Well, that OBGYN sucked! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 17 Old 06-09-2010, 11:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Actually, she was really nice. However, her advice just gave me cold shivers. I went in today for my prolapse. Found out I was right - rectocele and cystocele. She said the rectocele was significant, but not extremely so, and the cystocele is very minor. So then she said that I should have the surgery in 6 months, since pessaries are only "for older women who don't have active sex lives" and there is nothing else I can do to help myself, except try Premarin, which she didn't think would actually work (and which I'm not doing anyway, since that would probably not be good for my milk supply). I said I might want another child and she said that I should get the surgery in 6 months anyway and then they'd just schedule a c-section for me if I had another baby, to prevent a recurrence. She didn't even mention the possibility of just having another one before surgery. Why on earth would I schedule 2 surgeries, when I could just delay the first and only have one?

So, while she was extremely friendly, I was totally put off by her advice. Pfft.
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#2 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 01:13 AM
 
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#3 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 03:34 AM
 
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Are you getting a second opinion?
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#4 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 10:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm going to see my midwives to see what their take on it is. I will definitely not be getting surgery until I at least try some other things. And if we do decide we want one more, I'll definitely wait until after that for surgery, if I really need it. It just sucks, because I feel like there's all this pressure to decide on another one right now. I'm not ready to make that decision.
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#5 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 11:03 AM
 
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I think I would have laughed in her face Good luck finding a better OB!

So, will the prolapse never heal at all on it's own? I have very little knowledge about prolapse. I think there was a big prolapse tribe-type thread around here someplace, though - maybe some of those ladies have ideas that could help?

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#6 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 12:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It can get better just on its own over time, but I think if you want it to really return to normal, you have to work at it a LOT, and even then sometimes it doesn't ever return to normal. I'm okay with working at it - I'm just not sure exactly what to do. I'm also okay with it not being 100% normal, but right now it's bad enough that I'm very self-conscious about it (so no sex, although DH says he doesn't care, but...how would he know, because we haven't done it?) and I frequently have some pelvic discomfort, probably from the rectocele making things all abnormal wrt bowel movements. So it does need to get better enough that I don't have symptoms and can't feel what I feel right now. If it doesn't, then absolutely I'll get surgery one day. I just don't want to do it before I decide about another kid. Although if something doesn't get a little better I won't be able to get pregnant anyway, due to the aforementioned lack of sex.

If DH hadn't gotten all into the idea of having another one, then this would not even be a thought right now. I thought we were absolutely done, but when he keeps on about it, it's so tempting. lol I didn't want more, but the way he talks....I change my mind some days.
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#7 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 01:04 PM
 
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Oh, yeah, if it didn't get better eventually, I'd probably have surgery... but I meant that I'd laugh at the idea of doing surgery and then scheduling a cesarean for it... I'd have to have some pretty compelling reasons before I'd do that, I guess.

And I know what you mean about the possibility about having another. I feel the same way about healing my SPD (which feels fine, now, but I suspect would flop right open again as soon as the pregnancy hormones hit, so I need to figure out how to avoid that) and also the abdominal diastasis I have. I had expected to be done... Dh didn't even really feel like he wanted a third... but he keeps mentioning the possibility of more. Which I find weird, knowing him, but there it is. But I have to get myself back together before that possibility becomes more real (if it does).

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#8 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 01:24 PM
 
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I'm right here with you, but still pg. I had mine after #4, though (not surgery-prolapse). There's a support thread under Healing Birth Trauma. I would definitely hold off on surgery-research seems to say it's not very effective for younger women with significant rectoceles to have surgery. I would go to a urogynecologist for a better second opinion. You can start physical therapy to begin with.

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#9 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 02:12 PM
 
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I've also got a pretty significant rectocele and a less significant cystocele. I went to a urogynecologist a few weeks ago and she was great and so reassuring. She definitely stressed that it made no sense for me to bother with surgery if I hoped to have more babies. She was not into the idea of forcing myself into a cesearean. Besides, the weight of the baby alone can put pressure on a prolapse. I know that I could see signs of the rectocele before I gave birth. If possible I would go see another more amiable urogynecologist who might be able to give you some management guidance rather than immediately pushing for surgery.

I also have some pelvic discomfort and general issues down there but I feel like it has gotten better or I have at least managed to stop thinking about it so much anymore. I do do kegels ALL the time. Maybe if I had done this many kegels while I was pregnant I wouldn't be having this issue.

As for sex with prolapse... I realize that everyone's body is different so I'll just say that in my experience the prolapse hasn't changed sex. It doesn't exacerbate the discomfort in any way and I can't feel the prolapse. I kind of feel like reclaiming my sex life has helped me feel a little less like my body is broken.

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#10 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 02:15 PM
 
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ciga-it hasn't affected my sex life, either. Though I am shy about what it looks like "down there".

And research shows that it's pregnancy more so than birth that cause prolapse-c-section moms have prolapses, too.

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#11 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
Oh, yeah, if it didn't get better eventually, I'd probably have surgery... but I meant that I'd laugh at the idea of doing surgery and then scheduling a cesarean for it... I'd have to have some pretty compelling reasons before I'd do that, I guess.
Me, too! That one was pretty far out for me. I was surprised that she never asked about the birth or why I wasn't seeing the OB who delivered DD about the problem, so my home birthing hippiness never came up. lol I just kind of "okayed" everything she said, then walked out telling DH how crazy it was that she'd say it.

