Woah - Feeling Overwhelmed! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 12:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
Lizbiz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Mamas,

So... my babe is already 2 months old. She's great and chunky and darling. Her brother loves her and is busy as ever. My husband is just great. Helpful and lovely and all...

But I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I'm well recovered from the birth - but I'm in that in between place - recovered, but not you know... really back on my feet. But the world thinks I am.

But I'm not - I'm sleep deprived and working very very hard each day to keep these two kiddies fed, clothed, clean, healthy, and happy . At the end of the day - I'm whipped. And my brain is racing to keep up with all that's happening. I keep lists, I plan, I'm trying to stay organized... but wow - this adjustment is tough.

And now - and this is good news... I may have an interview coming up soon for a job I will likely love love love. I just thought it would be a little later this Spring. Ack! I have much to do in what seems like very little time.

I also just feel like my hormones are shifting around right now and I'm just moody darnit! I'm trying to keep a handle on it - but I just have to admit I'm a little grumpy.

Can't the world wait for me to have a regular routine at 6 months post partum? Apparently not. And that will have to be okay somehow.

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed these days? How do you deal and what gets you through?

Lizbiz, wife to my man who makes me smile, and mom to one bouncy boy (08/07), one sassy girl (12/09), and one sweet new boy (08/12).

Lizbiz is offline  
#2 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 01:07 PM
 
JayJay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southern Minnesota
Posts: 2,492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Remember: you can't do EVERYTHING!!!! none of us are superwoman, you know! Just give yourself a break - don't try to be perfect - it's going to be much better for your state of mind if you stop sometimes, say "stuff the vacuuming" and take a bit of a rest on the sofa or in bed, napping with your little ones. You are much less likely to go insane - trust me! I have two stepchildren (my babies really!) aged 7 and 8 who are with us full time, and then Bella, and sometimes I have to stop and just throw in the towel and make some hot cocoa. Ya know? Then, after a good rest, I don't feel so...underachieving and insane!

It'll all find it's equilibrium eventually - for now, cut some of it out and let it slide, and you'll find you have days when you can get everything done and still feel full of energy

*HUGE hugs* XXXXX

Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
JayJay is offline  
#3 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 01:21 PM
 
Usually Curious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,889
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
Ugh. Good days and bad days, yk?

Yesterday was a good day, but many are crazy, insane, temper tantrum filled days. I pretty much live for naptime.

And no, the world will not wait - sadly.

Everyone thinks I should be recovered, but hell, my insides are hanging out of vagina! It's not like I can wear a t-shirt that announces that either. So, I lie. How are you feeling? Oh fine.

Whatever.

This morning I teared up because I can now feel my prolapse when I'm walking around and I have for the past week or so. It is NOT getting better and the doc said the only real way to help is to kegel. What if I'm kegeling and it's still not better?

Sorry, don't mean to take over your thread with my problems, just know that I feel your pain!
Usually Curious is online now  
#4 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 01:23 PM
 
Gray's Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 3,863
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with JayJay, but I tend to be the "let's do it all" mama. I am really really trying to NOT do that this time around. I'm 2 weeks postpartum & just now getting a very undemanding schedule going. My DH has been home & will be home for another 3 weeks & I am SOOOOO taking advantage of him being here & taking care of our other 2 children. He essentially is doing everything but nursing/changing the newborn diapers

Take it a little bit at a time--have fun on your interview though

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

Gray's Mommy is offline  
#5 of 18 Old 02-25-2010, 02:08 PM
 
jillmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 3,240
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hear ya! For me it is the housework going by the wayside. My 4.5 year old DD is sick with some bad cold/fever right now, so I am hoping the baby does not get it (especially since big sis likes to hug and kiss all over baby sis a lot!). Besides that, I still have the baby to nurse and care for, and to help get DH and the 7 year old to work/school. So, I try to make sure we have clean dishes and clean clothes, and not tripping over too much, and not much else.

Just do what you can, and so what about the rest! Good luck on the interview!

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
jillmamma is offline  
#6 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 09:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
Lizbiz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks guys... the reminder to have fun is really really important. Because what is this all for if it just becomes a race to get everything done. I really want to enjoy my kids and have the grace to take it all in stride.

Right now everyone in my house (except the newborn) is sick too. Good times. My DS has pinkeye in both eyes on top of a nasty head cold and looks like death warmed over. Really, I look at him and wince. Poor little one.

