January Mamas, Pregnant after Loss or Infertility - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-28-2009, 12:01 PM
 
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"nice to meet the source of my current misory"

that made me laugh
was exactly how i felt yesterday can't believe a tiny little worm could make me feel so ill!

29/07/09...baby Samson, lost at 16 weeks.
with DH for 6 years, looking for lots of sticky baby dust for our baby.
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:13 PM
 
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popping in to say hi! so glad for those who have seen babies/heard heartbeats.

i've had spotting, twice. and an ultrasound the next day, twice. both were quickies; just wanted to see the baby and heartbeat. and i did! so, so far, good news. after my physical, the midwife agrees with me that it's my darned friable cervix that's causing all the trouble this time. it bleeds when i even think about it.

i feel horrible most of the time, which is largely good news. i can feel my uterus when my bladder's full in the morning, and all my pants are tight now. it's good to feel like i'm having a normal pregnancy.

~Serina~
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Old 05-28-2009, 04:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Jools!

Serina- Glad the spotting was nothing!

I had my first midwife appointment today. It went really well. Mostly just focused on my diet and what I should be eating to keep the babies healthy.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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Ugh. Why do I do this to myself? I've been exhausted, nauseated, and can not find a single thing to eat. Today, I wake up fine. And now I'm scared. I did feel very tired and dizzy today, but that's it- I've been able to eat just fine. I'm so nervous. Yes, my hcg was 49,600 at just over 6 weeks; and yes I saw a heartbeat last week, but still. I'm so mad at myself for not just trusting. What I need to do is take advantage and eat and replenish before the next little hormone wave, but I can't help but to be really freaked out. Anyone else having this go on?

Mama to a beautiful little girl, born July 18, 2007
Eager for a VBAC some time around April 10, 2010!
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Old 05-29-2009, 10:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Clara- I think it is completely normal to go through that. And you are normal for feeling nervous about it. Try to relax and enjoy the symptom-free days (easier said than done).

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Old 05-30-2009, 01:59 AM
 
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I think it is normal, too. And have the same worries everytime I feel a twinge or feel well. Crazy (for me). I just keep telling myself that everything is as it needs to be and there is nothing I can do, so relax.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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Old 05-30-2009, 02:40 PM
 
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Yeah, today I'm feeling rotten again, so yay! I'm glad I ate the other day. I just feel so blech.

I keep wondering, what will my new milestone be now? With Gianna, I sighed a big breath of relief at 8 weeks. My loss before her was at about 6 weeks. My loss in February was at 12 weeks and some days (although I think the baby became eternal at around 8-9 weeks).

I'm 8 weeks tomorrow, and I still need that sigh of relief. I wonder if it will be when I hear the heartbeat? I'm trying to let go, and give this whole thing to God, but it's a lot easier said than done.

Mama to a beautiful little girl, born July 18, 2007
Eager for a VBAC some time around April 10, 2010!
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Old 05-30-2009, 04:44 PM
 
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Doulaclara- I hear ya on trying to give it to God. I try to do it everyday. I might feel better around 10 weeks once I see a fetus on ultrasound that measures 10 weeks and/or hearing the heartbeat on doppler. Several of my losses went past 8 weeks but didnt grow past 6.5-8.5 weeks. So I am in a critical place right now. When I had my second son he was after two losses. I was so nervous I rented a doppler. It really did ease my mind. I saved its use for when I was really feeling so on the edge. I too worry if I am not sick enough and actually want to feel ill. Anyway its all normal, and it sure would be nice to live the in the land of ignorance and bliss!

Kerry, happy wife to hubby Chad, mama to ds 6, Rainbow ds 2, and 4
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Old 05-30-2009, 10:23 PM
 
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Big sigh....I feel very comfortable here

Congrats to all the HB and U/S. My *plan* is to UC/UP but since I already have an OB/GYN appt in June I will keep it and get initial blood work, pap ect done. I haven't been to a Gyn appointment since I have moved to FL as I have used a midwife with my last 3 births. The very last one was UP so I cannot imagine going back to monthly visits for pregnancy. the "plan" inlcudes an U/S to check for placental placement but no "sex" check. Forgive the fact that I don't sound excited, I am just realy nervous right now and am checking every time I wipe. I hope I will losen up 2nd tri (even though I have had a 2nd tri loss too) UGH I will relax after baby is born? Breathe, Heidi, Breathe.

