Postpartum Thread - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 141 Old 02-13-2010, 06:28 PM
 
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I cringe when I have the urge to use the restroom, I can't even imagine DTD right now. I had about 3 million stitches that took 45 minutes to complete so that could be why. I'm starting to think about what type of birth control I want to use. I don't really want to go on the pill but that's the only method (besides being sterile) that I feel "safe" with. I do not want to be pregnant again for at least a few years, if at all. Who knows.

This baby is more high maintanence than our first. She was such a mellow baby. We used to always say we wanted 3 but we're starting to think 2 is our number. LOL

freethinking mom to DD 4/2006 and DS 1/2010
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#122 of 141 Old 02-13-2010, 06:56 PM
 
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Emily is one month and 3 days old now and I can't believe what she up is to. She holds her head up so well, and even rolled onto her back from her tummy yesterday. I swear ds was easily two months old before he could do that...not to compare, but wow! I also got my first real smile last night and I got a few more today. I can't wait to catch them on film.

I didn't really think it would be possible to have more chilled out baby than DS was, but Emily makes my mild tempered Benjamin look like a bad case of colic. She sleeps well, plays calmly...I have no idea what I did to deserve this sort of sweetness. I keep reading threads in the high needs threads in Life with a Babe and praying that I have passed the window of worry where she may suddenly become a holy terror of neediness.

My libido is back HUGELY, but I am so scared I will be that 0.0001% of women that get pregnant in the first few weeks while nursing full time, and I don't want to take the pill, or use latex condoms. I'm hoping I can get a diaphragm ordered at my 6 week check up. But anyway, dh is doing my job during my maternity leave and he is constantly EXHAUSTED! Now he knows what I go through, HA! But that doesn't give us many windows of opportunity for hanky-panky...Hopefully we will get back into productive date nights soon. I miss him, ya know?

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#123 of 141 Old 02-13-2010, 07:00 PM
 
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I cringe when I have the urge to use the restroom, I can't even imagine DTD right now. I had about 3 million stitches that took 45 minutes to complete so that could be why. I'm starting to think about what type of birth control I want to use. I don't really want to go on the pill but that's the only method (besides being sterile) that I feel "safe" with. I do not want to be pregnant again for at least a few years, if at all. Who knows.

This baby is more high maintanence than our first. She was such a mellow baby. We used to always say we wanted 3 but we're starting to think 2 is our number. LOL
I am so sorry to hear about the stitches...owie! I hear you on the not wanting to be pregnant, only for me I am sure that it is never again. I hated being pregnant both times...twice is enough for me.

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#124 of 141 Old 02-14-2010, 10:17 AM
 
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as much as i would like more than 2 kids, i don't think it's in the cards for us. 2 feels really right. i really don't like pregnancy . plus 2 girls was my dream and now it's come true so i don't want to ask for anything more!!

even though we feel done and are probably done, it's hard to commit to getting the Big Snip for DH, although that's the ideal solution to birth control for us. i feel like we should get it lined up before holly is 6 months so we don't accidentally make another baby . but it is so PERMANENT!!!

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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#125 of 141 Old 02-14-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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even though we feel done and are probably done, it's hard to commit to getting the Big Snip for DH, although that's the ideal solution to birth control for us. i feel like we should get it lined up before holly is 6 months so we don't accidentally make another baby . but it is so PERMANENT!!!
It's a lot less permanent than YOU getting the snip, and a lot less invasive. DH said during one of my major meltdowns this pregnancy that he would get one...I don't know yet if he meant it or if he was just placating me, but as we get closer to the six week mark, I am working on the nerve to approach the topic.

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#126 of 141 Old 02-14-2010, 01:57 PM
 
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And dtd w/me while breastfeeding = dtd w/someone who is wearing a shirt. I can't handle it otherwise.
Yeah that. I absolutely cannot handle DH anywhere near my boobs, sad to say. They are just so uber, over-the-top sensitive and not in a good way.

I really, really don't want to dtd right now. It took me until about 11mo pp with DD to actually have any desire at all and well past that to actually be able to have an orgasm. Good times!

I'm tired. Really, really tired...whew.
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#127 of 141 Old 02-14-2010, 03:10 PM
 
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I don't know how I survived yesterday. Sophie didn't sleep for more than 10 minutes at a time and she was super fussy and her brother was grumpy too and throwing some spectacular temper tantrums ALL day long. We all took turns crying yesterday, it was that rough. So rough that I left dh home with the kids while I went out and bought cake and ice cream. (emotional eater, perhaps? lol)
I finally got Sophie down at about 11 though and she slept straight until 4:15!! Wahoo!! And she woke up this morning all smiles. And ds woke up happy too, my dh is off work, my dd1 isn't full of teenage angst and attitude AND the sun is shining! We are off for some much needed outdoor time.

