Weekly chat thread Dec 14th- Dec 20 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-14-2009, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:49 AM
 
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One week closer...planning a major stocking trip at the grocery today.

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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Old 12-14-2009, 12:44 PM
 
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I cannot believe I have seven weeks to go! It really feels like I was just excited about being seven weeks! I am starting to really feel like the baby is bigger. Lots of stretching and rolling with not as many kicks as before, he is still active, just a little more squished. Now that I am out of school, I am needing to make a list for my baby shower. Instead of a registry I am making a list of things that we really need and putting on it where people can find it. I know this is a little presumptive and we will also have the option of a giftcard if people don't want to go to the hassle. It is exciting to finally get some time to get baby stuff together. However, the holidays sure do creep up on you! I have a little more than a week to make everyone's presents! I will be busy busy busy but it sure beats studying! Hope everyone is doing well, I sure missed these posts the past couple of weeks!

married to my love , in love with MJ born 1/18/10 and PJ born 4/6/12 waterbirth.jpg and now due with a surprise 11/14!
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Old 12-14-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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Holidays sure do creep up! Oh boy I just saw a friend post that there's 11 days to go until Christmas! Eeek!!!

I am trying to pretend I'm not pregnant for a couple more weeks to get through the holiday stuff, and then it's major nesting, man.

Suddenly this morning I freaked out about the fact that I'm going to be delivering a baby soon. I'm not sure why - I've done it before, it was a good delivery, no reason to be freaked. So why am I?

Perdita - newly SAHM to DD July/05 & DS Feb/10 joy.gif
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Old 12-14-2009, 01:49 PM
 
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I think I freak out somewhat because I know how difficult it is with a newborn - it's not all cuddles and baby snuggles if you KWIM...

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:22 PM
 
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I think I freak out somewhat because I know how difficult it is with a newborn - it's not all cuddles and baby snuggles if you KWIM...
Totally. I'm nervous and also excited not to be as stressed out by every little thing as the first time. I don't know what we'll do if #2 also is colicky. We have friends who have had their second colicky baby recently. It sort of burst my bubble. I was thinking: how likely is it you could have 2 like that?
At least now I really have absorbed the fact that it was not my fault and that babies DO cry and sometimes there isn't much you can do except try to be there for them. In retrospect I was PPD and this time I think I'll be able to recognize it sooner. Silver linings. Silver linings. Also, just knowing how FANTASTIC they are and how much we will love these babies! I can't wait to meet this little person- I'm getting really excited.

DD's Christmas presents from our natural toy store arrived today. I got her an Ostheimer baby and crib to go with her Ostheimer family as well as some other small wooden toys. My mother also sent the Grinch and Charlie Brown's Christmas DVD's- all came today (I allow DD a DVD session while I make dinner- she knows she gets some TV and there is a limit and no commercial breaks- it's the best I could do while I still have control ) . We still haven't decided what we're making for our special dinner, but at least DH already made his pudding and talked to the butcher about our options. I was feeling guilty I didn't buy her a talking Iggle Piggle doll after she went to a party this weekend and saw another kid's. My mom said: "it sounds like someone needs and Iggle Piggle." and I said she didn't, esp. since we'd already bought her gifts. I feel less guilty today when she said with the same conviction that she "loved" a water bottle and kissed it.

Maggie, American expat, mother to DD1 5/27/2007 and DD2 2/15/2010
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:30 PM
 
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I think I freak out somewhat because I know how difficult it is with a newborn - it's not all cuddles and baby snuggles if you KWIM...
I'm not sure I've even got THAT far! It's just the L&D I'm thinking about...

It's ridiculous really. It took 3 IVF tries to get pg, and I've BEEN pg for 31 weeks. Suddenly I'm thinking "woah - I'm going to have a baby". You'd think I'd have got that internalized by now!

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Old 12-14-2009, 02:48 PM
 
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When I was getting ready to start pushing with my second baby, I started crying about how scared I was. The nurse was like "it's ok, why are you crying? You have done this before." I was just like I don't know I'm just scared. I don't think the fear of L&D ever goes away. I'm gonna be scared to death with this one too.

