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#1 of 23 Old 01-07-2010, 11:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone thought about Facebook and how your friends will handle labor/birth news?

Dh were just talking about this today and actually I think we are going to adjust our preferences before we leave for the hospital so that people can't post to our Walls while we are gone. Additionally, he sent out a text to his siblings today asking them that when they hear that we have called MIL to come watch the kids, that they refrain from posting anything about the fact that I am in labor.

I'm not like a crazy private person and we aren't trying to HIDE anything, really. But we don't know whether we are having a boy or a girl, and we haven't shared our names with anyone yet. And so I'd really like people just to keep the news to themselves until WE can come on there and post pictures and announce that the baby was born. KWIM? Otherwise I know that once we start making phone calls people are going to be posting congratulations on our walls... which may or may not include stats, baby's name, sex, etc. I don't want my mom to find out from Facebook whether she has a new grandson or a granddaughter, you know?!

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#2 of 23 Old 01-07-2010, 11:50 PM
 
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Same thing going on here. We have a friend coming over to stay with the boys when I go into labour and we've "strictly" forbid her from posting anything on FB. Our families live far away and we really want them to find out from US that the baby is on it's way and depending on how things go we might not call before the baby gets here. My mom arrives on Saturday afternoon ( ) so she'll be here to help with the calls.

Mama to 2 little men (2004 & 2005) and a little lady who just arrived january 8th
Always remembering our little angels up above.
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#3 of 23 Old 01-07-2010, 11:55 PM
 
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DDC crashing to say that an aunt and a cousin posted congratulations on my cousin's wall when she was still in the hospital after her son's birth. I was already pregnant at the time and thought that was pretty rude--it is her news to share, after all. I'd be really irritated if they did that to me. Then again, I would probably post briefly myself just after we call both sets of grandparents, but I could see those two relatives in particular rushing in early if I didn't beat them to it.

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#4 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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Exactly what my worry was - good idea - I will change my settings!

Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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#5 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 01:45 AM
 
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[QUOTE=StrawberryFields;14899810]Anyone thought about Facebook and how your friends will handle labor/birth news?

Dh were just talking about this today and actually I think we are going to adjust our preferences before we leave for the hospital so that people can't post to our Walls while we are gone. Additionally, he sent out a text to his siblings today asking them that when they hear that we have called MIL to come watch the kids, that they refrain from posting anything about the fact that I am in labor.

How do you do this?

Mom to Amanda 19, Megan 7 and 1 in the oven due New Year's day
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#6 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 01:51 AM
 
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Crashing...

I know exactly what you mean, and it didn't occur to me to change the settings on my wall, but now I will. It always annoys me when I see other people announce things on someone's wall before the person gets to say anything. I've always found it to be incredibly rude.

jamie. crinkly (not quite crunchy) mama to 3 amazing little girls, an awesome little boy, and a baby girl making her debut at the end of this summer.

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#7 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 03:53 AM
 
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Can't you just not let anyone know you are in labor? Perhaps I am just nieve. But that is what we do.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#8 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 03:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
Can't you just not let anyone know you are in labor? Perhaps I am just nieve. But that is what we do.
this. except i know my kids will want to post it on their walls and we have a lot of the same friends. i guess i'll be threatening them.
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#9 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
Can't you just not let anyone know you are in labor? Perhaps I am just nieve. But that is what we do.
No... we are depending on our family (MIL, SILs, etc.) to watch our two little ones when I am in labor. So right away MIL/FIL will know, which will lead to SILs knowing right away too, and then if SILs are with cousins, etc. or if aunts/uncles are at MIL/FILs, they are going to know. And I babysit for the kids of SIL & friends so they are going to have to know right away which means they will be finding alternate care through other SILs, cousins and friends so THEY are all going to know right away too. Etc., etc. It's not really labor I'm worried about announcing too much though. Mostly once we start making phone calls that the baby is here. As the word spreads in the same manner people will be able to post on our walls before we can get through to everyone. I don't want to feel like in order to announce it myself I have to rush to the computer before the baby and I have even cleaned up, changed and had something to eat!

Ideally we would handle spreading the news by calling our parents right away when the baby is born. Then taking a break to clean up and get situated. Then, depending on the hour, either sleeping or finishing our calls. Then having something to eat, and THEN going out there to post pictures, etc.

With so many relatives and friends on our FB I know if I want to be first I don't have the luxury of waiting days and days to post. But a couple hours at least would be nice.

I feel like a jerk griping about it, I mean, people are just excited for us and they don't mean any harm. I just want to make sure that I get through to my mom, my closest friends, etc, before they find out from someone on FB... and that our relatives get the news before some random old contact from high school!!

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#10 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 10:32 AM
 
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I am going to want to update some people with facebook, but I don't want family to see... so I made a list with family and friends of family and they will have limited access for the time I am in labour... that way they won't see anything until I am ready for them to know after the baby is here... yet, I will still be able to update my friends and the great network of women in the birthing world that I have on my friends list...

 
~paxye~
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
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#11 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 10:36 AM
 
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This is exactly why we aren't telling anyone we are in labor. Although I will have to talk to my mom about this. Hmmm...