I thought we were going to escape the baby acne but the past two days she's really broken out...all over her face, scalp and chest. Poor bub!

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#128 of 141 Old 02-14-2010, 05:00 PM
 
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as much as i would like more than 2 kids, i don't think it's in the cards for us. 2 feels really right. i really don't like pregnancy . plus 2 girls was my dream and now it's come true so i don't want to ask for anything more!!

even though we feel done and are probably done, it's hard to commit to getting the Big Snip for DH, although that's the ideal solution to birth control for us. i feel like we should get it lined up before holly is 6 months so we don't accidentally make another baby . but it is so PERMANENT!!!
This is when I feel thankful that I can't accidentally get pregnant--some solace for what we spent on IUI and our "pop-sicles." With our first son, my period came back at 4 1/2 months, despite breastfeeding and pumping, so I easily could have conceived at 4 months without even realizing it.

We've always planned for 2, and we both still feel that way. I enjoyed nearly all of my first pregnancy, but didn't have the same experience this time, so I'm definitely ok saying this is it.

Of course, we're only 6 days in to this phase and I can tell that the major hormone shifts just kicked in...
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#129 of 141 Old 02-15-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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Hi Ladies! It's been a while since I've checked in - right now I'm taking a break while my husband is consoling our daughter. It's late at night here (almost midnight) and she's having a hard time going to sleep at a decent hour these days. Rosaline is almost 8 weeks old and is a doll, but is terrible at going to sleep for the night. It's getting a little rough on all of us, and I'm not sure how to handle it. But, we're going to experiment with a few things and figure out how to get her down at a reasonable time. Her brother did not have this struggle and we really need to get our evenings back! It is really hard to constantly have a child to care for from 7am-2am (on the bad nights) and then I'm co-sleeping (which I'm also not in love with, but do it while they are so small because it just makes sense) - so I'm a little overwhelmed by the intensity after 8 weeks straight. But I'm hanging in there. I really love them so much and am just trying to take it one day at a time.

Adjusting to two kiddos has been a challenge for us too! It's going ok, but it's so so much work. I've just had to accept that my life is simply not my own and my downtime is almost non-existent, my house will not be caught up and pulled together, etc. At least for a little while longer until we get into a better sleep routine. I'm getting out and about no problems - it just takes energy - which I sometimes have depending on the night before and how much sleep I got! My son has been adjusting well - after a few rough days here and there - he's good to his sister, likes her, and has generally just gone on with his little life with her as a new and improved part of it all.

My daughter is a sweetie-pie. Sometimes I wonder if I don't play with her enough since I've got so much to do just to keep things rolling in our household. I kind of have to nurse her, change her, and then keep on going most of the time... anyone else have this struggle with more than one kiddo?

I started running again a couple weeks ago, and my lower abs (what's left of them) are hating it. I hate this part - I have the post-partum uglies - my hair is thinning out, I'm overweight, my hormones are readjusting so I'm breaking out a bit, I don't have enough time for self care so my eyebrows are unplucked, etc. Bah! At least my boobs are gorgeous! That is seriously a helpful consolation during times like these. I keep reminding myself that it will pass - 6 months from now it will be very different.

I'm not done. I want more children, for sure. So does DH - maybe 4-5 altogether. But we take it one at a time.

I started tutoring students again last week and oh my - my brain is still in left field. I'm really not fit for serious work right now. Does anyone else have major mommy brain?

So nice to read up on everyone.

~Liz

Lizbiz, wife to my man who makes me smile, and mom to one bouncy boy (08/07), one sassy girl (12/09), and one sweet new boy (08/12).

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#130 of 141 Old 02-15-2010, 02:36 PM
 
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Anyone has sore abdominal muscles? I am 15 days postpartum and my stomach muscles are really sore - especially the sides. I don't think it is from the birth but more likely from weird ways of getting in and out of bed (I have an episiotomy) or handling the baby while nursing and trying to get comfortable or sitting in the sitzbath.
Olivia is doing great. She is having some digestion issues at night though. She sometimes cries out in pain out of nowhere and you can hear digestion sounds a couple minutes later. Nothing besides nursing can console her so I have her on the breast all night. I am nursing on demand. Anyone heard of having 3 hours of break in between feedings to help digestion. I read that if they nurse too often they get fresh milk on top of half digested milk and that gives them gas ?? I don't know though because she would cry herself in a circle if I don't nurse her so I would have a crying baby either ways...

