Gender Disappointment - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 04:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So we are having our third boy. I am very excited everything looks good, but I'll admit I was hoping for a change of pace. Looking for less trucks, less wrestling, etc. I am sure you all have stories of your crazy truck loving daughters - I was just thinking it might be nice to have one. We plan for this to be our last so that's that I guess. It was tough enough before I knew for sure - strangers saying "oh I hope its a girl! Oh no not three boys! I am so sorry!" I can't handle everyone's sympathy for a healthy baby, but yet I am disappointed. ugh.

Can I also add that I am so ashamed and embarrassed of my disappointment - it doesn't feel good at all!

Wife to wonderful DH, SAHM to DS1 (3/05), DS2(11/06), and baby boy #3 coming (3/11/10)!
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#2 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 04:46 PM
 
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i am a huge advocate for in-gender.com

they have a great gender dissapointment forum here
http://in-gender.com/cs/forums/6.aspx

a friend told me about it after i found out i was having dd3 and it has helped a lot. the women there are very supportive.

i wish there was a "gender disappointment" subforum on MDC- im sure a lot of us mamas feel the same way.

i have my gender ultrasound on monday and i am hoping this will be my boy. we'll see.

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." -Harold B. Lee
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#3 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 04:49 PM
 
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So sorry people are being so insensitive! What are they thinking saying something like that? I too have 2 boys and am on our third and last one. I still have 2 more weeks before we find out the sex, but I'm feeling boy so I'm tyring to gear up for that news. I will also be disappointed and I think that's completely natural, even though we can be excited that it's a healthy baby regardless of gender; there's room for both emotions. I'm tyring to be optimistic in that if this babe is a boy, I was meant to only be the mama to boys, though, again, there wil be disappointment. Be true to your feelings.

Congratulations on the news of a healthy baby!!
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#4 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 04:53 PM
 
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I know how you feel and it sorta is playing a part in why I am not getting a scan this time. I had such gender disappointment with my son that I didn't want a repeat. Now I get to bond with the baby regardless of gender, which is how it should be anyway.

It feels wrong, to be disappointed, but you aren't alone and it is normal. It doesn't mean you are a bad person and you love your kids. When that baby is born you won't be able to imagine your life differently.

Mama to a sweet baby boy (01/18/08), wife to a sweet and loving husband, blogger:, swimmer:, reader of all things and future IBCLC. Waiting zenfully for my spirit baby to return!
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#5 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 05:06 PM
 
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I think that your sentiment is very natural and understandable. When we were pregnant with #1 and people asked DH what he wanted, he' always say, "Doesn't matter to me as long as it has a penis." (It made my skin crawl I thought it was so obnoxious, but he's from an all-boy household so maybe he didn't know better than to say something so blech). Anyway, #1 was a girl (we waited to find out at birth).

When we got pregnant with #2, I know that DH hoped for a boy "just in case" we decided to stop at two and "to take the pressure off." Again, we waited to find out at birth and had another little girl. I'll admit that we were both a little disappointed, which was a terrible guilt-inducing way to feel at the birth of a healthy baby. We very quickly got over it, but it was stunning to hear how many people made comments to DH about having to try for a third so we could get a boy as if to make up for that second girl. Actually people even talked about it when I was still pg with #2 (as in, if it's another girl, are you going to try for a third?)

Now we're on to #3 which is the last one we intend to have. We're on the fence about finding out gender, but DH has been adamant that if we do find out, he doesn't want us telling anybody because he doesn't want to deal with months of "you FINALLY did it" or "Oh, too bad" comments while anticipating the birth of our child. To be honest, his feelings are mixed. He does want to have a son, but he's sad knowing that would mean that he wouldn't have another little girl (and he loves his girls). To be honest, I feel the same way. Frankly, I think that in any case knowing it's my last child would leave me with some sadness. It's closing a chapter and you're left knowing what you won't ever have (but you also know what you WILL ).

Give yourself time to feel what you're feeling. You're certainly not alone.

Wife to my DH Mama to my two girls  hearts.gif'03 and love.gif '06 and my sweet babyboy.gif 3-'10 I am blessed.
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#6 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 06:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh that website does make me feel better - much less like an ungrateful monster - thank you all for your support!

