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Weekly chat thread Jan 18- Jan 24

4K views 106 replies 31 participants last post by  jul511riv 
#1 ·
Another week!
 
#52 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by jul511riv View Post
Homeopathic remedy pullisitila...acupuncture with moxa stick buring over the toe...external version (In Israel there is a 70% success rate with this alone...as I explained to my sil in the past, that means that 7 out of 10 women walk in with a breech and walk out with a head down baby that STAYS head down for the birth)...or find someone who is totally happy, ready, and willing to do a breech birth. It's not like breeches (even unassisted, homebirthed...) haven't been done before with AMAZING success!!! Relax and realize that babies turn and spin all the time, even in labor. One of my closest friends was a breech right up until a few hours into her mother's labor with her...then she flipped to head down and came right out. Visualization...every night, without fail... Have a beer or a glass of wine. Relax. If baby could flip now then baby can flip tomorrow...obviously there is enough room. Relax, breathe. It will be okay.
The issue with baby being breech is my midwife won't touch the birth with a ten foot pool. Which means I'm doomed to a c-section. Otherwise I wouldn't even be bothered.

Hopefully the ultrasound will be free and clear (no major entanglement or anything) and I can worry less.

I'm half tempted to do it at home even if she stays breech and then just call the midwife after...
 
#54 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by jul511riv View Post

Okay, 3 main points here...
1. you can look up different folds online...just pop it into google and see what you come up with.

Duh! That tells you how sleep deprived I am--that totally didn't cross my mind. Actually, I just looked at Google videos. I still think I have a learning curve--practice makes perfect! I will start washing all of the boys CD together. We use planet detergent, and it works well. I just wish we could dry outside b/c I think I still have an odor with the bumgenius and hope that the prefolds don't get that odor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jul511riv View Post
2.Are you able to nurse Felix in a different position, like semi sitting? My friend used to have this problem with her baby and she would sit on the floor cross-legged and put the baby in the space between her legs so that the baby was in a sitting/standing position and would nurse her that way. Really helped with the air/colic/reflux issues she was dealing with. It sounds more akward than it is. But toy around with it and give it a little time to work...do a few feeds like that and see if you don't notice (or hear) some changes.
I have experimented today and think holding him upright helps--it isn't a ton better...but every little bit! The thing is that to calm him, he likes to nurse, but that just creates more gas!!! It's a vicious cycle.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jul511riv View Post
3. Oh man, I feel like I"m a total pro at going from 1 to 2 kids. And here's why (cause I know Im not the ONLY mama on here with more than one kid)...becaues it was HELL HELL HELL for me! HELL, I tell you. HELL!!!!! lol...but not really lol.

First of all, my first "baby" didn't start sleeping through the night until she was 3 years old. It happened pretty quickly after that but the whole time I was looking around at my other friends and they were like "yeah, my baby's been sleeping through the night since ___________fill in arbitrary age here." And it totally killed me. I was so sleep deprived.


I think the important thing to note here is that, first of all, every kid is different, but also to note that once a sibling enters the picture, all of the problems get exaserbated...and this can go on for weeks or months or even longer. My wonderful, perfect, charming and amazing dd became absolutely murderous when ds was born...first it started with her indifference towards the baby. A bit scared and apprehensive (and she was WELL PREPARED for the baby, but she was also 2 months shy of 2 years old at the time...) and then that quickly became rage. Whenever I would sit to nurse ds, dd would come up and just attack him. Scratch him in the eyes, face. I remember his face totally bloodied and bleeding when he was 2 weeks old from an attack. It was awful. I would ask my friends what to do and they said "well, just keep him in a sling." But I DID keep him in a sling, except when I needed to SIT and nurse or use the toilet. My one friend said I should never sit and always stand and nurse in the sling and use the toilet with him in a sling. At the time I had this teeny tiny bathroom and I just couldn't do it. I was in tears every day because I was trying to be on my feet and I was so tired and NEEDED to sit, but as soon as I sat, dd would be right there.