I'm Valerie bfinfant.gif wife to a United States Navy sailor, mom to Audreygeek.gif(6/01), Lydiathumbsuck.gif(4/08)   Jethrobabyf.gif(1/10) and Vivian babygirl.gif (6/11) novaxnocirc.gifcd.gif

 
 
 
    

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Old 12-14-2009, 03:16 PM
 
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I am really getting frustrated with some "lactavists" on another one of my forums today. No offense to anyone who considers themselves a "lactavist" - but so many of the ones I've run across online seem to be of the mindset that every woman can BF and those that don't either gave up too easily, didn't try hard enough, or are too stupid to realize how much better BFing is than FFing.

Don't get me wrong, I can understand feeling passionate about something. But being a mom that has constantly had to struggle with BFing and CAN'T BF beyond 6 months (trust me, we've tried everything, even prescription drugs don't work for me) who is also pregnant and hormonal right now...it really gets me down.

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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Old 12-14-2009, 05:32 PM
 
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Don't get me wrong, I can understand feeling passionate about something. But being a mom that has constantly had to struggle with BFing and CAN'T BF beyond 6 months (trust me, we've tried everything, even prescription drugs don't work for me) who is also pregnant and hormonal right now...it really gets me down.
I can understand that... I am actually SO nervous I won't be able to breast feed at all. No reason that I feel this way it is just something I want to do SO badly that it scares the bejesus out of me that it won't happen...

A lot of my friends aim for 6 months and a lot of them stop then bc the baby stops nighttime feeding which dwindles there supply. I think if you do what you can that is the best you can do.

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Old 12-14-2009, 05:32 PM
 
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I'm all for bf'ing, but also understand that for some women it is really difficult. I even knew a woman whose milk actually never came in. No colostrum either. The docs didn't believe her and her daughter almost died of dehydration.

I don't celebrate Christmas, but I couldn't believe it when my husband said it was next week. Where is the time going?

I worry about bringing the girls home...my son was a VERY VERY easy baby. Never spit up, no problems bf'ing, no problems going from bottle to breast and back, slept through the night at 14 weeks, no colic, no issues with solid food when we got that far... I"m totally screwed now. Ha. I don't even know what a more 'typical' baby looks like, never mind preemies who tend to be more difficult on average anyway...

Still going to the hospital daily to visit the girls. They are doing quite well: Tzelia is completely off IV nutrition and is only getting fortified breast milk. Meorah is off the CPAP again and we'll see how she does.

I am dealing with horrible horrible edema. My feet actually hurt they are so swollen. my husband looked at them yesterday and made me go put on some compression stockings. My c-section recovery is taking much longer this time, probably because I'm more active than I was after my son...for him, I just sat on the couch all day and breastfed. Now I'm running back and forth to the hospital, making sure I pump every 2-3 hours, barely sleeping to be sure I can pump...oy.
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Old 12-14-2009, 05:50 PM
 
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Hugs NicoleS, do realize that even just 6 weeks of breast milk for your baby will provide life long benefits, you should be proud of getting to six months with all of your effort! Like I am literally in awe of all of the women who try soooo hard against such huge obstacles! I guess I would consider myself a lactavist but not if it means I have to be discouraging to women who have tried so hard. It comes down to a choice for some and for others there is no choice. Guess I am just saying that sucks and don't let them get you down!
Zevy, awesome that your babes are making so much progress, I hope the edema goes away soon, that sounds painful!

married to my love , in love with MJ born 1/18/10 and PJ born 4/6/12 waterbirth.jpg and now due with a surprise 11/14!
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Old 12-14-2009, 06:02 PM
 
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I know what you mean about people that take things too far. I really hope I can breastfeed, and I plan to do everything to ensure it works out. But I still know that it doesn't work for everyone and I would never judge someone that is making the best, informed choice for their family in addition to those that just physically CAN'T....

heading towards 30 weeks! I still can't get over the fact that I have to go to appts. every 2 weeks. It feels like I was just there!

