but none of my previous 3 really slept through the night until they totally weaned at age 2

Maybe my dd was night weaned at 18 months I can't remember

But my point is, it may happen at 5 months, or 6 months... it may not happen until later. But breastmilk is digested so effectively and efficiently that baby is going to be hungry at some point during the night. You aren't doing anything wrong and don't feel pressures to feed baby rice cereal or anything like that... I don't know why people think babies should sleep through the night so young. even our old ped. would ask me that question. I would just laugh...

(and my 3 year-old often wakes up and comes in our bed, which does wake me up... )

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#8 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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By sleeping through the night are you meaning the stereotypical 8 hours? Then the answer is definitely not.

By sleeping through the night are you meaning at least one 5 hour stretch? Then the answer is still no.

Just like the other posters have said every baby is different. It may happen at a certain point or it may not happen for a LONG time. I wouldn't get hung up on a particular timeframe. It will just make you more stressed and angry when things don't happen when they are "supposed" to. Not to scare you, but my DD didn't sleep longer than 2 hours at a time until AFTER her 3rd birthday. At 4 years old she's now a great sleeper. In the beginning Everett was sleeping 3-4 hours at a time in a period of 12-13 hours each night. Since the allergies started a couple of months ago he has been waking every 1-2 hours all night long. By 4-5am, he fusses constantly until I get out of bed at 7am. Hang in there! This will pass.

ETA: Everett was 14 lbs 3 oz at 8.5 weeks. He is now somewhere around 16-16.5 lbs at 3 months. I don't think big babies necessarily sleep better.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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#9 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 06:48 PM
 
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After the first month of "up every 90 minutes" (omg so hard.) H. was doing usually one 3-4 hour stretch, and then up every 90 minutes-2 hours after that until morning.

But just in the past week or two he's been moving toward a long sleep (5 or SIX hours) followed by the shorter stretches.

...of course, by "moving toward" I actually mean "he's done this three times now", so who knows if it'll last!

While this is pretty exciting, I didn't realize how uncomfortable these long nursing-free stretches would be, boob-wise. So I end up kind of forcing him to wake up and eat again. (We're traveling, and I didn't bring my pump, and I don't want to buy one.... sigh.)

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#10 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 10:25 PM
 
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Graydon usually sleeps 3 hour stretches at night, sometimes 2. But for 3 nights in a row, Graydon has slept a 4 hour stretch initially, followed by one or two 3 hour stretches, and once the sun comes up, I'm still tired, so I coax him back to sleep but he wakes every hour until about 9am, when I feel rested enough to wake up with him.

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#11 of 25 Old 03-04-2010, 11:24 PM
 
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Well, my little guy sleeps for a long chunk of time (in my opinion!!) but it doesn't start until late - like 11-midnight. He sometimes wakes up for a quick nurse which I usually doze during, but mostly he will wake at 6am for a long feeding and go back down for 3.5 more hours. However, he is awake all day long. We have tried to get hom down earlier but he always wakes up and, truthfully, I like having my mornings to myself! Also, we co-sleep so I am not the most comfortable, but like everyone says, this stage does not last long.

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#12 of 25 Old 03-05-2010, 02:00 AM
 
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3-4 hours sounds totally decent for a baby that age. Elliot will do anywhere from 3-6 hours a night but he is a crazy good sleeper. DD wasn't like that at all.

Once they get to the age when they can latch themselves on, they still wake up but it's not as much of a hassle.
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#13 of 25 Old 03-05-2010, 07:40 AM
 
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Annika sleeps for good stretches, but not through the night. She'll go down for the night sometime between 8-10, and then she'll sleep until about 2-4, so she gets the majority of her sleep there. Then she wakes up for a feed and a change, and we put her back to sleep. She'll usually sleep from then until about 6ish, later if her feed/change was later. Then she'll eat again and sleep until 8ish, when she's up for the day.

My son Dylan was a great sleeper and started sleeping through the night pretty early, but he also went through bouts where his schedule would completely change, where he'd refuse to go to bed until he absolutely collapsed from exhaustion, or where he'd wake up at night and be up for an hour or so. Usually disruptions in his sleep patterns had a lot to do with having a growth spurt or teething. So even once they start sleeping through the night they might not stay that way for long. I wouldn't worry about it at this point.

