Now that I've gotten that off my chest...I'm happy. I'm going to have another baby. Everything is going well. I'll get over it eventually. I'll get through the new challenges. I'll learn. I'll love him.
I just wanted another girl. :cry I feel so guilty that THIS is what I felt when I found out my child's gender. It's not fair to him. It's downright MEAN of me. I also feel guilty that it's such a big deal to me that I even can't picture mothering a BABY boy the same way I would a baby girl...up until today I just assumed it'd be the same...and it will but it just feels different already. I can't stand the rowdiness and physical play that boys do, I'm dreading it already and it's still years away...I haven't cried this hard in a long, long time.
Now I'm just blathering on like an idiot. I feel like a jerk.
Wife to dh and mommy to dd1 (3/07), ds (1/10), and dd2 (any day now)!
I remember with my first, even though I had always wanted a boy first for some reason, I was still a little sad when we found out it wasn't a girl. I would have been sad either way! No matter what the sex, when you find out it's going to be one or the other, you lose half the possibility, in a way.
I do feel a little nervous about having a girl... Girls are weird to me. I've never gotten along very well with other females. *shrug* But we'll figure it out either way, and so will you. And at least, if you don't like your brothers' example, you'll have a lesson already in what not to do.
And about the circumcision issue, hopefully your DH will come around more easily than you think. Many husbands do, once you show them all the research that's out there. There's good hard data, which seems to help, and if you make it about the numbers, rather than about your husband and his parents, maybe it will be less personal and more logical for him. Here's a discussion from a few years ago on the circumcision board, it had some good starting points for me when I was talking to my husband about things.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It is very normal, common, and ok to feel disappointed about the baby's gender. Lots of women have feelings like this (whether it's one gender or the other) In fact, reading your post reminds me of me when I found out my 2nd was a boy. (My first was a girl). But after he was here, I was so incredibly thrilled to have him.
Like the pp said, let yourself feel however you feel without guilt. Let yourself cry and feel sad if you need to. Eventually, you'll feel lots better
But IME no matter what, you'll love this baby. Sometimes it takes having them there to bond. I wasn't looking forward to having my last baby AT ALL. But I'd never in a million years give her back.
It's okay to rant, better to get the feelings out there and deal with them than hold them in. Boys can be fun too, and just think of all the things you'll likely not have to worry about with a boy: skirts too short, anorexia, wanting to wear high heels before they're 7, wanting stupid Barbie movies, idolizing idiotic princesses like Ariel who throws away a loving family for a guy she's never even spoken to, when and where she'll get her first period...see a boy is going to be a piece of cake
I think for me it's just the fear of the unknown. In my last pregnancy I wasn't worried about the sex, but I was worried because I had not held a baby, fed a baby, put one to sleep, etc. I worried that there was some mystery to it I just wouldn't be able to grasp. However, once she was here I found it (mostly) very instinctive, and the parts I didn't figure out right away, I enjoyed the journey. I found that I really like being a mother. I think it would be the same way if I had a boy. Initial fear, unable to imagine what it will be like (in my mind any baby of mine=Nora, anyway), but I think I will love having a boy once he's actually here. That is, if it's a boy.
Blair, mom to the amazing Nora (8/06) , sweet Anneliese (2/10) , and super Henry (8/12)
And for what it's worth, I don't think "boy energy" is the same family to family. I have similar concerns (I have one DD and don't yet know what I'm having this time, but I definitely have some anxiety over the possibility of a boy), and I keep reminding myself that *my* boy will not be like someone else's boy. There are certain so-called male behaviors that some other families think are cute and appropriate, and we totally don't value them here--not for my DH, and not for any future child of ours of any gender.
to you as you absorb the information.
That said, I am so glad that Ds was sent to us. In a way, he is very feminine and I think he would have struggled in a family where there are strong gender sterotypes. He does not have the usual, stereotypical boy energy, as you might think of it. He is calm, serious, verbal and loves to snuggle and be held more than anything. Touch is very important to him and he is very finely tuned to people's emotions. He still likes trucks and sports but right now he loves to pretend that I am his friend the fairy. So more than just saying, "you'll love the baby when it comes," I am trying to say, "try not to have expectations about what this baby's energy will be like." Or, perhaps, I hope you are pleasantly surprised.
And, don't assume that you'll need all new clothes. Ds went through a long phase (a year+) where he just LOVED pink clothes. He had a lot of pink pajamas and some pink shirts (his favorite had ballet shoes). He would just smile so happily in his pink clothes. He has become aware, recently, that pink is a girl color and I am sad for him because he found such joy in pink.
Now this time, I want another boy and I fear it. I don't want Ds and new baby to be compared to Dh and his brother. But, more than that, this time my bigger fear has been that our new child will have a very different dynamic and energy than Ds. We all work well as a family right now and, though I can see benefits to having a sibling who is very different, I also will mourn the loss of our very harmonious family vibe.
I can't find any boys names I like at all. I need to buy all new baby clothes now. DH and I get to have a SUPER FUN TIME argument about circumcision. I wanted a little sister for my daughter. I don't have any experience raising a boy and it going well (my two brothers are, shall we say, menaces to society). And truth be told, I just...don't like little boys. That last one is probably worded too strongly (I don't necessarily dislike boy children), but I can't think of another way to say it. It's something about their energy. I don't know why I feel this way. I just don't know how I'm going to mother a boy. I don't know HOW TO mother a boy. I'm scared that he will turn out like my brothers, or like dh's brothers.
I bet you will have a very different experience with your boy if you are conscious about parenting him (and putting him in school, etc).
That said, I have one boy, and am honestly hoping for a girl this time. Boys wear you out, or at least mine does. He is just super demanding, high energy, etc, which I know is not necessarily gender related, but I think is more often associated with boys (most girl children I know are much more mellow, but then so are most boys LOL). I'm just hoping that if we have a girl she'll be slightly easier to parent!
So, when I find out the gender in a couple of weeks I might be right here with you!
Fast forward 2 years later, I'm pg with my third and hoping for another boy. My ds is the sweetest little man in the whole world. I adore him. He is so much easier to get along with than my dd. And sometimes he just reminds me of a mini version of my dh.
And as the pp's said you don't have to buy all new clothes and toys. My son wears all of my dd's old pj's still. And he enjoys playing with Barbies and Babies. We've been dressing him up like a princess or a fairy since he was like 6 months old.
You never know, he could restore your faith in the whole male species. Mine has!
SAHMlovin' fan to DD 10/00 & DS 10/04 If your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumCirc, a personal choice, Your sons11/986/99anti-tobaccoThyroid cancer survivor. With & & (Boxer) wishing 4 &
And actually, I have a feeling this is a boy, so I"ve been trying to prepare myself for that news.
But, like other PPs, I'm also sure that when 'he' arrives i'll love him unconditionally and will never be able to imagine my life without him.
Eden Jade 18.08.06 & Saffron Jo 13.02.10
Carly  + DH  + DS 
TTC my second and his first!
You know, the funny thing is that I'm a huge tomboy, and I feel much more comfortable around men than I do around other women. My dd isn't girly either, probably because we don't encourage super girly things--she does love animals and nature. So it won't be that much different. It just took me awhile to realize that.
Wife to dh and mommy to dd1 (3/07), ds (1/10), and dd2 (any day now)!