How do you deal with fears of m/c'ing? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 09:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Is anyone else paranoid like me? I try to keep a postive attitude, but I'm the type that will be checking my underwear for blood every time I go to the bathroom until I can feel the LO regularly.

Tell me I'm not the only one.

student momma to two great girls

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#2 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 09:04 AM
 
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You are not the only one. I am the same way. It is hard to get over that fear.

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#3 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 09:27 AM
 
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I do it to, and probably will until I have that first ultrasound and 22 weeks. its a hard thing not to look, so know your not alone.

Bec, Married eternally to Dan for ten years. Parents to A (8/17/06) O (12/30/09) one love lost (2/07/09) and my little twin angels (9/24/11, 10/11/11)

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#4 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 09:31 AM
 
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same thing here... I just wrote about it last night on my blog....

 
~paxye~
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
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#5 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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I did that last time around. I really felt like AF was about to start at any minute. I felt that way this week, too, but it's starting to go away.

I think it's normal.
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#6 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 09:40 PM
 
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it's hard not to worry. it's especially hard for those of us who have already gone through it not to be paranoid. i expect i'll be scared until i have a healthy baby in my arms.

mom to Andrew   born Feb 6th, already a mom to child with fur; and still missing and still wondering about the lost possibilities Mar 17, 2009
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#7 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 09:46 PM
 
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I was thinking about making a thread about this, too. Everytime I feel the least bit wet on my underwear [ Sorry, TMI ], I run to the restroom to check.. along with everytime I use the restroom, too. I don't remember ever being this paranoid with my first child.

brandi
Wife to Thomas (03/05) Mama to Tommy (04/06) & Emma (01/10)
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#8 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 10:10 PM
 
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my first pg was a loss. every pg since has seen me paranoid until i hear the heartbeat. even after that, i'll still check the tissue when i wipe. it never. goes. away. i'm especially freaking out right now because i'm not having morning sickness. lots of other symptoms, but no throwing up. who knows, maybe i just won't get that sick this time. i still won't feel 100% until i hear that heartbeat or feel a flutter...

i'm just trucking along like this is a guarantee. i find staying positive helps.

successful #2 Jan. 25th - welcome Maisie Elise!
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#9 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 10:15 PM
 
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I am having a hard time with this too which is funny because my first pregnancy, I don't think it even crossed my mind. I was oblivious to the chance (and frankly, I preferred it that way). I just have to keep telling myself over and over:
"If its meant to be, it will be." That is my mantra for life since I tend to get a little OCD about things anyway. It helps when I am going into one of my super paranoid times.

Novel writing student Mama to ds (8y) and new DD 1-13-10.

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#10 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 10:19 PM
 
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Me, too. Especially since I was much sicker at this point last time than I am now.

I just keep telling myself "I still haven't gotten my period..."

I don't have to be sick to have a baby. I don't have to be sick to have a baby....

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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#11 of 26 Old 05-23-2009, 10:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by THBVsMommy View Post
I was thinking about making a thread about this, too. Everytime I feel the least bit wet on my underwear [ Sorry, TMI ], I run to the restroom to check.. along with everytime I use the restroom, too. I don't remember ever being this paranoid with my first child.
Me too! And being pregnant increases the, uh, random wetness in my underwear. So it just makes me even more paranoid.

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Originally Posted by djinneyah View Post
my first pg was a loss. every pg since has seen me paranoid until i hear the heartbeat. even after that, i'll still check the tissue when i wipe. it never. goes. away. i'm especially freaking out right now because i'm not having morning sickness. lots of other symptoms, but no throwing up. who knows, maybe i just won't get that sick this time. i still won't feel 100% until i hear that heartbeat or feel a flutter...

i'm just trucking along like this is a guarantee. i find staying positive helps.
my first pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy. I got pregnant with DD almost right away after that and had to adopt the idea that "I will NOT have a m/c" I know that won't really make a difference if the pregnancy just isn't 'right' but it helped anyway.

I'm not sick yet either (other than just feeling 'blah')--just really bloated.

I'll feel better once I can poke the baby and it pokes back.

student momma to two great girls

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#12 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 12:25 AM
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I have the same fear too. I learned with DD (well into the 2nd trimester) that once you see the heartbeat the chance of a m/c drops a lot. So I am stressing right now, but when I have the u/s appointment on June 2, I am sure I'll feel better. My midwife also reminded me that I carry babies well... I just don't get them there easily or birth or b/f them easily!

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
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#13 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 01:24 AM
 
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I talk to the baby. And I think about her/him growing and changing... of course, this also makes me worried that I'm getting too attached and what if... but that's just crazy making! Of course I'm getting attached!!!

I guess, what I'm trying to say is that it's hard! There have been a few mc's in my circle of mamas and well, it's so terribly painful... But, for the most part, I tell myself that whatever is meant to happen will happen, and all I can do is be in the moment. And at the moment, I'm 8 weeks and sick as a dog... all good signs.

I wish you inner peace!

Agnieszka wife to Kevin, Kalina (Jan 7, 2005), Tosia (June 4, 2006) , and baby Emmett (Dec 27, 2009)
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#14 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 01:36 AM
 
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i am joining your club, so you are def. not alone. i fear this too- as i am 39 and this baby is soooo wanted. so i am paranoid. every crampy symptom, every wetness in the panties sends me to the bathroom!

Mama to a 3 year old awesome kid, Rowan (aka Mister Boopy) and TTC another at 43!


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#15 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 03:01 AM
 
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I think it is perfectly natural. My second pregnancy was fraught with worry. I have an operation on my ovary in the first tri and I had second tri bleeding when the placenta began to detach (it healed itself though). I am much more aware this time of the possibilities. All I can say is it does get better with time usually. I tell myself the same thing, I want to just enjoy being pregnant this last time!