Wife to wonderful DH, SAHM to DS1 (3/05), DS2(11/06), and baby boy #3 coming (3/11/10)!
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#7 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 06:25 PM
 
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Even having 2 of each, I can understand. I wanted a girl this time, because my fiance wants one SOOOO much. I was thinking of how I'd feel if this was a boy and because I know how disappointed my fiance would be, it'd just kill me.

I was also sad when I found out my 3rd was a girl-had wanted another boy-but I quickly got over it.

I can imagine having all of one sex would make it even harder when you REALLY want a baby of the opposite sex! Our neighbors have 5 girls, no boys. Of course, she said at this point she doesn't want a boy-she wouldn't know what to do with one.

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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#8 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 06:25 PM
 
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Yep, found out this one is a boy, today... not thrilled. I know he won't be exactly like my other son, but Ds has given us such a difficult run with the mean, pinchy/bitey nursing and the no sleeping (since he was 6 months old - before that he was an angel )... I just had a better experience with my daughter, I guess, so I was hoping for another (and I really *felt* like this one was! but no, there's definite dangley bits in there). Meh. I'm sure he'll be sweet and cute and funny and totally lovable and melt my heart, but right now I'm sorta disappointed.

Jenna ~ mommy to Sophia Elise idea.gif  (1/06), Oliver Matthew  blahblah.gif (7/07) and Avery Michael fly-by-nursing1.gif(3/10)

 

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#9 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 07:14 PM
 
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s to the mamas who are feeling sad, you're no monsters, you're wonderful people!

ETA: I'm so glad that we have this thread because this is such and important topic. So thank you Amandamanda (and others who also mentioned it) because it's an awesome resource.

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#10 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 07:27 PM
 
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Not from this DCC, had DS3 back in July, but I suffered from very bad GD and still have it, esp now that we are finished having babies. I whole-heartedly 2nd the recommendation of going to in-gender.com. You can vent to your heart's content, ppl there understand and do not judge you for it. I have gotten slammed here at MDC on my DCC for having GD from women who were having their first child and have NO clue what it is like to be in this situation. I will say that I was very afraid I would not bond with DS3, b/c I spent the entire 2nd half of my pregnancy crying and depressed about another boy. However, so far he has been the baby I've bonded with the most out of all three of my children. I would never trade in my other kids for a girl, BUT I am still pretty upset that this is it, no girl for me. I feel very bitter about it, and hope that with time it gets better.
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#11 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you're disappointed. I really want another girl. More for DD than for me though, I really really want her to have a sister. I grew up with sisters and can't imagine not having them. I go through periods where I feel like it really doesn't matter one bit what gender the baby is, and then other periods where I feel like I will be so disappointed and sad if this baby ends up being a boy. It will be my last too, since DH really doesn't want any more. I think in some ways I will be a bit disappointed either way too. If it is a girl, it means I will never be a mom to a boy. If it's a boy, DD won't ever have a sister. And even though I was such a tomboy as a kid, I really love having a daughter and think how adorable it would be to have two little girls.

The days that I'm really wanting a girl though I end up feeling guilty and I wonder what my reaction will be on the day if baby is a boy. I almost want to get an ultrasound just to find out the gender, so I can work through any feelings I have before baby comes and if it's a boy I think going out and buying boy newborn clothes and sets and making little boy diapers would be a good way to get excited about having a boy. But we're not getting an ultrasound at all so I have a while to wait yet.

Lindsay - DD1, born posterior and chin up at home, Aug 2007
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#12 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 08:55 PM
 
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I'm so glad you were able to voice your frustrations... I can sympathize a bit...

But I cannot BELIEVE that people would be SORRY that you're having another boy!! I think that's so incredibly rude to de-value your child even before he's born

(which is why, I've determined, that if this babe-to-be-born is a boy -- we're not finding out -- we'll HAVE to have another one... because I love my CHILDREN and don't want people saying, "Oh, you finally stopped since you got your boy!" as if my three other girls were really just practice shots..!)

Judy, wife to my Catholic deacon husband ... homeschooling mother to my four girls, a boy, and someone new in May '15! Forever remembering our loss (8/11) .
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#13 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 09:19 PM
 
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I haven't read the whole thread, but I can totally relate. After DS2, who I was CONVINCED was a girl (I bought clothes and everything), I cried for a few days and was pretty bummed for a while. DH said to me right after finding out, "don't think this means we're having a third just to try for a girl." That really didn't help, ya know!

