Weekly chat thread Oct 26- Nov 2nd - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 09:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Another week. How is everyone doing?

AFM, I am feeling happy because I have finally felt my baby wiggling for the last three nights in a row! And it was like nothing else I ever felt. And last night it happened while DH and I were watching a movie so I had dh put his hand on the spot and he felt some light kicks or wiggles too. SO that is great and reassuring.

Another thing I am having is night time insomnia. I am not sure if this is pregnancy related. I do like to sleep really late in the day when I can- but when I lie to sleep at night, even if I have woken up early and had a busy day, I find it really hard to go to sleep. Is this a pregnancy thing? I have no idea but it is annoying
Off to go babysit a 2 year old now. Have a good day everyone..
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#2 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 09:20 AM
 
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The girls are moving so much you can see my tummy ripple. Its rather amusing.

Insomnia I've had for awhile. I can't get comfortable. I am bigger (I'm all all ALL belly) and the kicking just keeps me awake.

Heading to the hospital today for a few days. Steroid shots, an ultrasound, and some non stress tests. I last had an u/s three weeks ago, and my cervix was very VERY short...which is why I am now out of work and on bed rest. I'm hoping it hasn't changed and I'm not dilating. If I'm dilating, I could end up in the hospital for the duration of this pregnancy...

Sigh. At least my husband works at the hospital I go to. He can join me for lunch. And he's going to bring my son with him in the evening to have dinner with me.

Will keep updated. They have free WiFi.
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#3 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 09:36 AM
 
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I am now 26 weeks and 2 days! WOW!!! It's amazing how fast this thing is going. Right now I am stressing about my MIL and her 2 year old baby coming to visit for the birth. She will be flying from the states and staying an indefinite amount of time. She always asks me to be honest with her but when I tell her that I would rather her come later then sooner (I kinda wanted it to be just me and DH at the birth, not her and her baby too!) she started crying and told me not to cause so much drama. She desperately wants to be here, her first grandchild, after all. Her baby was an "oops I thought I was menopausal" baby so I just feel like having him here will take away from my own baby. I know that is silly. UGH. Anyways, my mom is coming too but hasn't bought her tickets either and I just really like things to be definite. My DH will have to drive two hours to munich to pick them up and I would rather he not do it two different times during the weeks that I will be "ready to labor". I am just frustrated. A houseful of guests is NOT how I envisioned my first baby being here.

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#4 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 10:12 AM
 
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I am now 26 weeks and 2 days! WOW!!! It's amazing how fast this thing is going.
Wait - how are you 26 weeks and 2 days and due after me? I'm due Feb 4th and won't be 26 weeks until Thursday...


Once again, nothing very useful to say. I'm getting the strong impression that I'm not "crunchy" enough for this board, so don't have a lot to say these days. Pregnancy-wise I'm just in a holding pattern here - baby is moving a lot, sometimes to the point of it being painful. I suppose it doesn't help any that he is probably measuring closer to 28 weeks at this point than 26...dealing with fatigue - doesn't seem to matter how much I sleep, but I still feel exhausted when I get up. My iron is normally good, so I don't think it's that, but they will double check it when I do the glucose test next week...

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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#5 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 11:28 AM
 
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Ugh, Lauren, that is frustrating. I don't know the dynamics of your family, but if it were me I'd be more bothered by having my MIL hanging around my house while I was postpartum, and less worried about the 2-year-old, who might actually provide some necessary disctraction, since all your little one is actually going to want to do is nurse. If MIL has her hands full of her own kid, maybe she'll be less bothered by the fact that you're going to need to be the one holding yours most of the time.

Katie, so glad you're feeling movement!

I'm also dealing with a little insomnia, but it's more like when I've gotten up to pee for the zillionth time I just don't go back to sleep as easily--I lay there for a while, not as tired as I was a few hours ago, but still equally uncomfortable. Ick.

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#6 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 11:48 AM
 
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Wait - how are you 26 weeks and 2 days and due after me? I'm due Feb 4th and won't be 26 weeks until Thursday...
.
oh crap, your right... I am 25 weeks and 2 days

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#7 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 11:51 AM
 
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Once again, nothing very useful to say. I'm getting the strong impression that I'm not "crunchy" enough for this board, so don't have a lot to say these days.
What gives you that impression???

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#8 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 12:24 PM
 
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What gives you that impression???
Just some of the threads being started lately - we don't cosleep, we don't CD, the thought of eating my placenta makes me shudder (no offense intended to someone who wants to do it, just not my thing), I'm using a regular old OB and birthing in a hospital and happy about it - heck, I already know I won't even be able to BF past 3-6 months.

Plus part of it is probably hormones, but I feel like I don't "fit in" on any of my forums lately - On my more "mainstream" board I'm catching a lot of flack over not vaccinating for H1N1 from the "mainstream" mommies, but then also catching flack from the lactavist/AP mommies because I told moms in my DDC that giving formula does not equal poisoning your child. I just hate, Hate, HATE to see moms be made to feel bad because of a parenting decision they want or have to make. I guess in "crunchy" terms I'd be "sprinkled with granola" and my "soggy" parts are frequently at war with my "crunchy" ones so I don't mesh well with either group.

