How are you mentally preparing for birth? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 27 Old 09-29-2009, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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All of our babies have been natural, out-of-hospital births and I find labor and birth are 95% mental for me. We took Birthing From Within classes with our first and then got into the Spiritual Midwifery/Ecstatic Birth concepts with our last two. (Our last baby's birth was indeed painless!)

I read positive homebirth stories, watch homebirth movies and DVDs, read and re-read all of Ina May's books again and reflect on our past experiences to prepare. I have also listened to the Hypnobabies CD a few times and read the book but I'm not really feeling it.

What do you do to prepare for your baby's birth?

Amy

Wife to K since 6/95 Mommy to "The Fellas" ages 13, 10 and 8 and our rainbow girly 12/09.
Always remembering my babies who could not stay '08 '08 '09
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#2 of 27 Old 09-29-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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I'm mostly ignoring the evidence that I'm having a baby right now I'm busy!

I am listening to the hypnobirthing cd, but I keep falling asleep so I'm not sure it's doing anything.

I have a list of supplies to buy, should get around to that soon, so I can stop thinking about it.

R~mama to 3

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#3 of 27 Old 09-29-2009, 12:14 PM
 
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I am doing Hypnobabies. Lots of positive thinking and talking with the babies.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
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#4 of 27 Old 09-29-2009, 11:07 PM
 
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Someone gave me the hypnobabies CD's, but no workbook (it was destroyed in a housefire). So. I do what I can, but I'm so tired I fall asleep instantly- and I don't mean hypnotic amnesia, I mean waking up 2 hours later with no concept of where I am or what's going on, tangled in the headphone cord.

Other than that, I'm doing a lot of reading. On.... everything. Pregnancy/birth complications, blogs on birth, new studies, stats, research, etc etc etc. I read birth stories, watch birth videos, read inspiring stuff from homebirthing/UCing moms and so on.

I have a book list, but no $$ to buy them and we need to pay to use the library (well, I can use the one in town but it's AWFUL, but to go out of town I need to pay) so that's not happening.

But yeah. Reading lots! I also talk to my baby (telling him gently: you will not be breech, you will not be posterior, we'll have an easy painless and relatively short birth, etc), do visualization and meditation, positive self talk and pregnancy/birth affirmations.

Can you believe it's already almost OCTOBER?! Time is flying!

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#5 of 27 Old 09-29-2009, 11:22 PM
 
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HOnestly, the only things I have been doing are LOTS of prayer, reviewing my birth photographs from last time & remembering my birth stories.
Trying to only go with the positives at this point.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#6 of 27 Old 09-29-2009, 11:50 PM
 
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...by ignoring the innevitable.

I haven't really thought too much about the birth process so far.

...pregnancy takes care of itself, labour is (relatively) short to life afterwards wtih baby...

I'm more concerned about how we are going to deal with baby being here...specifically where (s)he is going to sleep, how I'm going to deal with 3 children under 3.5 years, nominal sleep, even less support from local ppl...

anyway, sorry for hijacking....I'm having a hard time trusting that this is all going to work out.

cheers,
charlene
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#7 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 12:35 AM
 
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I started out freaked out. Then I got to a place were I felt really prepared for birth. Now, I am a bit freaked out again. Though I have been feeling run down and I think that's part of it. I actually felt better today and was thinking about it and wasn't feeling scared. I do think I need to reread Ina May. I just haven't wanted to think about it for awhile. I am thinking about doing a hypnobabies class, but it's kind of expensive.

SAHM to DD (May/07) and DS (Jan/10)
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#8 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 08:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geo_girl View Post
...by ignoring the innevitable.

I haven't really thought too much about the birth process so far.

...pregnancy takes care of itself, labour is (relatively) short to life afterwards wtih baby...

I'm more concerned about how we are going to deal with baby being here...specifically where (s)he is going to sleep, how I'm going to deal with 3 children under 3.5 years, nominal sleep, even less support from local ppl...

anyway, sorry for hijacking....I'm having a hard time trusting that this is all going to work out.

cheers,
charlene
wait, you've gotten support from local people? You mean like... neighbours? I thought that kind of thing only existed in the movies- you know, small town America or whatever.

I'm freaked out by 2 kids under two, three under three sounds even scarier. I just keep telling myself, "newborns sleep a lot, it'll be fine- and once he starts moving around more, we'll be in a semi-routine" And then I just try REALLY hard not to think about that part any more.

(hard when everyone says, "oh, you like being busy!" of "you're getting rid of the dog, aren't you? No way can you handle two babies and a dog!" I wish they'd keep their mouths shut).

