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-   January 2010 (http://www.mothering.com/forum/522-january-2010/)
-   -   Is this your last baby? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/522-january-2010/1212470-your-last-baby.html)

geo_girl 04-06-2010 12:40 PM

Hi there ladies,

We were very surprised to be pg with Margaret, and it took a long time to become adjusted to the idea of having 3 children.

Anyway, now she is here, and she is *high* maintenance....

that being said, I have to say that I'm having pangs of sadness realizing that she is our last.

I do *NOT* enjoy the first 6 months, so I'm not sure where this is coming from.

I'm getting too old to have any more (by my judgement), nor do we have the resources for another (again, by my judgement). All the same, if we were to magically become pg again, I don't think I would be too upset.

(Not that getting pg is within the realm of possibility at this point)

ramble, ramble....

anyone else feel a little conflicted about having more children?

cheers,
charlene

AfricanQueen99 04-06-2010 03:53 PM

Yes.


nola79 04-06-2010 08:14 PM

Definitely. If you would have asked this question a few weeks ago, I would have said oh yeah, done for sure. But now that Emma is sleeping more, and her personality is emerging, I am thinking maybe not so sure she is the last one. She is so sweet, and is truly a joy to have (and I don't like the 1st 6mo, either). That being said, I'm not sure I want the responsibility of another child. I feel like I am just now adjusting to having two.
DH does not want anymore. I'm not sure we could comfotably afford another child. But, if I were to get pregnant again (not trying, preventing) it would not be the end of the world for me.

geo_girl 04-06-2010 08:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nola79 View Post
But now that Emma is sleeping more, and her personality is emerging, I am thinking maybe not so sure she is the last one.
isn't it amazing what a bit of sleep with do!

nola79 04-06-2010 08:23 PM

Lol, it truly makes a world of difference!

hakeber 04-06-2010 11:36 PM

Not another for me, thanks. Not conflicted.

DH's unclothed penis will not come within ten feet of my vagina without a layer of latex on it until he gets snipped.

Not one bit conflicted.

Emily is super and if I KNEW I would get five more like her I MIGHT endure the insanity and frustration of pregnancy again...not sure if dh will, but I might...maybe. But this:

Quote:
now she is here, and she is *high* maintenance....
Is pretty much what keeps me from questioning the firm stance of zero population growth.

StrawberryFields 04-06-2010 11:54 PM

Rory is our last. I am happily done! I had a few panicked moments in the hospital thinking that she couldn't possibly be my very last little baby. I cried on the ride home thinking that I would never again meet my brand new baby for the first time, ever again. That I would never hold another one-day-old son or daughter again. Etc., etc. But once I got home and the toddler tackled the preschooler and the preschooler woke up the newborn and the newborn started screaming and the toddler started begging for lunch and the preschooler ground cracker crumbs into the carpet--I knew I was done!!! Haven't looked back since

Magistra 04-07-2010 12:20 AM

We have always said two and we're standing firm on that. When I had my two miscarriages, we realized that just one would be OK, partially because our older son has Asperger's and partially because we were a family of three for more than six years before this pregnancy--though clearly we kept trying. Two is what we have the energy for, we think we can put two through university, and we almost feel too old to be doing the infant stage again. I am glad that I have to actively seek to get pregnant since women in my family tend to be very fertile, myself included.

Kidzaplenty 04-07-2010 01:34 AM

I would have liked this Babe to be my last (with all my problems the last two times, I would prefer to not risk another pgcy). But, since I can't do BC, I can't say it will be (not to mention that I may be pg right now).

Quite honestly, I would love to be getting ready to have grandchildren. But I can't imagine having children younger than my grandchildren.

If I am not pg, I would not mind this WO being my last. And if I am pg, I would prefer this one to be my last. However, if we do end up with more, I would not be truly upset.

So, I guess I fall into the conflicted area.

indigoscot 04-07-2010 09:56 AM

we will be trying for one more, with dp carrying. of course, she has been freaking me out with talk of "boy twins" since we use fertility drugs to get pg. going from 1 to 2 hasn't been as bad as i imagined - i guess because ds2 is so easy-going.

we plan on charting again in november (if dp's cycles come back by then) and seeing our re in the spring.

g

Lizbiz 04-07-2010 10:52 AM

Very likely not our last - I hope! We have two and originally thought of having 6 or so. HOWEVER, now that I have two, I'm just not so sure 6 is going to happen. I also just got a full time job that will require we wait a bit to conceive #3. We also do not use BC - but we chart and abstain during fertile times. I'll be honest - this isn't the easiest discipline right now - but it is absolutely worth it.

If I got pregnant - it would be really really tough with a new demanding job and two littles, but ultimately a blessing.