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#9 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 01:43 PM
 
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Just some of the threads being started lately - we don't cosleep, we don't CD, the thought of eating my placenta makes me shudder (no offense intended to someone who wants to do it, just not my thing), I'm using a regular old OB and birthing in a hospital and happy about it - heck, I already know I won't even be able to BF past 3-6 months.

Plus part of it is probably hormones, but I feel like I don't "fit in" on any of my forums lately - On my more "mainstream" board I'm catching a lot of flack over not vaccinating for H1N1 from the "mainstream" mommies, but then also catching flack from the lactavist/AP mommies because I told moms in my DDC that giving formula does not equal poisoning your child. I just hate, Hate, HATE to see moms be made to feel bad because of a parenting decision they want or have to make. I guess in "crunchy" terms I'd be "sprinkled with granola" and my "soggy" parts are frequently at war with my "crunchy" ones so I don't mesh well with either group.
I hope everyone can just be themselves (or their normal internet-selves, really), and if someone else doesn't like it, tough titties.

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#10 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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I agree that all of us women are very different and value different things. If you feel badly about something maybe it's because you feel guilty about it? I am not sure, usually that is my problem. Maybe you know that you WANT to breastfeed but know that it would be nearly impossible to pump that much while working or doing what you need to do. We all have different problems and different lives, don't let people bother you. Most women who attack your choices probably aren't very confident themselves. After all, bullies are usually hiding behind something, right?

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#11 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 02:30 PM
 
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NicoleS -- I feel much the same way as you (see what I just posted on the placenta thread...) I don't have a lot to say on many of the issues raised. I've wondered if it's because I work full time and have 2 kids so don't have much time to think about a lot of what's going on inside me...I am completely not ready for this baby!

I don't understand half the acronyms used, because I am a very rare message boarder -- what is CD anyway?!

I have had a second u/s this morning. Four weeks ago they said the fluid levels were low (10.4 cm, what the heck is that for a volume unit?) but today they were up at 14cm ("average" is 12cm). The want me to go back again in 4 weeks to check on the baby's growth as he/she is currently only in the 20%-ile. I tried to tell them I have small babies (my girls were just under 7lbs and right on 7lbs) and I am not worried, but because of my "advanced maternal age" they want me to go back. Oh well, at least I got some gorgeous little profile shots to show my girls tonight. They are so excited about this baby.
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#12 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 02:46 PM
 
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Hmmm....don't feel like I have too much to add to the convo this week! I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy is going! I feel like I'm starting to retain water again which starts making the weight load on...which I dread. Trying to keep super hydrated, but it doesn't seem to help. I really dont' want to be induced like I was last time, so I'm really hoping all this water retention chills out some!

Lauren--I don't know what the relationship with your MIL is like or what she's like, but I will be praying that that all works out. Obviously you're so far away to stay for a day would be silly, but I hope it doesn't take too much out of you. I don't really like having too many visitors post-partum, no matter how great our relationship is!

Katie--so glad you're finally feeling movement! how amazing, huh?? And insomnia has left me for now, but I'm sure it will soon return!

Zevy--how miraculous having two precious ones growing inside you! I pray that all goes well at your next visit. I had to be in the hospital for a week+ before delivering, I can't imagine months. How soon can you safely deliver?

NicoleS--your comments make me sad! I think you fit in perfectly. There is no "perfectly crunchy" mama. We are each only doing the best we can and I believe you're doing a great job! I've agreed with you a lot: ultrasounds, testing, etc! Keep talking!

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#13 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 06:16 PM
 
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I hear you all on the insomnia! It doesn't help that I have a 17 month old who still doesn't sleep through the night, resists naps, and I am trying to work full time while I have a husband whose work takes him away from the house for the fall. But my goal every week is to remain positive and find gratitude for what is going well and "right." I have my 26 week appt this week and will get my cervix checked again for funneling and length. I am still having lots of contractions and just pray every day that I can maintain this boy for another week.

I thought I would throw my 2 cents on the not feeling crunchy enough, or like you fit in on any message board. Sometimes I feel like I straddle the line as well, but do prefer MDC message board because in general I think people here are more accepting. I think there is a difference between accepting and agreeing, too. Pregnancy, birth and child rearing is SO personal and what I have learned is that no matter how much you prepare, research and establish what is perfect and right, parenthood is a dynamic role--it changes, along with preferences ideas and sometimes even beliefs. And that is okay! What I think is of utmost importance is for women, especially pregnant women, to have a vehicle for expression and a sounding board of generally like-minded individuals whose objective is not always validation, but active listening. Sometimes, I just want someone to say, "I hear you..." We may not always agree (I'll put it right out there that coming from an extensive background in public health and working at the CDC for awhile, I am pretty sure that I will probably get the H1N1 vaccine, and my son who is at a daycare at my husband's high school, will probably get one too.). I don't exclusively cloth diaper (just at home), and I have a male OB and giving birth at a hospital called THE BABY FACTORY in Atlanta! (okay, that one was not my preference). I had to sort of accept that, and be okay with my decisions and situation. And sometimes I do feel like I need to edit some of my preferences here (e.g. my decision regarding the vaccine), but that's okay.