Good point too about not comparing your baby to others. I drove myself nuts with that with my first, and sleeping through the night is just the tip of the iceburg -- wait till they start hitting their real milestones, and then walking and talking. The urge to compare is hard to resist, but it can really stress you out and in the end it isn't really productive. All babies are different and keeping in mind just how different they can be is a good idea.

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#14 of 25 Old 03-05-2010, 12:35 PM
 
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I'm just happy he sleeps AT night...forget through the night.

We put him in his bed (next to my bed) around 9 (or he'll sleep on Daddy till we go to bed, it just depends on what we're doing) I'll feed him when we go to bed, let's call that 11, then he's up around 2:30 for a quick nurse, and back in his bed till 5:30 when he comes to our bed till I can muster the energy to get up, about 8:00.

I don't expect him to go any longer then that for a long time.

Oh, he's a little more then 14 lbs...I don't think I noticed any change around 13 lbs.

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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#15 of 25 Old 03-05-2010, 01:41 PM
 
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My BF support group says that until babies are 4 months old or over 14 pounds, their tummies won't let them go an entire night without food.... so that's where that comes from, I think.

My LO is SO far away from sleeping through the night, OMG. I rock/nurse her to sleep around 7:30/8pm, and she sleeps on my chest until around 10:30 when I nurse her again and we all go to bed. Then she's up at midnight, 2:30, 4:30 and 6am to eat usually.

Ironically enough, she only rouses enough to root for a nipple and I give it to her, so I think SHE'S sleeping through the night, but Momma is not!! Oh, and we're still changing diapers at least 3x/night, even with a triple-stuffed AIO!!

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#16 of 25 Old 03-05-2010, 06:40 PM
 
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yeah, I think that sounds ok. Elizabeth Pantley (No Cry Sleep Solution) defines sleeping through the night as 5 hrs straight. Bethany naps in the evenings. We go to be about 10ish. She's up for a quick nurse around 3 or 4. Then again at 6-7ish. I feel pretty well-rested.

Hang in there....it takes a while to get adjusted to your new normal.
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#17 of 25 Old 03-07-2010, 08:45 AM
 
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we're at 2 months, 4 weeks and just over 14lbs.

DS sleeps usually goes to sleep around 10pm-12am then sleeps till 5-6am then nurses at 6, 730am and then again sometimes at 9am. Most nights we have a 5-6 hour stretch until the morning hours...

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#18 of 25 Old 03-07-2010, 04:19 PM
 
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We're 15w, 3d and still not STTN. She goes down between 8:30-10pm for 2.5-3 hrs and then its about every 60-90 mins after that. Aaliyah eats all friggin night. It's hard getting her to eat during the day, even while she's with me. The few times she's spent the day with my mom or sister, she ate maybe half an ounce per hour. She'll eat a little more in the evening and then wants to nurse lots during the night. Oh, and she's 13 lbs.

I'm part of a BFing mom's group and there quite a few babies who were sleeping thru the night (5+ hours) before 4 weeks old. One had a baby who slept 12 hrs straight, from 6pm-6am by 6 weeks. Her son eats lots and lots all day with very few 20 min naps here and there. I haven't seen a correlation between weight and longer sleep, personally. Aaliyah's longest stretches were 4-5 hrs at night around 4-5 weeks old and then she caught a cold. I will say that I've noticed the babies in the group who sleep best sleep in bassinets or cribs at night. Aaliyah has never slept outside of the bed at night, ever. Guess who just brought a bassinet home? lol I'm not expecting anything to change, but I plan to at least put her down for her longest stretch in the bassinet and then keep her in bed thereafter.

I go back to work in a week (the 15th) so I'll probably be a walking zombie for months.

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#19 of 25 Old 03-09-2010, 08:16 PM
 
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yeah, I think that sounds ok. Elizabeth Pantley (No Cry Sleep Solution) defines sleeping through the night as 5 hrs straight. Bethany naps in the evenings. We go to be about 10ish. She's up for a quick nurse around 3 or 4. Then again at 6-7ish. I feel pretty well-rested.

Hang in there....it takes a while to get adjusted to your new normal.
This is pretty much what Elli does. She naps on Dad while we watch TV, goes to bed with us between 10 and 11 (sometimes sooner) and wakes up to nurse and for a diaper change between 3 and 4. She does another stretch until about 7 and maybe an hour or so thereafter. We mostly hang out in bed until about 9:30 and then get up for the day.

