EEK! I had a bad appointment today. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 02-04-2010, 08:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ICKY OB appointment today.

Today my OB told me he felt I've gained too much weight. I am up 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. He said since I lost 8 at first I've gained 18 and he likes to see his patients gain at least 15 so I should not gain any more. I started out big, but I am still under what I weighed when I delivered my dd. My sugars, bp, protein, etc. are all fine.

I am currently 4 1/2 weeks away from my scheduled c-section date. (I don't have an option re:c-section and don't want to argue vbac please ) We moved to this area early on in the pregnancy, and I chose this doctor because of his stats/patient ratings from his surgery skills (this will be my 3rd c/s.) He has a VERY low infection rate, and patients have raved about their recoveries. So as far as the surgery is concerned he's probably still my first pick. I just don't want to go to any more appointments or have to talk to him again.

Then he asked me if I still planned on having a tubal. I have NEVER even THOUGHT about it, but somehow my chart says I requested one. The OB could not take it off or alter the comment. He said, "Well maybe you mentioned it when you were having a bad day." Uh, NO. So, while I'm in delivery I'm going to have to remind them that I don't want a tubal. NOT what I want to be thinking/worrying about while my baby is entering the world.

Turned out to be a long rant. Thanks for reading. I do plan to look for a new provider but I don't know if I'll be able to find one.

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#2 of 15 Old 02-04-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by harmie0515 View Post
ICKY OB appointment today.

Today my OB told me he felt I've gained too much weight. I am up 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. He said since I lost 8 at first I've gained 18 and he likes to see his patients gain at least 15 so I should not gain any more. I started out big, but I am still under what I weighed when I delivered my dd. My sugars, bp, protein, etc. are all fine.

I am currently 4 1/2 weeks away from my scheduled c-section date. (I don't have an option re:c-section and don't want to argue vbac please ) We moved to this area early on in the pregnancy, and I chose this doctor because of his stats/patient ratings from his surgery skills (this will be my 3rd c/s.) He has a VERY low infection rate, and patients have raved about their recoveries. So as far as the surgery is concerned he's probably still my first pick. I just don't want to go to any more appointments or have to talk to him again.

Then he asked me if I still planned on having a tubal. I have NEVER even THOUGHT about it, but somehow my chart says I requested one. The OB could not take it off or alter the comment. He said, "Well maybe you mentioned it when you were having a bad day." Uh, NO. So, while I'm in delivery I'm going to have to remind them that I don't want a tubal. NOT what I want to be thinking/worrying about while my baby is entering the world.

Turned out to be a long rant. Thanks for reading. I do plan to look for a new provider but I don't know if I'll be able to find one.
I've heard/read that good surgeons are usually jerks. They just have to be full of themselves to have the confidence to routinely cut into human flesh and take the risks they do. So don't expect good surgeons (which OB's are) to have great bedside manner, readily admit that they might be mistaken or to be anything other than arrogant and opinionated. If you can find a way to deal with the last few weeks (does anyone else in his office do prenatal appointments?), it sounds like a good surgeon is still your best bet if what you're seeing for is a planned surgery...

(ETA: I am sure there are nice surgeons who are also nice people. I've met some that are nice in a social setting. But when it comes to deciding who is going to cut you open, it sounds like your initial research was the best way to judge his competency, not your reaction now to his unsettling/annoying/bothersome opinions about your weight gain and subliminal desire for a tubal.)
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#3 of 15 Old 02-04-2010, 11:03 PM
 
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That stinks. I am sorry he isn't both this amazing surgeon AND awesome.

Kelcey... in love with DH, and DD born 10/13/07, and a little DS born 2/23/10!
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#4 of 15 Old 02-04-2010, 11:27 PM
 
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sorry, that's a big WTF?? in my book. I've gained 50 pounds and I am perfectly healthy and ready to give birth.

I hate doctors that infantalize their patients. It really infuriates me.

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#5 of 15 Old 02-04-2010, 11:34 PM
 
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ugh... that would leave me feeling icky too

I hope you're able to somehow remedy and/or find some peace in all of this.... I'll pray for a comforting and perfectly-proportioned (weight-wise..lol) 4.5 weeks!!

Easier said than done, but I hope you're able to let it roll off your back and simply prepare for what you can. Love that baby in your belly and know that your body is doing exactly what it needs to do.

Judy, wife to my Catholic deacon husband ... homeschooling mother to my four girls and now a rainbow1284.gif BOY!!! Forever remembering our loss (8/11) angel3.gif .

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#6 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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Please write on your belly with a marker when you go in for your cesarean "NO TUBAL" I would be worried since that is what it said in your chart.
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#7 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 12:51 AM
 
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That's total BS that he can't remove it from your chart. Somehow it got onto my chart that I'd been GBS positive in the past (not true) and my doctor was able to remove it from my records with the click of a button. I'd push about that, if I were you.

