WEEKLY RAMBLE/CHAT for MAR 15-21 - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 22 Old 03-15-2010, 06:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Im bored and can't sleep, so I hope its ok I start this (again)


Name:

DDC Baby's Age:

Updates/Milestones:

Thoughts:

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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#2 of 22 Old 03-15-2010, 10:37 PM
 
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Name: carmel y nico

DDC Baby's Age: 3 months!

Updates/Milestones: we do 8 minute abs together and perpetually

Thoughts: tbc....

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#3 of 22 Old 03-16-2010, 04:24 PM
 
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Mandy and Levi

almost 12 weeks

Milestones: Reaching out and grabbing things, putting feet up when playing, talking to let us know what he wants before he starts crying, very expressive, has a great new "I'm so excited" face Lots of smiles and coos...or lots of fussy grunts...just depends on the day.

He out grew his swaddler (he's about 16 lbs!!) so we tried for 3 days to go without. That was a disaster. He couldn't sleep and was all trhown off. I finally dug out an extra flat sheet I had and ripped a big square out and have been swaddling him in that. I haven't even had time to hem the edges.

We've still been going to the cranial-sacral therapist every couple weeks. He's doing so much better. Today he had a great session. Hoping he'll be finished soon.

Thoughts: Hm. I could use a major nap. My brain seems to be mush these days. I felt very proud at my book club ast night that I was able to articulate complete thoughts. We have an author in our group now and she's really put the pressure on!

I've been cooking so much but forgetting to cook dinner. I've had dh pick up fast food a lot in the past few days and the reason was I was too busy cooking to cook. Today I put something in the crock pot early so I couldn't forget.

My life is about to get crazy busy for the next month or so. There's a homeschool conference, my mom, step dad and brother are coming in, the kid's play is in a few weeks and that takes over our life, I'm in charge of some big stuff at chirch and with Easter right around the corner that's upping my responcibilities. (Plus LLL meetings, piano lessons, co-op, feild trips, MIL who just had surgey and needs our help, social life, house work, homeschool...it just never ends!)

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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#4 of 22 Old 03-17-2010, 03:04 AM
 
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OMG Mandy. You are my new SAHM hero. I have been wondering how to find a sense of productivity and purpose as a SAHM and it looks like you've got it covered. I seem to just go out and kill time sometimes, just hang around the park or library or playgroup or something forever with DD & DS, and while I'm OK with that every now and then I don't think that's a very good model for her of what life is like. I know unstructured time is supposed to be great and I really don't miss my job but I would like to do more projects together, and meaningful projects, not make-work projects. I do my parents' grocery shopping and have been cooking some for a non-profit and last week I hemmed 3 pairs of pants but I could definitley more ambitious around my home. Please tell me a 3yo and a baby want to see if we can make focaccia from scratch
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#5 of 22 Old 03-17-2010, 10:03 AM
 
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Haha! Yes, your kids will be enthusiasitc about whatever you are enthusiasic about...for the most part anyway!

It's taken many years of learning what I need and what they need and constantly readjusting to get to this point. I'm the type of person who needs to be doing a lot. When I'm not, I feel useless and unimportant. Sometimes my priorities get out of whack and I need to step back, prioritize and then restart. Our Aprils are always way busier then any other time of year.

I'm a big fan of unstructured time! Today I told dh my goals are to not get dressed, take a nap and make dinner. (Then I remembered all the stuff I have to do. ) We tend to have nothing but unstructured time in the summer...okay, there is definatly some structure, just not as much as the rest of the year.

OT: LEVI SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!!

From about 11:00 to 7:00. Of course I woke up at 6:15 wondering what the heck happened and having giant aching boobs...but I'll take it!!

I fed him at 7:00 got up, pumped and had over an hour of time by myself before everyone else woke up! Levi is still sleeping, it's 9:00.

Oh how I love the cranialsacral therapist!!!

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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#6 of 22 Old 03-17-2010, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mandy- wahoooo! awesome!!

As for us.. I finally gave up CDing Our washing machine and car both broke and have made laundry impossible ... Also DS seems to cry bloody murder only when we eat hot meals- is it possible he smells/wants our food?

Otherwise DS is 3 months now-- still sleeping 8-12am then 12-4 then 4-6 or 7...