Then she got really smart and realized that she could just throw things at him even when I was standing. She would get the remote control, a book, antyhing hard and throw it at his head when I was wearing him. Of course, then I got that I was wearing him too much and making her jealous so I needed to put him down and pick her up more. Which I did...but she wasn't interested. As soon as I'd put him down, she wouldn't want to be in my lap, and she'd be at him in a flash totally attacking him. I got high tables and portable cribs to put him in for when I used the bathroom or made us food...she would just throw things at him over and over...it was really terrible. And it was so SO hard.

Anyways, between that and the sleep deprividation (which it sounds like is what you are going through...and we coslept with dd until about halfway through the pregnancy when she got her own "big girl bed" that she loved, but she was ALWAYS welcome to come and sleep with us whenever she wanted and we also coslept with ds for the first couple of years, until we transitioned him to a bed...) I was loosing my mind. I found two things that really helped.

1. Some neighborhood girls came by to visit and totally fawned all over dd. Then they asked if they could take her to the park by themselves. DD was just 2 years old at the time and I was so nervous, but I let her go....and it was SOOO good for her. See, we have no family here and the kids are homeschooled and this was an opportunity for her to just have some private one on one time with someone ELSE who just thought the world of her and wasn't at all interested in taking her brother to the park, but still thought her brother was really interesting and cute. This was exactly the thing she needed to regain her sense of self worth.
2. I went to a councelor who's specialty was helping parents with their "problem" children. I went crying to her house with my husband. And here's what she told me..." somewhere along the way, your dd got the idea that to get your love and attention, she needs to do these rotten things. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT and YOU DID NOT CAUSE THIS. It was a miswiring in her brain that somehow caused this belief to happen. For your part, your daughter is a really great and perfect kid. Menatlly focus on that and make an effort to stop feeling helpless with just one action that she does when she does it. For example, if you are feeling most helpless when she hits her brother (or wakes up at 4 am....or whatever) work on getting your mental response to not be feeling helpless. Detach your emotional responce from it and just calmly remind her that we do not hit...remove her from the situation, if need be, and just go right on with your day.

So I began saying things like (phrase things in the positive) "we go pee pee in the potty" "night time is for sleeping" "we touch gently." and pretty soon thereafter, things got a heck of a lot better.

I can say now, that at age almost 5 and 3, those two are two peas in a pod and I can't imagine them ever being apart. They are the best of friends and confidants. They dance, sing and play together. They read stories to one another. DD is so gentle and kind (most of the time) and so is DS and it's like that first year never happened.

In retrospect, I realize that giving the kids a sibling was the best thing I ever did and I can only hope that some of this will help as we add a third child to th emix....but I'm still waiting for some confirmation from some of the more experienced mamas on the list about this one.


PS, that really is an invite to give me advice about going from 2 to 3.
Wow--what sage advice. THANK YOU! You have such great experience to pull from and have given me hope! I think I'll start trying to change my perspective...it is just hard at 4am when you have been up since 10pm with a gassy preemie and you hear your 20 month old crying in the other room.
I also try to listen to other stories and remind myself I am not alone. Finally, I also know it all depends on the "tincture of time" and in a matter of months we'll be on to a new challenge, wondering how we ever survived this one!
 
#55 ·
Thanks, y'all. We have an empty apt 1 block away for him to move into. I just hope he'll go w/o first starting another nasty fight. I need the break. Not want, but need.

On to baby-care, which is one of the few things I still do well!:
I had a few thoughts --
Cloth diapering: If I add in a soaker, I find the fold doesn't have to matter so much. Although my Snappi's and covers aren't here from the US, and the safety pins (although easier when 'soaped') became so nerve-wracking that Juju is now in sposies for a bit.
Gassy baby: Nursing upright might help; I only nursed Julianna upright when we were in the hospital. Or expressing a little beforehand so the letdown isn't as strong. Also rubbing baby's tummy in an upside-down "U" from right to left. Also finding ways to let baby lay on his right side.
Toddlers: Just keep it positive. I always let my toddler 'hold' the baby when she asks, and then she'll do it for five seconds a day... She loves Juju but has realized this baby is not at all mysterious and is actually quite ugly and boring.
As for sleeping, mine needs extra cuddling at night right now. And she also sleeps more at night if she has longer naps during the day, and vice versa, so if she goes to bed late one night, it can turn into a vicious cycle for a few days.
Sleeping: I nurse Julianna almost all evening long, and usually include a cup (in Brazilian hospitals, they're big on cups instead of bottles) right before we go to bed, too. Then she'll sleep 4-5 hours, usually (especially because the lights are out and toddler is quiet, I think). We do a long nursing session when she wakes; I don't put her back down until my breasts are both feeling empty. And she'll sleep another 4-5 hours. During the day, I nurse her whenever she is awake and don't let her sleep longer than usually a two-hour stretch.
 