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#131 of 141 Old 02-15-2010, 04:03 PM
 
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I have no stomach muscles at this point (5 days after C-birth) but hope to have them back by fall.

I still am ambivalent about my son's birth. I grieve the home water birth we planned & after experiencing my other son's birth...it is just crushing my heart. My head is totally there with the logic on why I didn't have a vaginal birth, but I guess my heart will take a lot longer to catch up.

Breastfeeding is going well and I am getting some sleep overall. My mom is here until Tuesday--cleaning, cooking & helping with my other 2 kids. I should be having meals delivered this week and then my postpartum doula will be coming in a few hours this week to help out.

I am going to do a newborn photoshoot today & the lighting is perfect in my house. Hope to get those at least downloaded at one point this week.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#132 of 141 Old 02-16-2010, 11:37 AM
 
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I'm definitely in the "I hate being pregnant" camp. Both times, I worried that I would go on feeling vaguely physically uncomfortable for the rest of my life, that it wouldn't go away once I gave birth. When I say vaguely, I don't mean that it wasn't intense, but that I couldn't really pinpoint or describe in words the discomfort [in addition to definable things like nausea, aches and pains, swelling, having to pee 24/7, etc]. I am mentally jumping for joy right now because that discomfort is gone. C-section recovery is a piece of cake for me compared to that.

I worry about how permanent a vasectomy is, too. Since my brother-in-law died as a teenager, I've thought about how a person would want to have another child if something like that happened…so I hate to reduce that possibility [it's like 60% reversible?] Then again, I'm gonna be 38 this year, pretty soon I'll be too old anyway, and dtd w/no birth control, definitely a good thing.

Mawood, I have a similar issue, he is colicky and wants to nurse all the time, which I feel only compounds the problem, and also sometimes leads to copious spit up. I have given him Mylicon which works sometimes, and I held a Hyland's Colic remedy homeopathic tab in my hand [fast dissolve like the teething tabs] and he sucked on it [he *loved* it - the sugar I'm sure- and then immediately went right to sleep]. Also, my husband can work magic on him when he's in this mode - since Dad is not the nurser, Ben can switch gears if Dad holds him. When he eventually hands him back to me, he's always in quiet alert state.

Although I'm pretty happy with my birth this time, I can definitely relate to everyone who's feeling bummed out [b/c of my older son's traumatic birth], and although so far Ben isn't difficult, I can definitely relate to Ratrodgrl, that's how it was with him, too. And even with this baby, it's hard for me since he doesn't really smile a lot yet, but he does cry sometimes, so it feels like a lot of negative feedback. It makes me feel a bit insecure - like, does he like me rubbing his back, or does he wish I'd stop? Also, since he knows I'm the nurser, he just wants to nurse whenever I hold him, whereas he'll just chill out more with my husband.
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#133 of 141 Old 02-16-2010, 12:06 PM
 
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It's a lot less permanent than YOU getting the snip, and a lot less invasive.
Oh, there's no doubt in my mind that it's the way to go. And DH is totally on board. It's just committing to really being done -- a psychological block -- not anything really stopping us. I guess I could get an IUD, but that seems like a hassle to me and it seems silly to spend the money when we could throw it behind a vas.

My stomach muscles are kind of sore, too, and totally blown out I haven't even started to think about how to get in shape post partum, I feel like I have so much on my plate that fitness is the last thing on my mind. But I know that come this summer I'll wish I'd done something about it.

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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#134 of 141 Old 02-16-2010, 01:53 PM
 
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Mawood, I have a similar issue, he is colicky and wants to nurse all the time, which I feel only compounds the problem, and also sometimes leads to copious spit up. I have given him Mylicon which works sometimes, and I held a Hyland's Colic remedy homeopathic tab in my hand [fast dissolve like the teething tabs] and he sucked on it [he *loved* it - the sugar I'm sure- and then immediately went right to sleep]. Also, my husband can work magic on him when he's in this mode - since Dad is not the nurser, Ben can switch gears if Dad holds him. When he eventually hands him back to me, he's always in quiet alert state.

Same here: Dad can console and do some massages or leg movements to help digestion where as I smell too much like food. My nipples are really painful today because she just likes to suck on them when she is upset. She is so strong and it really is heartwarming when she grabs my breast with both hands to latch on the nipple. You can tell when her pure instinct kicks in and we always laugh because it almost looks like a vampire biting. My friend recommended a pacifier that is formed like a cherry seed (they have them in Germany and they are called cherry seed pacifier). She'll send some because they are meant to be better than regular ones in terms of nipple confusion and they will give my nipples a break. I might get the colic remedy when I have my first outing to the store. So far I have been only up and down the street with the stroller. My episiotomy still hurts and bleeds at times. I hope it will heal more quickly once those stitches come out because it feels like the thread is irritating my skin.