I certainly hope no one feels the need to hit a certain "crunchy" quota of life choices to be able to feel supported on this board--and Nicole, I do hope you have found some support on this board in the past; I know there is a coterie of women here are willing to listen!

I applaud all of you women on this board for your exceptional life experiences, positions and although may not agree 100% of the time, hope that we can all continue to focus on support and empathy!

Ali: Proud mother to Miles 05.16.08 and boy #2Felix 01.04.2010.
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#14 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 09:01 PM
 
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I hope everyone can just be themselves (or their normal internet-selves, really), and if someone else doesn't like it, tough titties.
See, I try - and that's what generally gets me into trouble. Since I'm a newer member here I've found I'm more likely to be on my "good" behavior since I'm not as comfortable here. My other board I've been on since pregnant with my first DD, when it was a very small board, and so I tend to be more vocal there - some people like that and some people really don't.

Plus add to that the fact that I've always been the sort of person to take a stand and take so patiently - and I enjoy a good debate. I was the person in middle school passionately backing Ross Perot when our class was studying the upcoming elections (and let's just say our class division pretty much followed the electoral votes, LOL, I think there was one other person campaigning for Perot with me). My girlfriend claims it is because I am an Aries, and I guess Aries are passionate and stubborn about their ideals? But add that quirk with pregnancy hormones and I can let things go about as well as pit bull can...

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I agree that all of us women are very different and value different things. If you feel badly about something maybe it's because you feel guilty about it? I am not sure, usually that is my problem. Maybe you know that you WANT to breastfeed but know that it would be nearly impossible to pump that much while working or doing what you need to do. We all have different problems and different lives, don't let people bother you. Most women who attack your choices probably aren't very confident themselves. After all, bullies are usually hiding behind something, right?
I just get upset over people who make sweeping generalizations or assume things. For example, I had one mom tell me that I was making a "risky gamble with my unborn child's life" by not getting the H1N1 shot - despite my stating that neither my OB nor the pedi recommend it and the safety and the effectiveness have not been proven. If you want to get the shot - great - just don't attack me for my decision not to, KWIM? BFing is another sore subject for me - I have heard so many times the "oh you just didn't try hard enough" type of comments. It caused me to literally starve my second daughter (she lost a pound in 6 weeks, and that was after she had already dropped from the 75th percentile at birth down to the 10th percentile) because I had become so against formula. So our decision to do formula was never something we did for lack of trying or because it was easier. I've tried everything from eating oatmeal to prescription drugs and still can't BF full time.

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NicoleS -- I feel much the same way as you (see what I just posted on the placenta thread...) I don't have a lot to say on many of the issues raised. I've wondered if it's because I work full time and have 2 kids so don't have much time to think about a lot of what's going on inside me...I am completely not ready for this baby!

I don't understand half the acronyms used, because I am a very rare message boarder -- what is CD anyway?!
CD = Cloth Diapering - I'm not against it by any means and if we were in different circumstances I'd be totally into trying it - but living in an apartment and having to go to the laundry mat it really doesn't work for it.

The whole being a mom already I think also adds to my feelings about the boards - I'm having a much harder time "bonding" with my birth month rooms this time. I already feel like I know what works for us, so there's not much up for discussion there, and then add to it that this is my 4th pregnancy in 4.5 years and a lot of the "magic" is gone this time around, if that makes any sense. Don't get me wrong - I still love this little babe and am still looking forward to meeting him - it's just hard to get excited about every little wiggle and a belly that is more of hassle than anything when I'm trying to get my day-to-day routine done.

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NicoleS--your comments make me sad! I think you fit in perfectly. There is no "perfectly crunchy" mama. We are each only doing the best we can and I believe you're doing a great job! I've agreed with you a lot: ultrasounds, testing, etc! Keep talking!
Thanks - and thanks to everyone else who responded that I didn't quote. I'm just having a grumpy day I think.

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#15 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 09:11 PM
 
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NicoleS -- I feel much the same way as you (see what I just posted on the placenta thread...) I don't have a lot to say on many of the issues raised. I've wondered if it's because I work full time and have 2 kids so don't have much time to think about a lot of what's going on inside me...I am completely not ready for this baby!

I don't understand half the acronyms used, because I am a very rare message boarder -- what is CD anyway?!
Hey, I agreed with you on the placenta thread! "CD" is "cloth diapering".

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I applaud all of you women on this board for your exceptional life experiences, positions and although may not agree 100% of the time, hope that we can all continue to focus on support and empathy!

Everyone has different situations. I'm a grad student (research based) and my hubby works 2nd shift, so we are planning on working around that. But, because of schedules and other life situations, I'm sure I'm making different choices than your average SAHM or WOHM because I'll be somewhere in between.