I can really tell I'm slowing down physically. My MIL came to vist this past weekend and I had to clean up in preparation and it seriously took me forever and I huffed and puffed up and down the stairs to the basement. She was actually really helpful, she cleaned my floors and dusted everything. We are having a holiday party this Thursday with about 25 friends over. It seemed like a good idea 4 weeks ago when we sent out the invites, but it was seriously starting to stress me out, but my MIL's help makes me feel a lot better about it.

All that said.... it's still really stressful to have another person living in "our" house and I really don't know how I'm going to handle her visit after the baby is born. She was really presuring us to come up with a time for her to visit and I said at least 2 weeks after the birth (if she had her way she would come as soon as the baby is born, if not before so she can be there for the birth). I hope this works out.

She also let us select our own gifts and I picked out an ergo - the local shop had the new grey one with the stars. I love it!
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Old 12-14-2009, 06:51 PM
 
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[All that said.... it's still really stressful to have another person living in "our" house and I really don't know how I'm going to handle her visit after the baby is born. She was really presuring us to come up with a time for her to visit and I said at least 2 weeks after the birth (if she had her way she would come as soon as the baby is born, if not before so she can be there for the birth). I hope this works out.![/QUOTE]

If she is a reasonably helpful person, I think this is a good plan. I'm really sad we won't have the help this time around. My parents will come over and that will be great. Last time I could barely wait for them to come. My sister was a great help and I wish she were coming now. Even the in-laws, who aren't the most helpful, helped in their small ways and I was glad for it. They don't plan on coming this time. I guess with us being so far away and all. It sounds like it will be good for your helpful MIL to come help.

Maggie, American expat, mother to DD1 5/27/2007 and DD2 2/15/2010
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Old 12-14-2009, 07:46 PM
 
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Well, I can honestly say that even with this being #5, I'm still nervous about labor & birth. You just never know what's going to happen.

Needy newborns I can do. My first was a total handful, vomited ALL THE TIME. Not little bouts of spitting up but practically projectile vomiting after every feeding. And he just wouldn't sleep & (really, I could go on and on) The next three were so surprisingly easy after him. But I always think, okay, this one may be like the first, prepare yourself!

My MIL comes tonight, the house is almost spotless, and I'm burning a lovely smelling candle that my eldest gave me as an early Christmas present. So, I'm feeling much less grumpy than I was last night.

Kat

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Old 12-14-2009, 08:33 PM
 
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When I was getting ready to start pushing with my second baby, I started crying about how scared I was. The nurse was like "it's ok, why are you crying? You have done this before." I was just like I don't know I'm just scared. I don't think the fear of L&D ever goes away. I'm gonna be scared to death with this one too.
Same here!! While I didn't cry while pushing w/ my first, I was freaked out beyond belief of what was going on. Hopefully, I'll be calmer this time around and the labor won't be as long. I think that had something to do with it as well - I was in labor for 17 hours w/ DS.

I just reached 29 weeks and am starting to freak a little bit, too - getting the room ready, the house ready, prepping bags for the hospital and DS's overnight stay at G&G's. Mentally preparing myself for what's to come, etc., etc., It is nice to know what to expect this time around, but each baby is different - I hope and pray he's as good as DS was - no colic, good eater, sleeper, etc.,

One happy mama to 1/06 , 3/10 , and married to my best friend
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:38 PM
 
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I am really getting frustrated with some "lactavists" on another one of my forums today. No offense to anyone who considers themselves a "lactavist" - but so many of the ones I've run across online seem to be of the mindset that every woman can BF and those that don't either gave up too easily, didn't try hard enough, or are too stupid to realize how much better BFing is than FFing.

