Have to bring a meal for birth center staff... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had baby #1 in a birth center, which has since closed, so I found another birth center not too far away (there are two within driving distance, and I tried the other one first and it wasn't for me). All in all, I love the new place, and it's very highly regarded -- gets lots of kudos on MDC and all over the place. So this is trivial. But it's so bugging me. In my paperwork, I see that the birthing family is expected to bring a meal with them to the birth that will feed themselves, any guests of the family, AND the midwife and the midwife's assistant!

Last time I had to bring food for myself, basically, and that was fine -- I just brought some tupperwares of leftover pasta and some fruit and cheese and turkey and that was great. But it was NOT what I would feel ok serving to anybody else. I mean, it was all leftovers, basically. I am NOT a good or creative cook -- it's just not my thing. So I guess the solution is to just buy sandwiches or something... but I feel like this is the silliest thing to have to think about at the last minute when you're in labor. "Oh, honey, we need to swing by the restaurant for takeout on the way to the birth center so the midwife doesn't get hungry." Grrrrr. Or I guess I could make some kind of casserole or something in advance and freeze it? And cook it there?

I dunno. Having explored ALLLLLLLLL the other options in the area extensively, including homebirth, I really think this is the best/most feasible one on a number of levels, so I guess I need to get over it.

Anybody else have anything like this?

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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#2 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 05:16 PM
 
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That seems sort of weird to me. Have you asked any of the moms that raved about it here if they did that?

Last birth, we brought our own food for us and same thing this time...food for us.
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#3 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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I totally understand how you feel! And I think it stinks. My homebirth midwives also write on their birth supply list that we ought to have food for them (different midwives, different states) and quite honestly with my first birth it stressed me out SO MUCH. Turns out, I have quick labors and nobody ever needs even a snack or a drink!!!

I wish it were the other way around for you. I most often bring my own food wherever I go: as a doula, as a friend, as a mom.... I don't expect anyone to have to feed me or my kids unless it's a really good friend and I'm having a bad day and don't have it "together." What are you supposed to do, bring a frozen meal a month ahead of time? Because if you have a fast-ish labor, there is no way to be getting together a fresh meal to bring with you. If you have a long-ish labor, people can step out for 20 minutes, or an hour, or whatever!

I sort of see how a homebirth midwife might feel stranded with no food, but since this is THEIR place of business, they should be fully stocked with their own snacks, and should know where all the quick bites are in the greater neighborhood.

I don't know... I totally have food issues. Between so many people having food allergies and sensitivities, and so many other people being picky, and food being so expensive.... don't you have enough to worry about simply birthing your child, and worrying about the welfare of your older child???

I don't mean to knock a birth center. We certainly need more of them. Maybe there are reasons I don't understand. I just want to support you in your feelings of annoyance!!!

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married forever and homeschooling the kids: '96, '98, '05, and mystery person due 1/9/10
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#4 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 05:37 PM
 
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Yes, what Rita said. It all makes much more sense with a homebirth (although if I were a midwife, I'd rather ask for a little fridge space/permission to use equipment to heat my food) than at a birth center. You'd think they'd prefer to bring what they like to store at their work place...

Mostly it just seems odd. But freezing something ahead of time to bake later does sound like what I would do if I needed to bring food for the midwives.
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#5 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 05:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by b_light View Post
Yes, what Rita said. It all makes much more sense with a homebirth (although if I were a midwife, I'd rather ask for a little fridge space/permission to use equipment to heat my food) than at a birth center. You'd think they'd prefer to bring what they like to store at their work place...

Mostly it just seems odd. But freezing something ahead of time to bake later does sound like what I would do if I needed to bring food for the midwives.
Yep!

I think it's a bit silly, too, but I would probably freeze something ahead of time and bring it. I really don't think you should let this stress you out, though I understand why it would.
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#6 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 05:47 PM
 
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That seems really odd to me as well. I only have to bring food for us. They have a full kitchen that they keep stocked with things I can snack on as well if I want to. I've heard that a lot of families will bring in a meal for everyone involved for after the birth, but it's totally not "required." Personally, I'd ask them for some more specific details on what they expected me to bring.

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#7 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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If it were me, I'd have pizza delivered for everyone else, and bring my labor food for me.
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#8 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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I say bring for the staff whatever YOU would be eating in the same sized portions. You're having a baby, not a dinner party.

Personally, I would probably just get DH to order in delivery when *I* got hungry, and ask them to bring two extra plates to share with them.

I can see why they want you to bring food for those attending you, but they have ZERO right to be picky about what it is, or how much it is, and you have ZERO responsibility to impress them with your cooking skills or taste.

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#9 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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This is why there is such a HUGE frozen food section in the markets I would bring my own super yummy food for labor & a Stouffer's frozen lasagna for everyone else.
I bring my own food/drinks to births as a doula & photographer. I did have food available for the people at my 2nd birth, but it was leftovers & ordered out pizza. No way was I cooking during my labor.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#10 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 08:17 PM
 
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I'd probably just show up with a take out menu.

SAHM to DD (May/07) and DS (Jan/10)
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#11 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 09:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by defiant-one View Post
If it were me, I'd have pizza delivered for everyone else, and bring my labor food for me.
I love this. I love pizza. Not exactly the most crunchy food though, no? So I truly would have pizza delivered - they could even pick the toppings! And if that wasn't good enough, then pshah on them.

:yawning 33yo first-time solo mama to DD born 11/21/09
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#12 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 10:06 PM
 
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We had to provide food for our families/midwife/assistants/etc. during our two homebirths, though I don't think that the midwives/doulas ever ate any of it. So I wouldn't go through the trouble of making something too involved.

I know for my first birth my mom made and froze a bean soup she could just warm up in the microwave or toss in a crockpot when I went into labor. My second birth was really quick and we just ordered subs for lunch. We paid for my doula's, but my midwife had left so she did her own thing.