With Silas, I hoped for a girl, but having tried 2.5 years and had two losses, I really wanted a healthy baby. I was a little disappointed, but knew we would probably have four so there was that maybe in my head...

After Silas, I couldn't believe (still can't!) the people things would say. They'd say things like "ohhh, THREE BOYS" with this terrified look on their face. There was one place in particular that I started avoiding because the same person would make a really negative comment every time I went in there. Last time we were all there she said "you'd better have a girl in there." I nodded without even making eye contact. There's nothing wrong with my sons...all three of them and there's nothing wrong with a family that has all sons, either. C'mon! One time I took a friend's two year old to the store with me and it was amazing the difference in people's reactions...I didn't feel like a freak show anymore just because I had a little girl with me. How sad is that?!

I grew some thick skin and yes, am ECSTATIC that this baby is my long hoped for daughter, but I also knew that if I was destined to be a boy mom, that's just how it was. DS1 was really disappointed that it is a girl because he thinks a family of all brothers is really cool. I'm glad he feels that way, but I'm hoping he can work the idea of a sister into his little brain, too.

And FWIW, I never waited until birth b/c I didn't want to feel that disappointment feeling at the birth, although I know it lasts a lot less. I wanted to have some time to work through it on my own.

Also, everyone I know who has many of one gender has expressed some disappointment at having the same gender again, at least once. It's a normal emotion, no matter how "bad" you feel about it.

Charlotte, midwife to some awesome women, wife to Jason, and no longer a mama to all boys S reading.gif('01), A nut.gif ('03) S lol.gif ('08) and L love.gif ('10).
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#14 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 09:19 PM
 
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I actually had a friend say "oh crap!" when I found out Silas was a boy! She's a good friend, too, but I was just like...HUH?!

Charlotte, midwife to some awesome women, wife to Jason, and no longer a mama to all boys S reading.gif('01), A nut.gif ('03) S lol.gif ('08) and L love.gif ('10).
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#15 of 41 Old 10-21-2009, 10:18 PM
 
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I knew I would have been disappointed with a boy for my first, so I chose not to find out. I figured I would be so exhausted from labor and birth that I wouldn't care if I had a boy. I remember shopping for baby clothes with my mom when she came in town for the birth. She was like - should we even LOOK at the girl clothes and I was like YES - it will be our only chance to drool because if it's a boy there will no point. Turned out it was a girl, but I really didn't want to know until birth.

This time I'm OK with either so we're going to find out. I can understand your disappointment.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#16 of 41 Old 10-22-2009, 12:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NBMama View Post
So we are having our third boy. I am very excited everything looks good, but I'll admit I was hoping for a change of pace.

Can I also add that I am so ashamed and embarrassed of my disappointment - it doesn't feel good at all!
Oh girl! Don't feel bad! You are in good company! And I may be in your place next week... again!

My last 4 have been boys! So I have SO been there! (my dd's are 22 & 13) With my 4th pregnancy, I did want another boy so that, I was happy about. But then with the 5th, I was convinced it was a boy and dh was convinced girl... yup, another boy! (He had convinced me to think girl!) We were both stunned! With baby #6, after losing 2 babies close to the 2nd trimester, I was just happy for a healthy baby... but still, a little sad. Of course, I always got over it and it HELPED me to find out with the U/S. I didn't want to be sad right after giving birth. (And oh how I do love my boys!!!! ) But getting U/S's have helped me through the process... and it was a process.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Amandamanda View Post
i have my gender ultrasound on monday and i am hoping this will be my boy. we'll see.
My 20 week U/S is Monday, too, AmandaAmanda!

After spending these first few months of this pregnancy pining for a girl, I have been spending more time this week looking into my sons' eyes and telling myself how much I will love another baby boy. (but I know I still want a baby girl) So we'll see on Monday...