That said my due date is either the 29th or 30th depending on what site you use...... Hi!

 Mom of many minions . . . babyf.gif jumpers.gif     jumpers.gif     jumpers.gif
"And when our baby stirs and struggles to be born it compels humility: what we began is now its own." Margaret Mead 
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Old 05-30-2009, 11:51 PM
 
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Nummies,
Can I join even if I am due in Feb?
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Old 05-30-2009, 11:58 PM
 
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Nummies,
Can I join even if I am due in Feb?
Technically I'm due in Dec, LOL. So join up!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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Old 05-31-2009, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Clara- I am hoping that your milestones come quickly for you.

Laci- Yes, please join us! I miss chatting with you! I am so happy for you sweetie! How are you doing? How many follicles did you have this time?

Zona- Welcome to our group. I'm sorry for all you have been through.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:20 PM
 
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Thanks nummies

 Mom of many minions . . . babyf.gif jumpers.gif     jumpers.gif     jumpers.gif
"And when our baby stirs and struggles to be born it compels humility: what we began is now its own." Margaret Mead 
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Old 05-31-2009, 05:18 PM
 
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I had 4 mature eggs! But I hope they didn't all sick, yikes! How many did you have Nummies?
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Old 05-31-2009, 07:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had two follicles Laci and both took.

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Old 06-01-2009, 10:39 AM
 
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Hi mommas, it is nice to be back! I work weekends so I can't post but I thought about you all over the weekend. Welcome to our new friends: Laci and Zona!

Per tracking info, my Doppler should arrive today. We did hear JingleBell last Wednesday at doctor's office with his Doppler but I'm sure the one I bought isn't as sensitive as doctor's. The question is: Do I try to find JingleBell with my new Doppler today or do I WAIT and take my Doppler to doctor's appointment Wednesday? I still have lots of symptoms and feel everything is fine. But our last loss occurred sometime between 8w and 9w2d so I am very anxious for some reassurance. I know I will think the worst if I cannot find JingleBell today, even with the knowledge that it is early and my Doppler is less sensitive. But I really want to try because the reassurance would be wonderful! What to do?!?

Amy

Wife to K since 6/95 Mommy to "The Fellas" ages 13, 10 and 8 and our rainbow girly 12/09.
Always remembering my babies who could not stay '08 '08 '09
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Old 06-01-2009, 10:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi mommas, it is nice to be back! I work weekends so I can't post but I thought about you all over the weekend. Welcome to our new friends: Laci and Zona!

Per tracking info, my Doppler should arrive today. We did hear JingleBell last Wednesday at doctor's office with his Doppler but I'm sure the one I bought isn't as sensitive as doctor's. The question is: Do I try to find JingleBell with my new Doppler today or do I WAIT and take my Doppler to doctor's appointment Wednesday? I still have lots of symptoms and feel everything is fine. But our last loss occurred sometime between 8w and 9w2d so I am very anxious for some reassurance. I know I will think the worst if I cannot find JingleBell today, even with the knowledge that it is early and my Doppler is less sensitive. But I really want to try because the reassurance would be wonderful! What to do?!?

Amy
That is a tough one. I know that with my last pregnancy, even though I heard the heartbeat around 10 weeks at the midwife's office, I could not hear it if I tried with her doppler myself (I also worked there). The heartbeat in a baby that small is sometimes really hard to find. So I would probably wait, but I know that the temptation would be hard to resisit.

On that note, I will be taking a break from the DDC for awhile. to all!

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
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Old 06-01-2009, 10:50 AM
 
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That is a tough one. I know that with my last pregnancy, even though I heard the heartbeat around 10 weeks at the midwife's office, I could not hear it if I tried with her doppler myself (I also worked there). The heartbeat in a baby that small is sometimes really hard to find. So I would probably wait, but I know that the temptation would be hard to resisit.