Usually, if I disagree or don't have opinions on things, I just don't contribute to a thread, (or I don't mention it in the weekly chat) and I think that dissent often gets drowned out that way on boards (just from a lot of us non-confrontational ladies). For instance, I just picked out a lovely pack-n-play that I am super-excited about, but I know many (or most?) moms on here either don't use them or think they're evil .

The reason I love the "crunchiness" here is because, to me, I don't consider these choices "hippie" or "crunchy" at all. I was raised in the Appalachians (in a holler, no less ) and many of the "hippie-ish" things like baby wearing and using herbal remedies were the things my great-grandmothers did...so I consider these mountain things.....ok, end sidebar.

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I'm am very high energy lately. I guess this is what everyone talks about the 2nd tri energy...too bad we're almost in the 3rd now!

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#16 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 09:19 PM
 
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Nicole, I don't consider myself all that crunchy: never even considered having my placenta, only CD'ing possibly because of the cost of diapering twins (yikes!!), bf'ing probably for the same reason, am in a hospital with a high risk OB due to complications, etc.

But what I like about this board is the general openness of different opinions. On other boards I've been on, they seem less about 'mothering' to me. But that's just my impression.

As an update to me, it looks like I'll be in the hospital for two weeks. At that point, I'll get another assessment and see where I'm at, and we'll go from there.

Ugh. I wasn't all that surprised, but it is very disheartening.

I'm on progesterone still, had my first steroid shot and will get a second one tomorrow, and will be taking some anti-contraction meds for the next 48 hours (hardly crunchy).

Starting on Sunday, they won't allow children onto any inpatient unit, so my son can't come into my room. BUT, my OB will grant me wheelchair access, so at least he can come to the hospital and I can meet him in the cafeteria or something.

As much as I don't want to be here, its best for me and the twins....

I just feel badly for my husband as well. While I couldn't do anything while I was there, at least I WAS there...
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#17 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 10:02 PM
 
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Hugs, Zevy! That sounds really, really hard. You're in my thoughts.

Chessa , mama to Silas T (6/06) , wife to Chad . Welcome August Emerson! 2/8/10
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#18 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 10:38 PM
 
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Poor Zevy, hang in there! The time will eventually pass for all of us.

Nicole, don't worry! If we could only be friends with those who agreed on all parenting issues, we'd have no one to talk to.

I've been having all kinds of movement too, it's great. It's much easier not to worry when I can feel how active the baby is in there.

I can still hardly walk without feeling like the baby is pushing out through my belly, and shopping this afternoon was not at all fun, but I keep drinking my water, and I'm pretty sure I'm not having too many contractions.

I am pretty sure I can start to find the head when I'm feeling my belly - I should probably stop checking for a month or two. My last one was breech, so when I keep finding this one's little head up by my belly button, I start wondering if I should start my breech exercises now... I know, I know it's far too early to worry, but I was reading spinning babies, and she keeps talking about uterine septums and needing to get babies head-down by 5 or 6 months in that case. Of course, I have no reason to think I have a uterine septum. Breech babies run in the family (both sides), but so do big heads. Ah well, I've done it once.
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#19 of 85 Old 10-26-2009, 11:18 PM
 
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Well, my two cents worth might be repetitive now, sorry! I think it is important to feel like you can voice an opinion or what you have decided to do without having the push back of someone else's judgement. Usually, I just don't comment if it is something I wouldn't do or just don't see the point in discussing. Lots of people live in so many different situations and who would I be to assume that my choice I am making for me is the best for your family for parenting styles??? I would probably qualify myself as pretty crunchy but there are some things I don't think are so crunchy.

One thing in particular that makes me sad Nicole S is that anyone made you feel so bad for feeding your baby formula! I am working on my certification to be a lactation consultant so you know I am super pro breastfeeding. I first want to say it might not be for everyone and mom and baby's health come first. The first and primary job is to feed the baby! I don't know what your situation was/is but I am sorry that you ever felt bad for having to feed your baby formula. 3-6mo is awesome for breastfeeding and your babes and you will have that health benefit for the rest of their lives. I applaud you! I don't think you seem like someone who would, but please don't short change yourself because what you can do/want to do is "not long enough" or whatever " " enough.
Hmmm, so I do think the hormones are on the prowl in me too. I apologize if that was incredibly passionate!

DH rearranged all of the furniture downstairs for me this weekend because I have been so stressed with school. It looks amazing and I feel so much better. My belly is still leaping from side to side with Malachi and it is somewhat distracting during class. I have felt some guilt because I have gotten so focussed on finishing everything for school that there have been many days that I haven't really paid attention to being pregnant. I know that I pretty much won't have this type of time to focus on being pregnant ever again and I don't want to miss it. On a complaining note, my hips and back are causing me incredible pain, especially at night. I woke up at least 15 times last night just because my hips hurt so bad. Luckily I have a chiro appt on Wednesday and that has really helped in the past. Oh I can't wait!

Congrats on baby movement Katie!

And zevy- here's to hoping those active little ones stay put for a lot longer. You are such a strong mom to take it as it comes, I hope you don't get too stir crazy. I will definitely be looking for your updates!