Everyone at the office was very, very nice, but I really didn't appreciate anything that happened there. For instance, when I was checking out, the lady who was doing my paperwork told me my insurance hadn't okayed me for a urodynamic study, which I might eventually need. She was going on and on (loudly) about how I was in for a prolapse, it was a rectocele and cystocele, I'd need them to change the referral etc. The problem was that a woman and her husband or boyfriend or whatever were standing like a foot behind me. I don't really even want to talk about all this with my husband. I definitely did not appreciate some strange man listening to how my rectum was falling into my vagina. Really. Overall, everyone was friendly, but it was not a good experience.
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#12 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm right here with you, but still pg. I had mine after #4, though (not surgery-prolapse). There's a support thread under Healing Birth Trauma. I would definitely hold off on surgery-research seems to say it's not very effective for younger women with significant rectoceles to have surgery. I would go to a urogynecologist for a better second opinion. You can start physical therapy to begin with.
I asked the OBGYN about physical therapy. She said, "We don't refer for that - we don't recommend it". There is a urogynecologist in the same office, but I'm assuming she'll tell me the same thing, won't she, since they're in the same practice? I don't know if I should have my insurance company issue a referral to somewhere else or what. Is this sort of physical therapy a specialty or do they all do it? I have no idea about any of this.
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#13 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 02:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I also have some pelvic discomfort and general issues down there but I feel like it has gotten better or I have at least managed to stop thinking about it so much anymore.
I told DH the same thing - that at least now that I know what is causing the discomfort, I don't think about it as much. It makes it less uncomfortable, somehow.

Quote:
As for sex with prolapse... I realize that everyone's body is different so I'll just say that in my experience the prolapse hasn't changed sex. It doesn't exacerbate the discomfort in any way and I can't feel the prolapse. I kind of feel like reclaiming my sex life has helped me feel a little less like my body is broken.
Do you mean you can't feel the prolapse at all, or you can't feel it when you dtd? I can palpate it in there, and that's what makes me so self-conscious about it. I feel like it's all in the way. It's weird, because me and DH have been together for 9.5 years now, and we are in no way prim and proper or shy, but this feels different to me. I'm very embarrassed about it.

And sorry for the multiple posts everyone. I should've done a multiple quote.
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#14 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 02:57 PM
 
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I asked the OBGYN about physical therapy. She said, "We don't refer for that - we don't recommend it".
Maybe they don't recommend it because then they can't make money off the surgery Did she explain why she doesn't recommend it? Seems a little crazy to recommend surgery when it can be repaired (or at least improved) non-surgically...

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#15 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 03:02 PM
 
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Everyone at the office was very, very nice, but I really didn't appreciate anything that happened there. For instance, when I was checking out, the lady who was doing my paperwork told me my insurance hadn't okayed me for a urodynamic study, which I might eventually need. She was going on and on (loudly) about how I was in for a prolapse, it was a rectocele and cystocele, I'd need them to change the referral etc. The problem was that a woman and her husband or boyfriend or whatever were standing like a foot behind me. I don't really even want to talk about all this with my husband. I definitely did not appreciate some strange man listening to how my rectum was falling into my vagina. Really. Overall, everyone was friendly, but it was not a good experience.
WOW. That is so unprofessional. I can't believe that! I've never heard of one not recommending for it. I would definitely get a second opinion.

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#16 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 04:14 PM
 
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ciga-it hasn't affected my sex life, either. Though I am shy about what it looks like "down there".

And research shows that it's pregnancy more so than birth that cause prolapse-c-section moms have prolapses, too.
I am still shy about what it looks like too. I'm feeling better now though, like maybe in the near future I won't freak out if my husband looks. I also had some botched sutures that left me feeling particularly mangled. I know my husband will be incredibly kind when the time does comes but it is still taking a while for me.

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Do you mean you can't feel the prolapse at all, or you can't feel it when you dtd? I can palpate it in there, and that's what makes me so self-conscious about it. I feel like it's all in the way. It's weird, because me and DH have been together for 9.5 years now, and we are in no way prim and proper or shy, but this feels different to me. I'm very embarrassed about it.

And sorry for the multiple posts everyone. I should've done a multiple quote.
I meant that I can't feel the prolapse when we dtd. Everything about sex feels just as good as it did before. I can definitely palpate it in there too but (and I don't know a better way to put this) everything just moves out of the way when it needs to. I was worried it would feel like an obstruction but that is not the case.

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Me, too! That one was pretty far out for me. I was surprised that she never asked about the birth or why I wasn't seeing the OB who delivered DD about the problem, so my home birthing hippiness never came up. lol I just kind of "okayed" everything she said, then walked out telling DH how crazy it was that she'd say it.

Everyone at the office was very, very nice, but I really didn't appreciate anything that happened there. For instance, when I was checking out, the lady who was doing my paperwork told me my insurance hadn't okayed me for a urodynamic study, which I might eventually need. She was going on and on (loudly) about how I was in for a prolapse, it was a rectocele and cystocele, I'd need them to change the referral etc. The problem was that a woman and her husband or boyfriend or whatever were standing like a foot behind me. I don't really even want to talk about all this with my husband. I definitely did not appreciate some strange man listening to how my rectum was falling into my vagina. Really. Overall, everyone was friendly, but it was not a good experience.
and oh my god, I can't believe she was so indiscreet. I would have been mortified. You'd think someone working in a medical office would understand that people don't generally want there bodily malfunctions broadcasted.

If you can I'd try to get a referral for a urogyn in a different practice. Its not a given that the one in that practice will be as knife happy as the MD you saw but there is a definite possibility. Is this a doc your midwife recommended?

mama to two little men...3/25/2010 and 10/3/2013
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#17 of 17 Old 06-10-2010, 05:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's not one recommended by my midwife, although she wasn't specifically NOT recommended or anything. I am going to ask who they recommend next. I have Tricare (military insurance) and when a doc puts in a referral, Tricare just kicks it back for whoever they want. It's not a big deal because I can have it changed, but I just figured I'd give this one a shot. Learned my lesson. lol
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