Abigail Grace (40ish), Wife to 1 Knight in Shining Armor
Homeschooling Mom to 6 and a surprise bundle due in March
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#17 of 41 Old 10-22-2009, 09:47 AM
 
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ddc-crashing - we've had those comments too! we have a 2yo son and dp is pregnant with ds2. 'oh are you sad it's another boy?" no, we are happy our baby is healthy! we will be trying for #3 and yes, we would like a daughter but if it's another boy then the universe wanted us to be mum and mommy to boys and we'll be content with that.

my sister has 3 boys and had similar comments when #3 was born and wasn't a girl. she was disappointed but says she loves her little man and now can't imagine it any other way.

i think gender disappointment is completely valid, especially if this is your last baby.

g

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#18 of 41 Old 10-22-2009, 01:43 PM
 
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So we are having our third boy. I am very excited everything looks good, but I'll admit I was hoping for a change of pace. Looking for less trucks, less wrestling, etc. I am sure you all have stories of your crazy truck loving daughters - I was just thinking it might be nice to have one. We plan for this to be our last so that's that I guess. It was tough enough before I knew for sure - strangers saying "oh I hope its a girl! Oh no not three boys! I am so sorry!" I can't handle everyone's sympathy for a healthy baby, but yet I am disappointed. ugh.

Can I also add that I am so ashamed and embarrassed of my disappointment - it doesn't feel good at all!
I think that dealing with the idea that you won't have the chance to mother a child of a certain gender can be a type of mourning. It's a loss you have to deal with.

I'm anxiously awaiting my ultrasound (it was supposed to be two days ago, but was rescheduled for next Monday! Total emotional torture for an mama eager to find out baby's gender!). I have three girls, and this will be my last baby. While this wasn't a "final attempt to get my boy", when it comes down to it if I'm honest with myself I have to admit that I absolutely will be disappointed to not get the chance to have a boy. Before I had my first, I had never been able to imagine myself mothering girls, only boys. I love my girls, and even with my third pregnancy I was totally okay with the idea of all girls, but suddenly thinking that this is my last has made it feel more important to have a boy. I'll need some time to get used to the idea if it turns out I'm having another girl. That's my reason for trying to find out now -- I want to deal with those feelings before baby comes, rather than be disappointed at the birth. In contrast, my girls all say they want another sister, so they'll need some time to get used to the idea of a baby boy if I happened to be carrying a boy.

I wish I had some kind of intuition about it. I've got nothin' (except for a lot of impatience for my ultrasound!)
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#19 of 41 Old 10-22-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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I was so dissapointed when DS was a boy. Even though we planned to have 2 I wanted my girl and if anything I would have loved all girls. Of course I got over it, but the feeling never left that I reallllly wanted a girl for #2. I can't imagine how hard it would be when you know you are done having kids. A friend of mine has 2 boys and is pg with #3. She has said that if they have another boy this time they will be adopting a girl (they planned to adopt #4 either way).

My aunt and uncle have 6 boys. After the first 3 I think they sort of just gave up!

Suzan, mama to DS 9-18-07 and #2 EDD 3/4/10 GIRL!.
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#20 of 41 Old 10-22-2009, 02:50 PM
 
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I can relate to you. My first was a girl and I was thrilled. With my second I hoped for a boy. We found out at birth she was a girl. I was ecstatic. I was so in love with her from the get-go that it did not matter to me that she was a girl. Now we are pregnant with the third. I am hoping for another girl. My other two girls are 13 and 4. And I just feel like I am such a good "girl" mom. I don't know what I would do with a boy.
We are getting a ton of comments though from friends and relatives about how they are hoping this is a boy and how they are so sure we need a boy and asking if we tried for a boy and on and on. I think it is so rude for people to make comments about the genders of other people's babies.

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#21 of 41 Old 10-22-2009, 07:11 PM
 
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I can relate to you. My first was a girl and I was thrilled. With my second I hoped for a boy. We found out at birth she was a girl. I was ecstatic. I was so in love with her from the get-go that it did not matter to me that she was a girl. Now we are pregnant with the third. I am hoping for another girl. My other two girls are 13 and 4. And I just feel like I am such a good "girl" mom. I don't know what I would do with a boy.
We are getting a ton of comments though from friends and relatives about how they are hoping this is a boy and how they are so sure we need a boy and asking if we tried for a boy and on and on. I think it is so rude for people to make comments about the genders of other people's babies.
Yeah, it's funny. People are surprised that I want a girl. "But, doesn't everyone want one of each?" Not necessarily! Of course I'd love to have a little boy too, but really I feel that sister/sister relationships are so different than sister/brother relationships. Not necessarily in a bad way, just different. I love having sisters and would love my daughter to have one.