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#9 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 09:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Astraia View Post
Someone gave me the hypnobabies CD's, but no workbook (it was destroyed in a housefire). So. I do what I can, but I'm so tired I fall asleep instantly- and I don't mean hypnotic amnesia, I mean waking up 2 hours later with no concept of where I am or what's going on, tangled in the headphone cord.
You can call their company and get a workbook sent to you for $25. The workbook is actually pretty helpful.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
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#10 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 09:23 AM
 
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I had watched some videos and such, and thought about how I wanted birth to be for a long time (very natural, and wishing insurance covered home birth midwives), but now I'm very high risk and on modified bed rest, and I'll likely be going into the hospital by 32 weeks. As it is, I need to mentally prepare myself for the likelihood of having to have a c-section (right now, there's a fibroid sitting on top of the cervix, though it may be starting to move out of the way, and hopefully the baby can also position itself well--head is currently nestled in the corner of my pelvis, though I keep trying to tell him/her to move...). Plus, I also have had very low fluid for a while, so that might impact things, too... (The fluid is the reason I'm on bed rest, and I'm also taking my temperature twice a day to make sure I don't have any infections.)

I guess, basically, I have to occasionally let myself think about the worst case, just so I'm at least a bit mentally prepared (since it is more likely in my situation than normal) but really hoping things can go as well as they can... I'm not even thinking to January right now, though. If I make it to December, that'll be good.

Emily
Married 7/26/2008 -:- Remembering Joseph *10/9/2009* and two other losses since 9/08 -:- Expectingenergy.gif mid-September.

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#11 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 10:19 AM
 
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I haven't really done anything this time around. I had an awesome homebirth experience last time and I guess I'm just assuming the same will be the case this time around. However, last time I did do some things. I read tons of positive homebirth stories. I joined an expectant mommies group and a homebirth group in my city through meetup.com and I took an 8 week natural childbirthing class called 'intuitive birthing.' I know the group I took the intuitive birthing class from offers a shorter refresher course for those who've taken it during previous pregnancies. I might take that, but other than that I don't plan to do much else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by geo_girl View Post
I'm more concerned about how we are going to deal with baby being here...specifically where (s)he is going to sleep, how I'm going to deal with 3 children under 3.5 years, nominal sleep, even less support from local ppl...
And yes, this is more of a concern for me as well. I will have 2 under 2 and DD still cosleeps, wakes up multiple times during the night and is just the biggest ball of energy EVER! This is where my mental preperation is going. I'm really putting a lot of positive thought towards a laid back easy going baby. DD was a very difficult newborn/infant and I sometimes get borderline panic attacks thinking about having a similar babyn this time around combined with a super active high needs 18 month old.
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#12 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 10:27 AM
 
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Mostly, I visualize the birth and how it will go, thinking positively about the whole thing. Sometimes I read positive stories or watch videos on youtube, and I definitely avoid negative stuff as much as possible. At some point in the next month or so, I will probably review my birth plan from Robin's birth and think about how I want to handle things this time, but mostly it's just positive visualizing and expecting the best. Like other mothers have said, I'm thinking more about what will happen after the baby gets here!!

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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#13 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 10:41 AM
 
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I am not doing much besides read birth stories or watch some UC videos once in a while... When I get closer to birthing time I will read over a few affirmations to appease any fears or doubts that come to mind...

"Techniques" etc. don't work for me and never have... I already know how to breath... I do it everyday

In labour all I need is peace and quiet and to go into myself and for no one to touch, talk or be near me... I did a lot of reading last time planning my first UC and I might refresh a few points but really I don't feel the need to this time...

 
~paxye~
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
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#14 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 10:57 AM
 
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I am very fortunate in that I have TOTAL trust in my care-giver and husband. I'm not bothering with a written birth plan because my midwife just knows.

...and DH is SO supportive during labour...he is always present, and that is what I need.

for the pain, ehhh, well, I'm trying not to think about it in advance....

cheers,
charlene
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#15 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 11:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by nummies View Post
You can call their company and get a workbook sent to you for $25. The workbook is actually pretty helpful.

Oooh, really? Consider it done!

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#16 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 12:36 PM
 
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Nothing?

I have been thinking about it, but not enough to do something. I have no concept of birth pain and there is a large part of me that just assumes I'll be able to get through it without issue. I did start to worry the reality would be far worse than my imagination, but I won't know until it happens.

With that said, I am reading a bit, but no plans for Hypnobabies, birthing classes, etc. I do wish I could find a doula for reasonable, but I think my mom will be perfect!

Gah, reading that makes me feel like I'm setting myself up for failure.
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#17 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 12:52 PM
 
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Nothing?

I have been thinking about it, but not enough to do something. I have no concept of birth pain and there is a large part of me that just assumes I'll be able to get through it without issue. I did start to worry the reality would be far worse than my imagination, but I won't know until it happens.
This is your first? My daughter is my first and I went in knowing it's supposed to hurt, but without a concept of how much. And, really, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Although, that being said, my kid flew out on the fourth push...so the pain from the tear repair was the worst aspect of pain.