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#20 of 25 Old 03-09-2010, 08:23 PM
 
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This is pretty much what Elli does. She naps on Dad while we watch TV, goes to bed with us between 10 and 11 (sometimes sooner) and wakes up to nurse and for a diaper change between 3 and 4. She does another stretch until about 7 and maybe an hour or so thereafter. We mostly hang out in bed until about 9:30 and then get up for the day.
Awww man! I'm so jealous!

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#21 of 25 Old 03-10-2010, 10:13 AM
 
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This is pretty much what Elli does. She naps on Dad while we watch TV, goes to bed with us between 10 and 11 (sometimes sooner) and wakes up to nurse and for a diaper change between 3 and 4. She does another stretch until about 7 and maybe an hour or so thereafter. We mostly hang out in bed until about 9:30 and then get up for the day.
We're getting close to this routine ourselves! I rock her to sleep in between 7-8pm and she sleeps on my chest until around 10/10:30.... then she wakes to nurse around midnight (we dream-nurse, so she never really wakes up), then a nursing and diaper change at 3/3:30, and then around 6:30/7am she wakes up for another diaper change and nursing.

Usually I get up then and get her up with me, change her into her "daytime" clothes, and she plays in her crib while I eat breakfast. Then I pump and after that, she falls asleep for another hour.

She's still getting at least 2-3 naps a day, one has to be at least 2 hours long or she is very grumpy at night and won't fall asleep.

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#22 of 25 Old 03-10-2010, 02:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Since I posted this thread things have changed on my front.

Avett will fall asleep but will not STAY asleep. The last three nights he sleeps for 10 minutes after I put him down in his crib - then starts with the thrashing. He kicks his legs - brings them up to a 90 degree angle - and slams them down on the mattress. Repeat until he is awake and crying within 2-3 minutes.

I don't know what to do about ti! He was doing so great. Now I would give anything to have that 930 - 1230 stretch back!
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#23 of 25 Old 03-10-2010, 07:01 PM
 
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Since I posted this thread things have changed on my front.

Avett will fall asleep but will not STAY asleep. The last three nights he sleeps for 10 minutes after I put him down in his crib - then starts with the thrashing. He kicks his legs - brings them up to a 90 degree angle - and slams them down on the mattress. Repeat until he is awake and crying within 2-3 minutes.

I don't know what to do about ti! He was doing so great. Now I would give anything to have that 930 - 1230 stretch back!
I'm sure you've already tried this, but Nimbus does that wiggling/leg lifting routine when I first put him down (asleep) in his co-sleeper and also around 7 am, and what really helps is to lay my hand on his chest and leave it there...I often fall asleep that way (we use a co-sleeper next to the bed). For the 7 am one, I do that and also unswaddle his arms, and since I started doing that he's been going back into another sleep cycle at that point and sleeping for a few more hours.

Like I said, common advice! But that's what's been working here. I also wish I could get his old TV watching with DH nap back...now he's awake all evening and even when he's nursing I'm worried that the TV distracts him. It's the easiest way to get DH to hang out with us for a long time in the evening, though, and I miss the adult company. But I try not to complain too much because even if he keeps me up late, he is an unusually good sleeper at night. Just not so much on the napping front anymore.

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#24 of 25 Old 03-11-2010, 03:40 AM
 
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"Princess" Grace is still not sleeping through the night regularly. This weekend she did it once-- Friday night she was up practically ALL night long....and then Saturday she was down by 8:45 and I didn't hear a peep from her until almost 4:30! Of course, by that point I was afraid to move, I'm used to 4 hours tops between feedings, my poor chest!! Our "normal" seems to be a nap of sorts at 8pm, nursing to sleep at around 9:30/10, up to nurse again at about 2, and then up usually for good at 6:30am. She might nap sporadically through the day, 20-30 minutes at a shot.

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#25 of 25 Old 03-11-2010, 03:57 PM
 
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DDCC to say that my "baby" is 26mo and he still doesn't sleep through the night! For that matter, neither do I.

It's normal. For a long time when my son was that little, he woke every 1-2 hours or more. I think the biggest help for me was adjusting my own expectations and finding ways to get more sleep for myself. It gets better with time, but every baby is different.

You might try posting over in the Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting forum for tips, and a good book to pick up on babies and sleep is The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Hang in there!

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