If want more children. . . when will you start ttc? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 29 Old 02-21-2010, 04:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We just had our 3rd and would like one more child. Our first two are 20 months apart. Our 2nd and 3rd are 2 and a half years apart. I think my first would have nursed longer had I not been pregnant, although I feel good about the nursing relationship we had and she did not seem to be upset when the milk dried up during pregnancy.

I like having the kids close together too. My first two love playing together and I love watching them all interact together. I wonder though how hard is it on my body to be nursing or pregnant almost non-stop for the last 5+years? Is there anything about having 4 close together that would cause me to be considered high risk for the next pregnancy?

I know some people say emotionally the children should have some time to be the baby before another baby is added. But I feel like I'm able to balance giving each of my children plenty of attention and I have a great support system that helps make sure all our kids get plenty of attention as well.

I more just wonder from a physical standpoint- when is it healthy to get pregnant again. With my 1st AF returned at 8 months, with my second AF returned at 10 months (it would have come sooner I think but I started pumping and donating some milk for a friends premie around 8 months post partum)
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#2 of 29 Old 02-21-2010, 04:47 PM
 
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I'm bad LOL I'm currently not trying to prevent pregnancy. I had AF at 8 weeks with my other 2 so I don't see this one being any different.

My first 2 are really far apart in age (6.5 years) so I would really like to have close siblings this time. this was suppose to be my last baby but DH isn't objecting too much like he said he would.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#3 of 29 Old 02-21-2010, 04:50 PM
 
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Well IF we have another, we won't TTC for at least 3.5 more years. I'll graduate 3 years from now with my masters degree in Speech Pathology and hopefully have a job right away. I need and want to work and although my first two kids haven't slowed me down in school (online classes are awesome), once I start my master's program I won't have time to be pregnant or take time off after the birth.

If we have a third child, it will be our last and will obviously be the 'baby' of the family.

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#4 of 29 Old 02-21-2010, 05:04 PM
 
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No more for us, but if we were I would go for a three year spacing.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#5 of 29 Old 02-21-2010, 11:52 PM
 
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we plan on having one more - although since we have to use fertility drugs there is always the possibility of multiples. we're hoping to have the same spacing as ds1 and ds2 which is around 2.5 years. because of dp's thyroid and pcos we will plan on seeing our re spring next year to get the ball rolling.

we are both one of three. my siblings spacing is almost exactly 2.5 years between each of us, although my brother was an "oops on the pill" baby. dp's older sisters are 19 months apart and she's the real baby - 6 years younger than her middle sister.

even though i was 5 years older than my brother, i played a lot with him because of our love of legos.

my sister's oldest boys are 2.5 years apart and then 5 years to the baby. her oldest loves helping but the middle one has no interest.

i guess each family personalities and dynamics are different. our 2.5yo is finally showing some genuine interest in his baby brother. his bff came over to play today and when i came back in the room after changing ds2, he told his friend "that's f, he's my brother".

g

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#6 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 12:28 AM
 
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G - just curious (and please excuse me if this is a rude question), how do you and D determine who is going to carry each child? I know you had B, she had F...does she just have an easier time with pregnancy?

My husband is dead set on having another so two is it for us. I refuse to do hormonal birth control, though, so until he gets the big V then another kid is fair game.

Angela
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#7 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 01:42 AM
 
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I think we'll start TTC when DS is 2+. I need to get settled into a job and career before I can afford to have another baby, we're both just finishing school and we need to get on more solid financial ground. But we'd love to have another.

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#8 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 01:49 AM
 
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I'm not done, my husband insists that he is. He said that after our 2nd though and now we have a third so we'll see. I have been pregnant, breastfeeding or both since 2004 and I think my health is in very good shape. I eat well and try to stay active and I have had 2.5 and then 2 years between my children which I think helped. If we had another I think I would like another 2 year gap.