Also, it looks like we'll be moving to Munich at the end of 2010-- YAH for bigger cities

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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#7 of 22 Old 03-17-2010, 04:26 PM
 
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mandy- wahoooo! awesome!!

As for us.. I finally gave up CDing Our washing machine and car both broke and have made laundry impossible ... Also DS seems to cry bloody murder only when we eat hot meals- is it possible he smells/wants our food?

Otherwise DS is 3 months now-- still sleeping 8-12am then 12-4 then 4-6 or 7...

Also, it looks like we'll be moving to Munich at the end of 2010-- YAH for bigger cities
yes, babies do smell food, and I think they want it! Nico fusses the most at mealtime, and I swear it is because he smells the yummy food! A move to Munich sounds good. You'll be pretty far from FIL then? does he live in the same village now?

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#8 of 22 Old 03-17-2010, 05:06 PM
 
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IH, I've been through seasons of CD, sposies, combo and for 5 glorious months, no one in diapers. It's okay. You can only do so much.

Yay for the move! A bigger city will be fun.

Mandy, Jesus loving, homebirthing, cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding, non-vaxing, food growing, homeschooling, hippy mama of 4.
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#9 of 22 Old 03-17-2010, 05:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mandy- thanks.. I felt terrible giving up CDing and I hate sposies but its just so much easier when we have to hand wash and air dry everything at the moment...

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You'll be pretty far from FIL then? does he live in the same village now?
he lives about 5 mins from us at the moment.. and if we move to Munich we're about 2 hours away which by European standards is an insane distance so we probably won't see him any more then we see him now but it eliminates the surprise visits/request to do crap for him..

I can't tell you how much it stresses me out to have someone drop their 8 yr old off to our 400 sq ft apartment and not give me any sense of when they might be back to get him- or not.

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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#10 of 22 Old 03-18-2010, 01:49 AM
 
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Elliot is totally eyeing up my plate. Sorry buddy, no solids for couple months yet!

I took him to the doc today and it went surprisingly GREAT. Elliot is about 12lbs and he said to follow the baby's lead when it comes to starting solids. Awesome!
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#11 of 22 Old 03-18-2010, 02:24 AM
 
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Name - Alexandra and Benjamin

DDC Baby's Age - 3 months next week (whoa!)

Updates/Milestones - Ben has become so talkative! He's such a happy baby and a complete joy to be around - always smiling and laughing. He's grabbing things and is able to hold onto them for a minute or so now. He's trying to roll over, just not quite there yet. He thinks his feet are the coolest thing in the world. He is captivated by his big brothers - always trying to get their attention by cooing and squealing at them, and loves watching them play. (They're 2 and 4 and shower him with affection. )

Thoughts - I'm so glad spring is finally here! I feel like I've been shut in all winter. The sun has been helping my mood some and it's been nice to get out and get some exercise.

Mandy, I am in awe of you! I feel like I never get anything done and never fully have my act together. I try to stick to a schedule or at least a routine but something always happens and mucks it all up!

Having a bit of a personal crisis here. Really regretting ever getting into a relationship with DP. I'm realizing we've become two very, very different people with different values, goals, and worldviews and I'm finding myself living a life completely contradictory to who I am and what I believe. I had a radical change of faith last year (newly born-again Christian after a lifetime of atheism) and, as an agnostic, he seems to resent that. We're basically down to roommate status and I'm not sure how to proceed.

A, wife to R and mom to 3 boys: D~ 10/05, J~ 8/07, and B~ 12/09 jumpers.gif

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#12 of 22 Old 03-18-2010, 06:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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dantesmama- re your DP. I think its really awesome you've realized that now- I have had friends who feel that way but often don't admit it until many years (and kids) later. You have amazing strength to deal with this now

and yah for spring!

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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#13 of 22 Old 03-18-2010, 09:41 PM
 
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Having a bit of a personal crisis here. Really regretting ever getting into a relationship with DP. I'm realizing we've become two very, very different people with different values, goals, and worldviews and I'm finding myself living a life completely contradictory to who I am and what I believe. I had a radical change of faith last year (newly born-again Christian after a lifetime of atheism) and, as an agnostic, he seems to resent that. We're basically down to roommate status and I'm not sure how to proceed.
Man, this could be anyone w/ a newborn, couldn't it? I feel this daily w/ my partner and we are exactly alike. Sometimes I feel like mothering is the loneliest thing in the world.
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#14 of 22 Old 03-18-2010, 10:43 PM
 
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Mary & Emma

12 weeks, 3 days

(I keep forgetting to check here.... life is too busy!)