I have to admit though - I've had the thought that a family of two sounds just right a few times in the past few months. Two is keeping me VERY busy. Little buggars .

smokeylo 04-07-2010 10:54 AM

I'm 90% ok with Holly being the last. I have always wanted 3 kids, but I don't see it working out in terms of the timing with my grad program. :et's put it this way: we won't actively try to get pregnant again. And I think we'd be upset if I got pregnant accidentally again. But I do feel sad that I'm done.

Holly is such a sweetie, and I have always wanted a sister for Robin. I feel pretty lucky, and I love our family right now. I think no matter how many you have, you probably feel sad when you stop. I'm assuming that's the source of my minor sadness .

Marylizah 04-07-2010 11:00 AM

I hope not.

Logically, we'd do well to stop at two. In terms of finances, travel (we have family in 2 other countries, so we travel a lot), space, etc 2 is the logical number.

Plus, DS2's birth was hugely traumatic for all of us.

But my heart aches for a 3rd baby.

We're not making any final decisions right now.

Astraia 04-07-2010 11:06 AM

This is very likely our last. With my 1 in 4 chance of passing on Muscular Dystrophy (and too "oops" babies with no MD) we just can't in good conscience have another baby... on purpose or otherwise. We had been talking about using donor eggs, but we're leaning more towards adoption in the future.

seaheroine 04-07-2010 11:15 AM

I always wanted three or four, but am definitely rethinking this. I don't want to be pregnant again, it is not a pleasant experience for me. When I think of my births, too, they were so amazing and incredible, but Ivy's was quite painful and sometimes I think, wow, childbirth, I'm in awe and inspired...but I'm done with that phase.

Breastfeeding takes so much out of me, too. The thought of never having to do it again is welcome as well. Ivy has reflux and I'm on a strict elimination diet and it hasn't been easy.

I think about homeschooling, too, and I think it would be easier for me with only two, especially this close in age. I can manage two. We can go out for the day and visit museums, etc. A third...I don't know about that. I'm the eldest of four and spent a lot of my childhood watching and worrying about the younger three. I don't think I want to do that to my oldest.

BUT! It is so hard to smell that little baby and not want a million more. I've been packing up baby clothes and am having such a hard time deciding to save or pass them on.

mymary 04-07-2010 10:25 PM

Totally conflicted. I think about it every day.

I actually get an antsy and anxious and sad feeling when I think that I would never get to experience this again. I struggle with myself to discount those feelings. I say, it must be your hormones or something, and then I think maybe it will change if I get past the one year mark.

Making me anxious just thinking about it now.

JayJay 04-08-2010 12:20 PM

Oh no, I plan to have a few more yet I am just loving being a mama all the time really. I made a joke at my six week checkup that there ought to be a box on the PP form to check for "overabundance of joy" as well as all the depression stuff because I'd tick that box... I still feel that way, too. Seriously there has not been a moment where I've regretted anything at all - even though Bella started off needing to be attached almost all the time (even overnight). The most wonderful thing is that she regulated that herself and now can play happily with her rattles and suck her thumb if I need to do housework etc. I've been incredibly, extremely tired sometimes, to be sure, but it's just been lovely nevertheless. I really like being a mama, I really do. I'm so happy I annoy myself sometimes!

So gosh I'd actually really like at least three more...

Gray's Mommy 04-08-2010 12:44 PM

I'm conflicted, but leaning towards 95% we are done.

Liam was our little surprise, so it was soo great to have the opportunity to be pregnant and labor a bit. His birth was bittersweet--homebirth turned cesarean birth, so I don't know in my heart I could stand another surgical birth...and I want a boat in the next 4 years.

Hubby wants to have a vasectomy, but hasn't done anything about it yet.

The best thing though is that I am a birth & postpartum doula so I get to be around childbirth & babies quite a bit

jtrt 04-08-2010 03:22 PM

My truth is I want one more baby but I don't want to endure the anxiety and pain of another pregnancy.

My dh wants to have a vasectomy. I am not ready for that. I guess what I would really like is to get pregnant on accident and not know until 37 weeks. My midwife already said she would VBAC me....See? Its the perfect plan!

nola79 04-08-2010 03:59 PM

jtrt- that 3 week pregnancy plan sounds great, I'll take one of those as well. While we're at it, I'd like to deliver a baby that's about 2 months old!

AfricanQueen99 04-08-2010 05:49 PM

My two month old baby is already over 16 pounds...I'm pretty sure my cervix would go on strike!

Sharlla 04-09-2010 06:36 PM

I thought so mostly because DH didn't want more but now he's willing to talk about TTC when she's about a year. I'm very happy about that.

Gray's Mommy 04-11-2010 03:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jtrt View Post
My truth is I want one more baby but I don't want to endure the anxiety and pain of another pregnancy.

My dh wants to have a vasectomy. I am not ready for that. I guess what I would really like is to get pregnant on accident and not know until 37 weeks. My midwife already said she would VBAC me....See? Its the perfect plan!
Girl, you are amazing!!


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