For me, it was about mindset...I went knowing there would be no drugs and pain. And I was right, on both accounts.

Angela
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#18 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 01:59 PM
 
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This is your first? My daughter is my first and I went in knowing it's supposed to hurt, but without a concept of how much. And, really, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Although, that being said, my kid flew out on the fourth push...so the pain from the tear repair was the worst aspect of pain.

For me, it was about mindset...I went knowing there would be no drugs and pain. And I was right, on both accounts.

Yes, first pregnancy.

I can't lie. There is a part of me that is looking forward to the birth, itself. I just hope I'm not under-prepared.

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#19 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 03:24 PM
 
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honestly? not a whole lot. i found i ended up having to do some soul searching on the water vs. land option, but beyond that, i think i did all my prepping at the beginning. read UC stories and articles and watched UC videos, wrote a list of supplies to be gathered in no particular rush, and got into the mindset of "birth is birth; it'll happen how it happens and all i can do is tag along for the ride and marvel at it".

i've spent far more time tuning in to baby, learning the baby's rhythms, and just trying to enjoy life as i know it before the hustle and bustle of the newborn days.

successful #2 Jan. 25th - welcome Maisie Elise!
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#20 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 03:48 PM
 
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I can't lie. There is a part of me that is looking forward to the birth, itself. I just hope I'm not under-prepared.
You *should* look forward to the birth. It's awesome!! The only thing I didn't anticipate was the "ring of fire"...which totally threw me for a loop.

You're going to rock it.

Angela
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#21 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 04:54 PM
 
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and got into the mindset of "birth is birth; it'll happen how it happens and all i can do is tag along for the ride and marvel at it".
EXACTLY how I feel. There really is no point in quantifying/thinking about pain. Yes, it is definitely part of the process, but you forget all about it once you have that messy little bundle on your chest....

*THAT* is what makes it worth while....
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#22 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 05:27 PM
 
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I just keep thinking- if I know enough, if I prepare enough (with hypnobabies, birth videos, whatever) I'll have a low-pain birth.

Low pain is good. I'm not scared of pain, really, but I'm worried about A. freaking my DH out B. waking up DD (I'd LOVE if she could sleep through the whole thing so we don't need to call someone to come and get her) C. annoying the neighbours (we live in a town house).

So really- I'm scared of making too much noise. If I need to make noise it'll happen regardless of how DH, neighbours, DD feel about it. Last time I had moaning/singing noises and that was fine but they definitely weren't quiet by any stretch of the imagination.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#23 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 06:21 PM
 
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I'm about to start my Hypnobabies home study course. Other than that, I have been thinking positive thoughts and getting excited about the experience. I'm reading a great book right now called "Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent. It has a lot of fantastic birth stories and really makes me look forward to my own.

(I should warn--if anyone chooses to pick it up, there are one or two sad stories in there as well. Just FYI.)
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#24 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 06:41 PM
 
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oh, speaking of birth story books....

this should be ready soon:

http://www.simplygivebirth.com/

successful #2 Jan. 25th - welcome Maisie Elise!
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#25 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 08:36 PM
 
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I haven't really done anything. I don't feel like there is much to do this time, we are not having a homebirth so there is a lot less preparation. I am wondering when I am going to actually pack up and leave for the hospital so that is on my mind a lot. Don't want to be there too early but don't want to give birth in the car either, kwim? Last time I had some pretty killer contractions all day, then they fizzled out. They picked back up at 3:30 pm and in 2 hours I went from 3 cm to baby born. So it is kind of hurting my brain trying to figure out how and when I will actually go to the hospital.

Third baby but I've never planned a hospital birth before so I feel kind of like a fish out of water.

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#26 of 27 Old 09-30-2009, 09:32 PM
 
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I haven't really done anything. I don't feel like there is much to do this time, we are not having a homebirth so there is a lot less preparation. I am wondering when I am going to actually pack up and leave for the hospital so that is on my mind a lot. Don't want to be there too early but don't want to give birth in the car either, kwim? Last time I had some pretty killer contractions all day, then they fizzled out. They picked back up at 3:30 pm and in 2 hours I went from 3 cm to baby born. So it is kind of hurting my brain trying to figure out how and when I will actually go to the hospital.

Third baby but I've never planned a hospital birth before so I feel kind of like a fish out of water.


why are you going hospital this time? If you don't mind my asking- you don' have o say!

my letter t is being finicky...

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#27 of 27 Old 10-01-2009, 02:32 PM
 
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I did want to add that I will be relying on my doula(s) to help me through the pain, like I did last time. I don't see a lot of point in *me* strategizing, when they're the ones who guided me so well last time. I'm hoping that since 2nd births are often shorter, it will be that much better .

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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