We did our "trial" day at daycare this week. Total FAIL. She wouldn't eat, I had to go over and feed her in the middle of the day, and she didn't even respond to me... she acted completely shell-shocked. She fell asleep on me that night at 6:30 and slept until 6:30 the next morning (only rousing enough to nurse). She wouldn't take a bottle from Daddy on his trial day either.

I go back to work 4 days a week next week... I hope she'll take a bottle by then.

She's cooing, rolling over onto her side, and that's about it. We still hate tummy time. We hate sitting up (for the most part).

Ok... and she's fussing so I have to go..... more later.

Living Angel Baby Born 12/21/09
Three angels watching over us.
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#15 of 22 Old 03-19-2010, 01:47 PM
 
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Name: Cloud and Nimbus

DDC Baby's Age: 17 weeks tomorrow; 4 months on Sunday!

Updates/Milestones: Ummmm...sometimes the days just sort of blur together! Let's see...I put him in something 3/6 mo. size on Wednesday and it fit. It's a lot smaller than a lot of my other 3/6 mo. clothes, but still. He passed a toy from one hand to the other pretty deftly on Monday, but I have no idea if it was intentional or not. He gets stronger at assisted standing every day. For the last week, he's been able to manage 3-4 seconds or more completely holding his own weight. He's holding his head up steadily enough during tummy time that I actually got some photos of him looking up finally. He likes peek-a-boo, still likes reading books...sometimes 8 or 9 in a day. It seems like he's been doing more stuff, but maybe not. Like I said, a blur.

I think maybe I'm seeing some improvement from the elimination diet. He's spit up less the last three days. I've been eating less wheat without eliminating it entirely, so I think it's either that or the dairy getting out of my system that's helping.

I don't know if it's helping the fussiness/BF resisting. Wednesday, we had a great, unfussy day and a great, non-spitty day, but then at night he got super fussy and wouldn't sleep. Yesterday, he was fussy all afternoon and evening to the point that I couldn't nurse him anywhere but in bed, but then he was fine from 11 pm on. Whatever it is that makes him fuss at the boob, it's not time related, because it switches often like that. The only time I can predict is the first couple of feedings in the morning, which generally go well.

He's been really restless at night the last few nights. Wednesday night he didn't get to sleep until 4 am and then was restless, a double whammy. Last night, though, he at least got to sleep at 1:30 am (even more impressive considering daylight savings time), but *I* couldn't sleep. Plus I was all paranoid, like when he was a newborn, and had to check his breathing every ten minutes while I was lying there not sleeping. He's still asleep now...I'm not.

Thoughts: I'm feeling very housebound and alone lately. DH was gone all day three days out of four last weekend, and then played video games most of the day when he was here. My mom has been sick and not able to come visit. I missed my mom's group again yesterday. Nimbus doesn't really nap easily anymore unless he's napping next to me, so other than the couple of times a day when we get down on the floor and play and read books, I almost never get to do anything but BF, wrestle with him when he pulls away, burp him endlessly, change diapers and sit/lie there getting a backache while he naps. It seems like we're ALWAYS breastfeeding, more than when he was a newborn or going through any (other?) growth spurt. BFing just takes a long time when it takes so long to convince him that yes, that is the nipple he has been asking for. Plus, I let him go as long as he wants on a side because I'm afraid he won't go on the second side if I try to switch him. Which I'm sure is good in someways--he has to be getting a ton of hindmilk, and it's probably good for my supply because even if he doesn't do both sides, he nurses about every hour or two almost all day long--but I know it's contributing to the length of time it takes to satisfy his little tummy. Plus, I feel increasingly stuck...how am I supposed to go anywhere ever if he sometimes will only nurse in bed???

I'm losing a ton of weight between the elimination diet and just plain not getting to eat. I swear this is worse than the newborn period...when he was a newborn, I had help, anyway.

