How do you really feel about impending birth? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 27 Old 02-22-2010, 09:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For those of you who are first-timers (and those not too!), what feelings do you get when you think about the labor and birth that's coming up? I'm super EXCITED but also quite nervous, almost like before going on a rollercoaster, or before a big performance. Butterflies-in-your-stomach feelings. I'm also an L&D nurse and student nurse-midwife, so I imagine all different scenarios and am affected as well by things I see happen to my patients, who then surface in my dreams for weeks if the case/birth is particularly disturbing or otherwise sticks in my brain...

I've had lots of dreams about the birth, where I reach down and pull the baby up after the head is born. I also had two dreams about C-sections, but so far those have been in the minority, which as a homebirth-planner is A-okay with me!
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#2 of 27 Old 02-22-2010, 10:00 PM
 
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I think my feelings are similar. This will be my second child but -hopefully- first vaginal birth. So I'm like a first-timer but with some extra baggage. I'm excited about it because I hope it will go much better. I'm excited to be doing it at home, with people who are on the same page that I am. But I'm very nervous as well.

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#3 of 27 Old 02-22-2010, 10:33 PM
 
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Im very excited. I know I must be delusional but I cant recall any pain with my last birth, I mean I KNOW there were points where it hurt but I cant recreate the pain in my head, I cant for the life of me remember what it felt like and it was only 2 years ago yesterday Maybe thats natures way of making sure you go on to have more babies ?!

I just really hope that this baby remains in a good position and everything goes to plan just like it did with DS. His birth was easy, so if its anything like that I know I'll be OK.

Mummy to Samuel 02/08 and new baby Molly- 04/10
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#4 of 27 Old 02-22-2010, 10:43 PM
 
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I hope this birth is like DS's, except at home.

I'm excited about this birth. I'm THRILLED that we're even pregnant, considering we waited 2 1/2 years to get pg, and I'm just really hoping he decides to stay put until it's safe for him to arrive (36wks according to my mw since I'm a multipara). That's only 5 1/2 more weeks, so he better just be a little patient!

I don't remember the pain being awful with DS's birth, just exhilarating. Knowing that every contraction was bringing me closer to meeting my son was so powerful and amazing. I actually really love giving birth. I've never felt more powerful or feminine in my life all at once. It's amazing. Creating, sustaining and then delivering a new life? Unbelievable. I don't care how that baby got out, we're all super heroines.

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#5 of 27 Old 02-22-2010, 10:53 PM
 
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I'm just really going to need someone to remind me during pushing that it's just a question of finishing pushing and then I get my baby. I lose sense of time during pushing, and completely forget that there is a baby coming out. Whoops. You think I'd be better at this by now...

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#6 of 27 Old 02-22-2010, 10:59 PM
 
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I have to admit to feeling a little panicy which always happens around this time. I don't mind labor but I do remember the pain. I have, unfortunately, a very vivid memory for pain. I think it might be the third degree burns I got when I was about 7. I can still remember that pain! But I also remember that it ends, and feeling so high once you're holding the baby. It's a very awesome moment (not in cool but in powerful). And the panic always goes away once I'm actually in labor.

Mama to Umberto 12, Camille, 9, Piper 7, Rowena 2, and Jude Therese Prenatal DS diagnosis due December 23.

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#7 of 27 Old 02-22-2010, 11:09 PM
 
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I'm super, super, super, super g**d*** f******g excited!! Enough expletives for you? I imagine that I don't know what I'm getting myself into, being a first timer, but I'm really not nervous for labor. I'm just really excited and ready for her to be here, even if there are 8 more weeks before she comes. One of the things that I am most thankful for is that I took a Bradley method class with my husband. My class spans 12 weeks (last class is tomorrow ) and of those 12 weeks, all but 3 are about labor. I really feel like we have as many tools for handling labor as first time parents can possibly have. I know it's going to be exhausting hard work, but I am just so ready!

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#8 of 27 Old 02-22-2010, 11:57 PM
 
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Mostly, that I want to be done. I'm so done with being pregnant.

As far as the actual L&D: I've been in labor before so it doesn't scare me. When I start reading birth books, then I can get a bit freaked out, so I've stopped reading them so I don't have to think about the possible complications of a VBAC or (medically necessary) repeat c-sec. I keep telling myself it will be fine and it won't be that big of a deal, and besides, I don't want to be pregnant anymore so the baby has to come out one way or another and it's not worth stressing over.

