WEEKLY RAMBLE/CHAT for MAR 7- 14 - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-09-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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Thanks evinmom for the idea of donating breast milk. I got my name in to a local mama who coordinates milk donation in our community. So far she hasn't needed my milk but I have participated in her charity by giving freezer meals to families in crisis. I'm excited to do some volunteering that actually helps real people. Up until Elliot was born I spent 7 years on the committee or board of this or that group but didn't actually feel like I made much of a difference.

In general...the baby is easy but I have to fight every day against allowing my 3yo to remain a sociopath into adulthood. We've progressed from biting the baby to yelling at him until he wakes up. Lucky me
What a wonderful group to be involved with! It's so nice to know that there are so many people willing to help others in need. Sorry to hear that things are still tough with your DD. At least she's no longer biting. Some kids are just very spirited. My DD is so loud that Everett has taken to flinching whenever she approaches. I feel so bad for Everett. He's going to be deaf and blind before long. She loves to get right up in his face, her hair slashing his eyeballs out, and yells at him like he can't possibly see or hear her when she's breathing on him.


Yentroc: I'm glad to hear Griffin's tongue tie is fixed. It makes such a difference. Yay for being able to have your nut butters back. I love treenuts in any form. Too bad my babies don't. We use sunbutter here (from sunflowers). It's okay. A bit too sweet in my opinion, but the kids like it.

Truckerdoo: Hang in there! I've had the unfortunate luck of having babies who sleep worse as they get older until they are preschool aged. I knew to enjoy the first month with Everett because I figured it would be the most he would ever sleep for awhile. The good news is that they will sleep one day.

Cloud: ITA about the differences between men and women. When I just want to vent, I state up front to DH that I'm just venting so he just listens. If I need reassurance, I have to tell him up front that is what I'm looking for.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-09-2010, 09:35 PM
 
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nak

is anyone else here shedding like crazy? all of a sudden my hair is everywhere...

Truckerdoo, that sounds rough about the sleep.

i ate something cross contaminated yesterday and today is a very bad day.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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Old 03-10-2010, 01:31 AM
 
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nak

is anyone else here shedding like crazy? all of a sudden my hair is everywhere...
YES! Man it happened early this time! I also got AF back...but I digress.

I still can't tell about the dairy. Today was pretty good...hmmm...I'm feeling very lucky. I have corn, soy, wheat and chocolate back. This week was milk and eggs. I'm thinking of holding off on eggs. I really didn't/don't expect milk to pass. We'll see I guess!

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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Old 03-10-2010, 11:22 AM
 
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to everyone.... sounds like it's been a rough week.

I can't even remember if I already replied to this thread so if I did, ignore me. I'm still coming out of this PPD (although the sun we had yesterday helped) and the return to work next week is doing nothing to improve my mood.

Name: Mary & Emma

Age: 11w2d

Milestones: Found her fist, is grasping things better and has about 50% accuracy at grabbing things. Holding her torso up better when I'm carrying her. Still HATES tummy time and is not a big fan of sitting up on the couch either, I don't foresee her pulling herself up anytime soon.

Thoughts: Ugh, I want to be a SAHM. But I'm the primary breadwinner and I'm lucky I got 12 weeks off of work (even though it was ALL unpaid). DH is depressed too, with his dissertation looming over him and the stress of upcoming comprehensive exams. But when the sun shone yesterday and we went out for a walk with Emma, the whole world felt a little better.

AF is out of the building... I guess I'm lucky it was a short visit. My hair has started to fall out too (knew it would.... but didn't want it to, this is the best my hair has ever looked!). I'm almost back down to pre-pregnancy weight but my body has shifted and I can't wear any of my work clothes without being horribly uncomfortable -- and I've got a job interview on Friday where I need to wear a suit. So I can't wear what I have, and I can't go out shopping to try new ones on.... and instead of figuring out what to do, I just sit on my bum and hold Emma and try to soak in these last few days of maternity leave.

Stupid money. My life would be easier if I didn't need you.