#56 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ficus View Post
I hope you and your husband can work through the dissonance and settle at a place of more peace--whether or not that means staying together or separating is not for anyone else to predict. Just know you have a whole host of women thinking of you.
.'"
Very well said.
s Tamara

Ficus - I am familiar with the vicious gas/nurse cycle. You may already be doing some of these, but here's what helped my DS: keep baby upright for 30 min after nursing. You might try some food elimination, dairy and wheat are some of the more common offenders... As for calming the gassy baby, bouncing on a yoga ball did wonders! Rocking was not enough, bouncing on the ball while twisting side-to-side worked almost every time.
 
#57 ·
Aramat, that sounds very hard, I hope things get better for you soon.

Mommy2Austin, sorry about the breech stress! Been there, done that. It worked out wonderfully for me (we went to the Farm at the last minute), and I hope it will for you too. Having had a natural breech birth, I will say that I would be much more inclined to UC a breech than to go to the hospital with one. I hope the baby just turns back again for you to save you some stress!

The home visit with my midwife is tomorrow! Eek, I still have to finish cleaning my room! But my husband cleaned our horrible dirty bathroom last night, that makes me happy.


My mom bought me a few of the new fancy BumGenius organic AIOs with snaps a few days ago! I'm all excited.
Now we have enough diapers for a few days...

I'm 36 weeks today! At least, going by my probably-less-accurate LMP due date, which I use because it's sooner.
I feel like I'm not nearly as prepared and on-the-ball as I ought to be, but for some reason I don't really care. I have a house and pool to birth in, and a few diapers, I guess we can figure out the rest of it sooner or later.
 
#58 ·
So baby just has a boney butt.

She is very much head down according to the ultrasound and everything looks perfect. No crazy cords wrapped around or anything.

I'm much relieved and happy now.
 
#59 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post
So baby just has a boney butt.

She is very much head down according to the ultrasound and everything looks perfect. No crazy cords wrapped around or anything.

I'm much relieved and happy now.
yay!


I was pretty good (and accurate) at figuring out baby's position using the belly mapping concept until about a week ago. Now everything is just a big thud, stretch, or rhythmic lurches and I get bony pokes all over the place. I really have no idea how the baby is positioned, but I'm hoping it didn't get any brilliant ideas to somersault around since it has been head down at every appointment since they started being able to determine it one way or another.
 
#60 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post
The issue with baby being breech is my midwife won't touch the birth with a ten foot pool. Which means I'm doomed to a c-section. Otherwise I wouldn't even be bothered.

Hopefully the ultrasound will be free and clear (no major entanglement or anything) and I can worry less.

I'm half tempted to do it at home even if she stays breech and then just call the midwife after...
I'm glad this turned out okay, but even if it hadn't, I would totally be tempted to do the same thing. In fact, I asked my mw about it when we first met...she was like "never had a breech, but there's a first time for everything, so I"m down." I was like "cool, cause I wasn't bout to be cut open for a breech baby...I would have gone unassited." And I totally would have.


Glad things are good, though.
 
#61 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post
So baby just has a boney butt.

She is very much head down according to the ultrasound and everything looks perfect. No crazy cords wrapped around or anything.

I'm much relieved and happy now.
So glad for you!!