I think some of my freaking out is coming from other pregnancy annoyances too, like the fact that I'm throwing up more again (it never stopped, but it's worse), and my kid apparently is smooshing my liver or something because it hurts there a lot (we ran some labs last week and everything is fine, thankfully), and the annoying GD numbers game because it freaks me out when my numbers appear to be creeping up for no known reason. Oh, and today I suddenly had a rash all along my chin and lower cheeks and was like oh, no, what's that from, am I having a food allergy reaction? (Could be, or it could be a delayed reaction from the scarf I pulled up around my face this morning while shivering in the cold for 20 minutes waiting for the bus.)

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#9 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 12:07 AM
 
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I feel excited. So excited, like a 5 year old waiting for Christmas morning.

DD's birth was manageable. I had back labor and I was really tense. This time I think I will be able to totally relax, and the baby doesn't seem to be favoring a posterior position so I'm hoping there will be no back labor or hours of pushing.

I also feel strangely calm and I have no idea why. I'm not anxious about anything birth-related going badly.

My only fear is that the baby will die/be still born which is somewhat irrational considering everything seems fine. I think those fears are left over from my miscarriage. I'm trying to accept that there is nothing about this I can control, other than the environment where I choose to labor and birth and my mindset.

Momma to Sweet Rosie 7/06, Lost Baby J 1/09 at 12 weeks pregnant, Spitfire Ada born 4/21/10, and Baby Boy due July/August 2013!
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#10 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 12:17 AM
 
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I'm excited, ecstatic that I get to have a homebirth, but at the same time I'm terrified of the pain...and freaking out at the thought of homebirth. :-[ I think once I get a contraction or two down, I'll be just fine. It's the anticipation that's killing me!

Aileen, Mama to Hannah James, 4/01/07 Smartest kid I've ever known! And Gabriel Joseph, born at home 3-31-10!! Delaying and selectively vax'ing
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#11 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 12:24 AM
 
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i'm really excited to do it again! this time i'm going to take advantage of the big tub and different positions etc. no epi this time!
with my first I was really excited too... not nervous at all, which was both surprising to me and not at all (I had seen my sister birth three kids - so I figured if she could do it so could I!), anyway I really think it helped being so calm about it, even with being induced i had a pretty great birthing experience!
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#12 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 12:38 AM
 
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With the spd, exhaustion, irritability, asthma, and now being sick...I don't care what labor is like as long DS its soon! Actually, I'd prefer to not go until March 10 (38 weeks), but after that I'm game.

My biggest fear is a super fast labor. I'm at the point now where I'm not keen on going out without dh just in case the annoying, sporadic ctx turn into something.

Deni. I'm the liberal, Jesus-loving, hippie freak your mama warned you about. Expecting a cinco surprise, spring 2014!
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#13 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 12:44 AM
 
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I'm actually excited. I'm a VBAC and I've already had my worst birth (barring mom/baby dying, of course) and my last pregnancy was a naturally-birthed miscarriage, so I feel like I can take on anything. Even if I have another 50+ hr labor, I can do it, because I've done it before!

Also, I feel so very lucky to have found a HBMW who is so on board with EVERYTHING and to have DH be 100% with me on a homebirth. I'm so blessed.

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#14 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 12:58 AM
 
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I am absolutely 100% excited and happy! I simply cannot wait to go into labor and birth this child! DD was a scheduled breech c/s, so I never even went into labor w/ her. It is funny the things you excitedly embrace when you have been denied them

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#15 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 01:15 AM
 
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For some reason I am nervous. I had such a wonderful experience last time that I am afraid I just won't have that again. And it will be different this time anyway, given the fact of no daddy support at all whatsoever, which i suppose at this point is a good thing it's just going to be different. I don't feel like I can totally rely on my support partner b/c she has 5 kids and will have to find care for them before she can come to help me out. I don't know. I am probably just being over...something... sensitive doesn't sound right. Oh well.
I keep trying to visualize how I want things to go and focus on that its just that sometimes these nasty scenarios pop up into my brain.
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#16 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 02:56 AM
 
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I'm excited and a bit nervous, but mostly I just want to stop thinking about going through labor and birth, and be doing it/ done with it. We had our 3rd childbirth class tonight and after watching yet another video, I was thinking, "okay, okay, there's only so much I can freaking know before I just have to go through it!".
But I also think, in another month or so, I might start getting scaredy...
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#17 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 08:16 AM
 
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Second child - but first vaginal birth here as well!