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#135 of 141 Old 02-16-2010, 02:42 PM
 
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I have no abdominal muscles to even speak of. I am scared to check the amount of seperation. I am almost a month out, and still a little ehhh. My pelvic joint hurts when I turn over sometimes and my left hip is awkward as well. But nothing compared to cesarean recovery.

I think my baby weighs as much as my 2 yo. Well not really but he is getting huge fast. Right now he is napping with daddy while I catch up with everything else.

Aziz has been doing really well with EC. I am the one that needs to step up my game. He was dry for a 4 hour nap. I was shocked. He is even grunting until I put him on the potty at night- which I don't love because I have always had low blood pressure, so it makes me light headed to jump outta bed. But I ordered a couple of potty bowls so that should help. He hasn't had the problem of spitting up like my other two (they would projectile, and he only lets a little dribble out - and won't take a paci) so I figure he is doing great with the amount of milk I have. We are looking into moving closer to the beach, which sounds great, but we will probably move somewhere smaller. Which means I will have to do a little of sorting and decluttering and then packing (again- since we just moved here 6 months ago from out of state).

And I am no longer freezing as it has been upper 70's for the last few days. I wish I had donated all the stuff I want to get rid of in Seattle- I don't think anyone in San Diego needs winter stuff for more than a few hours a day. Silly me thought it would actually get a little bit colder at least for a month or so in the winter- no go.
I wish I knew someone who could actually use this stuff. Maybe I will do FFS or something
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#136 of 141 Old 02-16-2010, 07:21 PM
 
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And I am no longer freezing as it has been upper 70's for the last few days. I wish I had donated all the stuff I want to get rid of in Seattle- I don't think anyone in San Diego needs winter stuff for more than a few hours a day. Silly me thought it would actually get a little bit colder at least for a month or so in the winter- no go.
I wish I knew someone who could actually use this stuff. Maybe I will do FFS or something
Is it boy stuff?

I live in the mountains near the Upland/Claremont area. I dont know what you have but you could pm me with more info if you like. I was not really expecting a boy after 2 girls!

Super mom to a 5 1/2 year old girl, almost 4 yr old girl, and 2 year old boy.

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#137 of 141 Old 02-16-2010, 09:24 PM
 
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Is it boy stuff?

I live in the mountains near the Upland/Claremont area. I dont know what you have but you could pm me with more info if you like. I was not really expecting a boy after 2 girls!
Well I have both actually! But am looking to get rid of 9-12 month stuff that is cold weather clothes. I will have to look, but would love to just give it to someone. I am not familiar with your area, but I will google it.
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#138 of 141 Old 02-16-2010, 11:55 PM
 
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Gosh Rebekah - eeEEEEeeee Emily is SO cute!

But I have NO libido at all. My yoni is completely off limits. No desire to do anything whatsoever. Man I hope this changes or poor Harry's gonna be totally frustrated soon! But no, I am not feeling it at all and you know, it's not to do with not feeling sexy or breastfeeding or any of that: I feel great! Fabulous! Sexy! Awesome! Breastfeeding and milk everywhere doesn't phase me. I just don't feel sexy in that way - I feel sexy and goddess-like as a mama. Does that make sense? In the "look but don't touch" way. In the "damn I feel fine and I'm gonna strut about like a flamingo but then...go home and watch Shakespeare in Love and eat chocolate instead of get sexy..."

Aww well. This too shall pass I expect. No baby blues here though - I think if they were gonna hit, they'd have hit by now. She's five whole weeks old and SO smiley now! Here's a vid for you that I took yesterday morning:

Bella in the morning all smiley...

It's mostly mama talking and her cooing and babbling and making faces!

XxXxX

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and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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#139 of 141 Old 02-17-2010, 12:46 AM
 
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Gosh Rebekah - eeEEEEeeee Emily is SO cute!

But I have NO libido at all. My yoni is completely off limits. No desire to do anything whatsoever. Man I hope this changes or poor Harry's gonna be totally frustrated soon! But no, I am not feeling it at all and you know, it's not to do with not feeling sexy or breastfeeding or any of that: I feel great! Fabulous! Sexy! Awesome! Breastfeeding and milk everywhere doesn't phase me. I just don't feel sexy in that way - I feel sexy and goddess-like as a mama. Does that make sense? In the "look but don't touch" way. In the "damn I feel fine and I'm gonna strut about like a flamingo but then...go home and watch Shakespeare in Love and eat chocolate instead of get sexy..."