I also just got back from an appointment. No ultrasound, but she says my little guy's head down and LOA (which I already knew, because I can tell he's in the same position my DD was for the last few weeks of that pregnancy), and low down. I'm 50% effaced, 1 cm dilated and everything looks good.
Good low blood pressure, weight is good, etc. I love being a good pregnant woman on paper since I'm such a grumpy, uncomfortable, complainy one in the read world.
(I'm actually not like this about most things, I swear, just pregnancy, which I just really don't like! But at least I can be proud of my charts. Ha!)
 
#62 ·
Tamara. Thinking about you.

So glad to hear about your boney butt baby, Sarah Lynn!!!

Had our midwife home visit today! Went totally smooth. Just for the record, they didn't tour my house or anything, just wanted to see that all our gear was reasonably together and in one spot (we have it all in the pack n' play in the living room, where the tub will be.) Got some good ideas - like having an extra plastic protector for one of the couches in case I want to get in and out of the tub. Had one for the mattress, but it didn't occur to me to cover the couch, too, but it makes sense.
Blood pressure was nice and normal, measuring right on schedule and baby is LOA. Oh, and GBS negative, woo-hoo! One less thing to worry about.

Now just waiting for the people ahead of us to hurry up and have their baby so we can get the dang birth pool from the midwives! I want that sucker inflated and ready to roll, like yesterday. Not that I feel like I'm gonna go anyday, but it's just one more thing on the to-do list (that's really out of my control) that I'd like to be set.
 
#63 ·
Oh! Oh! In baby care tips, I forgot to mention swaddling! We swaddled my 2nd daughter until the blankets were too small, and then we wrapped her in bath towels...until she was about a year old, I think. Even though she could get her arms out easily, swaddling put her to sleep so quickly, we never wanted to stop! They didn't swaddle at the hospital, so when we brought Juju home at 16 days old, I thought she'd hate being wrapped-up. She adjusted very quickly and sleeps much better as a burrito. Actually, same with the [homemade] Moby Wrap -- had to keep trying it until she got used to it, and now it's cool.

PS. Sarah Lynn - Yay!

PPS. NO, I'm not hiding out in the girls' room to avoid finding out what kind of mood my husband is in! Haha, ha, haha, what a silly notion!
 
#64 ·
My ankles are so swollen that I can't zip up my boots! And those were the last pair of shoes I have that fit, since I bought them big at the beginning of pregnancy. I had to run out to Walmart to buy a cheap pair of men's indoor/outdoor shoes (the only thing I could get on my feet).
 
#65 ·
I still need to catch up on all of these posts...

Hugs to Aramat... thinking of you!


Yey for non-breech babies!

I just got back from my 36 week appointment. The took my GBS swab. My cervix is "soft" but not yet dilated. She could still feel baby's head there, so he hasn't gone back to transverse. His hb was 150, which is normal for him. He is always so active! Kicked the dr for pressing on my belly. I am measuring right on time.

Tomorrow is my last day of driving an hour in to work. That will be a huge relief. That commute is tough on my bladder! I'll still be working (from home) up until a week before my due date or until I go into labor.

It's been suggested I put a shower curtain or vinyl table cloth under my fitted sheet. Is that a worthwhile purchase?
 
#66 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by punquin View Post

It's been suggested I put a shower curtain or vinyl table cloth under my fitted sheet. Is that a worthwhile purchase?
You can probably find one at the dollar store...I think only something like 1 in 10 women have their water break before they are in labor...but I was one of those 1 in 10! LOL. I have a large towel folded in half and one of those waterproof changing pads under mine "just in case"...
 
#67 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by punquin View Post
It's been suggested I put a shower curtain or vinyl table cloth under my fitted sheet. Is that a worthwhile purchase?
I'd just invest in a waterproof mattress pad now. We got one at Target that isn't at all crinkly, and with it under our regular mattress pad I never know it's there. I can't tell you how many times ours has saved our mattress--through leaking breasts, spitty baby, leaking diapers, puking baby...

Glad your commute is almost over!
 
#69 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by aramat View Post
PPS. NO, I'm not hiding out in the girls' room to avoid finding out what kind of mood my husband is in! Haha, ha, haha, what a silly notion!

(((hugs))) glad you aren't doing THAT!