I am super excited! I am looking forward to it! Honestly...it is like something I sit there and day dream about!

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#18 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 10:17 AM
 
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I read everything I could for my last birth, thought everything would come out exactly as planned. But my MW's grew impatient that I was at 42 weeks and insisted on being pushed into labor. So I was in labor for days, which wasn't bad at all. What got bad was when my MW's had me start pushing as soon as I finished transition (MW's should have known better IMO that a desire to push is rather an important part of giving birth). I had no desire to push and no ability to communicate much of anything at that point so I did what they asked. I pushed and pushed and squat happened. There was still a cervical lip and then swelling. I ended up with a C/S after going through transition three times. So this time around I'm going to a birth center with the only other MW within 1.5 hours of me. DH doesn't want to try for another HB in case something happens and I would have to go back to the same hospital. I'm trying to push the fears aside that something will go wrong. Really, I have no expectations except that DH and I will make it to the birth center and I'll have access to a birth pool (best thing for my labor last time). And I've decided no more reading about birth. I talk to my baby and tell him that when he's ready he can come out and no one will try to take over the process for us.

S & J . DD 2/8/7. DS 4/25/10. Natural foods eating, sleep deprived, gardening WAH mama.
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#19 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 10:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ks3885 View Post
For those of you who are first-timers (and those not too!), what feelings do you get when you think about the labor and birth that's coming up? I'm super EXCITED but also quite nervous, almost like before going on a rollercoaster, or before a big performance. Butterflies-in-your-stomach feelings. I'm also an L&D nurse and student nurse-midwife, so I imagine all different scenarios and am affected as well by things I see happen to my patients, who then surface in my dreams for weeks if the case/birth is particularly disturbing or otherwise sticks in my brain...

I've had lots of dreams about the birth, where I reach down and pull the baby up after the head is born. I also had two dreams about C-sections, but so far those have been in the minority, which as a homebirth-planner is A-okay with me!
I think being an L & D nurse you have a lot to "forget" before going into your own birth. That should be your job in the next few weeks! I think it can be very difficult to separate your L & D experiences from your own, especially when you've never given birth before.

I can say now that I feel like I'm an "experienced" doula I probably have the most nervousness about this birth than any other. This is my fourth baby and I have given birth naturally each time so what should the big deal be, right? But I think I also have the job of letting go of what I've seen in the last few years in order to continue with my own experience.

Try some meditation if you are up for it and maybe look into a birth professional in the area that does some guided imagery or repatterning. I'll be right there with ya!

I think for me this time it will be a homebirth instead of a hospital birth. And while that is SO DARN EXCITING.....I also feel pressure to "perform". Birth professionals that I know will be there! And in the past I always felt like the warrior of the hospital scene since they see so few natural births.

But now I'm giving birth with a group of women that see natural birth every day and I feel like I need to do it super well since I'm a doula! I'm sure they would tell me that is silly and they see all sorts of stuff. So I know it is mostly in my own head but yet it is still there.

I've also had three healthy babies that never needed "intervention" so I'm hoping my time has not come for one who does. Don't feel like having a hospital transfer birth...

I also haven't had time to imagine this little boy that much during this pregnancy. I'm tired, worn out, and just feel like I need to give birth before I have a nervous breakdown some days. So I feel bad for not having all the feelings of super excitement I've had in the past.

Other than all my worries I am so hopeful and excited about this birth being magical in a way. My mother will be in town at my home. My kids will be present for their sibling being born. My husband will be by my side (and hoepfully relaxed...haha) and I will be surrounded by one or maybe even two midwives I trust and value.....let's do it!

Mother to FOUR BOYS!!  Austin (1997) Luke (2005) Mason (2007) and Judah (2010), wife to Joe, doula to many, and Birthing From Within Mentor in SE Michigan
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#20 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 10:42 AM
 
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This is my second birth, and I'm really looking forward to it. DD's birth was challenging, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. I really only have two concerns:

1. Finding care for DD (all our friends/family are 7-8 hours away, so I just hope I have enough time for someone to make up here before I need to head to the birth center)

2. Dh and I have had a lot of issues in the past few months-- it's just been a really weird time in our life generally and our marriage especially. We have mostly (but not completely) dealt with it all, but I'm still afraid that I'll have some sort of psychological block in labor (I'm just reading through Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and her chapter on the body/mind connection really got me thinking about this). What we really need is a weekend away just to reconnect before the birth, but I don't think that's going to happen.