Don't get me wrong, I can understand feeling passionate about something. But being a mom that has constantly had to struggle with BFing and CAN'T BF beyond 6 months (trust me, we've tried everything, even prescription drugs don't work for me) who is also pregnant and hormonal right now...it really gets me down.
I hear ya, mama. I was only able to nurse DS for 3 months. It was a real struggle for me to get passed the fact that I was no longer able to physically nourish my baby and had to supplement with formula. I felt like a complete failure. I just hope things are different this time around. I strongly believe that this all led to prolonged PPD - I just hated myself.

One happy mama to 1/06 , 3/10 , and married to my best friend
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:50 PM
 
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Same here!! While I didn't cry while pushing w/ my first, I was freaked out beyond belief of what was going on.
I wonder if I'm going to react like this. My mother told me that with her third (me!), when she hit transition she stood up and said "I'm out of here, I'm not doing this" and tried to leave the room! Of course, she was fine once I emerged, but I can just see myself doing something similarly nutty.

grateful mama to DD1, born before the robins came, 2010.  excited to welcome a little man into the world in early February 2012! kid.gif

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Old 12-14-2009, 09:47 PM
 
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Wow-talkative new thread today!

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I can understand that... I am actually SO nervous I won't be able to breast feed at all. No reason that I feel this way it is just something I want to do SO badly that it scares the bejesus out of me that it won't happen...
I'm really nervous about this too. Especially since I'm pretty much putting all my eggs in this basket-I don't know what we'd do if we had to budget for formula in addition to everything else. Not to mention that since I'll be out of the house a decent amount of time with school, I don't think I could put forth as much effort if something went wrong.

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I wonder if I'm going to react like this. My mother told me that with her third (me!), when she hit transition she stood up and said "I'm out of here, I'm not doing this" and tried to leave the room! Of course, she was fine once I emerged, but I can just see myself doing something similarly nutty.
I can see me doing that, too.

I got a few diapers in the mail from the Zannadu sale today. They are so soft and adorable. I'm just about done with my newborn stash. Just need to get the prefolds!

Kara: on a journey with DH, Mama to DS 2/2010
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Old 12-14-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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Anyone else looking forward to giving birth? I love love love birthing! It is so magical and transforming!

: mama to 3 sweet boys, 10/21/03, 2/23/07 and 1/20/10
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Old 12-15-2009, 12:54 AM
 
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sorry mtnmoonmama. I'm in the same boat as most of the previous posts. I'm TERRIFIED of L&D. I'm also pretty scared of bfing. I'm scared that I won't be able to or that I'll meet some obstacle I wasn't expecting and really struggle with it. I'm actually most scared that I'll HATE bfing I'm not sure why on that one. I guess the...sensation (not sure of the word choice) that I imagine is not something I want. Hopefully it won't feel like I think it will and I'll be able to do it without any problems.

For L&D-I don't know if anything has ever scared me more in life! Right now I'm really trying to figure out if I'm going to get an epidural. I've heard that, without one, you're able to listen to your body more (feel when to push, etc). Is that the case? I know there's a few of you who have had the epi with one or more births and then not had it for another. What differences were there? I think I have a very low pain threshold, so not getting one terrifies me, but I kind of want to feel what's going on with my body... so confused!

Mama to Jack (2/14/10) and Madi (2/14/12) luxlove.gif my Valentine's babies!

 

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Old 12-15-2009, 01:25 AM
 
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The thought of giving birth doesn't particularly scare me, but I can't say that I'm looking forward to it either. Interested maybe - every single one of my births has been different, despite some similarities...so it should be interesting how this one plays out.

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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Old 12-15-2009, 01:49 AM
 
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I'm not scared of L&D at all. Right after DD was born (13 hours of labour, almost 4 of pushing!) I told DH "I can do this again". I'm just not in the headspace yet that I'm going to be doing it in give or take 8 weeks... !! Christmas plus work is taking up all of my cognitive resources right now.

marcib - Before DD was born, I was pretty ambivalent towards nursing. The thought actually made me a little uncomfortable and I wasn't sure I'd want to do it. It didn't quite gross me out - but I was on that wavelength. I knew I would "at least for a while" because, well, it was the right thing to do. But I didn't think I'd enjoy it. And I read everything I could about it, watched Dr. Newman's videos, lurking on bf-ing boards so that at least in theory I knew what I was doing. It worked, and she latched and it was fine. At 4 months, a friend came over with her (weaned) 2-year-old and I told DH afterwards "can you believe that some people nurse until their kids are THAT big??"

