My OB called me irresponsible - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-13-2010, 05:46 PM - Thread Starter
Dea
 
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Grrr!
I'm planning an HBAC and I let my OB know today (I do shadow care for my husband's peace of mind and because there is that less than 1% chance)
Anyhow she told me I was irresponsible. Then invoked my daughter and how I'll be a parent of 2. So I invoked my daughter back, I don't want to leave her for a couple of days, it would be hard on her. Plus Trixie caught a horrible infection when she was born in a hospital and it was one of the reasons she was in the NICU.
Grr. I"m just so mad. So so mad.

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:02 PM
 
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I'll Grrrr right along with you! Invoking your daughter- as if you hadn't considered her....
Sounds like you are acting in your family's best interest and that includes you and the new babe! Also sounds like you may get the care you want at home moreso than the hospital...
Good job advocating for your family Mama!
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:52 PM
 
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Stick to your guns! You know what is best for YOU.

DD#1 arrived 2/7/10!
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Old 01-13-2010, 07:11 PM
 
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I don't think you even HAD to tell the OB...but that was nice of you to do so! And of course, I don't think you are irresponsible...you are covering all bases in case of needing a hospital transfer. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and your choices!

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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Old 01-13-2010, 07:38 PM
 
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Whoa... whoa. That is bold. Sounds like something that would happen here (in St Louis, the world's most conservative birth community).

Due January 23rd with my
Missing Asa James, born into this world 11-17-08 and into the next 12-25-08
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Old 01-13-2010, 07:41 PM
 
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I am not surprised. Sorry you had to go through it, though.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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Old 01-13-2010, 08:36 PM
 
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Mine did too yesterday! I wonder if ACOG just sent out some rallying thing to all the OBs or something. Seriously, it was like somebody completely flipped a switch in this guy. He went from totally being cool and laid back to saying that I'm too much of a risk, homebirths are dangerous, there's no way he's going to be my backup afterall and that his malpractice insurance would skyrocket.
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Old 01-13-2010, 10:28 PM
 
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what an a$$. I'm sorry



otoh, I now have Michael Bubble singing "call me irresponsible" in my head, which is nice

My babies were born at home! 09/07, 01/10, and 09/12 joy.gif

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Old 01-13-2010, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
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how can his malpractice insurance go up? If he documents that he's counseled you otherwise he's covered his ass. Which also upsets me. When I had the great pitocin debate with my OB her reason for giving it in stalled labour rather than waiting it out or using something more natural was liability.
Anyhow I dare my doctors to tell me that they can't take me now. I will put up the biggest fuss. I don't think they can. They've made their position clear, I'm not asking a doctor to be there, I'm just letting them know out of curtosy.
Oh and this was all after I demanded an ultrasound to check this baby's fluid levels. With Trixie there was none and I don't want a surprise on that again.
Anyhow thanks for the support, I appreciate it. I've been in such a funk since my appointment today. grrrr.

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dea View Post
how can his malpractice insurance go up? If he documents that he's counseled you otherwise he's covered his ass. Which also upsets me. When I had the great pitocin debate with my OB her reason for giving it in stalled labour rather than waiting it out or using something more natural was liability.
Anyhow I dare my doctors to tell me that they can't take me now. I will put up the biggest fuss. I don't think they can. They've made their position clear, I'm not asking a doctor to be there, I'm just letting them know out of curtosy.
Oh and this was all after I demanded an ultrasound to check this baby's fluid levels. With Trixie there was none and I don't want a surprise on that again.
Anyhow thanks for the support, I appreciate it. I've been in such a funk since my appointment today. grrrr.
Yeah they can't 'fire' you as a patient at this point in your pregnancy. I forget the technical term, but they have to give you so much time (30 days, maybe) to find a new provider (and by 'provider,' i mean OB/someone not doing homebirths). Since you're so close to your EDD now, they can't kick you out of the practice.

That stinks that she was such a jerk about it (though, yeah, i'm really not surprised), but now you just have to let it go. You're going to have a wonderful HBAC! You don't want to go into it feeling mad.

student momma to two great girls

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Old 01-13-2010, 11:59 PM
 
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it makes me so mad to hear nonsense like this, because it's like they're saying the safest place to birth is at the hospital... not true if you have a normal birth! And like nothing ever goes wrong at hospitals. Anyways, phooey on her!

'curly girl' regina married to my man since 7/99 , SAHM to my DS (2/06) (12/08) a new to love! (11/09)
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:32 AM
 
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I will say this, my OB when hearing I was going to HBAC told me "I think you should birth where you feel you would have the most success." I was WAY surprised. I'm not going to hospital through her, as I'd have to pay more, deal with more crap from nurses, and waterbirths are not allowed at all, not even if you bring your own tub. So I'll be birthing at home. It's so much nicer too, less yucky, and bright, and smelly, and loud, ok I'll stop now.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:44 AM
 
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Wow. I can see the OB giving their opinion on homebirths. That's fine, imo because that's what they're taught and that's their experience (I don't agree with it but everyoen's entitled to an opinion) but to bring your dd into it is just unprofessional and bullying.

When I made the switch from my dr (who delivered ds) to a midwife at about 12 weeks I let my dr. know and said it was because I wanted a homebirth and he couldn't understand why I'd want to and went into a big speech about how in South Africa (where he recently moved from) NO ONE but the very poor do homebirths because they can't afford the hospital and how our birthing floor is brand new and just like a hotel and don't I want soemthing nice. Umm.. thanks for the open minded opinion there buddy and thanks for saying my house is a dump!

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Old 01-14-2010, 02:17 AM
 
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So sorry you have to deal with someone who doesn't understand, that you are making a decision based on what's best for you. I'm doing a as well, and it's also my 2nd and am also doing shadow care but I'm lucky enough to see a group of nurse midwives instead of OB's. If I met with someone I thought was going to fight with me, I just didn't offer any extra information. It's not their life or their baby. Who gives a flying f what they think. Sorry, that's just my personal opinion.

Well and for your HBAC.

SAHM-25 with DH-35 we have DD-3 and missing DC: 3/08 and DS: 9/08 but : EDD: Jan/2010
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