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Old 03-10-2010, 11:36 AM
 
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is anyone else here shedding like crazy? all of a sudden my hair is everywhere...
Yes, this started about a week ago. My hair got incredibly thick with pregnancy, so there is A TON of it everywhere. The vacuum can't keep up. Everett's been losing his hair too so we're sharing the experience. LOL

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-10-2010, 11:40 AM
 
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Stupid money. My life would be easier if I didn't need you.
I know the feeling. When I went from being primary bread winner to SAHM we had to make some huge sacrifices including moving far away from all family and where we both grew up. The decision to stay working or stay home is so hard. Especially when living on one income or in some cases, none, is nearly impossible in today's world. I'm hoping that when DH finishes his dissertation he lands an awesome job and maybe you can be a SAHM one day.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-10-2010, 07:27 PM
 
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Dairy failed. Oh well, I'm really just happy I can have corn, wheat and soy. I'm going to give him some time to recoup then try eggs, peanuts, tree nuts and tomatoes...of all of them, I really want tomatoes.

I've had a fantastic day. Levi has been pretty good, not that he can be bad, I guess he's not been too needy. And I've been cooking with the older kids, then they lost interest and I'm cooking by myself.

So far I've made granola, then granola bars, several chicken breasts which I shred and freeze and then put the bones and stuff in the crock pot for broth, vegan oatmeal cookies, pancake batter, garbanzo beans, sour dough starter, dough for pita bread and started bean sprouts and cottage cheese.

We've been reading Little House, Ma Ingles is my hero.

I ordered a meat grinder today so I can make my own sausage this weekend.

I'm going to make this for dinner. We don't eat a lot of middle eastern food so we'll see how it goes over. I'm thinking of trying my hand at falafel.

Sorry for bragging, but today I feel like a super.

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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Old 03-10-2010, 07:49 PM
 
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Nimbus is starting in on hour two of a nap in the Ergo. Maybe I'll be a babywearer yet. I can't see how my breast bone can possibly make a comfy pillow, but he rouses enough to reposition himself occasionally and isn't complaining, so it can't be too bad.

I feel like writing a letter to myself to open the next time it seems like some low point of motherhood will go on and on forever...but I don't think I'd believe that advice even coming from myself. It's nice to be through the worst of it and out the other side with a little more mothering experience under my belt. His fussing is so much easier to deal with now that I can approach it calmly and with some tools I've learned.

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Cloud - is the breastfeeding doctor Dr. O'Hara? If so, I just saw her last week. LOVED her. Ds got his tongue tie clipped.
Good to know! I'm holding off for the moment, because things are looking up this week and the thrush isn't getting worse (knock on wood), and I need to check into whether my insurance with cover a visit to her. We just spent $50 on a small vial of APNO. Luckily, it seems like I only need to use a tiny amount, so it will last awhile.

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Thoughts: Any of your babes have dry skin? I'm pretty sure it's not excema. It's not red/itchy, just dry. I'm going to add more omega 3's back in, hopefully that'll help. I didn't use any moisturizer on dd, are you using lotion on your lo's?
Nimbus was rubbing at his face a lot awhile back, especially his nose and around his eyes. Turns out his skin was just dry...I thought I would know that when I saw it because he'd gotten very dry in the hospital, but putting Aquaphor on it like the doctor recommended got him to stop itching, so dry skin it is! I try to moisturize at least once a day, before bedtime, and it really helps. I could notice a big difference last week when I was too sick and tired to get to minor things like that every evening.

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is anyone else here shedding like crazy? all of a sudden my hair is everywhere...
Yes. Shedding everywhere. I knew it was coming, but it's so annoying! It's bad enough to see half my hair in the drain after every shower, but I really hate picking it off of Nimbus' clothes and getting it out from between his grabby little fingers.

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We've been reading Little House, Ma Ingles is my hero.
You know, I find myself thinking about her a lot lately...mostly in the "how the heck did she do it???" sort of way.

Cloud, mommy to her happy little Nimbus, born 11/09!
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Old 03-10-2010, 11:12 PM
 
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So far I've made granola, then granola bars, several chicken breasts which I shred and freeze and then put the bones and stuff in the crock pot for broth, vegan oatmeal cookies, pancake batter, garbanzo beans, sour dough starter, dough for pita bread and started bean sprouts and cottage cheese.
You get Super Kudos from me!

PS... I love, love, love falafel. Yum!!

I'm still off of Dairy too. *sniffle* What I wouldn't give for a big dollop of sour cream on a baked potato right now!

Living Angel Baby Born 12/21/09
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Old 03-10-2010, 11:13 PM
 
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I'm hoping that when DH finishes his dissertation he lands an awesome job and maybe you can be a SAHM one day.
Me too!

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Old 03-11-2010, 12:50 AM
 
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Fish is a no go here as well. Okay so far it's soy, dairy, eggs, wheat, corn, peanut, tree nuts, and fish. Poor Everett. He's going to be just like big sis.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-11-2010, 01:49 AM
 
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You get Super Kudos from me!

