how many children do u think u might like - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i know we have some mamma with big familys which i think is amazing because iv always wanted to have a big family myself

i think id like 4
but obviously have to think about money and fertility issues

so just cos im trying to distract myself id thought id ask everyone else?

Jools

29/07/09...baby Samson, lost at 16 weeks.
with DH for 6 years, looking for lots of sticky baby dust for our baby.
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#2 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 04:28 PM
 
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Well, we're on number 9 here. I thought I would have 6 so I have three bonus babies so far. I think I'd like at least one more after this baby but we'll see. I'm actually getting older now, LOL, so....but I bet I could have one or two more. I don't like having an odd number of children for some weird reason so I'll probably end up with 10 or 12, LOL.

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#3 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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I think I am at my carrying capacity now!!! I have ekblad beat by one

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#4 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 04:42 PM
 
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This is our last. I have PCOS so getting pg doesn't come easy to me, and I am 37 years old. Besides, I always wanted three kids so our family is perfect.

Mommy to: Belle: 01/27/2002, Maggie: 07/22/2008, Daniella, lost @ 9 wks on 06/04/2007, Baby Three Due 1/10/10
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#5 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 05:09 PM
 
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I am content with what I have, though I would totally welcome more. So, I can't really say, though I have always told everyone I would likely have a dozen.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#6 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 05:17 PM
 
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I am pregnant with #2. I'm young and am so blessed and thankful to be fertile, not to mention I just LOVE being pregnant, so I can definitely see us having a large family. DH wants 4, so that's what we'll have at the least.

brandi
Wife to Thomas (03/05) Mama to Tommy (04/06) & Emma (01/10)
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#7 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 05:34 PM
 
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We are expecting our last, number 6. Ideally I'd just take them as they come - but this isn't a perfect world and 6 cesarians is PLENTY!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#8 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 06:32 PM
 
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This is number nine for us and he/she will be it because my dh had a vasectomy just before we found out we were pregnant. We thought 8 was going to be it for us and then SURPRISE LOL
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#9 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 06:36 PM
 
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#10 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 06:53 PM
 
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This is it for us. We have one and we are adding two more in January. I will be done for sure. I want to be able to pay for college for my kids, take them on vacations and show them the world, and have enough individual time to devote to each child. I was one of 8 and it was hard to get alone time with my parents.

Disclaimer- The thoughts expressed in the above post are the opinion of the poster. They are derived from personal family experience and should not be applied to every family. The poster does understand that many families are capable of sending their large families to college and going on vacations, however, the poster does NOT have that much money.

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#11 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 06:57 PM
 
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I would LOVE to be the "Muslim version" of the Duggar family!! LOLL!!! God knows best

Faiza married and with , mama to DS (09.23.08) and with #2 (due in June 2010).
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#12 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 07:23 PM
 
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This is it for us. We have one and we are adding two more in January. I will be done for sure. I want to be able to pay for college for my kids, take them on vacations and show them the world, and have enough individual time to devote to each child. I was one of 8 and it was hard to get alone time with my parents.

I am very offended by this statement.

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#13 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 07:24 PM
 
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I would LOVE to be the "Muslim version" of the Duggar family!! LOLL!!! God knows best
Looks like you have a great start! Maybe we'll see you on TLC someday

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#14 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 07:31 PM
 
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Looks like you have a great start! Maybe we'll see you on TLC someday
THANKS hehe!!

Faiza married and with , mama to DS (09.23.08) and with #2 (due in June 2010).
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#15 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 07:46 PM
 
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I'll be having number 2. I've really wanted 4, but as horribly selfish as this sounds right now I don't think I can get through this "morning" sickness again.
I've been HG both times. I feel just pitiful right now
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#16 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 07:55 PM
 
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This is #2 for us. 3 will be the maximum, but we'll see how 2 goes first.

freethinking mom to DD 4/2006 and DS 1/2010
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#17 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 08:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nummies View Post
This is it for us. We have one and we are adding two more in January. I will be done for sure. I want to be able to pay for college for my kids, take them on vacations and show them the world, and have enough individual time to devote to each child. I was one of 8 and it was hard to get alone time with my parents.

I am not offended....I understand and I am sure every child feels there are too many siblings if there are more than one. I also think the child's perception is based on the mum.

I am so glad to see so many moms of many here It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to know Ia ma not the only one

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#18 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 08:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ekblad9 View Post
I am very offended by this statement.
I also saw the statement as offensive.

I do understand where the thoughts are coming from, but put the way they were worded infered that anyone that had more than two or three would never be able to pay for the children's college, go on vacations (which we do yearly BTW), see the world, or be able to spend time with each child.

This is an inaccurate and assumptive statement that is not very nice to be heard, especially when so many large families are in this DDC.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#19 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 08:19 PM
 
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I don't know how people know how many kids they want. This will be my second. Maybe I'll be done with two. Or maybe I'll have ten more. I just don't really know how having two will feel. Or three. Or eight. Ya know?
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#20 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 08:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
I also saw the statement as offensive.

I do understand where the thoughts are coming from, but put the way they were worded infered that anyone that had more than two or three would never be able to pay for the children's college, go on vacations (which we do yearly BTW), see the world, or be able to spend time with each child.