"Hey, I've got nothin' to do today but smile." - S & G
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#9 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 09:46 AM
 
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angela, no, not a rude question at all!

i'm 7 years older than dp. originally we decided that she would carry all our children and then she admitted she would like a "curly headed baby". we looked into ivf but that was just insanely expensive. so our new plan was that i would have a max of 6 tries to get pregnant before switching to her. i got pregnant on try #2. i had a wonderful pregnancy - minimal queasiness, no heartburn, no backaches, no spd, no blood pressure issues etc.. however, i got a post-partum blood clot and had to go on thinners. turns out i have a mild blood clotting disorder. so now if i were to get pregnant again, i would be on lovenox for the entire time. besides that, i turned 40 last fall.

g

p.s. despite genetics being crazy, dp DID get her curly headed baby. ds1 looks just like me!

my family - dp d heartbeat.gif, ds b biggrinbounce.gif (4), ds f thumbsuck.gif (2), dd a baby.gif (jan '12), ddog m dog2.gif
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#10 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 10:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by indigoscot View Post
angela, no, not a rude question at all!

i'm 7 years older than dp. originally we decided that she would carry all our children and then she admitted she would like a "curly headed baby". we looked into ivf but that was just insanely expensive. so our new plan was that i would have a max of 6 tries to get pregnant before switching to her. i got pregnant on try #2. i had a wonderful pregnancy - minimal queasiness, no heartburn, no backaches, no spd, no blood pressure issues etc.. however, i got a post-partum blood clot and had to go on thinners. turns out i have a mild blood clotting disorder. so now if i were to get pregnant again, i would be on lovenox for the entire time. besides that, i turned 40 last fall.

g

p.s. despite genetics being crazy, dp DID get her curly headed baby. ds1 looks just like me!
Other than the clotting problems, that's a great story! I think it must be really awesome for you guys to have both gone through pregnancy/childbirth/nursing. I wish DH and I could take turns--just because I don't think that you can understand how great/exhausting/hard work all of that is until you've been through it.
I'm sure you were a great support to your DP during her pregnancy and that it was only improved by the fact that you've been through it already.

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#11 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 10:10 AM
 
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Not sure how long we'll wait - but we're trying to wait a bit - our first two are 28 months apart. It's nice spacing, but for me - spacing isn't so important - rather, my real life and desires and realities and health have to continually inform each child as they come. And pray that God fills the gaps if we have an 'oops' (which for us wouldn't really be an oops, ykwim?).

I would guess that it would be good to give your body a few months to heal and get back into shape from birth. Getting pregnant right now would be hard for me.

I've heard that multiple pregnancies back to back can take its toll - I have a friend who has 7 and for her - I don't think her health was fantastic to begin with - it seemed to cause some chronic pain, hormonal imbalance and vitamin deficiencies. Then again, my mom had 15 kids in 24 years and is as healthy as a horse! So I'm sure it's situational and so each woman has to figure out what's good for her!

Lizbiz, wife to my man who makes me smile, and mom to one bouncy boy (08/07), one sassy girl (12/09), and one sweet new boy (08/12).

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#12 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 10:28 AM
 
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I'm about 90% sure Maggie is our last b/c DH doesn't want anymore. I have always wanted 5 and would love one more, but we'll see! He said he was done after the 3rd baby too LOL If we do have another it won't be until Maggie is much older, 3-4 years.

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#13 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 11:38 AM
 
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Honestly I think we'll probably not really prevent after PP AF comes along... It took a few months of purposeful TRYING to get Bella. So not avoiding, I am hoping will give Bella perhaps a year, or 18 months or so to "be the baby" before I get pregnant again. But who knows! I love being pregnant; love babies and am thoroughly enjoying being a mama! So, yes, I want more - even though the last pregnancy was obviously nerve-wracking because of what happened with Josie. Only time will tell when that will be though: I wonder if any of us will be in the same DDC next time around again?

Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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#14 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 12:49 PM
 
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G - thanks for sharing. I agree with Danielle that it must have been so wonderful for D to have the support of someone that has BTDT. Did you two use the same donor for both boys?

Angela
Chatty Girl - 3/2006, Lovey Boy - 1/2010, Delicious Baby Girl - 1/2012
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#15 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 01:34 PM
 
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Then again, my mom had 15 kids in 24 years and is as healthy as a horse!!
Holy crap! That's a lot of babies! I to your mom.

PWIT: I would ask your care-provider what they think is right for you.

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#16 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 02:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Holy crap! That's a lot of babies! I to your mom.