Just take it easy on yourself, okay? You are a big girl and you can handle your own weight around. xoxo

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicoleS View Post
My ankles are so swollen that I can't zip up my boots! And those were the last pair of shoes I have that fit, since I bought them big at the beginning of pregnancy. I had to run out to Walmart to buy a cheap pair of men's indoor/outdoor shoes (the only thing I could get on my feet).

heh. I've been wearing sandles since, well, summer. Granted, it's not Ohio snowy weather here, but it is awfully wet with hail and stuff. I just mostly stay inside the house or car. No other shoes.
 
#70 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren31 View Post
ANyone else getting nervous that their baby is totally tiny!? All of these ladies are having 8 lb babys like two-three weeks early!!! My baby is only measuring about 6 lbs 4 oz at 37 weeks!! Is there something I am doing wrong???
No Way!!! You still have 3 weeks left, which on average equals another 1.5 pounds! No worries!!! All babies are different!
 
#71 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by punquin View Post
It's been suggested I put a shower curtain or vinyl table cloth under my fitted sheet. Is that a worthwhile purchase?
Yes, very much worth it! If not for your water breaking for afterward. After delivering my son I had two weeks worth of night sweats, losing all the water I retained---I'm talking drenched!!!
 
#72 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by NicoleS View Post
My ankles are so swollen that I can't zip up my boots! And those were the last pair of shoes I have that fit, since I bought them big at the beginning of pregnancy. I had to run out to Walmart to buy a cheap pair of men's indoor/outdoor shoes (the only thing I could get on my feet).

I can pretty much only wear my winter boots unzipped or a pair of mary jane tennis shoes that I bought on clearance. Hopefully it doesn't snow much more or I will have snow all over my feet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren31 View Post
ANyone else getting nervous that their baby is totally tiny!? All of these ladies are having 8 lb babys like two-three weeks early!!! My baby is only measuring about 6 lbs 4 oz at 37 weeks!! Is there something I am doing wrong???
My sister's kids were both just over 6# at birth at full term, nothing wrong with that. Sounds like your little one will be well within the normal range at birth.

I'm starting to feel exhausted all the time again. Had a major blowup with my mom Monday night, found out our insurance still hasn't made a decision about covering our midwife on Tuesday, so spent a lot of time crying and very emotional this week. Yesterday was much calmer, but then I had contractions all afternoon. Ick....I'm sure they were just BH, but I hope I don't sit around contracting for weeks before baby comes.
 
#73 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren31 View Post
ANyone else getting nervous that their baby is totally tiny!? All of these ladies are having 8 lb babys like two-three weeks early!!! My baby is only measuring about 6 lbs 4 oz at 37 weeks!! Is there something I am doing wrong???
Don't worry about it! If I remember correctly "average" birth weight is 7.5 pounds. I was a measly 5 lbs 11 oz born at 38 weeks. Didn't stunt my growth any!
Remember, unless you have a medical condition that would affect baby's size (like GD or IUGR) a lot of it is genetics at this point. I get to be in the "lucky" club of big babies (estimating this "little" guy is probably around 9 pounds now that I am 38 weeks, as that is what his brother was and he measured similarly) - but then again neither DH nor I are "little" people - I'm 6 ft and he's 6'3". On the other hand, if you and your DH are smaller people, it would make sense you'd have a smaller baby.
 
#75 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren31 View Post
ANyone else getting nervous that their baby is totally tiny!? All of these ladies are having 8 lb babys like two-three weeks early!!! My baby is only measuring about 6 lbs 4 oz at 37 weeks!! Is there something I am doing wrong???
I obviously am (getting an u/s this morning to check baby's size). I don't think there's anything you can do about it, as long as you are gaining enough weight yourself.
 
#76 ·
6 lbs at birth is well within normal and healthy, especially for girls. Lauren, you get the worry-wort award.
Plus they gain right at the end. My daughter was born exactly average, at 7 lbs 4 oz, and I'm not anticipating a large baby this time either.

Rodeomama, hope you get everything worked out with the midwife. I spent all yesterday afternoon sitting to avoid contractions, too, although I'm pretty sure it was because I'd had an internal exam at the OB's office. Can't wait to reach the place where we'll welcome these silly things!
 
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