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#8 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 11:58 AM
 
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I'd definitely write "NO TUBAL" right down near your incision line (uh, maybe have your partner write it... I know I couldn't manage on my lower belly ), no question. perhaps also on your arms where they'll be sticking IVs, etc. And on anything you sign for the hospital admission/surgery papers whatever... in BIG LETTERS. That way there less chance, and if they do, at least you have some serious recourse. Also make sure your partner (or whoever will be with you) knows to SAY IT IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS (or at least remind you to tell them), so it's not all on you? I have a friend who had 3 cesareans and for her last one she was hassled a *lot* to get a tubal ... she thinks it was because with each cesarean there's higher chances of issues with the next pregnancy, so it's sort of an extra liability for the doctor? But really, it's none of his business. IN.SANE.

And what's the deal with only gaining 15 lbs? Seems weird to me...

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#9 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 12:10 PM
 
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I agree, it sounds like you chose an OB with the personality of a surgeon, which is what you chose him for, but geez...

As for the tubal, I'd just be sure that none of your consent paperwork at the hospital has tubal on it and if it does, I'd line-item it. I think that probably it's the fact that this is your third section and you're not supposed to have any more than 3 because of the risk of complicaitons. I have a friend who has had 5 sections (6 kids) and has been harassed progressively more with each pregnancy. One doctor accused her husband of trying to kill her and said he needs to get fixed or keep it in his pants. Nice, huh...

Charlotte, midwife to some awesome women, wife to Jason, and no longer a mama to all boys S reading.gif('01), A nut.gif ('03) S lol.gif ('08) and L love.gif ('10).
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#10 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 02:06 PM
 
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They can DEFINITELY alter your chart, if it is incorrect. They did that to mine with DH's blood type - they had him classed as O+ when he is actually O- (and since I am O-, too, it's kind of a big deal...). It sounds like your dr, although a great surgeon, is trying to play God and determine your reproductive future for you. Upon admission, you need to make it known and noted on your chart that you DO NOT CONSENT to a tubal or any other method of sterilization.

And I agree that great surgeons are generally lousy with people skills...

Karen~Mom to Sarah-17, Amanda-16, Nathan-14, Robbie-12, David-7, Hannah-4 & Joshua-2
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#11 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 04:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Bethla View Post
Please write on your belly with a marker when you go in for your cesarean "NO TUBAL" I would be worried since that is what it said in your chart.
I would do this.

Mom of 3.
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#12 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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I'd write it all over and take pics of it.

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#13 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 06:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the advice and support.

I am planning on writing on my belly and taking pictures of it. I also plan on double checking all the paperwork before the c-section and I included it as an extra note when I did my hospital pre-registration today. NO TUBAL (I had them put it in all caps and bold. )
I have a call in to his office this afternoon to see if the office manager/nurse/anyone will fix my chart.

I have realized that I only have 2 more appointments with this doc and I can make it through the 5 minutes he's in the room. I don't plan on having any questions or concerns other than "Did you fix my chart?"


Luckily (mainly thanks to MDC and great mama's like you guys) I've known it is okay to just trust my body and not hang on every word the dr. says. I've spaced appointments longer then they say, etc. The weight thing just annoyed me. Easy to annoy this pregnant lady.

Mom to  DS (7), DD (5), DS (3), and stork-boy.gif in 8/2013

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#14 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 08:22 PM
 
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Ummm, as far as the tubal goes, WTF!!!!I am shocked that they responded that way. I'm not going to say that maybe they put that in your charts, but, if you didn't request it, and are not requesting it now, then it shouldn't be in there. I agree, that's the last thing you want to worry about when birthing.

And the weight gain, medical "normal" is between 20-25 lbs. If you are a couple pounds off being "on track" I don't see any reason for a mom to leave your practice feeling like everything isn't ok. Yeah, I'd switch, if you can, which you always can. Just go into another OB's office before your delivery date, and tell them the situation, and ask them if they will take over. Bring a copy of your medical records so far with you and tell them that you have everything set of for them to take over.
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#15 of 15 Old 02-05-2010, 10:39 PM
 
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OMG, I am so so sorry that you have to even consider changing at this stage. That is AWFUL! I can't believe he said all those terrible, incredibly patronizing things. The weight gain is just ridiculous! But, that tubal stuff takes the cake. If you end up having to use him, maybe prepare some "pre-lawsuit" paperwork for him to sign. That not being able to change the chart sounds like a bunch of CYA garbage to me.

Please let us know what happens. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this.
It stinks, big time!

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
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