I'm nervous about that with this walk I'm taking him on...I hope I can fill him up well when I wake him up in a couple minutes. And on Sunday, we're taking him to a restaurant for the first time, and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I wish I could just have them all go without him and me, but at this point that's not an option. I guess I can retreat to the car if things get dicey.

I'm working really hard on not being frustrated. If I make any kind of frustrated noise, I force myself to go into a happy, cutesy voice and talk about the problem in big words that there's no way he'll understand.

This is just a phase, yes? Please say it's just a phase...I want to get out there and do stuff with him, now that he's really alert and into the world and the sun is out!

Cloud, mommy to her happy little Nimbus, born 11/09!
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#16 of 22 Old 03-19-2010, 04:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Man, this could be anyone w/ a newborn, couldn't it? I feel this daily w/ my partner and we are exactly alike. Sometimes I feel like mothering is the loneliest thing in the world.
So true. I have been feeling this way as well lately too. Some days I feel like I have no idea who my DH is- he went from being really laid back to really short tempered with DS. (see 'other' board about it)

cloudbutterfly-- I think this is a hard age (like all ages it seems). It feels like DS suddenly stopped sleeping completely and needs to eat all the time as well. I joked with my DH that the reason why we lose some much weight PP is because we don't have time to eat- were always feeding the DS/DD.. As for eating out- you might be surprised how well it goes- we have taken DS out and for the most part its been super easy, even more so then when we eat at home..
Can you get out and make yourself walk once a day, with or without DS? I found for me even 10 mins can make a huge difference-- just forcing myself to get dressed and get out.

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#17 of 22 Old 03-19-2010, 05:11 PM
 
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cloudbutterfly-- I think this is a hard age (like all ages it seems). It feels like DS suddenly stopped sleeping completely and needs to eat all the time as well. I joked with my DH that the reason why we lose some much weight PP is because we don't have time to eat- were always feeding the DS/DD.. As for eating out- you might be surprised how well it goes- we have taken DS out and for the most part its been super easy, even more so then when we eat at home..
Can you get out and make yourself walk once a day, with or without DS? I found for me even 10 mins can make a huge difference-- just forcing myself to get dressed and get out.
I just got back from my walk, and it's made a huge difference in how I feel. I think I'm going to make an effort to go with the other moms 3 times a week, even if it means losing sleep...maybe it will help Nimbus figure out his days and nights! He didn't seem to enjoy it, but he didn't protest either. He slept through the first half and then looked at me suspiciously for the second. Probably wondering who the lady with the sunglasses and real non-pajama clothes on was.

At this rate, I'm going to be thinner and in better shape than I ever was as an adult. Who knew pregnancy could be an effective weight loss plan. Yesterday I kind of felt like the girl who cried wolf...I hadn't eaten anything all day, but DH didn't quite grasp that I really meant it when I said I was starving. I've been hungry for days...I miss dairy so, so much!

Cloud, mommy to her happy little Nimbus, born 11/09!
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#18 of 22 Old 03-20-2010, 02:01 AM
 
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Having a bit of a personal crisis here. Really regretting ever getting into a relationship with DP. I'm realizing we've become two very, very different people with different values, goals, and worldviews and I'm finding myself living a life completely contradictory to who I am and what I believe. I had a radical change of faith last year (newly born-again Christian after a lifetime of atheism) and, as an agnostic, he seems to resent that. We're basically down to roommate status and I'm not sure how to proceed.

DH and I are so depleted from being patient with the kids all day that we can barely remember who we are anymore, much less why we liked each other. No advice, just big big hugs.

cloudbutterfly - I think this is just a weird, distractible age for nursing. Elliot pulls off lots and doesn't seem to get filled up even though he desperately wanted to nurse 2 seconds before. His sister did it too. This too shall pass.
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#19 of 22 Old 03-20-2010, 08:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DH and I are so depleted from being patient with the kids all day that we can barely remember who we are anymore, much less why we liked each other.

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#20 of 22 Old 03-23-2010, 10:49 PM
 
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dantesmama - That sounds like a very difficult situation. :

Cloudbutterfly - I'm dealing with similar breastfeeding issues. The only way I can get Everett to eat these days is in bed with no one else in the room. Otherwise, he's really fussy and doesn't eat much. It's not easy with my 4 year old also needing my attention. Thankfully, the 7 year old can manage without me most of the day. Although of course I have mother guilt. I remember that my DD went through many phases like this. The phases will come and go.