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#20 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 12:26 AM
 
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For instance, I just picked out a lovely pack-n-play that I am super-excited about, but I know many (or most?) moms on here either don't use them or think they're evil .
Which one? I registered for the Graco Little Hoot one. It was about the most perfect one for a neutral registry. I ended up altering a lot of my preferences to go around it, haha!

I am still feeling awesome. I had a little setback mentally when I screwed up my checking account and got hit with overdraft fees but I'm getting my confidence back. It's funny, this is the first time in my life that I've felt like I could do anything.

I think if it weren't for the belly (complete with bouncing baby) and the varicose veins in my legs, I wouldn't even know the difference. Sure I'm a little swollen and tired but overall my health is the best it's ever been. I did get a random nosebleed last week which was weird since that's never happened to me before.

Baby has had hiccups the last two mornings, which was a riot. It was so different from the regular kicks and wiggles. This made my whole stomach bounce!

I hate being questioned about my choices, too. I hate feeling like I have to justify everything to people. My work offers a program where you get a free gift card if you enroll and you have a nurse you are supposed to talk to. She was totally thrown off by my decision to not get an ultrasound but couldn't really say anything since I had all this information to back it up.

People are shocked that I don't get weighed. Like that means I'm not doing anything to take care of myself. If I'm eating right, feeling great, and growing on schedule, what is the big deal if I choose not to know the number on the scale. But I can't explain that to most people. At least I have my husband, mom, and best friend on my side.

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#21 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 01:10 AM
 
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Usually, if I disagree or don't have opinions on things, I just don't contribute to a thread, (or I don't mention it in the weekly chat) and I think that dissent often gets drowned out that way on boards (just from a lot of us non-confrontational ladies). For instance, I just picked out a lovely pack-n-play that I am super-excited about, but I know many (or most?) moms on here either don't use them or think they're evil .
We have a pack and play too. I've found that they are quite useful for when you can't keep 100% of your attention on baby and they are getting too big (or bored) of the bouncer or the swing and aren't big enough to let run around yet...plus they offer some protection from overly curious siblings, LOL

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Nicole, I don't consider myself all that crunchy: never even considered having my placenta, only CD'ing possibly because of the cost of diapering twins (yikes!!), bf'ing probably for the same reason, am in a hospital with a high risk OB due to complications, etc.

But what I like about this board is the general openness of different opinions. On other boards I've been on, they seem less about 'mothering' to me. But that's just my impression.

As an update to me, it looks like I'll be in the hospital for two weeks. At that point, I'll get another assessment and see where I'm at, and we'll go from there.

Ugh. I wasn't all that surprised, but it is very disheartening.

I'm on progesterone still, had my first steroid shot and will get a second one tomorrow, and will be taking some anti-contraction meds for the next 48 hours (hardly crunchy).

Starting on Sunday, they won't allow children onto any inpatient unit, so my son can't come into my room. BUT, my OB will grant me wheelchair access, so at least he can come to the hospital and I can meet him in the cafeteria or something.

As much as I don't want to be here, its best for me and the twins....

I just feel badly for my husband as well. While I couldn't do anything while I was there, at least I WAS there...
Hugs! I can't imagine being on bedrest, especially not in the hospital with baby and hubby at home. Hope you get good news in 2 weeks.

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Originally Posted by flavorfull1 View Post
Well, my two cents worth might be repetitive now, sorry! I think it is important to feel like you can voice an opinion or what you have decided to do without having the push back of someone else's judgement. Usually, I just don't comment if it is something I wouldn't do or just don't see the point in discussing. Lots of people live in so many different situations and who would I be to assume that my choice I am making for me is the best for your family for parenting styles??? I would probably qualify myself as pretty crunchy but there are some things I don't think are so crunchy.

One thing in particular that makes me sad Nicole S is that anyone made you feel so bad for feeding your baby formula! I am working on my certification to be a lactation consultant so you know I am super pro breastfeeding. I first want to say it might not be for everyone and mom and baby's health come first. The first and primary job is to feed the baby! I don't know what your situation was/is but I am sorry that you ever felt bad for having to feed your baby formula. 3-6mo is awesome for breastfeeding and your babes and you will have that health benefit for the rest of their lives. I applaud you! I don't think you seem like someone who would, but please don't short change yourself because what you can do/want to do is "not long enough" or whatever " " enough.
Hmmm, so I do think the hormones are on the prowl in me too. I apologize if that was incredibly passionate!
Well - part of it is my own fault. I get involved in the "what do you think about this" sorts of threads, and then get defensive when someone attacks what I do. You don't talk about my parenting, I won't talk about yours - but attack me and mama bear comes out, LOL.

On the BFing thing - long story short AF comes back for me at 3 months and my supply never recovers. By 6 months this cow is dry. Seen the LC, talked to the OB, and tried every trick in the book and it doesn't help. I never wanted to be an extended BFer, but I had hoped to make it to a year - and since this has happened 3 out of 3 times so far it looks highly unlikely.