PS... I love, love, love falafel. Yum!!

I'm still off of Dairy too. *sniffle* What I wouldn't give for a big dollop of sour cream on a baked potato right now!
have you tried nutritional yeast as a 'cheesy' substitute? OMG, it is so good, just sprinkle it on a potato, or pasta as 'cheese.' you can also make a really nasty vegan/ soy free cheese 'sauce' for mac and cheese... it it is really good just sprinkled on potatoes, maybe with a bit of olive oil for the fat. (and it has tons of vitamin Bs, all the folates, I think, and tons of protein)

Nutritional yeast and coconut milk icecream, earth balance (although it has soy, but I've heard there is a soy free version, but haven't see it ever...) got me through dairy/soy free. Egg replacer for baked goods.

evinmom, can you eat chashews or are those out too with the nuts?

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Old 03-11-2010, 02:03 AM
 
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I'm still off of Dairy too. *sniffle* What I wouldn't give for a big dollop of sour cream on a baked potato right now!
Yum, I'll take one. I didn't eat much of anything today because every time I open the fridge, I'm confronted by a wall of cheese, yogurt and kefir. *sigh*

Cloud, mommy to her happy little Nimbus, born 11/09!
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Old 03-11-2010, 04:17 AM
 
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Mandy - shout it from the rooftops! You're inspiring me.
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Old 03-11-2010, 12:16 PM
 
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have you tried nutritional yeast as a 'cheesy' substitute? OMG, it is so good, just sprinkle it on a potato, or pasta as 'cheese.' you can also make a really nasty vegan/ soy free cheese 'sauce' for mac and cheese... it it is really good just sprinkled on potatoes, maybe with a bit of olive oil for the fat. (and it has tons of vitamin Bs, all the folates, I think, and tons of protein)
I've heard this, but never tried it. I'll be picking some up tomorrow. I also need to get some soy milk or tofu to make mayonase. It's funny. I thought I would die with out dairy and never thought of things I eat every day like tomatoes and mayonase. I think there's supposed to be am "i" in mayonase but can't figure it out and am too lazy to look it up.

The dinner had mixed reviews. The falafel ended up being my version of a food i've never had. They were good but I'm sure nothing like they are supposed to be. The kids liked the pita bread.

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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Old 03-11-2010, 12:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think we officially hit the 3month growth spurt the last two nights. major sleep regression and my nipples are sore for the first time.

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Old 03-11-2010, 03:36 PM
 
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I've heard this, but never tried it. I'll be picking some up tomorrow. I also need to get some soy milk or tofu to make mayonase. It's funny. I thought I would die with out dairy and never thought of things I eat every day like tomatoes and mayonase. I think there's supposed to be am "i" in mayonase but can't figure it out and am too lazy to look it up.
have you tried veganaise? http://vegetarian.about.com/od/guide.../vegenaise.htm

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Old 03-11-2010, 03:54 PM
 
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ItHappened, yet again we're on the same timeline! I think we're in the 12-week developmental leap, too. His nighttime sleep (knock wood) is still good, but there's so much less of it! And his daytime naps have really gone back to catnaps.

Weird question: sometimes when we've gone for a walk (or H. has been in his wrap for another reason for 30 minutes+) and I take him out of the wrap, he bursts into tears. My husband suggests that he basically has the baby version of when you sit in one position for a long time and then move. Any other ideas? Should I be repositioning him during his walk or anything?

Science-loving mama to one little guy (11/09).
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Old 03-11-2010, 04:46 PM
 
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R does this too. I just thought it was losing the warm snuggly position.

We're doing some growth spurting too. Waking every 2 hours at night to eat and eating all day long. My nipples feel like chewed meat (it's doesn't help that R likes to started biting when she's done eating).

I am really low. We've had a bad week. I am now thinking that wheat is out. I need to try it again later because I ate some cross contaminated food by accident. DH does the grocery shopping because we have no car and I can't carry the baby and shopping (and plus, why should I have to do everything). But I just realized that I've been eating cross contaminated food for a couple of weeks now. Thanks, DH...

Anyway, it's been such a bad few weeks trying out foods, having bad reactions, trying to (unsucessfully) keep up with work. I don't even want to try dairy because I's rather do without than risk another bad few days I can't afford to lose.