So we are slowing down and we got takeout tonight and decided to put a moritorium on our social lives (beyond what's necessary) until the interview is over. My DH is also going to cut back on his practice time (he's a musician) so I can have more prep time and is going to step up in the evenings for me so I can have more prep time that way as well. The crazy thing about this interview is that it'll be in two languages, one of which I am PRETTY good at, but not quite fluent. No pressure , right? But the reminder to have fun is so so important for me. I learned Chinese because I loved it, and I still do. It IS fun.

Usually Curious - BIG HUGE coming your way... you can hijack my thread anytime, mama... I hope you are getting better soon and I wish there was a way I could help. I'm sure you're so not comfy right now. Can't the docs 'fix' the prolapse somehow?

Lizbiz, wife to my man who makes me smile, and mom to one bouncy boy (08/07), one sassy girl (12/09), and one sweet new boy (08/12).

Lizbiz is offline  
#7 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 10:41 AM
 
~Christina~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northern Indiana
Posts: 341
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
It's not like I can wear a t-shirt that announces that either. So, I lie. How are you feeling? Oh fine.
This is me too, only not the vagina part lol I had a c-section and was feeling pretty good, but last week I started having a lot of pain around my incision again. Now the past couple days it's moved and is more of an internal pain. It was hard b/c DH was home for 2 weeks so I was able to just relax and snuggle with Maggie those whole two weeks. As soon as he went back to work I was expected to just pick right back up where we left off before giving birth and do EVERYTHING. So, yes, I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now. Maggie is wearing boy clothes b/c I can't carry all the clean laundry up the basement stairs to fold it and put it away. My sink is full of dishes b/c the only way to get any chores done around the house is to wear her in the Baby Hawk and that just makes my pain worse these days. I miss my nice, clean, birth ready house.

Christina, mom to Alaina, Addison, Noah, and Magdalyn
~Christina~ is offline  
#8 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 11:15 AM
 
smokeylo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,537
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'm 1 mo pp and start back to teaching next week (just 2x/wk, but still) and have a conference paper to write due in 3 wks. i just don't know if i can do the FT mommy thing AND the grad student thing. every day i intend to write, but it gets crowded out by the more pressing needs of the household -- baby, toddler, dishes, laundry, and the eternal quest to figure out What's For Dinner. i know it will only get worse once i'm teaching and the need to plan, prep, and grade is more urgent than the need to write a paper.

i am really concerned about this, because all of these things HAVE to get done. i think dh really resents me needing him more because his work is so sucky right now, all he wants to do when he gets home is relax. i feel guilty if the housework isn't done, so i tend to do it, which means my own stuff falls by the wayside (and i become really resentful). we have been talking about a major lifestyle change -- dh taking a PT job and a serious paycut so he can be home more and i can spend more time on school/teaching and hopefully progress through my degree faster. but i'm nervous about living on a shoestring budget!

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
smokeylo is offline  
#9 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 08:25 PM
 
Astraia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,400
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, now I feel stupid. My husband extended his leave by another 2 weeks because I'm in such a panic about how I'm supposed to do this. I'm not doing housework or making meals and I do limited care for our daughter because I'm trapped all day nursing the baby (or toddler or both). I've done bedtime by myself only twice so far and both times I spent awhile crying after they were both in bed. I'm barely coping and I have TONS of help, I'm completely exhausted but I'm in bed for usually 12 hours and the idea of doing this by myself makes me want to puke from panic. I can understand why everyone else is feeling overwhelmed, you're all doing so much and have so much more on your plates! I can't imagine dealing with a job or school or another kid and holding it together. I think you're doing amazingly well and totally deserve the break!

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

Astraia is offline  
#10 of 18 Old 02-26-2010, 08:42 PM
 
TrailRnR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Portland Metro
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't know if this is any help, but the reason this thread caught my attention was the title- it described me perfectly after the birth of my son. The things that helped me the most were:
a mother's helper (next door neighbor teenager)
forgot about housework- for about 2 years, lol!
husband bringing home dinner
time

That last one helped the most- things really did settle down and got into a groove, but it seemed like forever at the time.

Hugs to all- this stage won't last, I promise!