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#16 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillitu View Post
i am joining your club, so you are def. not alone. i fear this too- as i am 39 and this baby is soooo wanted. so i am paranoid. every crampy symptom, every wetness in the panties sends me to the bathroom!
Oh, I hate feeling cramps! Even though they're not bad cramps at all and could just be my uterus stretching, etc., they make me paranoid.

I actually went to bed early last night because I was cramping a little and didn't want to think about it.

student momma to two great girls

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#17 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 11:05 AM
 
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Yeah, I'm paranoid and worried. Some days are worse than others. I look forward to the second trimester 'cause this early period makes everything intangible. Even though I feel pregnant most of the time and I know there's a baby in there, it doesn't feel real yet. I want to feel movement, that way it would give me some peace of mind.

I don't think I'll feel totally relieved until I'm holding my baby in my arms.

Aeona - married to super hot nerd Toby . . . mama to Grace (9) Evangeline (7) Duncan 11.14.08   and Henry (4) born at home. Expecting again early December!  

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#18 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 01:34 PM
 
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Add me to the list. I have my first appt. June 4th and I keep thinking "if the appt doesn't go well the whole month of June (which is super busy for us) is going to be so hard...."
Then I try and visualize myself pregnant in Dec. or holding a baby in January.
It's really hard. I've had two 1st tri. losses and felt pregnancy symptoms with both of them so it's hard for me to believe that the baby is ok. Then again, I've had 2 healthy babies too, but the fear is always there.

Tanya - Lucky wife to dh & Mommy to dd M (5/02) ds1 C (9/05) ds2 A (1/10) &
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#19 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 02:28 PM
 
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The hardest thing i have ever had to do was tell my 5 year old & 3 year old we wasn't having a baby after all. I had a MC @ 8 weeks in March. I just found I was Pregnant again yesterday. So I am sure it will be awhile before I don't feel paranoid & I can actually enjoy this pregnacy. I am not planning on telling the family for awhile either.

Christie SAHM to DD~10/03, DS~4/06, & ~3/09 &
Arrived 1-14-10
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#20 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 03:08 PM
 
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I have this fear. Even though I have seen a heartbeat, I still kinda worry about this. But then I try and remind myself that once I have seen a heart beat, I have only lost one, and his was genetic issues. So eight out of nine makes for "good odds" so I should not be worrying.

But, I wish it was that easy.

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they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#21 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 05:19 PM
 
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After my m/c in 2006, it is hard not to think that it may happen again. I just pray that if this baby is meant to be with us, everything will be okay.

I also pray that if the baby is meant to be m/c, that I do so early...I was in my second trimester last time. It was devastating.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#22 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 05:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djinneyah View Post
my first pg was a loss. every pg since has seen me paranoid until i hear the heartbeat. even after that, i'll still check the tissue when i wipe. it never. goes. away. i'm especially freaking out right now because i'm not having morning sickness. lots of other symptoms, but no throwing up. who knows, maybe i just won't get that sick this time. i still won't feel 100% until i hear that heartbeat or feel a flutter...

i'm just trucking along like this is a guarantee. i find staying positive helps.

On a side note, I haven't had morning sickness with my pregnancies...sometimes it is normal.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#23 of 26 Old 05-24-2009, 08:43 PM
 
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im terrified to so guess im in this club
i must check about 40 times a day
and because i have some cramping i am really paranoid
i don't think il feel better until iv heard the heart.

29/07/09...baby Samson, lost at 16 weeks.
with DH for 6 years, looking for lots of sticky baby dust for our baby.
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#24 of 26 Old 05-25-2009, 05:56 PM
 
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It helped me to read a thread I found by googling "early pregnancy no symptoms" -- it was basically a ton of women posting about how they had no symptoms and were still pregnant, and after about 50 of those it sunk in that the #1 sign of pregnancy is NO PERIOD, and I still haven't gotten my period, so just because I'm not sick (YET) doesn't mean I'm not pregnant! Women who are super sick have m/cs, and women who feel great have babies, and vice versa.

I'm feeling a lot better about this. I also got nice emails from my midwife and her apprentice reassuring me. And you guys!!!

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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#25 of 26 Old 05-25-2009, 07:29 PM
 
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I'm TOTALLY worried. A wreck, actually. Mostly because I miscarried last time and still had strong pg symptoms for weeks after the babies had died. I would have had no idea if I hadn't gone in for an early u/s (which I had never done before). I'm on progesterone and feel that that would "hold in" even an ended pregnancy. I can't imagine going through that again. So, I worry. I spotted last weekend, though nothing big, but bled yesterday and was FREAKED out. I have now seen the baby via u/s three times and three times he/she has had a very strong heartbeat (177/180) and is growing fine. Still, I worry. My dr. says I'll worry until I feel movement regularly. Another part of my worry is that I've always been deathly ill in the first trimester and beyond. Like in bed, can't function, the works. I'm not sick AT ALL this time. I had a few days of slight m/s a few weeks ago and now nothing. I do feel pregnant but more second trimester pregnant, if that makes sense. Anyway, I know I should just be grateful as I've lived through the horrible m/s 8 times and now I'm getting a huge break. But instead I worry, LOL. I knwo there's no point in the worry but I do it anyway. So, I'm a bad one to ask, LOL.

Hugs to all you wonderful mamas!!!

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#26 of 26 Old 05-25-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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Oh I can relate to this!! I have had 2 early miscarriages before i had DH, so I just cant get myself to be excited about being pregnant until I can hear the heartbeat on the doppler.

Faiza married and with , mama to DS (09.23.08) and with #2 (due in June 2010).
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