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#1 of 8 Old 04-24-2010, 10:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just reading over the bottle feeding post by Kitteh, and her saying that she was going back to work real soon.

Massive dilemma over here....

Trying to decide to go back or not. THis is my third baby and I have struggled with this EVERY single time. This is the closest I feel I have gotten to just NOT going back. But, that said, I am still leaning towards going back, I feel sometimes, just because I always have. It's fear again, fear of not having that back up plan, fear of not being able to find a job if and when I would need it later. I am only dedicated to 4-12 hour shifts a month, so for some I probably sound ridiculous, but I dont want to leave my family AT ALL.

This is my gut feeling. I cant shake it, I cant even fake myself out of it. I want to be there for my family every day, every moment, every time. I dont want to miss them AT ALL.

Financially, my husband can take care of us, but it would be very tight and we for sure would not be able to save or buy a house, like we would like to.

Anybody want to share their own struggles in this area, or any advice....

Super mom to a 5 1/2 year old girl, almost 4 yr old girl, and 2 year old boy.

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#2 of 8 Old 04-24-2010, 10:56 AM
 
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I'm going back but I'd love to stay home. I'm the breadwinner even though hubby works. we could never afford to live on what he makes, and we don't live extravagently. I can't tell you how annoying it is for folks to tell me "oh, just cut back on expenses so you can stay home" yeah, sure. cutting out a $100 cable bill isn't going to cut expenses enough for me to stay home.

but, i toured several daycare facilities and ultimately went with one that a few other folks i work with use and all of them have nothing but good things to say about them.

so, this last month of me staying home i'm going to have to get it in my head that the lovely life baby and i share now during the day is going to change. i can only hope i don't fall apart at work my first day back.

mom to Andrew   born Feb 6th, already a mom to child with fur; and still missing and still wondering about the lost possibilities Mar 17, 2009
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#3 of 8 Old 04-24-2010, 11:24 AM
 
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I'm in the same boat - DS goes to daycare at 5 months and I go to work full time. I've been struggling with it, but I really like our daycare (monterssori, really warm and nutrturing and open) and my job is so far looking to be so flexible that I'll be able to bring him with me sometimes, or work from home, or work at a coffee shop near the daycare and go in to breastfeed him. I am considering myself fortunate that I am able to stay home with him until 5 months (so many are forced to start work at 6 weeks) and that I really love my new job. I feel like I am looking forward to its challenges and it is providing a lot of mental stimulation to me already (I've already started working part time from home as I'm finishing my dissertation) So, while I'll be sad to leave him for a long time during the day I think we'll make it work.

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#4 of 8 Old 04-24-2010, 01:17 PM
 
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this is my 3rd & i am not going back full time nor really part time. i plan on working one or two days a week as a substitue in the fall. we can make it on my husbands salary, but it is very tight. by me working 4 days a month, we can get out of medical debt faster & start having our emergency fund back in place. we are trying to follow dave ramsey stuff

i love being at home & was able to stay home with our first for almost 3 years, worked as a teacher part time with our second and will work very part time with our third.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#5 of 8 Old 04-24-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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I felt the same way I am staying home with Olivia and will start teaching on Saturdays in the fall. Olivia is our first child but we are kind of late parents (I am 36) and I already worked a lot in my field so I don't really feel like I am missing out. Also I never got my license to work as a SP in America so I was jobbing the past two years since I am living here. Money is tight but we both feel it is worth it for now even though it means putting off our dream to go back to Germany. We have to pay some bills first and with just one income it is tough. I have always wanted children and stay home with them until pre school. So we will see where it takes us for now.

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#6 of 8 Old 04-24-2010, 08:59 PM
 
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ugh. Rowan is my first baby and I would rather not leave him... BUT. my DP has been unable to find a job and we are struggling to make ends meet.

i applied to a couple positions here and there, just to see and have now have an interview next week. it is likely i could have this job if i want it, as i am very qualified, if not overqualified.

i have been struggling with low breast milk and having to supplement with formula as it is. if i go back, i feel like i will dry up. and my baby is so cute and i just wanna be with him! sigh.

but if i am offered the job, i will probably take it. what else can i do?

Mama to a 3 year old awesome kid, Rowan (aka Mister Boopy) and TTC another at 43!


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#7 of 8 Old 04-25-2010, 04:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catubodua View Post
I'm going back but I'd love to stay home. I'm the breadwinner even though hubby works. we could never afford to live on what he makes, and we don't live extravagently.
This is our situation. DH is a Chilean immigrant who has only been in the US for a little less than a year and has only been working here for 9 months. Since he had no previous work experience in the US, he had to start of working at a cafe for minimum wage. So even though I'm just working as a waitress and not using my degree yet I still make the majority of the money and it's just not possible for me to stay home.

We're currently aggressively paying off the debt that I accrued while I was in college, which should take us a year and a half to 2 years. We're hoping that during that time DH will get a better job, and once the debt is gone we plan to start saving so that when we have the next one I can stay home for six months to a year.

Today is my last day of maternity leave! I have to go back to work tomorrow and I'm kind of in denial about it. But I'm starting off slowly with 4 lunch shifts which are 4-5 hours long, but still I don't wanna go.

Married 12/08 to Chilean DH and mama to DD 2/2/10. We're a bilingual home and we familybed1.gif and toddler.gif

 

Expecting #2 in late June!

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#8 of 8 Old 04-25-2010, 11:51 PM
 
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I go back May 17th. but then I have two weeks before breaking up for summer.

I really go back in August.

With ds I went back before he got really entertaining. DH stayed home with him until he started working again when ds was 15 months of so.

DD has charmed me alreasy and even though I have signed a contract to start in August, a little voice inside of me is wishing I could just be a stay at home mom forever.

I am really digging it.

I am the primary bread winner though. If we were to rely on DH we'd probably have to go back to the UK. So there is that which keeps me focused on my career.

I have been fantasizing though.

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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