** Proud WAHM (DS 10, DD 7) & Happy Wife to DH (29 and holding...) Homebirther & Homeschooler because home is where my heart is **
TrailRnR is offline  
#11 of 18 Old 02-27-2010, 07:09 AM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
when i had Panda we decided that dh would go back to work while i drop to sub status at my job. well he hasnt found anything yet so i've been picking up overnight shifts. so i work 10 hours, come home and nurse her then sleep 3 hours. wake up and do stuff with the kids then sleep 3 hours before work. rinse and repeat. i dont feel that tired but i just feel like there's not enough time in the day. i cant wait until monday. hopefully after then i'll get a few days off.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
#12 of 18 Old 03-01-2010, 12:33 AM
 
Gray's Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 3,863
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
is anybody napping?? as in mama?? i find that if i nap for a few minutes- ifeel less stress. if i miss it, i get overwhelmed easily.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

Gray's Mommy is offline  
#13 of 18 Old 03-01-2010, 05:02 AM
 
MiracleMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 338
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh yes, I am napping...not every day, but on days when I do it makes such a difference.
I have days and moments where I feel overwhelmed for sure. Having a newborn is a lot of work. A lot. It's hard and wonderful at the same time.
I found the transition from 1 to 2 much harder than the transition from 2 to 3. I don't know why. Part of it is that I had ppd BAD the last time. This time, I'm much calmer (most of the time).
I think the one thing I learned that has helped is do not be afraid to ask for help!! I have someone doing most of the cleaning and that has saved my sanity like you would not believe.
Hugs to everyone feeling overwhelmed today....spend some time just cuddling and loving on your babies and you will feel better...this always helps me.

Tanya - Lucky wife to dh & Mommy to dd M (5/02) ds1 C (9/05) ds2 A (1/10) &
MiracleMama is offline  
#14 of 18 Old 03-01-2010, 12:06 PM
 
smokeylo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,537
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
no naps here I don't get tired early enough to nap with my kids. :yawning

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
smokeylo is offline  
#15 of 18 Old 03-01-2010, 12:34 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
when i dont work overnights i dont nap. other than to nurse and diaper change Panda sleeps all night. i get my 8 hours in.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
#16 of 18 Old 03-01-2010, 03:46 PM
 
Usually Curious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,889
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
Now we're all sick (except the babe, he was sick last week). This sucks.

I folded out the sofa bed and put in the Netflix. We are chillin' all day..
Usually Curious is online now  
#17 of 18 Old 03-02-2010, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
Lizbiz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, I don't so much feel overwhelmed as I feel run over by a truck. It's actually gotten humorous, thankfully. That night that we got takeout - it gave me food poisoning - no joke. I was up half the night 'clearing my system out' - and then spent the next day dealing with the shakes/fever/aches portion of the poisoning. It was awesome. And it exacerbated my cold to a pretty severe sinus congested coughing monster - I'm really really under the weather. And to top it off, I made the HUGE mistake of giving in and taking some Sudafed-PE - and in 24 hours my milk supply was way low. So now my lovely little girl is nursing non-stop - which is important - yet inconvenient as I am using every free second I have to carefully craft my application to this job - so my free time is now lessened by my nursing maniac . I'm sure my supply will jump back up - it's just annoying and I feel for my hungry baby who is accustomed to her mother's ample supplies.

So, my application should be done by the end of the day tomorrow - which will be a relief, since I am most certainly not napping these days. I really need to since I wake up in the middle of the night with congestion that makes me want to curse like a sailor! However, this is life in a body - and I'm just going to have to ride this out. My husband and I are just trying to keep our senses of humor intact, and mostly we succeed. Mostly .

Usually Curious- Netflix on the couch sounds AWESOME. I feel like I never sit down some days, I swear! I hope you are feeling better soon!

And MiracleMama - Yes, cuddling and loving on my kids DOES indeed help so much! They make this all worthwhile. I keep reminding myself of that when I'm exhausted and have to keep on working after they've gone to bed. This is for me too, but it's mostly for them. They are my treasures.

Lizbiz, wife to my man who makes me smile, and mom to one bouncy boy (08/07), one sassy girl (12/09), and one sweet new boy (08/12).

Lizbiz is offline  
#18 of 18 Old 03-04-2010, 11:06 AM
 
smokeylo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,537
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD1 has an ear infection and now Holly has caught her cold and keeps choking/coughing on her mucus drainage. This sucks!!

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
smokeylo is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off