I really can't do this much longer (a vent) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 11:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm exhausted. I'm so so tired. I'm even actually sleeping decently considering that I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I probably get at least 8 or 9 hours, if not more, of sleep a night. But I still feel like I can't function in the morning. I don't come out of my fog until late afternoon and then its just a few hours until bedtime.

I'm getting over emotional. I feel like crying every time I think about how tired I am and every time that DD asks me to do something that requires more than minimum of effort.

DH isn't much help and that's something that I really need to talk with him about but I'm really not feeling up to confrontation right now.

...but I'm really not ready to add a newborn to the mix either (not that it matters--baby's head is not engaged, in fact this morning, instead of being straight down, her head was pointing over towards the right side of my pelvic bone--if she flips breech, I'll be so pissed)

I feel like I never post anything positive on here, but I really just needed to vent to someone.

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#2 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 11:49 AM
 
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*hugs* I am right there with you. The days are going so slow now because I just am too tired to do anything and me and dh are getting cross with each other more often and I know it's just the hormons because that started when I started feeling emotional. I just keep telling myself this is a normal part of pregnancy at this stage and try to not let it get to me too much. I am trying to just relax and take it easy because I know things will get worse before they get better as far as fatigue and hormons!

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#3 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 12:14 PM
 
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I'm glad to know i'm not the only one. I'm 37weeks 3 days and I am so ready to have this baby. I feel like all I have been doing is complaining!! (lol). I feel like i'm going to be pregnant forever!! I just dont want to be pregnant anymore.... I mean, i'm not really sure if i'm ready, but Its kind of like pulling off a band aid. You know you have to do it...so just do it now and pray that its quick and painless!!

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#4 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 12:25 PM
 
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I am likewise completely exhausted. DD is still up constantly at night, and I'm about ready to gouge my eyes out come morning, they're so grainy and sore. I'm drinking a lot of coffee in the AM, it's the only thing that keeps me from destroying things in a fit of exhausted temper.

DH is also not very helpful these days. I made him a to-do list broken down by days of the week so hopefully that helps him. (Although he is SUCH A WHINER. We took down the tree yesterday and he whined every step of the way - UGH, I have to get boxes. These decorations are annoying. The tree keeps poking me. I can't get it in the box. UGH, now i have to bring the boxes downstairs. I'm so sleepy (yeah, he who doesn't get up even ONCE with our daughter is TIRED?!?!? I wanted to gouge HIS eyes out with that one)).

And if it makes you feel any better, baby turned from head-in-pelvis to head-in-left-hip, which makes him- you guessed it! ROP

I am also not ready to add a newborn to the mix, but I agree with purplemama- like a bandaid. Better to just DO IT already so at the very least I can stop stressing about the inevitable.

I feel like I've been pregnant forever... but I was also only un-pregnant for 5 months between these babies, so really... I have been!

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#5 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 01:10 PM
 
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hugs to everyone! i'm not the pg one this time but i do remember this point - i had our son in august so it was just terrible being so big and uncomfortable in 100 degree heat.

by some minor miracle, dp is still feeling ok. part of it may be her attitude, part of it her weekly massage and bi-weekly acupuncture and chiro (and yes i know how lucky we are to be able to swing those luxuries) and part of it is that she is so much taller than me and babe has more room. she is not complaining much at all which is keeping me calm and able to deal with our crazy 2yo.

we are ready for him to come whenever he is ready. 39 weeks today!

g

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#6 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 01:11 PM
 
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I'm exhausted. I'm so so tired. I'm even actually sleeping decently considering that I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I probably get at least 8 or 9 hours, if not more, of sleep a night. But I still feel like I can't function in the morning. I don't come out of my fog until late afternoon and then its just a few hours until bedtime.

I'm getting over emotional. I feel like crying every time I think about how tired I am and every time that DD asks me to do something that requires more than minimum of effort.

DH isn't much help and that's something that I really need to talk with him about but I'm really not feeling up to confrontation right now.