Well.. DD nursed until she was 3.5. That was definitely not planned and I think I would have run screaming if you'd told me that before she was born! It just kind of... snuck up on me. And I never absolutely loved it. I never had that "connected to all mothers" thing, or got the goopy feelings. But... if felt like it was right. The funny thing is, here I am about to bf again, a year after DD weaned, and I can't imagine nursing a 3yo!! LOL!

All this to say... don't panic too much about it. Sometimes things do just work out.

Perdita - newly SAHM to DD July/05 & DS Feb/10 joy.gif
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Old 12-15-2009, 03:15 AM
 
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Thanks Perdita! I don't know why it makes me so nervous. When I shower and go to get out the tiny bit of white build-up in there, it just makes me that much more nervous. It just feels weird to have anything there. That's actually the biggest turn-off for me when I think about DTD I don't even want DH touching there. My nipples just feel different, and not good different. I hope that changes enough once baby's here to allow me to feel good about it (bc I'm determined to do it for a while at least)!!

Mama to Jack (2/14/10) and Madi (2/14/12) luxlove.gif my Valentine's babies!

 

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Old 12-15-2009, 12:17 PM
 
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Thanks Perdita! I don't know why it makes me so nervous. When I shower and go to get out the tiny bit of white build-up in there, it just makes me that much more nervous. It just feels weird to have anything there. That's actually the biggest turn-off for me when I think about DTD I don't even want DH touching there. My nipples just feel different, and not good different. I hope that changes enough once baby's here to allow me to feel good about it (bc I'm determined to do it for a while at least)!!
Yes. I totally get this. After the initial adjustment, your nipples stretch more and you are able to tolerate more contact. It's a funny thing- I guess it's the oxytocin or something but it became less annoying and I felt warmer towards the baby. I didn't want my DH to touch me at all there until she weaned, which is slightly neurotic perhaps. Good news is it passed and I got my boobs back. For awhile, anyway. DD weaned only 2 mos before I was pg again. NEVER thought in a million years I would have bf'ed until 22 mos, but time just passed that way and I didn't want to end the relationship traumatically.
I'm grateful it worked out as well as it did, b/c I too was convinced I wouldn't be able to or that my supply would diminish, etc. I was pressured by the health visitors here to supplement, but it was b/c they were using growth charts from bottle fed babies. As long as the baby is healthy and growing, it's OK.

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Old 12-15-2009, 12:25 PM
 
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I nursed my first to age 3 -- was waiting for her to self-wean, but it didn't happen, and I was TIRED of it! Nursed my second to 12 months -- she DID self-wean, but mostly because I was working full-time. At age 2.5, she is still addicted to a pacifier, so I feel like she needed to nurse longer. Third and final baby gets to nurse as long as he/she wants. Okay, unless it's past age 3; I'm pretty sure I'm going to want to be able to wear one-piece dresses again after three years!

Midwife appt yesterday. Measuring 28cm at 31 weeks...Growth is steady, but staying on the small side. I don't like it. Want more growth!

Did a lot of shopping/walking last week. Didn't have pain, but became exhausted, and realized that particular exhaustion is what I feel when I am dilating! Laying down and drinking water helps every time, though. More than once, I've been dilated to around 4, and laid down and drank water, and an hour later was totally back to 0/1. CRAZY! I never checked this kind of thing with my other pregnancies; it's fascinating. Also, TOTALLY will be going for a long walk in labor if it helps me dilate without pain!

Contractions only come at night or with stress, and they are erratic and usually weak. They've been freaking me out, but my midwife said it's okay because they always go away when I work on them (baths, WATER, sleep).