I'm actually starting to think I might get an ultrasound just to find out the gender though. I have a midwife appointment tonight, so we'll see how I feel then.

Lindsay - DD1, born posterior and chin up at home, Aug 2007
DD2, born at home in the water, March 2010
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#22 of 41 Old 10-22-2009, 07:33 PM
 
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My SIL has 4 boys and has just started telling people they "specialize" in boys. It adds a little humor to the obnoxious comments.

Hugs to you.

Mom to  DS (7), DD (5), DS (3), and stork-boy.gif in 8/2013

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#23 of 41 Old 10-22-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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timely thread, thanks for being honest.
My situation is a little bit different, but I can relate to what has been said by several mamas.
As for other people and their comments, people will always say things without thinking and generally negative, that's just how our society is unfortunately.
I remember all the "Poor DS, poor DH" comments when we found out #4 was a girl. Drove me insane. And I think all those comments gave me GD when I didn't have it at first.

Kelly mama to DD E (14), DD A (6), DS A (4), DD E (born still at 36 weeks April 6, 2009) and fully attached to Ella Faith, now 1!!!
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#24 of 41 Old 10-23-2009, 01:11 AM
 
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I appreciate your honesty. I'm only on baby #1, but I have mixed feelings about our ultrasound result...it seems like we're having a girl, although she was really wiggly and not in the best position to get shots of the heart, face or the gender so I'm going back next month for a 2nd scan.

I think girls are wonderful, but somehow it seems more natural to me to have a boy first...DH is from a family of only boys and I only have brothers, so I'm used to boys. I don't know why it feels so strange to try to imagine a family dynamic with a girl as the eldest...I guess its just unfamiliar. I know that we will absolutely love her and that she will be a joy to us, but I did feel anxious when the tech told us its a girl, and then felt guilty for not being more excited...I know I'll get there, but maybe it just takes time?

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#25 of 41 Old 10-23-2009, 11:27 AM
 
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As a reminder to all of us who've had or are haivng gender disappointment: gender disappointment does not equate loving the baby any less. The 2 things are mutually exclusive. So, being sad that the babe isn't the gender we were hoping for does not mean that we will not love the baby/child to pieces. We are not monsters!! Just wanted to add that!
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#26 of 41 Old 10-23-2009, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Isn't that so true? It really is crazy to feel such a dichotomy of emotion! So excited for baby, so much love already - which I never really felt the last two times - I was very anxious and always worried about things that could go wrong. I am so much more relaxed and very happy - but yet feel ambivalent at best at the gender. I am relieved to work through this before the baby comes - definitely the best way for me!

Wife to wonderful DH, SAHM to DS1 (3/05), DS2(11/06), and baby boy #3 coming (3/11/10)!
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#27 of 41 Old 10-23-2009, 03:58 PM
 
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I'm also only on baby #1, but my hopes for a certain sex are exactly why I've decided not to find out until we meet this little person. I feel like if I had found out at the ultrasound and it was not what I was secretly hoping for I might be a little disappointed for a while but I'm 99% sure that if I find out when I've just birthed a healthy human being I won't give a crap whether it is a girl or a boy because I'll be so excited.

mama to two little men...3/25/2010 and 10/3/2013
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#28 of 41 Old 10-23-2009, 04:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NBMama View Post
So we are having our third boy. I am very excited everything looks good, but I'll admit I was hoping for a change of pace. Looking for less trucks, less wrestling, etc. I am sure you all have stories of your crazy truck loving daughters - I was just thinking it might be nice to have one. We plan for this to be our last so that's that I guess. It was tough enough before I knew for sure - strangers saying "oh I hope its a girl! Oh no not three boys! I am so sorry!" I can't handle everyone's sympathy for a healthy baby, but yet I am disappointed. ugh.

Can I also add that I am so ashamed and embarrassed of my disappointment - it doesn't feel good at all!
How old are your boys?