On that note, I will be taking a break from the DDC for awhile. to all!
MandI, I hope the attack in the other thread isn't your reason for leaving. People get to sensaive sometimes and forgot to take things as opinion. Please stay!

Amy, where did you buy your doppler. I know it was mentioned earlier but I am too lazy to back track this morning.

Bec, Married eternally to Dan for ten years. Parents to A (8/17/06) O (12/30/09) one love lost (2/07/09) and my little twin angels (9/24/11, 10/11/11)

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Old 06-01-2009, 11:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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MandI, I hope the attack in the other thread isn't your reason for leaving. People get to sensaive sometimes and forgot to take things as opinion. Please stay!

Amy, where did you buy your doppler. I know it was mentioned earlier but I am too lazy to back track this morning.
No dear, it's not that. I am just going through a rough patch in the pregnancy.

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Old 06-01-2009, 11:04 AM
 
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Mandie and RoseRed. I bought the Doppler on eBay. This is it: http://www.sonotraxfetaldoppler.com/pro.html

Mandie, I hope you will be back soon (or better still, don't go at all ) I always look forward to reading your posts and will miss you if you take a break. At least stay in here with us! PLEEEEEEEZE!

Amy

Wife to K since 6/95 Mommy to "The Fellas" ages 13, 10 and 8 and our rainbow girly 12/09.
Always remembering my babies who could not stay '08 '08 '09
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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Nummies please take care of yourself and come back soon!
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Old 06-01-2009, 03:23 PM
 
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Hi,
I'm new to the site, but know I belong in this thread in particular. I am cautiously posting after obsessively reading this DDC since my BFP on May 16. You all have been my source of comfort and support for the last 2 weeks, which to me, have been an eternity.
I have 2 children, 14 and 7. Both complicated pregnancies, although I didn't know or appreciate it with my first. I have had 4 missed miscarriages (explains the age difference!). My first was "found" at 14 weeks, after not finding a heartbeat. CNM advised me to wait and it would happen naturally. I guess I'm abnormal, because after weekly blood draws and passing my due date, I ended up having a D&C. Next one needed multiple D&C's. My body just doesn't let go. (both of my births required manual removal of the placenta too!)
Needless to say, I am terrified and exceedingly anxious. I have already had 2 ultrasounds (at my ob's request, not mine). Saw a heartbeat last week. Surprised it was visible, as my legs were shaking so badly. It took every effort to keep my knees from knocking. I wish this was reassuring, but it isn't after seeing a heartbeat in 3 m/c. The pressure is intensified because this, according to DH, is my LAST pg.
I have another u/s this Friday. The suspense is awful. Even when the babies had expired, I continued to be pregnant with the "products of conception". The placenta continued to produce pg hormones, and fooled my body into thinking the baby was still growing too. I cannot rely on my body to identify myself as pg or miscarrying. Waiting week by week for a dr or u/s tech to tell me is dreadful. Although I would really need to if I end up with a miracle, seeing as I rid our house of anything remotely needed for a child under 7, I don't feel entitled to make any baby plans or even think of the possibilities. I am actively trying not to impose the past on my present. Not planning the future. Reminding myself I have now, and trying very hard to hold onto the joy in that.
Thanks for listening,
Leah
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Old 06-01-2009, 04:49 PM
 
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Leah, welcome, and I'm so sorry to hear about your history. This is, for sure, the right place for you.

Mandie, I agree- take good care, and come back when you are ready. I go through times where I need to be away from MDC, too (Like, um, for almost two years?) I hope your time away isn't that long, though. Lots of love to you and both of your beans.

Mama to a beautiful little girl, born July 18, 2007
Eager for a VBAC some time around April 10, 2010!
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Old 06-01-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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Welcome Leah!

Mandie, I look forward to your return - whenever it feels right.

AFM, I just came back from an u/s that was not nearly as reassuring as I wanted it to be. We saw a gest.sac and a yolk sac, and the tech said that maybe she saw the little dot of an embryo, but, basically, we saw a pregnancy that's about 5 days 'younger' than it should be. No heartbeat. No embryo to see to measure, really. So, I'm a little freaked out right now. I was charting, and I know I ovulated on April 29th or possibly the 30th. Conception could have happened the day after that, I guess, so it's possible I'm 2 days off my dates - but not 5 or 6. Is it OK for development to be off by several days at this stage -- or is this a sign that mc may be on its way?