Still not sleeping at night -- the hormones are just so strong for me in the third trimester; I can't shut my brain off. I wants me Zoloft! Why do I still have to see a shrink before I can get the same stuff I was on last pregnancy? Shouldn't easy Zoloft be one of the benefits of living in South America?!

Tamara: Aspiring doula, partner to Brazilian musician, mom to THREE GIRLIES!
(4/01, 6/07, & 12/09)
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Old 12-15-2009, 01:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good morning I am feeling happy today.
I am going to go get some much needed exercise right now. It has been so cold here and I have felt so super lazy that I have not been doing much- but I am going to do a walk right now.
Last night my baby was moving around so much for hours and hours- in a really good way, and it just gave me this really happy feeling to feel all that life force in me.
Have a good day everyone and everyone's little one growing within.
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Old 12-15-2009, 03:59 PM
 
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another appt. down yesterday. My glucose test numbers were great, and everything else looked good except my weight (4lbs in a little less than 2 weeks). I think that *might* be able to be somewhat explained by severe constipation YUCK! My usual fiber filled diet isn't doing the trick anymore and I really need to consider a softner. I'm nervous that might be too much of a shock to my system, but I think it's necessary. MW suggested taking 1 pill (Colace) everynight for 3 nights. I bought it, but didn't take it last night.

I don't think I'm scared of birth - I'm really interested to see how it goes. My mom is really the only person I have talked about labor with in depth and she loved giving birth, so I think I have always had a pretty good perspective to counterbalance all the people that try to tell me how horrible/painful/scary it is.

I'm just really nervous about the hospital experience. I have never stayed in a hospital overnight, and I am really anxious about the staff that will be there. I do really like the 2 midwives that I go to, but I don't know what nurse I will have and that scares me. I'm still really sad I won't be birthing at home - I thought that would get better by now, but it is still a really emotional subject for me. Hopefully the birth class will help in lots of ways, including working on my mindset.
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:02 PM
 
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Just got back from an appt. All is going as smooth as a baby's bottom. Speaking of which, when my OB was feeling around on my belly for the baby, she felt that he was head down and felt a soft bottom at the top of my belly!

I've gained 2lbs in 2 weeks, measuring spot on. I asked if I was going to have another U/S between now and 'then' and she said that they will make an excuse to have one - so that we can see the baby and so that she can get an idea of the weight.

So, as far as being scared of L&D, I'm not at all. I think it's because I've BTDT. I'll get scared if something doesn't go as planned or go as smoothly as it did with DS. But no sense in working myself up before then.

And regarding the 'sensation' part of BF'ing - I had thought about that, too, before I started nursing DS and it is NOTHING like what you think it will be. Sure, it feels weird at first - but then so, so natural after you and the baby get the hang of it.

One happy mama to 1/06 , 3/10 , and married to my best friend
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:21 PM
 
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I'm another who looks forward to giving birth. I'm trying not to look forward to it too much - I don't want my cervix to get any ideas until full term! Sunday I was really uncomfortable again, and the old "am I having too many contractions" worry started back up, but I once again just had to drink more water than a fish, and then I felt better. You would think I would learn, but I just never remember to drink. I'm sitting here right now with no water on my desk, bad me.

I still don't have my linea nigra! I don't remember when it showed up in my first pregnancy, and it looks like I never wrote it down, but I had a nice dark one. This time, there's hardly the faintest of lines. I kind of miss it... but maybe it's a girl this time or something?

I can't decide if 9-10 more weeks is a scary short amount of time to get everything done, or if it's forever.

Over the last few days, the baby has started doing something different - some kind of squirming way down in my pelvis that hurts! I think I remember this from the first pregnancy - this morning I got the same weird zinging feeling in my cervix that I started getting at Thanksgiving the first time (January baby that time, so I'm right on schedule). I keep waiting for things to feel different so I will believe that maybe this one won't be breech. The midwife says head-down, but I can't quite convince myself yet.
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