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Originally Posted by Ninetales View Post

I hate being questioned about my choices, too. I hate feeling like I have to justify everything to people. My work offers a program where you get a free gift card if you enroll and you have a nurse you are supposed to talk to. She was totally thrown off by my decision to not get an ultrasound but couldn't really say anything since I had all this information to back it up.

People are shocked that I don't get weighed. Like that means I'm not doing anything to take care of myself. If I'm eating right, feeling great, and growing on schedule, what is the big deal if I choose not to know the number on the scale. But I can't explain that to most people. At least I have my husband, mom, and best friend on my side.
I hope you get the gift card! I enrolled in a similar program twice and never saw it. I think it is interesting you don't get weighed - I wish I could avoid the scale, LOL. But even if I could, I'd probably stress myself out that I wasn't...that's why I'm not allowed a scale at home, I'd be on it a dozen times a day freaking out about it. The not getting an u/s would be far more shocking to me - prior to coming to this board I had no idea that people would decline it - I'd heard of not finding out the sex, but never known someone to not get an u/s period...

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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#22 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 01:59 AM
 
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Just some of the threads being started lately - we don't cosleep, we don't CD, the thought of eating my placenta makes me shudder (no offense intended to someone who wants to do it, just not my thing), I'm using a regular old OB and birthing in a hospital and happy about it - heck, I already know I won't even be able to BF past 3-6 months.

Plus part of it is probably hormones, but I feel like I don't "fit in" on any of my forums lately - On my more "mainstream" board I'm catching a lot of flack over not vaccinating for H1N1 from the "mainstream" mommies, but then also catching flack from the lactavist/AP mommies because I told moms in my DDC that giving formula does not equal poisoning your child. I just hate, Hate, HATE to see moms be made to feel bad because of a parenting decision they want or have to make. I guess in "crunchy" terms I'd be "sprinkled with granola" and my "soggy" parts are frequently at war with my "crunchy" ones so I don't mesh well with either group.
Aww! I'm sorry that you've felt less-than-comfortable here lately! I do understand what you mean...I feel that way a lot with some of the more mainstream threads...in fact, sometimes it's a bit shocking to come here and find mainstream threads, because most of the time, MDC feels like a haven from all that, yk? When the stuff we fight against daily follows us here, it can be a bit jarring.

I think the mamas here, if you were to meet them in real life, would be the most accepting and open-hearted mamas on the planet. But in this environment, I think it is easy to feel judged and like you don't quite measure up....I think the reason is that, being non-mainstream, we quite often have to defend ourselves. We are constantly swimming upstream in a very crowded current! I think it is sometimes too easy to hang onto that defensive posture that we have to use out in the real world, yk?

I'm not the crunchiest cracker in the box by any means, but in real life it often feels like I stick out like a sore thumb....a sore baby-wearing, cloth-diapering, extended breast-feeding, home-birthing, homeschooling, placenta-eating ( ) thumb! uhh..just kidding about the placenta-eating...I've never done that--yet. I'm in the process of trying to convince myself that I could choke down the capsules, LOL!

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Originally Posted by NicoleS View Post
The whole being a mom already I think also adds to my feelings about the boards - I'm having a much harder time "bonding" with my birth month rooms this time. I already feel like I know what works for us, so there's not much up for discussion there, and then add to it that this is my 4th pregnancy in 4.5 years and a lot of the "magic" is gone this time around, if that makes any sense. Don't get me wrong - I still love this little babe and am still looking forward to meeting him - it's just hard to get excited about every little wiggle and a belly that is more of hassle than anything when I'm trying to get my day-to-day routine done.
LOL! I so could have written every word of that! I've been a member on this board for over 6 years, and I lurked for nearly 2 years before that! Sometimes it feels like I'm repeating myself. I mean, there's always something new and unexpected with parenting (like the pint of maple syrup that my 22 month-old scaled the pantry shelves to reach this morning so she could decorate the kitchen floor, herself, and the living room couch this morning while I took a 10-minute shower! ), but really, that kind of stuff aside, after 4 kids, I've already pretty much made up my mind about how to parent. But there's nothing worse than a know-it-all, and I don't want to just repeat myself. And a lot of the time, threads/questions get sort of recycled, since the community is always changing and growing....there's only so many times you can respond to a thread about delayed cord clamping before you start to feel like you are being redundant. And I really hate to repeat myself! (Did I already mention that?? )

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Originally Posted by Ambystoma View Post
For instance, I just picked out a lovely pack-n-play that I am super-excited about, but I know many (or most?) moms on here either don't use them or think they're evil .
Pack-n-plays are evil?? Dang, I missed that memo! Seriously, I don't think we could manage without ours.....we travel a lot, usually staying in people's homes. And even if full-time cosleeping were possible for us, we never know what accomodations will be like...we might be on an air mattress, a full-size futon mattress, or a pull-out couch! Plus, when the 3 year-old need his bottom wiped, I'd rather not leave the baby on the floor under the "direct supervision" of the 22 month old! She might decide to decorate him/her with syrup or something!