Aww well. This too shall pass I expect. No baby blues here though - I think if they were gonna hit, they'd have hit by now. She's five whole weeks old and SO smiley now! Here's a vid for you that I took yesterday morning:

Bella in the morning all smiley...

It's mostly mama talking and her cooing and babbling and making faces!

XxXxX
What a CUTE video...although, and this is not to alarm you or anything but, your baby is looking a wee bit blue.

I suspect my libido being back has a lot to do with the fact that my lady bits were never stretched or squeezed through or ripped open...I'm still not ready to have anyone lay on top of me though. Actually, we got into some fun intimacy (not DTD but other stuff) last weekend and I think (TMI WARNING) my O may have damaged an inner stitch or something, do you think that's possible? I feel like my recovery is about a week back from where I was. Your night out sounds AWESOME though...I'll take one of those anytime!

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#140 of 141 Old 02-17-2010, 11:27 AM
 
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Want to try chat threads again? This one is getting kinda long!

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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#141 of 141 Old 02-18-2010, 02:07 PM
 
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How are you doing? How is your baby (or babies) doing? How are you feeling about your body? I would love to hear how everyone is doing!
I hate that I'm going to ask, but is anyone else not bonded to their baby? For as much as we breastfeed, I would think I would be. (I actually think the breastfeeding is why I'm not feeling bonded to him yet.) I do adore him, but I'm not at that I-can't-imagine-life-without-him phase yet. I feel guilty.
i have lost 23 pounds already, but because none of it as in the hips, i cannot wear my pre-preggo pants! i'm gonna have to get some new pants soon, i think- in order to look decent while i get back in shape. this depresses me.

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I had a c-section, developed a broad ligament hematoma and had emergency exploratory surgery a few hours after she was born. My husband thought he was watching me die. I had 3 blood transfusions, 2 CT scans, multiple ultrasounds, etc. Oh, and since she was born Christmas Eve and I had so many complications, we were in the hospital until 12-26 and we missed Christmas with our children.

My recovery has been very slow. My incision opened up weeks ago and is STILL being packed every other day by a visiting nurse. I am anemic. I feel traumatized by my hazy memories while I was bleeding internally. I am very grateful for my precious baby girl and grateful to be alive but really upset by what happened on her journey to us.

Sorry to dump on everyone here. I probably belong in the birth trauma section but I am sick of not belonging where I started out. I am doing better everyday but the truth is, it was a horrible experience from start (3 miscarriages in a row prior to conceiving Edelweiss) to finish (c-section, complications). My body and I are not on great terms right now.

Amy
oh, sweetie- that sounds awful and i am sorry that you are dealing with all that. i am glad that you and your daughter are safe after such a gauntlet.

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Angela, no! Never, never look! Nothing good can come from looking! I looked once....

Hugs to you. I'll be thinking of you and your labia

Amy
ugh. i have not looked either. i had stitches and abrasions from the baby coming out so fast (rocket burns! lol). i went from 5 cm to 9.5 in 45 minutes and he came out in 3 contractions. boom!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla View Post
Work is jerking me around though, I was only planning on taking a vacation but they told me that I had to take FMLA because I was taking off more than 2 weeks. That's not a big deal but I have to get a release to go back to work before I can go back to work and if I can't get it before I am scheduled to go back to work (on the 6th) I will be fired. Pretty crappy way of being treated after working there for 3 years. So I have no insurance and no Dr, hopefully a walk in clinic can give me what I need, I'm not going to tell them that it's for child birth because if I did then they won't give me the paper since they don't do OB care (which I don't need or want) Such a PITA. I have to spend $150 for a lousy piece of paper.
sounds like you should get a lawyer, actually. i would not let them screw me over like that! you can raise a stink!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jillmamma View Post
Q for all of you...are you still having pp bleeding, and if not, how long did yours last?
yes- it is yellowish-brownish and i just use regular underwear and pads at this point. i am 20 days post partum.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JayJay View Post
I have NO libido at all. My yoni is completely off limits. No desire to do anything whatsoever. Man I hope this changes or poor Harry's gonna be totally frustrated soon!
i hear that. i do not feel like sex at ALL!!!

Mama to a 3 year old awesome kid, Rowan (aka Mister Boopy) and TTC another at 43!


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Herbalist, Acupuncture student, Mama, Blogger!

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