Totally freaking out - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 02-02-2010, 07:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This has nothing at all to do with my pregnancy, though I suppose the stress level could kick me into labor.

My ex called to let me know that the IRS took his entire tax return-over $7k-to pay my student loans (which are in default and I know are in default-I can't pull them out until I have a stable income because if I do and miss a payment, they'll go back permanently and I REALLY don't want that). Our divorce papers say we're each responsible for our own debts-meaning I now owe my ex $7k. I don't even get $600 a month, how the hell am I going to pay 7 grand back?! I mean, I guess I'm going to start looking for a full time job once baby is here-but we've been looking for part time work for months and had zero luck, beyond a few interviews.

On top of that, I question how the heck he managed to get 7 grand in tax returns...is it just me or does that seem like a lot? I mean, he never got close to that when we were together with 4 kids...and he makes the same amount. I know he filed as married and joint (our divorce isn't finalized and I didn't work so I told him it was ok), but he only has custodial parentage of 2 of the kids. I wonder if he claimed all of us? Though I still don't know how the heck he got that much.

Anyway, I need to go freak out some more. Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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#2 of 15 Old 02-02-2010, 07:25 PM
 
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If he is legally your ex, then you don't have to pay him back, the IRS does. They would have to pay him back, and then wait until they could try to take as much as they could from Your tax return. Even if you aren't legally seperated, etc. he may be able to file an "Injured Spouse" clause, showing that they took his money, and that you didn't make any of it. My husband and I are still married, and I was able to get the tax returns back (after DH's student loans took it) since I made all of the family income that year and he was unemployed. You also wouldn't have to worry about whether or not your ex was being entirely honest about the amount of his tax return that. HTH

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#3 of 15 Old 02-02-2010, 08:07 PM
 
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Not in this DDC~~~

You need to find out if he claimed you and your children. If he filed "married" and "joint" then he probably did.

If he did claim you and your children then it would be "your" tax return not "his" tax return.

If he hadn't claimed all of you then he wouldn't have gotten as much back.

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#4 of 15 Old 02-02-2010, 11:53 PM
 
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Not in this DDC~~~

You need to find out if he claimed you and your children. If he filed "married" and "joint" then he probably did.

If he did claim you and your children then it would be "your" tax return not "his" tax return.

If he hadn't claimed all of you then he wouldn't have gotten as much back.
Not in DDC either but I'm going through IRS hell with my ex... and THIS. If he claimed you all then it was your return too.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#5 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 01:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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He's already filed requesting the money back. No idea what he filled out but he started working on that immediately. I just don't see the IRS giving him it back though...I mean, when I had an unpaid medical bill come up and a judgement was made against me, HE had his wages garnished and I had to pay him back for that too. But that was $800, not $7k...anyway, he did try to fight that as well and despite the divorce papers and everything else, the judge said it was perfectly legal. So if thats the case, I can't seeing the IRS being like oh, here you go!

I have to wait something like 12 weeks to find out if they decide to give it back or not. I also have no idea how to find out if he filed for all of us...it wouldn't surprise me but at the same time, he knows he doesn't have custodial parentage of the other child and the eldest isn't even his, so I he might not of out of fear of getting in trouble. I really don't know. Like I said, I wouldn't even care in all honesty if this hadn't happened, not this year anyway-I have nothing to file anyway. Though I'm pretty sure its illegal for him to do...

If he did file jointly as married, could that be something they could use to keep his tax return? I mean, how can you file jointly and be divorced at the same time, right? I hadn't thought of that....

Anyway, I think the stress got to me earlier. I lost my mucous plug and I've been having contractions all day. Blarg.

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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#6 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 02:02 AM
 
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Sending you a big hug. I too have a financial disaster in my midst and it's tremendously stressful. I'm ticked that I have this stress while pregnant. I hope some good things come your way. You'll be in my thoughts!
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#7 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 02:17 AM
 
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(((Hugs)))
This seems like the last thing you need to be thinking about right now

I am not an expert on taxes or the IRS, but, it seems fishy to me. 7k is A LOT to get back if he didn't claim all of you. And even if you had nothing to report, it seems like you would be eligible for EIC? I would just look into this all before you pay him 7k. you know? If he is filing jointly, than some of that money they took to pay your loans should be yours as well???

Wishing you as much peace and baby-hang-in-there thoughts as possible.

Kelcey... in love with DH, and DD born 10/13/07, and a little DS born 2/23/10!
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#8 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah I know...if he filed jointly, even if that was the ONLY thing he did, then he got back extra and there is no way I'd be paying that part back. Unfortunately my exes brain doesn't work that way though, so this would end up resulting in all sorts of fighting, arg. (As an example, after we'd split up, he took my child support card from my eldest-who isn't his-and spent the $2400 in back childsupport I had gotten from my ds' bio dad's tax returns. And of course he did it without my knowledge...when he found out that I'd find out, he told me about it and couldn't understand why I was mad-he felt it was his to take for my half of the bills. Now, besides the fact that would be beyond even paying ALL of the bills, he actually had the nerve to get mad when I reported fraud and got a whopping $600 of it back, talking about how now I had to pay him back for that-which I refused of course. I really don't understand how he could think that it was ok to steal money like that, try to claim it was for my bills, and then get mad when I'm like WTF man?! Thats just him...he does no wrong...)