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
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#12 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 11:59 AM
 
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I'm not sure how we're handling this. We probably won't let people know we're in labor and when the birth calls are made, it will be strictly requested that no one tell anyone (as we want to be the first to spread the news). We want to call my 2 stepdaughters, both grandmothers, my 6 sisters and 1 of my friends before anything is posted on FaceBook. And then WE want to be the ones to post. I almost feel rude requesting that they not tell anyone, but once the news gets out I'm afraid it will just be CRAZY. During the week we can't call my stepdaughters until 7 PM, as that's what time they get home--and they absolutely have to hear the news from us first. We can change our settings so that no one can post on our walls, but that won't stop family members from posting on their own walls. Also, some nieces and nephews will know, as their mothers will be on the call list. And they have FaceBook accounts. So now I have to worry about children, too.

When we found out we were pregnant, we wanted to wait for the girls' summer visit to tell them in person. My MIL told her sister, whom the girls saw before hearing the news from us, and I was so terrified that it would somehow slip. Luckily, it didn't.

Does anyone know a tactful way to say don't tell anyone at all; leave that up to us and don't post anything about the birth, without offending the person? After we post on FaceBook, it's fair game for them to post whatever they want or share the news with whomever.
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#13 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 07:41 PM
 
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Definitely gives me something to think about. I would like people to know I am in labor & to pray for me, but I don't know if I want "everyone" to know I am in labor. We normally hold the phones & put a new message on it to say not to bother us

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#14 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 10:37 PM
 
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This is a really good idea! I didn't know you could do that.

My brother had his first baby this summer, and I was waiting to announce my pregnancy until after their baby was born. Well, it turned out I found out about my new nephew on FB... and didn't receive an email from them (no call ever) until THREE DAYS LATER, after many of their friends had been to visit, posted photos on FB, made all kinds of congratulatory comments on their walls.... Um, yeah, I was hurt.

Going to change my preferences right now! I'm due tomorrow!

Rita, 36
married forever and homeschooling the kids: '96, '98, '05, and mystery person due 1/9/10
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#15 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 10:38 PM
 
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hmmm, i'm not sure how i feel about this. as far as not telling anyone dp is in labour - well, i have to tell my manager and he'll tell the team because i won't be at work and am then taking 2 weeks off. we have to tell dp's sister and her co-worker because they are helping out with our son. only one guy on my team is on fb though...

my extended family all live in scotland...i will definitely call my immediate family and they are not really that into fb.

i will have my laptop at the hospital (it has wifi and i have a work laptop) so it's probable that i will be the first on fb once my immediate family knows about the birth.

g

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#16 of 23 Old 01-08-2010, 10:47 PM
 
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Wow. I hope my mom does not do that...she is the only one I could see doing that, (since she will be here), and I would HATE for my dad and step-mom to find out that way...and she would just LOOOOVE it if they found out like that (she does have a mean, petty streak sometimes). I think I will have to have a very frank discussion with her...but maybe changing my options is a good idea...I like it!

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#17 of 23 Old 01-09-2010, 04:12 AM
 
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But, would changing your options really do anything? It would seem to me that they would just post it on their walls and the news would be out just the same.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#18 of 23 Old 01-09-2010, 08:43 AM
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Presumably her mom and dad aren't friends so they couldn't see each other's status/wall postings. If they are both friends with her, though, that gives both of them access to her wall posts so they could see it if her mom posts on her wall.
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#19 of 23 Old 01-09-2010, 10:40 AM
 
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DDC

My wall was turned off the day I got a positive pregnancy test.
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#20 of 23 Old 01-09-2010, 10:50 AM
 
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Yeah, the friends that are on my list have nothing in common with my family, so they can do what they want with the info...

My family and people that are friends with family all on the list that will be blocked from both my wall and my status updates for the time I am in labour...

I use facebook to connect with a lot of like minded women in the birthing/natural parenting community so the amount of people that won't have access is actually quite small...

 
~paxye~
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
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#21 of 23 Old 01-09-2010, 10:53 AM
 
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Oh, and one of the biggest reasons for me is not about labour but when we find out if we are having a girl or boy...

There are a few people in my family that I don't want to tell until they come over... the more they ask while I am pregnant, the more I want them to wait...

 
~paxye~
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
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#22 of 23 Old 01-09-2010, 11:01 AM
 
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Thanks so much for this post! I work at the hospital I'll birth at and MANY of my co-workers are FB friends... I hope I remember to turn off my wall- I'd hate for my family to get uptight about how long it takes for me to call them... cause honestly that isn't really my first priority!

Jen, L&D RN, CBE, CLEC who loves to knit.gif! I adore my modifiedartist.gifDP, treehugger.gifDD 10/98, & sweet new babygirl.gif5/10!!!
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#23 of 23 Old 01-09-2010, 12:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lalaland42 View Post
Presumably her mom and dad aren't friends so they couldn't see each other's status/wall postings. If they are both friends with her, though, that gives both of them access to her wall posts so they could see it if her mom posts on her wall.
^^^^ Understatement of the year.

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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