So after a bad Tuesday, I had long standing plans to go see some grad school friends. And it was a disaster. R was fine for like 30 minutes and then after a friend held her (who clearly had no idea what she was doing) and R began complaining. Another friend (who has a kid) stepped in to take her and she went into a full nuclear meltdown and would not be consoled. I had to call my DH to come get us because she would not stop crying and cried herself hoarse for a full hour before I could get us home. It was awful and I have no idea what set her off - she was fine when we got home. Anyway, the comments I got from these people were really hurtful - "you used to be a freind, but I see you so seldom these days that you're like an acquaintance" (from someone who has not called once in the last few months) and "oops, sorry about the baby melting down, I guess this means I'll see you in 2011." With friends like these, who needs friends.

Anyway, it made me feel sad and depressed and alone this morning (I was too tired last night to have feelings). Sorry about the pity party, I try to stay positive and suceed most of the time, but not today.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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Old 03-11-2010, 04:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Tattooed Hand- can we have a pity party together. I read your whole post and have been feeling the same way Our friends here, all but one 'set' has pretty much gone MIA, not even a phone call since I gave birth.. its been really terrible. They are all in their 30s and allergic to kids it seems- its been really rough.. I keep thinking I should find mom groups but I've been too tired to even start looking.

Sore nipples and not sleeping just make it worse. I attempted a nap today and DS started to scream as soon as I closed my eyes.

Next week should be better right?

I wish I had something to say which could work as a pep talk but just know that you aren't alone- Im right here in it with you..

I'll say it again, I really wish we all lived close to eachother, I think it would be so much fun to have a 'mom group'.. this doing it alone thing sucks.

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Old 03-11-2010, 05:38 PM
 
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have you tried nutritional yeast as a 'cheesy' substitute?
I have not, but I will now! I bet I can get it at Whole Foods, and we're heading there today anyway. Thank you for the tip!



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Anyway, it made me feel sad and depressed and alone this morning (I was too tired last night to have feelings). Sorry about the pity party, I try to stay positive and suceed most of the time, but not today.
Momma.... sounds like a very frustrating day. Who does need friends like that?! And that, on top of everything else.... well, just

I agree with ithappened, I wish we were closer IRL so we could support each other and help out. After the initial "let's look at the cute baby for 30 minutes then leave" visits, I haven't had a call or email from friends in at least a month. Even my local "New Mom's Support Group" wasn't very supportive -- the few people I talked to there had older babies and weren't much interested in exchanging phone numbers. Except then I saw a couple of them exchanging numbers after the group... so maybe it was just me. Maybe I had a big booger hanging out of my nose? Or the fact I asked openly about PPD made me the pariah?

As with the diet stuff.... all I can say is it's a good thing I like squash.

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Old 03-11-2010, 05:41 PM
 
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Tattooed Hand - someone kind of did that to me. She had a litany of complaints about how I had "abandoned" her. Strangely, I would consider us much less close friends than she apparently did, so I wound up suspecting that this just played into a story she tells about herself, that people are always mistreating and abandoning her. Maybe the case with your "pals"? (Either way, totally lame.)

I am totally not susceptible to anyone complaining about me not being a good enough friend/wife (not that my husband does that)/whatever at this point. This is the single hardest thing I have ever done, and I consider myself pretty tough. People are lucky that I get out of bed! I am not buying into any kvetching about how I should call them more often. I have a phone and they know where to find me.


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Old 03-11-2010, 05:59 PM
 
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I have not, but I will now! I bet I can get it at Whole Foods, and we're heading there today anyway. Thank you for the tip
The best tasting nutritional yeast is Red Star. It is kinda expensive at Whole Foods. If you end up liking it, I suggest buying bulk online. You can get several pounds of it at once. A vegan friend of mine uses it in everything and goes through 5 lbs every couple of months. I bought 5 lbs of it 2 years ago and still have a bit left. LOL It's really good on popcorn. Oh how I miss popcorn....


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evinmom, can you eat chashews or are those out too with the nuts?
Cashews are actually one of the more allergenic tree nuts. My DD was allergic to them as well. After the reactions to almonds, brazil nuts and walnuts, I think I'll skip trying any other tree nuts for a few years. Earth Balance does make a soy-free spread. Although it contains corn so if your baby is corn allergic like mine you can't have that either.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:02 PM
 
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Mana - If you want to avoid all cross contamination, I suggest you make all of your own mixed seasonings/spices as well. A lot of those contain soy or corn. I've been making a lot of curry, jerk, and mexican seasonings from scratch because of the soy problem.