...but I'm really not ready to add a newborn to the mix either (not that it matters--baby's head is not engaged, in fact this morning, instead of being straight down, her head was pointing over towards the right side of my pelvic bone--if she flips breech, I'll be so pissed)

I feel like I never post anything positive on here, but I really just needed to vent to someone.
You are not alone. Yesterday was one of my worst days emotionally probably since the beginning of the pg. I just couldn't console myself. Husband was gone all day and I was alone with the kids-which is usual but for some reason I couldn't handle it. I had lots of plans of cleaning the entire house and that did NOT get done. I know that pisses me off more than anything.

I also am SO tired and I dont get out of my fog until after nap time-usually 5pm if you can believe that! I wake up, feel ok, but then after the am breakfast, dressing, cleaning up breakfast mess, hair, and teeth brushing, I've had it, ready for a nap.

Last night I was so upset i was on the floor in the cat pose just sobbing. I thought my baby turned back around breech again and i thought it was all my fault for letting myself get SO stressed yesterday and being on my feet for a long time last night in the kitchen cooking a lasagna. My uterus was really high. I could feel how tight i was getting. The baby felt all up in my ribs and I could feel nothing down in the pubic area. I really dont know what I'm feeling for but just guessing. This am, stomach seems back to normal, lower, but who knows.

I, too, couldn't even talk to husband about it. He wouldn't understand and he thinks I'm full or sht anyway-worry too much. He doesn't worry AT ALL ABOUT ANYTHING. Which really bugs me.

Super mom to a 5 1/2 year old girl, almost 4 yr old girl, and 2 year old boy.

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#7 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 01:14 PM
 
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I mean, i'm not really sure if i'm ready, but Its kind of like pulling off a band aid. You know you have to do it...so just do it now and pray that its quick and painless!!
Yeah, I'm going to remember that one. The band aid- lets just get it over with. Thats how I feel.

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#8 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 01:14 PM
 
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[QUOTE=Astraia;14910880]

DH is also not very helpful these days. I made him a to-do list broken down by days of the week so hopefully that helps him. (Although he is SUCH A WHINER. We took down the tree yesterday and he whined every step of the way - UGH, I have to get boxes. These decorations are annoying. The tree keeps poking me. I can't get it in the box. UGH, now i have to bring the boxes downstairs. I'm so sleepy (yeah, he who doesn't get up even ONCE with our daughter is TIRED?!?!? I wanted to gouge HIS eyes out with that one)).

[QUOTE]

LOL Is he 5 years old or what? I would have at least tried to attack something. I have taken to given my DH warnings (just like I do my 3 and 2 yo) of imminent hurt coming his way. When I tell him to leave me alone and he persists, I feel like the only thing I want to do is hit something. I have no control when it comes to DH, he should know better.

I am beyond irritated with him most of the time. I really hope it is pregnancy hormones but I think I am just plain PO'd yk? As if I need an excuse to be mad that I am the one scrubbing the tub and mopping the floors - which I think he has attempted to do twice in almost 7 years.

OKay my vent is over. I am tired but I don't think adding a newborn will make me sleep any better.
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#9 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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LOL Is he 5 years old or what? I would have at least tried to attack something. I have taken to given my DH warnings (just like I do my 3 and 2 yo) of imminent hurt coming his way. When I tell him to leave me alone and he persists, I feel like the only thing I want to do is hit something. I have no control when it comes to DH, he should know better.

I am beyond irritated with him most of the time. I really hope it is pregnancy hormones but I think I am just plain PO'd yk? As if I need an excuse to be mad that I am the one scrubbing the tub and mopping the floors - which I think he has attempted to do twice in almost 7 years.

OKay my vent is over. I am tired but I don't think adding a newborn will make me sleep any better.
My dh was late from work last week and I said out loud, "He is getting on my last nerve." My 19yodd said, "Why, what's he done now?" I said, "Nothing, he should just be home by now." Her fiance was just looking at me like I'm nuts. At least he'll have a realistic idea about pregnancy insanity because of me.