Di Linh, mama to DS1 (7), DD(4), DS2 (b 12/01/09)
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#21 of 22 Old 03-27-2010, 12:50 PM
 
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Hey there, finally getting to check in here and we get the notice that the DDC is closing! I swear, every day I try and post to the weekly thread and I just cannot get to it! I feel so bad being out of touch with everyone! I've been wanting to find out how your babies are doing and share what is going on with us!

It has been really overwhelming with 3 kids, but I'm doing it. Day by day. Sometimes I feel like I just can't go on, I can't do this, but then I know I AM doing it, and we're all ok! The spring weather and being able to get outside and be out later in the evenings is helping so much.

The baby wakes up probably 2x per night, and usually just nurses a tiny bit and goes back to sleep. But I often can't get back to sleep after the first waking, so when she wakes at 1am, it's brutal. Sometimes she is up around 5am for the day, and smiles and talks for an hour, and goes back to sleep just when it's time for me to get up, and I'm totally shot for the day.

On weekends my dh will take her for a night so I can take a sleeping pill for the 2nd half of the night and get a few more hours, but I only have a little bit of milk stored up so I get paranoid about running out.

I've gotten so many calls for postpartum work (I'm a pp doula) and have said yes to a couple moms, but now I'm panicking over it- I barely have any milk stored, and the elaborate arrangements I'm having to make for childcare for 3 kids at a moment's notice is giving me so much anxiety I'm getting even less sleep worrying over it. And paying for 3x babysitting, I will probably end up PAYING to work, so it is really not worth it. I think I will back off working after I finish with these ladies and be satisfied with the PP help I do via LLL!

In other baby milestone news, she isn't doing a whole lot physically, but that's normal for my slow-moving kids! She is smiling a lot, and when she's well rested and fed she "talks" and has all kinds of adorable conversations! I don't know how much she weighs but she moved into 3-6 month clothes this week. She isn't rolling over, but she has tilted to the side a few times! And her hair is long and growing Everywhere we go, people exclaim over her head of hair! Overall she is really peaceful, but not placid- she definitely lets us know when she's hungry or tired and will SCREAM when she's not happy! But in between she is a joy to be with.
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#22 of 22 Old 03-27-2010, 05:45 PM
 
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I'm a big fan of unstructured time! Today I told dh my goals are to not get dressed, take a nap and make dinner. (Then I remembered all the stuff I have to do. ) We tend to have nothing but unstructured time in the summer...okay, there is definatly some structure, just not as much as the rest of the year.
Mandy, thanks for this, for some reason it makes me feel good! I often feel bad b/c I'm not doing all kinds of creative homeschooling projects or trips or cool stuff I see others doing. Basically, the preschool commute, taking care of the baby, doing our paper-and-pencil homeschooling work, reading some books, taking an occasional trip to the zoo or a museum, not to mention grocery shopping, appointments, LLL calls, cleaning the house, trying to feed us- outside of that, the kids are getting LOTS of unstructured time. I try to see it in a good light, and just as a period of time and not forever, but sometimes it's hard convincing myself. On sunny days, it's been great that we have nothing to do but dig in the dirt and run around the yard. On rainy days, that means too much tv, though

: on Levi sleeping so well! hope it last a little while!

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We did our "trial" day at daycare this week. Total FAIL. She wouldn't eat, I had to go over and feed her in the middle of the day, and she didn't even respond to me... she acted completely shell-shocked. She fell asleep on me that night at 6:30 and slept until 6:30 the next morning (only rousing enough to nurse). She wouldn't take a bottle from Daddy on his trial day either.

I go back to work 4 days a week next week... I hope she'll take a bottle by then.
I know that had to be tough It WILL get better, and become more routine. I think the anticipation of it and that first week will be the hardest, then you'll settle into it and she'll get used to the bottle and the caregivers. And if she doesn't take the bottle, hopefully she'll get through using alternate means and be on to solids and breastmilk in a sippy cup in a few short months.

Dantesmama- that does sound like a hard situation. It is hard to be on different pages spiritually. Thinking of you, and hoping that in time it becomes clear what to do regarding your relationship with DP.
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