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#1 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 11:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm a staunch home-birther. In TX, that was fine because the laws were not nearly as archaic as they are here in MO.

I'm very torn about the idea of birthing in a hospital. I hate the loss of control and the 'superior' attitude they have. Not to mention, the difficulty they give when you opt out of 'treatments' like vit. K shots and eye goop. If I birth in the hospital I know they'll label me adversarial(sp?).

Anyone else obsessing over birth options yet?
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#2 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:09 PM
 
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I'd love to try a homebirth. I'm just having trouble finding a midwife close enough in our state. This is my fifth and final pregnancy and I'd like it to be at our home we just bought last year. I think that would be an awesome thing to tell my child. You were born in this house. I haven't given up yet. My midwife, who lives 60 miles away and over a mountain pass, is checking around for someone even 10 miles closer. It doesn't look promising though because I had to travel the 60 miles to find her! She thinks the child might be born at home regardless of our plans because my labors our so quick now. I just don't want to be shipped off to the local hospital, (only 7 miles away), for an uncomplicated birth. Any suggestions?
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#3 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I totally relate. I usually go about three hours, start to finish, now. I just do not want the stress of trying to 'make it' to the hospital 35 miles away. That's another issue.

Have you been to the Unassisted Childbirth forum yet?
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#4 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You know, you mentioned a mountain pass ... we just moved to MO and it gets icy here in the winter. We are from south TX and are not used to that. I had not even considered getting out on icy roads in advanced labor.

AAAARRRGGHH.
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#5 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:21 PM
 
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I am having a UC...

My first was with a midwife and I ended up being transfered because of "Failure to wait" and I had to fight to not get a c/s... (they were threatening me by saying they would go to a judge and I was putting ds's life in danger and he would never come out because my pelvis was too small and he was too big... when really he was posterior and it was a long labour and when he finally turned (after 49 hours) he was born without me even pushing once)
I would never go to a hospital again unless it was a true emergency.

Anyway... ds #2 was also posterior and I was threatened with another transfer and refused, another midwife came in and helped get confidence in myself and ignore everyone and listen to my body... I threw everyone out, got some sleep while going through transition and when I woke up he turned and came out as fast as my first.... the student midwife that was there pulled on the cord to "help" detach the placenta and I hemorrhaged.

DS#3 was a full UP/UC and he was the biggest baby and the easiest and quickest labour with the least stress... I could not go back...

 
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#6 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dilemna with a UC is the 'danger' of a transfer or an investigation by children's protective services. I have to weigh the importance of birthing MY WAY, plus the potential risks of hospital interventions during labor and with the baby after with the potential for life/family altering consequences of an overzealous CPS worker that believes doctors are gods and women should not be allowed to birth at home.
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#7 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:41 PM
 
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I am having a homebirth with 2 wonderful midwives.

However, because of the very real possibility of twins (I had fertility treatments with two eggs and my levels are very high), I am kinda nervous about how that will play out in a homebirth situation.

I'm scared to go back to the hospital. I had a fairly traumatic birth with my son and honestly stepping foot in a hospital causes me to panic.

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#8 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:47 PM
 
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My dilemna with a UC is the 'danger' of a transfer or an investigation by children's protective services. I have to weigh the importance of birthing MY WAY, plus the potential risks of hospital interventions during labor and with the baby after with the potential for life/family altering consequences of an overzealous CPS worker that believes doctors are gods and women should not be allowed to birth at home.
I can deal with the doctor at the local hospital if I had to transfer and I know many of the nurses at the local hospital because I use to give the breastfeeding portion of the prenatal visits...

and as for the legalities, UC is legal and I have nothing to hide... so I don't see a problem...

 
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#9 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:48 PM
 
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I'd love to have a homebirth. I would freak everyone out though, this time, so I am doing the "showing up pushing" thing at the hospital I reckon. Unless he or she comes out sooner!

You can probably understand why I say this. There's no way on earth or in hell I am having another cesarean unless it is an absolute emergency. I would sue. I'm serious.

Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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#10 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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I had a wonderful home birth with #1 and am definitely planning on birthing at home with this one. I was born at home and I was lucky enough to witness the births of both my little brothers at home. I can't imagine doing it any other way!