Anyway, I guess right now I just have to wait and see. I'm really worried though that the whole filing jointly and now trying to say he isn't responsible for my loans because we're divorced is going to make them refuse in itself. I'm not really sure what I should do in that case...its still money that went toward MY bill, but if it was his mess up that caused them to do it...I dunno.

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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#9 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 04:37 PM
 
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did he claim you as a dependent too?

DS arrived 3/10/10, DD arrived 3/13/13, and a third will be joining us around 5/20/14. pos.gif
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#10 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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And if you're still married enough (on December 31st 2009 you were still legally married) to file jointly you're still married enough for him to be held responsible for the debt. From what you've said he sounds like a douche bag and if he schemed to get 7k magically back from taxes I'd let it ride.. If he's claiming all of you as dependents, and that's how it sounds, and jointly, it's totally not all his money anyway. What a selfish .....


Hell, I'd be happy to break even this year. I tried to claim my Titan (flex fuel) as the purchase of a hybrid vehicle; the IRS didn't like it. So I still owe a fermillion dollars to Uncle Sam.

DS arrived 3/10/10, DD arrived 3/13/13, and a third will be joining us around 5/20/14. pos.gif
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#11 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 05:12 PM
 
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I'm not a tax attorney, but I Was under the impression that the spouse is entitled to a copy of the other spouses' return if filing joint. So the only way to answer your questions would be to obtain the tax forms.
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#12 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 06:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Probably, if he filed jointly. And yeah, thats what I'm saying...if we're legally married enough to file jointly, why wouldn't we be legally married enough to have him be responsible for my debt? I'm really thinking this is how the IRS will see it too...but it still states in our divorce papers that I'm responsible and if I fight it and take him to court, I have no idea what the judge will say-and it'll make all of our lives hell, having us fighting and constant issues again. We've been getting along ok recently, I hate to have this turn into something where we're at each others throats again.

We've had divorce papers filed since April of last year, but they haven't finalized due to him reporting that I was pregnant before the divorce was finalized. Now we have to wait for this baby to be born and for my fiance to sign the paternity affidavit stating she's his before they'll proceed and now, since we missed the 90 day trial because of the baby thing, we have to wait until our year trial-which is in April. Blarg. (Btw, I think we actually were supposed to report the pregnancy, so I can't blame him entirely for that.)

I'll look into getting a copy of the tax return if I can. It would make sense if he filed jointly that I could look at it too...just not sure where to look.

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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#13 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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The chances are he got so much back because he was claiming all of you and IMHO he should pay, not pocket all that money, unless you were living under his roof and he was SUPPORTING YOU.. sounds like he wasn't. I think he's supposed to report whether you even maintained separate residents. During the calendar year of 09 did you live in his house?

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#14 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 10:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DocsNemesis View Post
Probably, if he filed jointly. And yeah, thats what I'm saying...if we're legally married enough to file jointly, why wouldn't we be legally married enough to have him be responsible for my debt? I'm really thinking this is how the IRS will see it too...but it still states in our divorce papers that I'm responsible and if I fight it and take him to court, I have no idea what the judge will say-and it'll make all of our lives hell, having us fighting and constant issues again. We've been getting along ok recently, I hate to have this turn into something where we're at each others throats again.

We've had divorce papers filed since April of last year, but they haven't finalized due to him reporting that I was pregnant before the divorce was finalized. Now we have to wait for this baby to be born and for my fiance to sign the paternity affidavit stating she's his before they'll proceed and now, since we missed the 90 day trial because of the baby thing, we have to wait until our year trial-which is in April. Blarg. (Btw, I think we actually were supposed to report the pregnancy, so I can't blame him entirely for that.)

I'll look into getting a copy of the tax return if I can. It would make sense if he filed jointly that I could look at it too...just not sure where to look.


I'm stuck 'married' to my ex until after this babe is born too, same reason.

But if you are legally separated, it's illegal to file 'married'. You have to file single, or HOH. Also, depending on when you left your ex - your fiance could be claiming you as a dependent instead. Or you can file yourself, claim the EIC - even if it gets taken to pay back part of the student loans, that would be part of the debt paid with money you weren't expecting to get.

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#15 of 15 Old 02-03-2010, 11:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, he was supporting me through March when we split up. At that point he was still living here and continued paying the bills (actually I guess my son paid the bills since he took his money) until he moved out at the end of May. My fiance moved in in June-he was just waiting until my ex was moved out. So I suppose he could claim me for 3 months?

I'll try to find out if he claimed us all or not. I didn't think I'd qualify for an EIC though, as I didn't work? Not that I'd complain about my own tax return going towards that debt. It'd pay off some of the interest

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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