This is an inaccurate and assumptive statement that is not very nice to be heard, especially when so many large families are in this DDC.
we son't want to have to rething every thought. The poster obviously had her stance thought out and may have worded it offensively but that WAS HER EXPERIENCE. Sadly some kids in a large family feel that they are, indead not important enough or what ever. I am sure I could poll my chidlren on any given day and they would have a LIST of hurts against someone or another in the family. It is all in how you handle it. Time consuming, tiring, HELL YES!

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#21 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 08:41 PM
 
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I thought that our last baby would be our last, but surprise! We are stopping at 3 for sure--

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#22 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 09:37 PM
 
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Please be respectful of other families when you're posting. It's OK to share personal experiences, but please be mindful of not judging other's family size, whether that includes one or many children. Thank you for your understanding.

Being right is not always fair, but being fair is always right
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#23 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 09:43 PM
 
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I found that very offensive as well. I can provide ALL those things for my kids too. If you fell YOU can't, fine...but say that.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#24 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 09:50 PM
 
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Sorry to offend.

Just saying from my personal experience. We were very poor growing up. I am up to my eye balls in debt because of college expenses, so it is important to ME to pay for things like that. My parents divorced because of the money issues and they just had too much on their plates. I honestly felt lost in the shuffle a lot of times.

I just don't get how saying that my personal experience has affected me would be offensive. I appreciate large families and don't judge anyone who wants to have one. And honestly the families on MDC are probably a tad more attentive to their large families than my parents were. How can I not feel like that when my parents worked 3 jobs each just to put food on the table?

But if I offended I do apologize. I had no idea that saying how things were in MY family would affect people in that manner. I guess I will be more careful about when I talk about things that have happened in my life. In fact, I may just want to rethink posting about my family here at all.

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#25 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 10:11 PM
 
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Nummies,

Please don't feel that you have to be very careful about what you share so that you don't offend anyone. It was not your experience that came across as offensive but the way it was worded that indicated anyone having more than two or three children would mean their children would be giving up college, vacations, and time with parents.

I know everyone's experiences are different, and I know that not everyone wants or could handle as many children as others. That is fine. Your life experiences is what makes you who you are and what will cause you to make a unique contribution to this DDC as will everyone else's life experiences. So, please continue to post away.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#26 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 10:18 PM
 
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I used to emphatically say 2. Well, as soon as I had the second I realized there was no way I was done. Throw in a glorious religious conversion and a changed opinion on artificial birth control and 3 months into NFP a surprise BFP! So, we'll see. I think 4 sounds nice (and my husband thinks 4 sounds nuts - he didn't convert with me!)) but I know now that making any sort of definite statement about this for me is rather silly because I just really don't know. I would have to have a grave reason to avoid conception and I am only 30 so I have several fertile years left.

"Hey, I've got nothin' to do today but smile." - S & G
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#27 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 11:02 PM
 
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This is it for us. We have one and we are adding two more in January. I will be done for sure. I want to be able to pay for college for my kids, take them on vacations and show them the world, and have enough individual time to devote to each child. I was one of 8 and it was hard to get alone time with my parents.
Bolding mine... this is me. I'm not sure about family size yet. I always thought 3 was my personal max but now dh is sort of pushing to consider having a 4th. I am really not sure. Like you, I want to have enough individual time with each child... I don't know. I feel very mixed up about it right now.

I am also hoping to take the kids on vacations... but not really sure how much we would travel with 4+ kids.

For now I just told dh that we would not do anything permanent until we are on the same page and confident in our decision. I think that once I have been parenting three for awhile I will have an idea whether or not it's possible for me to have a 4th. Right now I feel like 4 is beyond my abilities as a parent. But I'm keeping an open mind, maybe having 3 will be such a breeze that I will find myself in a 2012 DDC!!

Dh is kind of hoping we are having twins this time so that we have #3 and #4 all at once. I'm not sure we are on the same page about that

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#28 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 11:18 PM
 
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this is our #3, our last. I am getting on a bit now and I find pregnancy very difficult. Once the baby is here though, I'm fine. I'm looking forward to having a wee babe again, it's been quite a while for me. I need to make the very most of everything.

Mama to 12, and 9 and 3. 
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#29 of 68 Old 05-31-2009, 11:58 PM
 
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I think that this, number 3, is it for us.

I'm getting older, and the prospect of 3 under 3.5 yrs is daunting. I don't have any family or close friends that I can *REALLY* count on nearby....and DH works long hours, and isn't always as helpful as he thinks he is

3 children is WAY above the norm for DH's side, and pretty average/below average for my side.

I will feel "complete" after this one, and am trying to consciously enjoy this last pregnancy.

enjoy!
charlene
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#30 of 68 Old 06-01-2009, 12:31 AM
 
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I feel pretty confident that this will be our last. I don't do pregnancy very well. And I also want to provide lots of opportunities for my children. I know there are so many things you can do for free or as a family, but I know we personally wouldn't be able to provide for music lessons, dance lessons, and sports for all of our children, if we don't stop at 4. And those things are so important to me. And really, beyond money and the fact that I don't do pregnancy very well, I think dh and I are just done and ready to begin moving out of the baby stage and onto the next stage (like going to an amusement park as a family and everyone being able to go on the roller coasters - still like 6+ years away, but someday...) Anyway, that's where we are.

Alisha, Army wife to Nathan , Homeschooling mama to Scheeli (May 2003) , Bronwynn (Nov. 2004) :, Piper (Nov. 2007) , and Wesley (January 2010)
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