PT SAHM to DD1 10.23.07 and DD2 1.23.10 : both homebirth.jpg

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#11 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 01:05 PM
 
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I think I am having a hospital birth this time. I had an attempted homebirth with ds (hospital transfer) and a successful homebirth with dd. I think it just might be easier for us all the way around to have a planned hospital birth this time, though. I want the kids to be able to stay here at home while I'm in labor (which they can't if I'm having a homebirth), plus I won't have to drag everyone out to Children's Hospital for the hearing test and newborn screen. And financially it would be tough to gather all the $$ for a homebirth by January.

I haven't totally ruled out homebirth yet, I'm just going to take my time to decide.

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#12 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 01:19 PM
 
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I am planning a hospital birth with an OB... as CNM don't largely deliver here in St Louis. Due to the fact that I work in the hospital I will birth in, I have a really high comfort level with it, and to me it doesn't feel cold or sterile. Hopefully I can have the birth I planned last time with DH, utilizing birth hypnosis, laboring in the tub, and a vbac.

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#13 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 01:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Usually Curious View Post
My dilemna with a UC is the 'danger' of a transfer or an investigation by children's protective services. I have to weigh the importance of birthing MY WAY, plus the potential risks of hospital interventions during labor and with the baby after with the potential for life/family altering consequences of an overzealous CPS worker that believes doctors are gods and women should not be allowed to birth at home.
You're absolutely right that you have to weigh your options and decide which is best for you; but I encourage you to really do some research and make your decisions based on facts, rather than created scenarios that are very unlikely. Facts show that UC is indeed legal in all states except Nebraska, and even there the law isn't enforceable and never has been enforced because it simply states that a baby can not be caught by the father in a non emergency situation (I couldn't make this up if I tried) How, do you prove a 'non-emergency' and it doesn't say anything about a mother or someone else catching the baby.

I know 3 women who have had successful UC births without any politics. Also, when I went to the state office to get a birth certificate for my DD, since homebirth with a midwife is illegal in my state, I reported it as an UC childbirth. Nobody asked any questions nor did CPS come knocking down my door. Just my 2 cents, take it or leave it
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#14 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 02:32 PM
 
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Anyone else obsessing over birth options yet?
YES! I want a homebirth, am fantasizing that that's what I'll get but I'm just not feeling hopeful.

We had a great hospital experience with DD's birth and I wouldn't be overwhelmingly sad to have something like it again this time around. I so wanted to try for a homebirth last time but DH wasn't comfortable with it (he's more on board now that he's seen that my "natural" ways aren't baloney )

This time... I suppose there could be weather to contend with but that would be an issue either way - we're 30-45 minutes from the hospital (without winter weather). So, worst case scenario would be a transfer from home with bad weather at the last minute.

Obsessing? Definitely.
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#15 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 02:54 PM
 
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actually, UC is very much legal in nebraska. i just had one 3 years ago. and while techinically it is 'illegal' for a father to catch his baby, it's true they never enforce it. in fact, they put my husband down as the person who 'delivered' the baby, even though i asked them to list myself. all my paperwork reflected that i had an unassisted pregnancy and an unassisted birth, and no one gave me any grief. i didn't even have to provide proof of pregnancy.

here's the opinion on the father catching the baby bit:

http://www.ago.ne.gov/agopinions/det..._search_id=713

there are also underground midwives in the area. here's the opinion on 'lay midwives':

http://www.ago.ne.gov/agopinions/det...search_id=1523

i'll be doing another UP/UC.

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#16 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 02:58 PM
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I want a homebirth, but there are so many factors for me.
With DD I planned one, had the pool all set up and everything. Then when she was just shy of 41 weeks I felt off, so I called my midwife, we checked my bloodpressure and it was high. She instructed me to go to the hospital, where my bloodpressure was fine. Anyhow they were about to release me and they did an ultrasound 'cause I was nearly 41 weeks and they found out that I had no amniotic fluid, but my water hadn't broken. I was induced, it all went to pot and I had an emergency c-section the next morning. (DD's heartrate was hovering around 50)

So this time I want a homebirth, again. And we've bought a new house with a lovely soaker tub that would be perfect for a waterbirth. But I'm going to wait and see first to see if I am pregnant with multiples (I had fertility issues and an IUI with 7 eggs) and I don't know if I will hire my midwife right away or wait to make sure I don't have the same issue with my placenta which is what everyone agrees is what caused me to have no amniotic fluid.

Also everyone (doctors and midwife) think that my placenta got old fast and that's why I had no water, it also caused DD to be small, and hungry, and I had no milk, she had a seizure and ended up in the NICU, so I am totally scared of that happening again.