about your friends. I don't think people who do not have children can possibly understand. After DD was born, I went MIA for 2 years due to severe PPD. I got a couple of calls that I just could not find the time or energy to return. Just last year I finally got around to getting back in touch with some friends. My childless friends definitely have no idea what I've been through, but all the same we were able to get right back to being friends again. That is what true friendship is. Those who will judge you and guilt trip you are not true friends.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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Everett has been up fussing off and on since 7:30am. He finally went down for a nap 10 minutes ago. Then just 2 minutes ago, DS1 and DD come running out of the playroom screaming/screeching at the top of their lungs. DD screams like a banshee. Now Everett is up fussing again. I have a headache. Somedays I wish they were in school.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:46 PM
 
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carmel, I have heard of veganaise. But I agree with what Di Lihn said about cross contamination and I'm reading Real Foods For Mother and Baby (or something like that) and am trying to make everything we eat from scratch. I was so surprised when I went onthe TED at how much processed food I really ate. I really want to change that.

I'm so sorry everyone is feeling so alone right now. Keep looking into mom's groups until you find a fit. Have you thought about looking for local MDCers?

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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Old 03-11-2010, 07:20 PM
 
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Nutritional Yeast! I will look into that. Of all the things, cheese is the thing I miss most.

I guess the diet is good for something - I am back into my prepreg clothes and have probably not eaten this healthy in my whole life. Though I do hit those Enjoy Life cookies pretty hard... still my stomach far is almost all gone, which is incredible. But should I worry about too much weight loss? I'm trying to eat fats but it's hard...

Yes, we found out the hard way that cashews are the most allergenic - think baby waking up at 5am in a dead scream and then projectile vomiting all over the place for hours. Her reaction was way less dramatic to almonds, for instance.

About friends, I took a proactive approach and just responded to an email from one freind from last night saying "what did you mean by that comment, that you miss me, or something else?" He said he missed me so I invited him over tomorrow evening for some tea. Even though I should be working, this will make me feel better (well, that and a week of sleep, but, in the words of the great Mick Jagger, you can't always get what you want.)

I also just flat out told my mom I was worried about the visit and that I had a hard week and I wanted to come home and crawl into MY mommy's arms and cry. I think that made her feel mushy and that the visit should go OK. I feel less anxious, at least.

Thanks for letting me vent, ladies!

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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Old 03-11-2010, 07:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by evinmom View Post
The best tasting nutritional yeast is Red Star. It is kinda expensive at Whole Foods. If you end up liking it, I suggest buying bulk online. You can get several pounds of it at once. A vegan friend of mine uses it in everything and goes through 5 lbs every couple of months. I bought 5 lbs of it 2 years ago and still have a bit left. LOL It's really good on popcorn. Oh how I miss popcorn....




Cashews are actually one of the more allergenic tree nuts. My DD was allergic to them as well. After the reactions to almonds, brazil nuts and walnuts, I think I'll skip trying any other tree nuts for a few years. Earth Balance does make a soy-free spread. Although it contains corn so if your baby is corn allergic like mine you can't have that either.
that is a bummer, I was thinking that since cashews are seeds they might be okay. to you. that is so hard. I have no problem going without dairy... but love eggs. We avoid soy, but I have to eat nuts! I hope your little guys sleeps better soon (like how about now!)

there is a really good cashew 'creamy' dip you can make that is dairy free...

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Old 03-11-2010, 07:41 PM
 
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carmel, I have heard of veganaise. But I agree with what Di Lihn said about cross contamination and I'm reading Real Foods For Mother and Baby (or something like that) and am trying to make everything we eat from scratch. I was so surprised when I went onthe TED at how much processed food I really ate. I really want to change that.

I'm so sorry everyone is feeling so alone right now. Keep looking into mom's groups until you find a fit. Have you thought about looking for local MDCers?
I have to echo Mandy's suggestion about finding other mom's through MDC. It may seems weird, but I have met the best mom friend's through MDC. People who *I* like and want to hang out with, not just because we happen to have kids the same age.

yeah, I don't eat mayo at all, but my DH likes vegenaise. Scratch cooking is the best, although it takes so much time!

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Old 03-11-2010, 07:51 PM
 
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the loss of friends without kids is so difficult. I'm shocked at how allergic to new life people are, even those who are so 'open minded.'
You would think that they were never kids, that they somehow sprung from their father's heads, fully formed.

One of my friends made a comment about how 'having children didn't harm my intellect,' and I swear I almost punched him.

But at the same time, I have a lot of friends who love my children as their own, and are like aunties and uncles to them. These are the real friends.

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