Can we have a venting thread about rude comments? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 85 Old 05-26-2009, 10:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I'll start....

So I was talking to MIL the other day about how I can't do as much gardening as I would like lately(our backyard is a huge overgrown mess)because of feeling sick and she says to me " Oh, you didn't see that one coming??ha ha "


:



Maybe it isn't much, but she pretty much acts unsympathetic/ignorant of what I am going through right now.

Due with number 5 in August. We do all that crunchy stuff.
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#2 of 85 Old 05-26-2009, 11:18 PM
 
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Well, this is our sixth baby, so I'm sure they're coming... So far, however, everyone seems really excited! I just know the "are you done NOW, etc" remarks are coming though...

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#3 of 85 Old 05-26-2009, 11:26 PM
 
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Now that we are preg with #3 we are getting "how many do want to have?!?!!!" Question in like isn't 3 going to be enough kinda thing. Also we have 2 boys and now we get gender questions which is REALLY annoying.

Angie wife to Joe and Mom to Lucas(10) and Alex (7), Elizabeth (4), Joey (2), and #5 due May 29
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#4 of 85 Old 05-26-2009, 11:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah... Well when I tell people there is a "oh congratulations!" but then it's like not really...yk? Theres this pause

Due with number 5 in August. We do all that crunchy stuff.
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#5 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 09:05 AM
 
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We are expecting baby #4 and we homeschool and homebirth. My husband's colleague asked "Are you the type that have a bunch of guns and think you are a sovereign nation?"

Amy

Wife to K since 6/95 Mommy to "The Fellas" ages 13, 10 and 8 and our rainbow girly 12/09.
Always remembering my babies who could not stay '08 '08 '09
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#6 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 09:16 AM
 
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Oh I could go on for days about this.

"Wow, can you really handle two babies at once?"

"You are never going to sleep again."

Said to my husband by our neighbor while I was standing right there "Wow, 2 babies huh? Looks like your life, as you know it, is over."

"Do you know how much two babies will cost you?! You are going to be broke."

And it goes on and on...

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
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#7 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 10:20 AM
 
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I was just thinking about this yesterday.

My SIL is 5 months pregnant, and let's just say she's had a very "symptomatic" pregnancy (read: she tells me about every little thing that's going on with her body in great detail).

Now that she knows I'm pregnant, every description of her bodily issues is followed with, "Oh, just you wait! It'll be your turn soon!"

Ok, yeah, because every pregnancy is exactly the same. Plus I guess I'm just not the type to complain a lot to other people about my body (that's what this board is for! )
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#8 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 10:23 AM
 
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Nobody knows we're (I'm pregnant) yet. So this comment was made "just because".

Saturday we went to visit MIL for her birthday and we had all been playing in the park, on the way home we let DS who's almost 1.5 years old. I made the statement that I've been working on going stroller free (I wore him until a couple months ago until he got too big almost 30lbs, I'm not a big fan of strollers) by summer. And she said "I guess that means you're not going to be using a stroller again or at least for a long time." I just said I don't really use one anyway.

The comment wouldn't have bothered me had MIL made it clear many times that she believes we shouldn't have more then 2 kids. She wanted 5 but due to curcumstances only had 2 kids (3 if you count the lo she gave up for adoption at 16).

Israel, mom to  DD, Ivy, 4-27-06 :and DS, Kai, 12-29-07 and DD, Lilith 2-1-10 and always remembering Alice fullterm stillborn 08/31/11 (unexplained placental abruption) 

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#9 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 10:33 AM
 
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when i told my boss he said in a suprised tone

and are you actually happy about this

ummm yes!! lol

29/07/09...baby Samson, lost at 16 weeks.
with DH for 6 years, looking for lots of sticky baby dust for our baby.
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#10 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 11:23 AM
 
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Nothing yet, thank goodness, because I've only told a couple friends of mine who I KNEW would be over the moon for us.

But I'm sure it'll come...

With DD it was "Are you planning on breastfeeding this one too? You know you probably won't have time with chasing James around."