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
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#17 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 03:17 PM
 
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I am planning a hospital birth with an OB... as CNM don't largely deliver here in St Louis. Due to the fact that I work in the hospital I will birth in, I have a really high comfort level with it, and to me it doesn't feel cold or sterile.
I'm in STL, too. Where do you think you're delivering? I went to MoBap with my kid.

I had my daughter in the hospital with an OB and it was the picture perfect, intervention-free delivery. In fact, I was considered the rock star for actually going natural. It was just a really good experience.

For my last pregnancy my husband and I talked about homebirthing, but, like was mentioned in the quote - it's not so easy in this area.

Honestly, I would like to "accidentally" UC while the old man is at work so he doesn't worry.

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Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#18 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 03:55 PM
 
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I had planned a home birth with DS with a midwife. I started labor at home and things just did NOTTTT go how I wanted. Nothing medical, just did not feel I was getting what I needed (support, etc) from my midwife and became really uncomfortable. Ended up going to the hospital.
The hospital was actually quite wonderful. Very open, let the baby stay in the room, etc.

I would feel comfortable if I was going back to the same hospital, but we might be moving so I am not sure that is an option. I have a bitter taste in my mouth about midwifes and home birth

I am just so confused about what to do. I guess for now I am just waiting it out to see if we are moving or not before making any decisions.

Faiza married and with , mama to DS (09.23.08) and with #2 (due in June 2010).
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#19 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 04:36 PM
 
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Definitely a UC and UP again. Still debating if I want to hire a midwife or not, just in case and for paperwork. We used to live 35 minutes away from civilization, but now live literally next door to the hospital if there was a true emergemcy. I don't usually bleed much, never had complications, longest birth was like 6.5 hours. I feel educated enough to not need a midwife, but I also dread going in for the paperwork and getting flagged by CPS and in our new state only CNMs are recognized. I have not ever met a CNM I was impressed with or who would strike me as being okay with being on call for a UC. Still have to ask around to see how it actually plays out in real life though.

If I had one I'd want Angelina for my midwife, truly, just for the massages.

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#20 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 04:38 PM
 
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you bet!

I've interviewed one midwife already, and have 4 more interviews lined up in the next two weeks. Though deep inside I know that I'm going to have to choose between two midwives already, the other ones are just for covering my basis. I am so lucky to live in such a home birth friendly place!

I had my son in the hospital and it was ok, the birth itself was amazing and I did feel very empowered. But since then I have been working as a doula in hospitals in the area, including the one where I birthed, and there is no way in hell I'm having a hospital birth. Obviously if there's an emergency I will transfer, but I'm having this baby at home
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#21 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'd like to plan a UP/UC with the plan to just transfer if there is trouble, but that seems to be where most of the problems lie. Regardless of the legality, there are small, mean, bitter people out there in the world and they WILL try to make you pay if you deviate from the 'norm' in birthing. Why? I don't know.

It INFURIATES me that I should even have these concerns. It is MY body, MY child and I should be able to birth the way I want! Statistically, I am on solid ground in regards to birthing at home, but some medically minded people will just refuse to see.
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#22 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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i am fortunate to be in the position of having a homebirth-friendly doc in town. i have the option of seeing him for 'shadow care' and receiving care from him should i need to transfer, but i'm not quite sure if that's the route i want to take yet. i have no intentions of making any firm decisions until 20 weeks. nothing really to do before then anyways.

and yes, i agree, it is infuriating to have these concerns. i went through all this last time, too. but this time, i just feel so much more at peace with my decision. maybe because i've already done it once, i don't know.

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#23 of 79 Old 05-21-2009, 06:03 PM
 
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I'd like to plan a UP/UC with the plan to just transfer if there is trouble, but that seems to be where most of the problems lie. Regardless of the legality, there are small, mean, bitter people out there in the world and they WILL try to make you pay if you deviate from the 'norm' in birthing. Why? I don't know.

It INFURIATES me that I should even have these concerns. It is MY body, MY child and I should be able to birth the way I want! Statistically, I am on solid ground in regards to birthing at home, but some medically minded people will just refuse to see.
I understand it completely, but personally it just wouldn't factor in my choice to UC, the possibilities of transferring are too slim for me to make it the deciding factor.

There is only one doctor at the hospital here and he is not close to being home birth friendly or even naturally birth friendly (he has been known to fire women for having a doula) but if I was to transfer I would still stand up for my rights... I also would only transfer for a life or death emergency (not just tired etc) so I would probably go there with the expectation of a very medicalized treatment because that is their speciality (which is why I would never birth there in a non-emergency)

 
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#24 of 79 Old 05-22-2009, 05:48 AM
 
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I have had seven babies born at home, most UC. I have only ever had to speak to CPS one time regarding that. And then, only one time and the case was closed.