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Originally Posted by hapersmion View Post
Nicole, don't worry! If we could only be friends with those who agreed on all parenting issues, we'd have no one to talk to.
Truer words were never spoken! One of my very dearest most wonderful friends in all the world is an Ezzo/Babywise mom. No kidding. I hate Babywise with all the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns, but I love this woman, and have great respect for her as a mother. We just don't talk about sleep issues....

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Originally Posted by flavorfull1 View Post
I apologize if that was incredibly passionate!
Passing along a word of wisdom, courtesy of my grandmother: never never never NEVER apologize for being passionate!


In other news, I cut all my hair off last week, and spent 3 days cursing my stupidity and hormones....I KNOW BETTER than to make drastic, spur-of-the-moment changes to my hair when under the influence of hormones!

But today, the cute-as-a-button-I-wish-I-could-take-him-home-with-me chiropractor told me he really liked the new style, so now I've decided I like it, LOL! It's amazing what a little flattery can do.....

Also, dh treated us to pizza for dinner tonight. SO yummy.....and so not worth it. Oh, heartburn, why do you torture me so??? It's 1 am, I need to be in bed!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
~~*~~Not your typical Pastor's Wife!~~*~~
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#23 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 09:48 AM
 
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1: Liquid iron supplements are awesome! The elephant on my chest is now losing weight daily! Yaaay!

2: But I stopped taking my nightly calcium in order to focus on iron, and now I am back to needing 5 or 6 carefully arranged pillows in order to sleep at night. When I was taking the calcium before bedtime, I was down to only needing 2 pillows -- one under my head and another between my knees!

3: When the message boards are stressful instead of fun, just take a little break. And nothing any Internet Person says can really be about you--they DON'T know you. So try to discourage yourself from taking anything personally.

3.5: I'm on MDC specifically so that I can finally talk about things like munching on a steaming chunk of placenta. I feel like I hear how gross it is all the time and from everyone (including a midwife I interviewed), which is why I didn't try placenta last time, and I regret it, because it seems like it really might have helped me with that life-altering hemorrhage (see elephant on chest above!). One friend in real life actually said--although she didn't intend for it to get back to me--"Don't all mammals lick their butts, too?"... So-called "crunchy" moms are still in the minority, I think. It's good to have each other's support.

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#24 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 10:23 AM
 
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2: But I stopped taking my nightly calcium in order to focus on iron, and now I am back to needing 5 or 6 carefully arranged pillows in order to sleep at night. When I was taking the calcium before bedtime, I was down to only needing 2 pillows -- one under my head and another between my knees!
.
Why does calcium help??? I take my calcium/D in the mornings and my prenatal and iron at night... Shoudl I swap that? I normally eat yogurt in the mroning so I don't want to take the iron in the morning.

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#25 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 10:29 AM
 
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I'm not the crunchiest cracker in the box by any means, but in real life it often feels like I stick out like a sore thumb....a sore baby-wearing, cloth-diapering, extended breast-feeding, home-birthing, homeschooling, placenta-eating ( ) thumb! uhh..just kidding about the placenta-eating...I've never done that--yet. I'm in the process of trying to convince myself that I could choke down the capsules, LOL!
See I baby wear the first year (after that my kids have been too big for it to be comfortable for me, and/or I've been pregnant again) which while it usually gets a positive response like "oh how cute" most people around here don't. Occasionally I'll see another BWing mom at the store and want to run up to her - but then I feel weird putting her on the spot unless we end up in the same checkout lane or something. We homeschool, which outside of our church most people I've run into think that is crazy. Can't extended BF, think CDing is cool but don't do it myself, and totally terrified to even contemplate a homebirth - one of my biggest fears is that I won't make it to the hospital in time.



Quote:
LOL! I so could have written every word of that! I've been a member on this board for over 6 years, and I lurked for nearly 2 years before that! Sometimes it feels like I'm repeating myself. I mean, there's always something new and unexpected with parenting (like the pint of maple syrup that my 22 month-old scaled the pantry shelves to reach this morning so she could decorate the kitchen floor, herself, and the living room couch this morning while I took a 10-minute shower! ), but really, that kind of stuff aside, after 4 kids, I've already pretty much made up my mind about how to parent. But there's nothing worse than a know-it-all, and I don't want to just repeat myself. And a lot of the time, threads/questions get sort of recycled, since the community is always changing and growing....there's only so many times you can respond to a thread about delayed cord clamping before you start to feel like you are being redundant. And I really hate to repeat myself! (Did I already mention that?? )
Maple syrup, that sounds like a fun one. I think our worst one was my daughter stealing a tub of vaseline from the bathroom and smearing it over everything during nap one day - that stuff was a pain to get out! And yup, I see the same conversations over and over again on my "mainstream" board - just new people having them.

