We are due at the same time as Michelle Duggar. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 12:51 AM
 
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Is that like... not supporting gay marraige? Or not supporting having biological children in general? Or being "opposed" to other people having more than one biological child?! My life choices are RIGHT and yours are WRONG! I mean.. uh.. "WTF?!"
Uh, no. I didn't say their choices are wrong. I said I don't support them. I highly doubt that you are supportive of every choice every human being on earth makes. I certainly am aware that there are plenty of people who don't support the choice others make to have biological children or the choice to have more than one biological child....and guess what? I support their right to believe that...just like I support the Duggars right to have 19 children. I just don't think they should do it, rights aside. This idea that we all have to support everything everyone does (as long as it's legal, I guess) lest we be labeled judgmental, is really unsophisticated and quite immature, honestly.

I strongly support equal rights for ALL people when it comes to marriage and everything else. I am assuming that YOU do not support the fight to prevent equal rights. Were we to apply your logic to your apparent non-support of such an effort, we could just as easily say, "I mean..uh..'WTF?!'" to your apparent and supposedly ill-conceived judgmentalism. We could accuse you of believing that only your choices were RIGHT and everyone else's were WRONG. So either, by your own reckoning of such things, you are judgmental and worthy of ridiculous statements like, "WTF?!" or you support people fighting against equal protection and equal rights for gay and lesbian couples. It really is that simple, I'm afraid.

At any rate, I did not enter the thread to debate about the Duggars and their enormous family. I simply wished to point out that I do not, in fact, support their decision to have a 19th child. I support their right to make that decision, but I do not support the decision itself...just as you presumably do not support the decision some have made to fight against equal rights for gay and lesbian couples.
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#32 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 12:55 AM
 
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I was just happily pointing out that I was glad that the thread was full of positive attitudes about the Duggar family. I was not saying that the whole world supports it; hence the comments about media bashing really bothering me. I'm sure plenty of people disapprove, but I would rather wish her a happy and healthy pregnancy
I certainly wish her a happy and healthy pregnancy, but I don't support their choice to have that many children. I've never even seen any media bashing of the Duggars and me disagreeing with their choices is not "bashing" them. They, I'm quite sure, would disagree with plenty of mine.
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#33 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 01:07 AM
 
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Just read the article. Don't watch the show. Wouldn't you think it would be easier to do the names if they began with different letters, like Anna, Bernard, Chloe, David, Emma, etc. etc.? BEcause when I can't remember someone's name I go through the alphabet and here Ma Duggar is all, "J... J... J..."

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#34 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 01:24 AM
 
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At any rate, I did not enter the thread to debate about the Duggars and their enormous family. I simply wished to point out that I do not, in fact, support their decision to have a 19th child.

Good for you! Right on topic, too. Oh... wait...

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#35 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 03:36 AM
 
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OK. I'll be the one to say it. I read that she is an advocate of natural childbirth, which is so great. Does she nurse those babies?

My mother nursed all of us for a year or two, and she had four kids in 8-9 years, and then another baby a few years later as her fertility began to decline. She was 40 when she had my sister (her 5th baby). And I think she had 2-3 miscarriages.

I know everyone is different, but surely I am not the only one who wonders about this. I am just saying if I had to be pregnant/nursing that much, I would lose my mind (not that I haven't after only two babies!)
yes she nurses them.For how long I don't know but ive seen her nurse the last 2 babies

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#36 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 11:53 AM
 
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Does anyone know the stats on uterine prolapse, etc? I would think most women's uterus's would have prolapsed by this point. My g'ma's did after 8 babies.

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#37 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 12:23 PM
 
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Does anyone know the stats on uterine prolapse, etc? I would think most women's uterus's would have prolapsed by this point. My g'ma's did after 8 babies.
And at what point do you need to wear Depends? Or would Kegels be enough?
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#38 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 12:39 PM
 
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Does anyone know the stats on uterine prolapse, etc? I would think most women's uterus's would have prolapsed by this point. My g'ma's did after 8 babies.

My grandma's did after 4

All I know is that after just one I take a pair of panties & pants with me everywhere I go!

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#39 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 07:37 PM
 
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Just read the article. Don't watch the show. Wouldn't you think it would be easier to do the names if they began with different letters, like Anna, Bernard, Chloe, David, Emma, etc. etc.? BEcause when I can't remember someone's name I go through the alphabet and here Ma Duggar is all, "J... J... J..."
Hilarious! I wonder if they weren't planning on having so many back then and it seemed like a good idea at the time! Your idea is great. In a few more years they would have one child for each letter of the alphabet!