Now I'm mad at myself for scheduling so early. I knew that not-quite-7-weeks was the earliest I could hope to see a heartbeat, and by doing it this early I just set myself up for more anxiety. And I HATE this uncertainty. I know we all have to let it in, but arrrgh - it's not fun.

Happily muddled mom to baby Kiki, 11/2010

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Old 06-01-2009, 06:13 PM
 
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Welcome Leah!

Mandie, I look forward to your return - whenever it feels right.

AFM, I just came back from an u/s that was not nearly as reassuring as I wanted it to be. We saw a gest.sac and a yolk sac, and the tech said that maybe she saw the little dot of an embryo, but, basically, we saw a pregnancy that's about 5 days 'younger' than it should be. No heartbeat. No embryo to see to measure, really. So, I'm a little freaked out right now. I was charting, and I know I ovulated on April 29th or possibly the 30th. Conception could have happened the day after that, I guess, so it's possible I'm 2 days off my dates - but not 5 or 6. Is it OK for development to be off by several days at this stage -- or is this a sign that mc may be on its way?

Now I'm mad at myself for scheduling so early. I knew that not-quite-7-weeks was the earliest I could hope to see a heartbeat, and by doing it this early I just set myself up for more anxiety. And I HATE this uncertainty. I know we all have to let it in, but arrrgh - it's not fun.
I sympathize--they weren't even sure if they saw anything at my ultrasound 2 weeks ago. I was 8 weeks going by LMP but not yet 7 weeks going by ovulation... My hcg levels were still good when they tested them again, and I have another ultrasound tomorrow. I'm hoping this one goes well. I'm certainly feeling pregnant, and not having symptoms like when I had my miscarriage, so if the ultrasound will back up my feelings on that, I'll feel pretty good...

Emily
Married 7/26/2008 -:- Remembering Joseph *10/9/2009* and two other losses since 9/08 -:- Expectingenergy.gif mid-September.

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Old 06-01-2009, 10:10 PM
 
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I had spotting this morn and don't have an appt until next week. the 8th is supposed to be my "annual" that I havn/t had in 6 years. ...

 Mom of many minions . . . babyf.gif jumpers.gif     jumpers.gif     jumpers.gif
"And when our baby stirs and struggles to be born it compels humility: what we began is now its own." Margaret Mead 
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Old 06-02-2009, 11:09 AM
 
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Becca - U/s dating can be off by as much as 4 days so don't stress to much (I know saying that doesn't make it helpful) as for babies growing slower I have no idea. Are you going to get anotehr u/s or wait for the blood draw?

Emily - Good luck on your u/s today (it is today right) I will keep my fingers crossed for good news. :

Zona Hopefully the spotting was nothing. Are you changing your appointment to a prenatal? -I am bad about the annuals too, so you are not alone lol

Bec, Married eternally to Dan for ten years. Parents to A (8/17/06) O (12/30/09) one love lost (2/07/09) and my little twin angels (9/24/11, 10/11/11)

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Old 06-02-2009, 11:44 AM
 
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...

Emily - Good luck on your u/s today (it is today right) I will keep my fingers crossed for good news. :
...
Thanks! I'm really nervous, to be honest. I don't think there's anything to worry about--if I hadn't seen any doctors yet, I think I'd actually be feeling pretty optimistic by now...

Emily
Married 7/26/2008 -:- Remembering Joseph *10/9/2009* and two other losses since 9/08 -:- Expectingenergy.gif mid-September.

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Old 06-02-2009, 12:01 PM
 
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We were in and now we are out. This is just too cruel. This is the second m/c following the stillbirth of our son Jan 08...
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Old 06-02-2009, 12:24 PM
 
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Mirtodd & Zona I am so sorry.

Christie SAHM to DD~10/03, DS~4/06, & ~3/09 &
Arrived 1-14-10
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