I mean really, why should dh being ten minutes late piss me off?
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#10 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 02:45 PM
 
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I think I've already cried 4 times today. Can barely type with these fat, swollen fingers lol. Just wanted to commiserate... you are not alone!

Placenta eating EC mom to my sweet DS Skyy 08/24/08 and Lotus Birth HBAC DD Aspen 01/13/2010 Healed by her birth
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#11 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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s
I could have written your post word to word, except that I'm not even 38 weeks yet and have been feeling this way for two weeks now.
Its 10am right now, I've been up since 7:30 and I'm ready for a nap. To make matters worse I haven't even done anything today, just spent all morning sitting on the sofa and eating breakfast.
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#12 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 02:50 PM
 
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s
Its 10am right now, I've been up since 7:30 and I'm ready for a nap. To make matters worse I haven't even done anything today, just spent all morning sitting on the sofa and eating breakfast.
Me too. And I have no patience for DS, thankfully DH is being a sweetheart. I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't.

to everyone.

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#13 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 03:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Also, he said something the other day that's bothering me. It was something to the effect of "I'm glad you're staying home this semester because that makes me not feel as bad" (about needing down time or something?, I can't remember exactly what).

But seriously? I'm still taking 4 online classes, one of which is writing intensive. My classes start 5 days before my EDD. I still have to have DD1 at daycare 3days/week. There will be no "sleeping when the baby sleeps" I will have two kids under 2, a house that will never stop getting dirty because I'm home all the time, and school to deal with PLUS because I'm home, I won't have much of a social outlet or any time to myself. Seriously? You won't feel as bad? Because, as bad as it sounds, I'll be counting down the days until fall semester when I'm back in on campus classes, with other adults, on a daily basis.

Guys are idiots.

ETA: if I wasn't nursing and if it wouldn't be traumatic to my kids (specifically DD), I'd make him take his vacation time when the baby is about a month old and I would go do his job for a week while he stayed home with them.

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#14 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 03:54 PM
 
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Oh, thank GOD! I thought I was the only bitchy one to my partner. I swear to all things holy I was so ready to knee him in the nutsack today.

Angela
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#15 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 05:03 PM
 
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I am getting very irritated at the smallest things...I feel horrible after the fact, buy--ugh!! why can't he use his brain!! He is so intelligent, but doesn't think like I do & does stuff slower than I. Frustrating.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#16 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 05:16 PM
 
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hugs to everyone! i'm not the pg one this time but i do remember this point - i had our son in august so it was just terrible being so big and uncomfortable in 100 degree heat.

by some minor miracle, dp is still feeling ok. part of it may be her attitude, part of it her weekly massage and bi-weekly acupuncture and chiro (and yes i know how lucky we are to be able to swing those luxuries) and part of it is that she is so much taller than me and babe has more room. she is not complaining much at all which is keeping me calm and able to deal with our crazy 2yo.

we are ready for him to come whenever he is ready. 39 weeks today!

g
It would make an amazing difference to have a partner who had actually BTDT.

Samantha, Student, wife to my best friend (1.30.09) Mama to three beautiful daughters and and a handsome little son
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#17 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 05:28 PM
 
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Oh, thank GOD! I thought I was the only bitchy one to my partner. I swear to all things holy I was so ready to knee him in the nutsack today.
LMAO!
I so needed to hear that!
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#18 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 07:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It would make an amazing difference to have a partner who had actually BTDT.

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#19 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 07:38 PM
 
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Astraia, your posts about your DH crack me up. I don't know whether to laugh or cry with you but you sound like one STRONG mama! Five months off? Ergh. I really wish men could have an inkling of what it's like to be pregnant (and/or breastfeeding, for that matter!)

DH has been great this weekend but I was so depressed when I woke up this morning I didn't even want to get out of bed. I really thought she'd feel my vibe and arrive last night. I wanted her to come on a weekend so DH is here. He's working 3+ hours away so now I'm staring down another scary week thinking I might go into labor with him unable to get here in time. That and taking care of DD (lifting her up for diaper changes) is so difficult and now it looks like another endless stretch of trying to keep the house manageable between entertaining DD.