We're having our third boy first. I was kind of hoping for a girl but then one of my best friends had a boy two weeks ago and though her daughter is one of my son's age, it will be nice to have boys the same age. And it will be nice not to have to find space for a whole other baby wardrobe. And my first two are so close, have so much in common, that it might be nice to add a third who has a better chance of liking the same things (mind you, one of the things both my boys love is taking care of baby dolls, including diapering and nursing, so grain of salt with that one). And another very good friend has five boys and such a happy harmonious family that I can't help but want to emulate...

I come from a community that believes in having large families and two of the families I grew up with were mostly girls. As in 9 girls and then a boy, and 8 girls followed by twin boys and a singleton. So change can always happen!
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#29 of 41 Old 10-23-2009, 11:29 PM
 
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I know how you feel and it sorta is playing a part in why I am not getting a scan this time. I had such gender disappointment with my son that I didn't want a repeat. Now I get to bond with the baby regardless of gender, which is how it should be anyway.
I feel exactly this same way! We did have a u/s just today, actually, but she knew specifically NOT to look for gender. With DD, I really, really, really wanted a boy. It's hard to explain, but my mother and stepmother were both awful parents to me and I felt like this somehow made me unprepared to mother a girl. I just felt like I didn't have good female role models in my life and I didn't know if I could be one for a daughter of my own, so I desperately did not want a girl. At 14 weeks, the doc said it was early, but that he was positive it was a boy. Then at the next one, we found out it was definitely a girl. I was CRUSHED.

After having DD and seeing that everything is just fine, when DH and I decided to have another, I actually wanted another girl. The reason is that this one will definitely be our only other child and I thought it might be easier to be close to a same sex sibling. I don't want to be disappointed to hear it's a boy if it is, but I know that if I just wait until it's born, that won't happen. There's no way I could see my baby and hold my baby and still be sad that it's the "wrong" sex, the way I could if I just hear that the fetus inside me is the "wrong" one, you know? So we just opted not to find out, to avoid that whole possibility. (It's not the only reason, but it was a big contributing factor.)

I'm totally not saying you should've not found out. I was soooo incredibly tempted to tell her to go ahead and look today, lol. I'm just trying to say that I've been through gender disappointment as well, and it was hard for me to deal with, so I completely understand feeling the way you do.
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#30 of 41 Old 10-24-2009, 06:02 AM
 
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(((HUGS)))

I know how you feel. I remember getting the news that our 3rd baby was also our 3rd girl. Honestly, I didn't mind (sort of). I loved the baby, but did not like the outside circumstances that it caused (like people showing disappointment in this baby before she's even born - that made me sad). Not to mention my oldest daughter who was about 5 at the time was sooooo upset I couldn't believe it.

Then, there was my dad who had just a few years before cheated on my mom after 20+ years and actually mentioned that maybe this was his chance to finally get a son.

Then DH had someone at work make a similar comment (that he had finally gotten a boy because he changed wives...I'm sure he was sorta joking, but sorta not?). Anyway - all of that of course made me insecure because I know how much my DH wanted a son.

DH had also mentioned shortly after we found out that we were having another girl that he wasn't sure he could try again. He didn't want to feel disappointment again...I never intended to have 3 children...it was ALWAYS 2 or 4, I didn't want to stop at 3, never intended to and was sad about the idea of that possibly being my last pg. Plus I really wanted to have a son with my husband.

So that was a LOAD to carry at that time.

But of course, the baby was born and EVERYONE loved her and spoiled her because she was just such a cutie (I think God did that on purpose so it would be impossible for anyone to go "oh it's another girl" in a disappointed tone once she arrived).

With my 4th (my son), DH didn't want to know gender for the reason others have stated. He said, he knew once the baby was there he'd love the baby no matter what so he didn't want to know. Because of that I didn't tell him when I was scheduled for u/s because I DID want to know. I had to prepare. But he I ended up telling him because we were having a boy, though he never really believed it until he was able to see for himself that we were actually having a boy...now it really doesn't mattter....especially after experiencing loss and seeing others go through it too, we just want things to go smoothly and never take for granted that they will.

Stacie (34)
DH (34) ~ DDs (14, 11, 10) ~ DS (6) ~ (11/06) ~ DD (3) ~ DS (1) ~ Surpise BFP 7/2011 pos.gif

Yes, I have a blog for moms too orngbiggrin.gif

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