I would never allow a "potential" cps threat to dictate where I gave birth. I do get prenatal care (this shows that I am not medically neglecting the baby) and I also take the baby after birth to the pedi for a "check up" (again, showing that I am not neglecting the baby). So there would be no CPS case at all (which was proved the one time I did have them called).

If I do have to transfer, I have a doctor on record and so I just never mention I was planning a UC. (Only ever had to "transfer" once, and that was not really a transfer, just a sudden trip to the L&D for immediate induction due to pre-e/HELLPS. I never had to mention UC at all, though I did mourn my lost UC.)

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#25 of 79 Old 05-22-2009, 10:58 AM
 
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My OB was so fantastic with me when I labored Jacob (fetal demise) and the nurses were all amazing, so I really am looking forward to going back there.

In another city, I had a horrible birth experience when my son, Seth was born. I was planning a homebirth and went pre-eclamptic. The nurses were rude, the doctor was beyond rude. One woman came in and said she knew that people were treating me badly because of my homebirth choice, and she sympathized, but she was one person.

So hospital experiences can be the worst of the choices for sure, but in my case now, I feel safe. It's also the hospital where I work, and I love my hospital.

Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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#26 of 79 Old 05-22-2009, 11:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I could do 'shadow care' and end up with an 'oops'. I would have a really hard time making it to the hospital in time in any case. I will not risk delivering in the car or sliding around on the ice because we're hurrying.

I guess I need to hunt up a progressive pedi now.
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#27 of 79 Old 05-22-2009, 12:00 PM
 
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Apparently home birthing is illegal in Costa Rica...Midwives are not licensed to deliver babies on their own..the whole thing is over medicalized...but the hospital C-section rate is over EIGHTY percent...so no way in f-ing he** am I going to birth in a hospital. The C-section rate in Argentina was only 25% and still got talked into having a c-section which was totally unnecessary but when people tell you in a language that is not your mother tongue that your child is dying, you believe them, right?

ANYWAY I digress. I would like to do this:

http://www.welovecostarica.com/public/238.cfm

but if that's not possible, because of the paperwork etc, then maybe we will try this:

http://mamasol.com/

or this:

http://www.mamasalnacimiento.com/index.html

I have private insurance but it only cover 80% of the birth and nothing of the neo-natal care and only in approved hospitals...crappiest insurance EVER from my job.

I think we will just save our money up these next 8 months and have a birth that I know won't end up in stitches, so to speak.

I am really nervous about interviewing the birthing centers, but I really want something calm and peaceful. I will be really distraught if I have to go to the hospital again.

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#28 of 79 Old 05-22-2009, 03:14 PM
 
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I'd love to have a homebirth. I would freak everyone out though, this time, so I am doing the "showing up pushing" thing at the hospital I reckon. Unless he or she comes out sooner!

You can probably understand why I say this. There's no way on earth or in hell I am having another cesarean unless it is an absolute emergency. I would sue. I'm serious.
I'm with you - I'll be staying home as LONG as possible, and then showing up at the women's center.

I actually had a good experience there last time, except for the fact I ended up with a c/s. Everyone was healthy and happy, no issues... but I don't want a c/s again.
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#29 of 79 Old 05-22-2009, 04:47 PM
 
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I had a halfway decent birth experience on Langley Airforce Base with midwife. Could be better could be worse, but I never could get out of my mind that I am not sick. Six years later I'm ready to go my own way with my birth.

I'm interviewing CNM's and CPM's (who are nurses). On the day, when it comes--if I call them , I call them--if I don't--I don't. I will still use there service for limited prenatal care, getting to know you time, and post care.

Crunchy con wife with 1 DS and 1 lil DD born in Jan. I love breastfeeding, CDing and Friday night family bed.
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#30 of 79 Old 05-22-2009, 04:50 PM
 
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I totally relate. I usually go about three hours, start to finish, now. I just do not want the stress of trying to 'make it' to the hospital 35 miles away. That's another issue.
my last two labor/births were 1.5 hours (ellery at home) and 1 hour (asher at a freestanding birth center). so there's no way we'd get our kids dropped off somewhere and settled in and make it to the hospital on time.

we tentatively plan on another homebirth, though it will probably end up unassisted just because the midwife won't get here on time. that's okay. at least she'll try. we still have to work out the finances, though.

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