PLEASE let her come out tonight! I'm done! I love the band-aid analogy too. Every time I start getting a strong run of contractions I start to think..."Eh, maybe I *don't* want to do *this* tonight!" but in reality I know there is no escaping the inevitable so let's get this done. I waddled around the park today in vain hope that it might get the ball rolling. At least it was fun watching DH sprinting after DD at the playground and near the duck pond. Haha...I think he burns more energy than DD during these park excursions between running around slides and beating her to the ducks.
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#20 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 07:42 PM
 
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My dh was late from work last week and I said out loud, "He is getting on my last nerve." My 19yodd said, "Why, what's he done now?" I said, "Nothing, he should just be home by now." Her fiance was just looking at me like I'm nuts. At least he'll have a realistic idea about pregnancy insanity because of me.

I mean really, why should dh being ten minutes late piss me off?
Better they see it now than be completely blindsided later!

MrsFrenchy, I hear you about the online classes. I'm taking four too, including another horrific version of algebra, starting in mid-Feb. Right now I'm in total, complete denial about it. I feel your pain.
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#21 of 31 Old 01-10-2010, 09:40 PM
 
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LOL Is he 5 years old or what? I would have at least tried to attack something. I have taken to given my DH warnings (just like I do my 3 and 2 yo) of imminent hurt coming his way. When I tell him to leave me alone and he persists, I feel like the only thing I want to do is hit something.

I am beyond irritated with him most of the time. I really hope it is pregnancy hormones but I think I am just plain PO'd yk? As if I need an excuse to be mad that I am the one scrubbing the tub and mopping the floors - which I think he has attempted to do twice in almost 7 years.

OKay my vent is over. I am tired but I don't think adding a newborn will make me sleep any better.
I like the idea of warnings! Glares and pushing him away is definitely not working. And yes, i want to hit things too. Sometimes I throw stuff. Not so good.

And I am also scrubbing the tub and mopping floors. DH hasn't mopped a floor or scrubbed a tub... um.... ever, I don't think. Not in the whole 2 years we've been married, at least. I think I do pretty much everything unless I ask VERY SPECIFICALLY (with full directions) for him to do something, and even then it's pretty hit and miss.

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It would make an amazing difference to have a partner who had actually BTDT.
Absolutely

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Astraia, your posts about your DH crack me up. I don't know whether to laugh or cry with you but you sound like one STRONG mama!
Thank you! I'm either strong or masochistic, haven't figured it out yet!


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He's working 3+ hours away so now I'm staring down another scary week thinking I might go into labor with him unable to get here in time. That and taking care of DD (lifting her up for diaper changes) is so difficult and now it looks like another endless stretch of trying to keep the house manageable between entertaining DD.
That's so hard. At least my DH can come home at the end of the day and entertain DD (or try to) while I cook dinner or read a book for 20 minutes or something.

Lifting baby is getting harder and harder. I'm glad she's as young as she is right now because she's lighter then she would be other wise!

She's also virtually impossible to entertain. Her books are boring, toys are boring, I'm boring... I've taken to letting her make horrible messes of things because she's at least happy for 10 minutes. You know- splashing in the dog water bowl, dumping uncooked rice all over the floor, etc. I have to clean it up, of course, but those ten minutes where she isn't whining and clinging to my leg are sometimes the best ten minutes of my day.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#22 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 02:19 AM
 
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I can't believe y'all are even entertaining the idea of taking classes! My brains must have oozed out my ears because there is no way I could think hard enough to pass a class over the next few months!
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#23 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 11:36 AM
 
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I hear ya! 37w2d here. Last night DH was kind of afraid to talk to me too much as I was getting pretty snappy at him and the kids. When your pelvis and round ligaments hurt from standing up, I want to see how patient YOU get, dorky husband (I think that is what DH stands for, right? )? I am just tired of being TIRED all the time, getting in and out of the car is a PITA, it would be nice if I could get my kids to pick up toys in the living room without having to police their every move and whine about it. However, since I still have more than 2 weeks till the due date, I want my baby to stay in till she is ready to come out too. I think getting up at night to pee and change diapers and nurse will probably be a bit easier when not pg than it is to get up with an extremely full bladder and trying to avoid peeing on my bed now!