Wish I could still watch the show, but we shut off our cable.

While I think it is great that their large family is working for them, I definitely want to be in Grandma mode when my littles start having children of their own! : Yep, I'm thinking that far ahead!

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#40 of 55 Old 09-04-2009, 11:45 PM
 
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The scariest thing for me to think about is having severe morning sickness and tending to even one child. I told DP that we are definitely going to have to wait for a few years until our baby is old enough to not be as toddler-needy so I can survive another round of m/s without feeling like the world's worst mama. I bow down to the mamas who have suffered and stayed at home.

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#41 of 55 Old 09-05-2009, 10:52 AM
 
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I read on the Today Show website that early in their marriage, she actually took the Pill and it made her very sick. She tried to take it after her first child, and got pregnant anyway. I think they are just insanely fertile.

Even though we use birth control (to a degree), I must say that I agree with her view that children are a gift and a blessing, and who am I to decide when and how many? I am just glad that my fertility is very delayed by nursing.

I hate pregnancy so much that I cried when I read that she had already been pregnant for 147 months of her life!

I also think they are great examples of parenting. I don't agree with all their religious views, but I think they are incredibly responsible, and the reason they are on TV is because they have so many children. So, if having all those kids gives them a platform for responsible parenting...

I am embarrassed that I originally thought she didn't nurse. : I never checked out the show until this thread! I really like that family.

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#42 of 55 Old 09-05-2009, 02:10 PM
 
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I believe she is quite modest, so you won't see many photos/videos of her nursing.
I don't know what kind of photos you'd like to see, but she nurses on the show all of the time, she is just covered up so unless you are really paying attention, you won't be able to tell what she is doing. So no, you won't see her boobs (and do you really need to?) but she nurses in public all the time. She was nursing while reading a story book to a bunch of kids at school. She nursed on a parade float with her family. I think she's great.
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#43 of 55 Old 09-06-2009, 01:38 AM
 
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The pill makes me sick, too, but frankly... there are lots of types of birth control. I personally believe it's a woman's choice and that big families are beautiful. I think of it as making up for all the people who can't have kids, or who die young. Just saying, not being able to go on the Pill is no reason to have a ton of kids. I mean... pull OUT, dude.

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#44 of 55 Old 09-06-2009, 11:12 AM
 
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It's not about birth control. Who here hasn't done something that they later became opposed to and wouldn't do after further research/education/soul searching? Their choice to not use birth control, to be quiverful, is a religious one. While it's not the right choice for me, I respect their religion and religous practices because I desire the same for me(and lack of religous practice).

Again kudos to the Duggars, and all large families, I couldn't do it.

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#45 of 55 Old 09-06-2009, 11:26 AM
 
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#46 of 55 Old 09-06-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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And those of us who choose not to use birth control have the option of limiting our families using Natural Family Planning which is very effective.

Yay for the Duggars : if they are happy with their large family.

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#47 of 55 Old 09-06-2009, 09:02 PM
 
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Lol I'd have so many kids if I left it to nature/God to decide for me. I get pregnant ON birth control for gosh sakes!

I think their kids look happy on TV. However, I do have to say that they all seem a little...brainwashed? Or I dunno...secluded? Theres no real way to know though, I dont know them in real life and whatever you see on TV cant be taken as truth. As such, I wont say anything else, although I did read in several places that they follow the Perl's teachings for childrearing. Again though, this was online and who knows if thats true or not. If it is though, it makes me sad.

As far as having that many kids, I cant imagine having so many! But, I would imagine it gets easier with so many older kids to help out and whatnot. I just couldn't do it. I wont say anything about the numbers though-the number of people who think I'm nuts and irresponsible for having 5 makes me realise that we all have our limits and judging someone else based on our personal preferences is wrong.

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#48 of 55 Old 09-06-2009, 10:35 PM
 
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I am with you on the grateful for only #4, and #4 is it for us!!!
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#49 of 55 Old 09-07-2009, 02:37 AM
 
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I actually read their book, and she exclusively nurses for as long as she can, which is usually 7 months-1 year. She regains her fertility almost immediately, gets pregnant when the nursing baby is 6-9 months old, and nurses until her milk dries up. While I am horrified by several of their parenting decisions and the impact on their children/the environment(all that laundry, circ'ing, disposable diapers, etc), they love their kids, support them and are doing what they think is best, so I'll let them be. Judge not lest ye be judged, no? They certainly do not judge anyone, and are very loving to everyone they meet, and are obviously madly in love.