PWIT: I would ask your care-provider what they think is right for you.
My midwife told me she would like for this baby to be a year old before I gave BIRTH to my next. I'm pretty sure 12 months space only is too short. But my body won't even let me get preg. I'm pretty sure for AT LEAST 6 months so I know that I will have more space than a year between my kids. I guess from reading posts of some of you with many children or moms with many children if I'm feeling healthy and my body starts ovulating again I'm good to go.
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#17 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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danielle, angela - thanks! yes, it was great for my dp to have the support of someone who had btdt. poor thing did have terrible morning sickness and then heartburn which i really couldn't relate to too much - i did get cussed out a couple of times because my nausea had been so mild, lol.

we were able to use the same donor.

g

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#18 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 05:48 PM
 
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We are probably done after this one (I think DH feels pretty well done), but honestly, I am fine either way, with one more or not. I am guessing Marissa would be at least 3ish though. With my first 2, AF did not return till 15+ months, and my luteal phase was short till they were close to 2, so I don't think we could actually conceive before then anyway. We use FAM, and Marissa came along when I ovulated a few days earlier than I thought I would, so who knows?

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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#19 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 06:29 PM
 
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...that means you would have to have sex, right?


I think that we are done with babies, although, I'm surprised at how much I'm mourning that we won't have anymore....even though this last one has been very difficult.

cheers,
charlene
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#20 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 07:40 PM
 
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Who knows!!!! My Dh and I like to wing it

Not right now for sure, but sometime in the future when I am not nursing constantly and can actually concieve a child, then we will discuss it.

Obviously we are not big planners, we go where the wind takes us. And if the wind includes a huge downfall of money, then it would probably be sooner rather than later LOL

I know we're ridiculous
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#21 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 07:42 PM
 
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We don't prevent, but I will be praying mightily for a good, long break. If I'm done that's okay because my oldest dd is getting married in june so i may be a grandmother in a couple of years!
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#22 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 07:44 PM
 
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No more for us, but if we were I would go for a three year spacing.
ditto

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#23 of 29 Old 02-22-2010, 08:52 PM
 
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I plan to do FAM until Henry is at least 9 months and then stop preventing.

Aeona - married to super hot nerd Toby . . . mama to Grace (9) Evangeline (7) Duncan 11.14.08 angel2.gif  and rainbow1284.gif Henry (4) born at home. Expecting again December 7th! baby.gif 
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#24 of 29 Old 02-23-2010, 02:17 AM
 
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Well, I've had 9 in 15 years time and have not experienced any problems related to how close my children are spaced. The closest we have are 11months apart. I went in to the OB thinking he would consider me high risk b/c that's what I'd read. He said "no way!" and I went on to have a wonderful pregnancy. The furthest, btw, are 33months apart. I don't know yet for these two how well that will work BUT my first two are 30months apart and it has been a struggle between them since day one. NOW, at 15 and almost 13 they are becoming friends.

Good luck to whatever the future brings you.

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#25 of 29 Old 02-23-2010, 03:11 AM
 
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We aren't really preventing now, but I would be highly shocked if I ovulate in the first year.

I think I'd like to wait until this one will be a little over 2 when #3 is born so that she can definitely nurse for at least 2 years (even if my milk dries up before then). I ended up having to wean my son because of preterm labor worries (and after the labor/birth I had, I think it was wise).
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#26 of 29 Old 02-23-2010, 08:30 PM
 
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#27 of 29 Old 02-24-2010, 01:10 AM
 
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I think we'll stop preventing at 2 years, hoping for a 3-year spacing. That is, IF we decide to go ahead with more. This newborn phase is kicking my butt! But I'm sure I'll be getting baby fever once I start getting more sleep

'curly girl' regina married to my man since 7/99 , SAHM to my DS (2/06) (12/08) a new to love! (11/09)
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#28 of 29 Old 02-24-2010, 02:29 PM
 
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We won't try to prevent another pregnancy. AF came back at 3 months with DD even with no paci's and exclusively bf'ing - however, luteal phase was short until we nightweaned at 18 months. I'm 36 so we will 'wing' it for one more until I'm 40 - then I'm done no matter what. Also, we've had 4 losses and I'm not sure how more losses will impact my mental health - so possibly just one more pregnancy no matter how it ends.

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#29 of 29 Old 02-24-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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I think I'd like one more, dh isn't so sure. But if we decided to go for it, I'd like a 3 year spacing. I got pg with Sophie just before ds' 1st birthday and he was still nursing. My milk supply dropped and he was barely nusing by the time he was 15 months old and stopped except for maybe once a week or two by the end. I felt guilty that he started to wean (although he's back to nursing once or twice a day) and felt he missed out on a lot of b/m goodness. So if there's a next time I's like to have nursed Sophie for at least two years before trying.

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