I totally get providing food for a homebirth. I mean, if I expect these people to be here in my house supporting me all day and possibly all night the least I can do is make sure there is enough food and water on hand to sustain them. And they weren't picky, they just said hey, bread, PB, cheese, crackers, eggs, etc. But a birth center... you are ALL packing up to drive there, having to pack up a meal while you are in labor seems like kind of a hassle. You think everyone could just pack their own sandwiches or something!!

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#13 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 10:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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HAH, I'm so glad you all are sympathetic. I thought I might get called a whiner -- or told to learn to cook, since everybody on here seems like such a cook-from-scratch earth mama (hint: NOT ME).

It occurred to me that one thing I CAN make well (and really like eating) is chili, and it freezes great. And how perfect for cold January -- yum. So I think I'll make a big batch of chili at 37 weeks and freeze it and bring that. I've heard one of the midwives is vegetarian (which my chili is not), but at that point I figure she can eat the crackers/cheese/fruit I will also be bringing. Plus there are a number of restaurants in walking distance, so takeout at the last minute is always an option -- like we can get to the birth center and play it by ear. OK, calming down now. I really want to stay POSITIVE about this place, and this was irking me, so it's good to just moooooove on. Thanks for validating me, though... nice to know it's not just me!

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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#14 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 10:38 PM
 
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I'm with everyone else.

Providing food for a homebirth midwife, reasonable.

But a birth center midwife? Expecting a laboring mother to bring food with her to their place of work? Totally nuts.

Mama to sweet, funny Eli 9/05 and snuggly Akash 12/09
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#15 of 22 Old 07-27-2009, 10:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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HEY, it just occurred to me, I could freeze leftovers from Thanksgiving (or Christmas... I'm feeling like baby will arrive before Christmas, but who knows) and bring those! Sweet -- I KNEW there was some hidden advantage to having a holiday baby (which I honestly am not that thrilled about otherwise, dates-wise).

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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#16 of 22 Old 07-28-2009, 12:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ~Christina~ View Post
That seems really odd to me as well. I only have to bring food for us. They have a full kitchen that they keep stocked with things I can snack on as well if I want to. I've heard that a lot of families will bring in a meal for everyone involved for after the birth, but it's totally not "required." Personally, I'd ask them for some more specific details on what they expected me to bring.
I would ask, too! You never know...they might give you an idea just in their response.

I, too, think that birth center midwives should have their own food, but whatever! See what exactly they mean & then tell all of us who are curious LOL!
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#17 of 22 Old 07-28-2009, 01:46 PM
 
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Personally I would bring whatever it is you want to eat (even if it is leftovers) and would just order pizza for everyone else and have it delivered. This way you don't have to worry about picking something up and can just go there and have it delivered.

Honestly I have never heard of that, but perhaps they had situations where everyone wasn't fed and got crabby or something. if you are concerned I would ask them about it.
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#18 of 22 Old 07-28-2009, 01:50 PM
 
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I feel really badly about not feeding my (homebirth) midwife in retrospect. Granted she was at our house from midnight til 7 am (not exactly meal times) but she came strait from one marathon birth and left for another immediately after. I wish I would have at least ordered a pizza. Yum! I love pizza.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#19 of 22 Old 07-28-2009, 08:37 PM
 
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seems weird at a birth center. i mean, you have enough to remember and fret about, but catering?

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#20 of 22 Old 07-29-2009, 05:50 AM
 
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I haven't ever heard of that, but it does make sense. If the MWs are there for a longer time than they expected, it would do you all good to make sure there's food to eat!

For our HB, we were asked to make sure there were snacks for the MWs, though they said that it didn't need to be anything more than packaged cookies and tea/coffee.

We ended up making a gigantic pot of chili the day before I went into labor, and, without my realizing it, the five other people in the house ate it all up by the time the baby was born. I was really annoyed to find there was none left!

I agree that it's a PITA to be asked to bring food when you've got more important things to do! But the easiest thing might be to make something ahead (chili and lasagna are easy to freeze). Maybe ask if you can keep it in their freezer as your EDD approaches? That way you won't have to worry about remembering to bring it with you on the day.

Also, ordering pizza is a great idea. That's what we did when there was no more chili!

Expat mama to my 7-year-old Halloween boy and my cheeky preschooler, who came before the midwife in January 2010... Gestating a new bean, debuting spring 2014!
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#21 of 22 Old 07-29-2009, 01:49 PM
 
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how odd is that. i can't imagine it to be honest. i can totally see if you are doing a home birth that you would want to have food and water easily available for those helping you, but at a birthing center? no way.

can you imagine a doctor at a traditional hosptial setting asking you what food you brought her to eat while they waited for you to give birth?

mom to Andrew   born Feb 6th, already a mom to child with fur; and still missing and still wondering about the lost possibilities Mar 17, 2009
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#22 of 22 Old 07-29-2009, 02:34 PM
 
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how odd is that. i can't imagine it to be honest. i can totally see if you are doing a home birth that you would want to have food and water easily available for those helping you, but at a birthing center? no way.

can you imagine a doctor at a traditional hosptial setting asking you what food you brought her to eat while they waited for you to give birth?
:

this made me laugh out loud! good comparison

I'd do something suuuuuuper easy. Like bring a loaf of bread, a jar of pb & j. Let them make up sandwiches. Ditto everyone else's comments, if it were homebirth yes you would want to share food with the midwives, but otherwise hello! they should have a fridge & freezer! It's like them asking you to bring a snack if you come at lunch time for a prenatal appt.! good luck with figuring it out!

'curly girl' regina married to my man since 7/99 , SAHM to my DS (2/06) (12/08) a new to love! (11/09)
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