Oh, and when Michelle had her last baby, her doctor commented on what great shape she was in. No prolapse or anything, Michelle is made to have babies. Personally, I'm curious to see whether she "has" to have a c-section this time. Michelle is a huge advocate of VBAC, but out of 16 pregnancies has had 3 sections (the last baby being the third). Her doctor was very supportive last time, but with this 3rd section, I'm anxious to see what her options are. She actually has had a few homebirths, all after a section, which is pretty cool.

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#50 of 55 Old 09-07-2009, 12:56 PM
 
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Yeah, I believe she said she had the first two cesareans for breach although I could be wrong. Not sure what the last one was for since I pretty much stopped following them.

Are you sure they circ? Cause yeah, that makes me sad. (Nothing personal, just how I feel about it) I just really hope that what I read about them following the Perl's was wrong cause that just makes me sick to think about.

Also, the whole BC thing had to do with the fact that she got pregnant on the pill and miscarried. The doctor told her it was because she was on the pill-I dont really know much about that, does it increase miscarriage chance?

I had never taken the pill until recently (and then got pregnant on it, haha). I used NFP and it worked fine for me, despite being very fertile. I've always gotten pregnant on the first try (or non-try) and I have one condom baby-no, it didnt break, not sure how that works-a 4 day post D&C baby (was told it'd be at least a month or two before my cycle's went back to normal), and 2 planned baby's, one on the first try and one that was concieved as soon as my cycles returned to normal. I'm one of those chicks that cant get preggo for 9 months post baby no matter what, even when I'm not nursing.

Anyway, its entirely possible for them to have fewer kids, but the point is that they dont WANT to have fewer. They see each child as a blessing and are happy about it. Its sad that more people dont have that attitude-even if its just for their 2nd or 5th or whatever. (I dont mean the whole have as many kids as you can thing-if everyone did that, we'd be horribly overpopulated!)

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#51 of 55 Old 09-07-2009, 04:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know what kind of photos you'd like to see, but she nurses on the show all of the time, she is just covered up so unless you are really paying attention, you won't be able to tell what she is doing. So no, you won't see her boobs (and do you really need to?) but she nurses in public all the time. She was nursing while reading a story book to a bunch of kids at school. She nursed on a parade float with her family. I think she's great.
Oh, I'm not that interested in seeing her nurse. I was just mentioning that I didn't think you would see/notice it because she is so modest. We gave up TV about a year ago, so I haven't seen any of the newer episodes of the show.

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#52 of 55 Old 09-07-2009, 06:41 PM
 
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They aren't extremely responsible parents to me. The older girls raise the younger ones. After the baby stops nursing and there is a new baby the older baby goes off to it's new "buddy." I just don't agree with that. I have no problem with siblings babysitting but this is extreme. The older girls also do the homeschooling, the cooking, the cleaning...the list goes on and on. Again, chores are fine but this seems extreme to me. I also disagree with the strict gender roles.

I do hope she has a happy and healthy pregnancy. I wouldn't wish anything negative on anyone.

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#53 of 55 Old 09-07-2009, 11:37 PM
 
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They aren't extremely responsible parents to me. The older girls raise the younger ones. A
I personally don't think that's irresponsible parenting. That's how most people all over the world parent. Most women, even if they only have a few children, work so much in the fields or gathering, that the child is raised by a grandparent and siblings. I think it's sweet.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#54 of 55 Old 09-08-2009, 03:25 PM
 
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Yeah, I believe she said she had the first two cesareans for breach although I could be wrong. Not sure what the last one was for since I pretty much stopped following them.

Are you sure they circ? Cause yeah, that makes me sad. (Nothing personal, just how I feel about it) I just really hope that what I read about them following the Perl's was wrong cause that just makes me sick to think about.
Yeah, she has a little blurb about breastfeeding in the book, and it says she had terrible pain nursing the babies, so she'd use the ELMA cream she saved from the circs to numb her nipples.

1st c-section was with babies 2 and 3(twins) for terrible pre-e, and the next one was with baby 14 I think, the baby was transverse and didn't move to breech/head down during labor. The same thing happened with baby 18.

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#55 of 55 Old 09-08-2009, 03:46 PM
 
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I personally don't think that's irresponsible parenting. That's how most people all over the world parent. Most women, even if they only have a few children, work so much in the fields or gathering, that the child is raised by a grandparent and siblings. I think it's sweet.
: I think their parenting style is awesome. If I were as patient and loving as Michelle I would totally have 20 kids - what beautiful relationships they have with one another. They're really an outstanding family!

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