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Truer words were never spoken! One of my very dearest most wonderful friends in all the world is an Ezzo/Babywise mom. No kidding. I hate Babywise with all the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns, but I love this woman, and have great respect for her as a mother. We just don't talk about sleep issues....
Yes, never have this problem IRL - and I could hardly be more different than some of my girlfriends. While I'm not quite as "bad" as Babywise, I think we tend to take a more mainstream approach to parenting - whereas my BFF is a vegan, co-sleeping, water-birthing mama (yet doesn't babywear, go figure). I may when she calls me on the phone to vent (and I'm sure she does the same to me) but we don't tell eachother how to parent and it works.


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3.5: I'm on MDC specifically so that I can finally talk about things like munching on a steaming chunk of placenta. I feel like I hear how gross it is all the time and from everyone (including a midwife I interviewed), which is why I didn't try placenta last time, and I regret it, because it seems like it really might have helped me with that life-altering hemorrhage (see elephant on chest above!). One friend in real life actually said--although she didn't intend for it to get back to me--"Don't all mammals lick their butts, too?"... So-called "crunchy" moms are still in the minority, I think. It's good to have each other's support.
Wow, that seems a bit uncalled for.


I originally came to MDC because someone suggested I might be able to find a doula here - I was playing around with the idea of finding one, but being that we don't have a lot of money was looking for one "in training" who would be willing to do it for free or a reduced rate. It didn't feel right to just post that and not make an effort to get to know people and have them to get to know me, so I joined this room - I think aside from a post in the BFing support room I don't think I've ventured elsewhere. Unfortunately, the doula thing didn't pan out, but I guess I'm still here...

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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#26 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 10:45 AM
 
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Compared to so many mothers I know, I'm crunchy. I get "the look" when I BFd my preschooler, when I used cloth diapers, when everyone heard we co-sleep. I still hear a lot about the "risk" I'm taking using a midwife (province-regulated!) and how I'm setting up the baby for bad habits not setting up a crib (gee, my 4-year-old sleeps in her bed, in her room, all night now, with no CIO - you'd think the proof was in the pudding that it works for our family!). I'm only having 1 ultrasound.

And yet, on MDC, and with some "internet" friends, I'm sooo mainstream. Gasp - I have used a stroller! I'm giving birth in a hospital (why on EARTH would I want to do that! - Answer - because I have no interest in having a home birth. Case closed.). I have no particular interest in doing anything with my placenta - although I've wondered this time about burying it in the yard - haven't told DH about that yet . And worst of all, according to one friend, my baby will, in fact, wear some polyester (fleece sleepers ). I'm also getting the H1N1 shot. And I had an ultrasound

I've kind of found my place and it's almost funny to me now how I can be perceived SO differently depending on who I'm talking to.

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#27 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 11:09 AM
 
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Why does calcium help??? I take my calcium/D in the mornings and my prenatal and iron at night... Shoudl I swap that? I normally eat yogurt in the mroning so I don't want to take the iron in the morning.
Why does it help? Okay, truthfully, I can't remember at all right now. ((Help, someone else?)) I just remember reading a little about it, trying it, and it working.

The reason for taking iron at night, though, is that it is usually less upsetting to your stomach that way, if you are sensitive to it. You can take it at other times if it doesn't bother you, but you're supposed to have 2-3 hours between consumption of iron and calcium.

I'm aiming for 1200mg of calcium per day, and I'm getting 600 of that from my supplement; I don't eat a lot of dairy. Someone better with dairy probably doesn't need the supplement.

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#28 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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I made a big mistake this morning. After too many people made comments about my lack of weigh-ins I let my curiosity get the better of me and looked.

And knew exactly why I had intentionally avoided it thus far. I was freaked out by the number on the scale and now I'm afraid that I'm going to let it become an obsession and I won't be able to eat a bite without thinking of it. I'm scared I'm going to make bad choices that could hurt my baby so I can fit into major medical's idea of what I am "supposed" to gain instead of trusting my body to gain what it needs, even if it's more than I'm "supposed" to.

I was so confident that if I made good food choices and exercised, my body would do what it needs to do for the baby. Now I'm completely confused and scared.

I'm throwing it out today.

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#29 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 02:43 PM
 
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I was so confident that if I made good food choices and exercised, my body would do what it needs to do for the baby. Now I'm completely confused and scared.

I'm throwing it out today.
I struggle with it too . Just keep thinking the way you were. All of those pounds are going to feed your baby (now or when you are breastfeeding). It's healthy to gain weight when pregnant if your body needs it.

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#30 of 85 Old 10-27-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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I made a big mistake this morning. After too many people made comments about my lack of weigh-ins I let my curiosity get the better of me and looked.
It is SOOOO hard seeing those numbers rapidly rising! I am trying really hard to let go but am also having a difficult time. Doesn't help to have my mom ask, after every appt, so...how much have you gained? I've gained enough! Actually, my sis yelled at her the last time she heard her ask, so she hasn't asked since. With my mom, my sis's and I have always been too skinny or a little on the heavy side. She's got issues with weight, passed to her from her mom! I've tried really hard in my life not to comment on weight although internally I certaintly keep tabs on myself. Glad I don't have any girls to pass that onto

: mama to 3 sweet boys, 10/21/03, 2/23/07 and 1/20/10
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