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#24 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 11:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't believe y'all are even entertaining the idea of taking classes! My brains must have oozed out my ears because there is no way I could think hard enough to pass a class over the next few months!
I had to stay full-time if I wanted to keep my financial aid. Plus, staying a student keeps me eligible for on-campus daycare, so I'll have DD there 3 days a week which will hopefully keep me semi-sane and give me time alone with the new baby (and to clean and sleep and study).

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#25 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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I had to stay full-time if I wanted to keep my financial aid. Plus, staying a student keeps me eligible for on-campus daycare, so I'll have DD there 3 days a week which will hopefully keep me semi-sane and give me time alone with the new baby (and to clean and sleep and study).
Ugh. Still. The thought of exercising my brain is too much for me. I understand about not wanting to jump through all the hoops again in three months, not to mention being put on a waiting list for daycare, though!
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#26 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 06:28 PM
 
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Oh, thank GOD! I thought I was the only bitchy one to my partner. I swear to all things holy I was so ready to knee him in the nutsack today.
Ahahahaha, oh man this had me laughing out loud. I'm talking a big belly laugh. Which seemed to trigger a contraction. But it was worth the pain.

EDIT: Whoops! forgot to quote the post! duh

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#27 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 06:37 PM
 
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MrsFrenchy, I hear you about the online classes. I'm taking four too, including another horrific version of algebra, starting in mid-Feb. Right now I'm in total, complete denial about it. I feel your pain.
It's nice to see there are other student mamas in the group. I'm not studying right now, but I just applied for a Masters in Education program (crossing my fingers that I get in!) and if all goes well I'll be doing the new mommy thing while studying and probably working too. But that won't start for another 8 months.

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I like the idea of warnings! Glares and pushing him away is definitely not working. And yes, i want to hit things too. Sometimes I throw stuff. Not so good.
DH hasn't really been getting on my nerves much lately, but a few weeks ago it was pretty constant. I took to lobbing stuffed animals at his head. They're soft, so I don't feel too badly when my aim is dead on.

Married 12/08 to Chilean DH and mama to DD 2/2/10. We're a bilingual home and we familybed1.gif and toddler.gif

 

Expecting #2 in late June!

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#28 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 07:20 PM
 
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I had my first day of school today, one of my classes are entirely online, the other three are on campus. I would rather go to school than go to work and we needed money some way.

I think my DH is being so nice because he has 37 days before he ships out and won't have to clean house for another ten months. He also knows how miserable I am and feels pretty sorry for me. Of course, this empathy just recently kicked in - it wasn't there a month ago.

Novel writing student Mama to ds (8y) and new DD 1-13-10.

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#29 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 07:32 PM
 
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Oh so sorry! I know how you feel. Haven't had a good night sleep in over three weeks. I'll be tired, but then RLS or heartburn or Braxton Hicks hit right as I'm just going to drift off or they wake me up an hour or two after I have managed to drift off. And I'm way overdue so I'm starting to get really nervous about where I'm going to have to wind up having this little guy.
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#30 of 31 Old 01-11-2010, 10:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by remijo View Post
I had my first day of school today, one of my classes are entirely online, the other three are on campus. I would rather go to school than go to work and we needed money some way.

I think my DH is being so nice because he has 37 days before he ships out and won't have to clean house for another ten months. He also knows how miserable I am and feels pretty sorry for me. Of course, this empathy just recently kicked in - it wasn't there a month ago.
How are you planning on handling on-campus classes with the new LO? What are you doing about childcare (or establishing BFing)? And absences around the time that you give birth?
I'm actually really bummed that all my classes are online (though I generally find online classes ridiculously easy-and i've taken quite a few since DD was born) because I really enjoy the in-class interaction and (in most classes anyway) actually being taught instead of having to read the textbook. But because of the above concerns about childcare, I just couldn't see doing online classes this semester.

student momma to two great girls

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