This time it should be worse because DH is having a kidney transplant in late July so I'm sure we'll get TONS of comments about DH's health and $$$ and yadda yadda yadda.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#11 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 12:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wow

I cannot believe the comments people make. It's sort of like how one time I was walking by a bar going towards another store in the downtown and this old man hollers out "how the h$%ll do you keep track of em all??!!" And all my kids were well behaved, walking nicely and holding my hands... It's just amazing.

Due with number 5 in August. We do all that crunchy stuff.
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#12 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 01:04 PM
 
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I am due Jan 9th with #6 and my MIL didn't offer any congratulations at all, she just asked us "Where are you going to put this one?"

We have a large house with 3 bedrooms downstairs and an unfinished second story that we will have done before Jan. (hopefully).

It was a tad irritating.

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Mommy to DS13, DS12, DS7, DD5, DD3, and twin GIRLS : born at home in the water on 12/18/09
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#13 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 02:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtrt View Post
"Are you the type that have a bunch of guns and think you are a sovereign nation?"
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#14 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 03:19 PM
 
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i've had at least 2 friends who were insulted and said "why didn't you tell us you were trying?!?!" eeerrrrkkkk.

only other unpleasantness has been from FIL who wants to send out a mass email announcing the news. doesn't understand why we want to wait until 2nd trimester.

rainbow1284.gifbeth  stillheart.gifDW   blahblah.gif DD  Nov. 2009 and 1sttri.gif due Feb. 2013
 
 
 

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#15 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 08:01 PM
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I saw a doctor yesterday for something unrelated and she was going through all of my prescriptions to remove the ones out of the list that I'm not taking and we talked about be being pregnant and she asked if I planned it. It was a stupid comment 'cause we just finished talking about my fertility treatments!
Then to make me really upset Trixie tried to give the doctor her baby doll to hold, and the doctor refused citing germs. GRRR! My poor baby was spurned and confused why she was being shunned. If the doctor was concerned of germs from my baby, than A why is she a doctor and B you can always wash your hands!

okay this is more of a rant, but ya know.

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
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#16 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 08:35 PM
 
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WE haven't told enough people for me to get any comments yet, but I know they are coming. My in-laws give me humdingers that always make great stories later on. But in the meantime I'm enjoying the reads....:
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#17 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 08:43 PM
 
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dh told MIL...

dh: so, we're having another baby!
MIL: why?

nice....

successful #2 Jan. 25th - welcome Maisie Elise!
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#18 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 10:38 PM
 
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granted, this baby was ENTIRELY unplanned....but still, the comments I have gotten include:

"I know you don't want this one, right?"
"Do you need a ride to your appt when you get it taken care of?"
And my all time favorite...

"I thought they sterilzed welfare moms after the first one!"

BTW, up until January i worked full time. I guess because I'm young I must just be a perpetual welfare mom

Very blessed mama to one bouncin' boy bouncy.gif (12/07) one angel3.gif who didn't get to stay (6/09), one potty learning, mess making divaenergy.gif(4/10), and one cheerful milk monster. aabfwoman.gif (12/11) Happy partner to the love of my lifedp_malesling.GIF.  

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#19 of 85 Old 05-27-2009, 10:58 PM
 
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Oh, I've heard some major insults through the years, LOL.

"Are they all by the same father?"
"Are you even married?"
"You're not a machine, ya know."
"I feel sorry for your kids"
"Don't you know how to stop that?"
"Do you know about birth control?"


I could go ON and ON and ON. It's usually from complete strangers in the store or something when they say "is this your first?" and I say "no, it's my 6,th, 7th, 8th" whatever. I feel like saying "so, how's your sex life?" or "why do you only have two kids. Are you baron?" I mean, REALLY. It's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! So shut it!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#20 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 12:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post
granted, this baby was ENTIRELY unplanned....but still, the comments I have gotten include:

"I know you don't want this one, right?"
"Do you need a ride to your appt when you get it taken care of?"
And my all time favorite...

"I thought they sterilzed welfare moms after the first one!"

BTW, up until January i worked full time. I guess because I'm young I must just be a perpetual welfare mom
NooooooooooOOOOO! I would have slapped someone's head off with my non-violent slappy hands!

Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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#21 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 07:01 AM
 
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I am new to this, pregnant with out third, my baby just turned 9 months. I didn't understand that this was a normal thing out there-people looking down on having more than two kids?! I just FELT that I needed to be careful who I told this time, FEELING like people WERE going to be unhappy about it or look down on it. Isn't that funny?

Now that I read this, it makes me feel better and I will let comments roll of my back. I have to remember its not THEIR life, its mine.

When I told my sister, she said she was moving back to Utah. She just moved here one week ago.

Super mom to a 5 1/2 year old girl, almost 4 yr old girl, and 2 year old boy.

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#22 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 09:00 AM
 
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Yes, it is really weird, I know I am going to get comments about this being the third, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. It wasn't so long ago many people had four or five kids - I'm not sure how suddenly more than two has become weird.

 I like the mind to be a dustbin of scraps of brilliant fabric, odd gems, worthless but fascinating curiosities, tinsel, quaint bits of carving, and a reasonable amount of healthy dirt.
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#23 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 11:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Bluegoat View Post
Yes, it is really weird, I know I am going to get comments about this being the third, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. It wasn't so long ago many people had four or five kids - I'm not sure how suddenly more than two has become weird.
...because anything more than two means we have to get a mini-van!

charlene
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#24 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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...because anything more than two means we have to get a mini-van!

charlene
actually, I do just fine in my passat wagon, TYVM! But we will be getting a minivan this year or I will never leave the house,ha!

Due with number 5 in August. We do all that crunchy stuff.
.
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#25 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 12:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am new to this, pregnant with out third, my baby just turned 9 months. I didn't understand that this was a normal thing out there-people looking down on having more than two kids?! I just FELT that I needed to be careful who I told this time, FEELING like people WERE going to be unhappy about it or look down on it. Isn't that funny?

Now that I read this, it makes me feel better and I will let comments roll of my back. I have to remember its not THEIR life, its mine.

When I told my sister, she said she was moving back to Utah. She just moved here one week ago.

I found a general attitude like that in California. People seem more accepting of kids here in the Pacific northwest. Lots of families have more than 3 children and it is considered normal.

Due with number 5 in August. We do all that crunchy stuff.
.
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#26 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 08:16 PM
 
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The only rude comment went something like this...

*pervy old man who lives across the street from me yells at me while I'm walking home*

Pervy old man - Come have a beer with me (it was early in the day, too!)

Me - I can't, I'm pregnant. (I should've just said no! lol!)

Pervy old man - That's what you get for screwing around!

Me - *gives him the finger* F--k you!

Pervy old man - *laughs*


That's about it. Really.

Nursing bras should not double as birth control!
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#27 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 09:01 PM
 
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If you think having your third is bad try having your ninth, LOL. We were at IKEA the other day and I had the four little ones with me. This guy in line COULD NOT get over the fact that I had FOUR whole kids. He was going on and on about it so finally I said "I have four more at home and one on the way". OH MY! I thought I had killed the poor guy. He started shouting it across the store to his wife and to all the people in line in front of us. Hmm - maybe I should have my own TV show, LOL.

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#28 of 85 Old 05-28-2009, 09:04 PM
 
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If you think having your third is bad try having your ninth, LOL. We were at IKEA the other day and I had the four little ones with me. This guy in line COULD NOT get over the fact that I had FOUR whole kids. He was going on and on about it so finally I said "I have four more at home and one on the way". OH MY! I thought I had killed the poor guy. He started shouting it across the store to his wife and to all the people in line in front of us. Hmm - maybe I should have my own TV show, LOL.
We're expecting our 6th, can't wait for this to start!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#29 of 85 Old 05-29-2009, 01:47 AM
 
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...because anything more than two means we have to get a mini-van!

charlene
How do you get the pregnancy ticker at the bottom???

Super mom to a 5 1/2 year old girl, almost 4 yr old girl, and 2 year old boy.

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#30 of 85 Old 05-29-2009, 02:04 AM
 
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I have not had any comments yet, this pgcy, because I have not told anyone yet. But I am always getting rude comments, usually something regarding me not knowing where babies come from or don't I have enough already.

I actually don't think there is a "large family" comment that I have not gotten in the last few years.

I have just grown to expect it and ignore it.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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