So anyway, I'm hoping that the birth is cathartic enough in itself, and I'm looking forward to meeting the baby!

Aspiring to 1 Thessalonians 4:11.Wife to Dh, 2004. Mother to DD 3/07.
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#21 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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really looking forward to the experience, and sharing it with my husband, and meeting our baby!

not afraid at all, feeling confident and ready.

all these positive feelings - go mammas!

me+him for 15 yrs, welcomed our little one march 25th, 2010.

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#22 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 02:40 PM
 
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I feel resigned to it. Not thrilled, but not dreading it. It's sort of like a 15 hour flight to New Zealand. I really, really want to get to where we're going, but I know it won't be entirely comfortable, and there will be times when i just want to BE THERE already. I'm packing snacks and distractions for the way, and am thankful that I will have good company, but my focus is really on the destination.

It's actually a bit disappointing to me that I am feeling so blasé about it, since I was so thrilled for my girls' births. Maybe it will kick in soon.

Ivory, partner to Tom, mama to Ella (12/9/05), Alice (12/8/07), and our newest addition, Rebecca (4/1/10).
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#23 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 04:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley View Post
Second child - but first vaginal birth here as well!

I am super excited! I am looking forward to it! Honestly...it is like something I sit there and day dream about!
ITU

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DD (4.25.08)  DD (4.23.10)  DD (10.13.12)

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#24 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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Really excited here too! No fear at all (or at least none that I'm aware of). My anxiety stems mostly from thinking about life with new baby, and thinking how this new LO is going to fit into our lives. Labor, on the other hand, it's kind of like I'm getting a second chance at an exam. I'm so happy that I am. I hope to be more relaxed and zen this time, with relaxing music playing in the background lol My first labor was good and natural, but very intense and painful back labor. I really hope there won't be any back labor this time because then it seems like it'll be so much easier. I will only start pushing when I REALLY feel ready. I also want to get to the hospital a little earlier this time because the 40 minute ride to the hospital wasn't fun and waiting to get situated and set up wasn't fun either with strong contractions going on already.

I'm really optimistic and I do believe this labor is going to be much easier I had a lot more issues to work through last time and I think the less emotional baggage you have, the easier things are going to go.

Lena , wife to best friend Joe , mommy to my two sweetie pies, DS1 born 7.7.07 and DS2 just arrived 4.17.10
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#25 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 06:04 PM
 
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MPP, I have the same issues going on too. Lots of stress at our house and in our relationship so I'm nervous about how the birth and afterwards is going to go.

Our rainbow baby, Anna Beatrice was born April 11/2010 after 4 m/c. She joins 4 brothers and sisters.
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#26 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 06:10 PM
 
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I'm really looking forward to the birth. I remember what it felt like last time, and while I think I got off really easy, I'm hoping it will be similar this time. I'm just done being pregnant.. not 'cause I'm sore or uncomfortable, but I just want to give birth and meet my baby. I loved birthing my three children, and can't wait to do it again.

The only thing I'm nervous about is that with Fiona, it was (unintentionally) unassisted, and now whenever my midwife talks about how she'll be monitoring us and everything, I can't help thinking that I really hope she doesn't make it in time, either. I mean, I would like her to be around in case something goes wrong, but I wish she could be in the other room. We hired a midwife when I first got pregnant who was really as hands off as can be, and would have stayed in the other room if we wanted, but life intervened and we had to find another midwife. I really like our midwife, but I don't think she'll be as hands off as I want.

-Rachel
Mommy to Colwyn, 10/03 ~ Lachlann, 8/05 ~ Fiona, 6/08 ~ Niall, 5/10
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#27 of 27 Old 02-23-2010, 06:56 PM
 
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I'm really looking forward to the birth. I remember what it felt like last time, and while I think I got off really easy, I'm hoping it will be similar this time. I'm just done being pregnant.. not 'cause I'm sore or uncomfortable, but I just want to give birth and meet my baby. I loved birthing my three children, and can't wait to do it again.

The only thing I'm nervous about is that with Fiona, it was (unintentionally) unassisted, and now whenever my midwife talks about how she'll be monitoring us and everything, I can't help thinking that I really hope she doesn't make it in time, either. I mean, I would like her to be around in case something goes wrong, but I wish she could be in the other room. We hired a midwife when I first got pregnant who was really as hands off as can be, and would have stayed in the other room if we wanted, but life intervened and we had to find another midwife. I really like our midwife, but I don't think she'll be as hands off as I want.
Tell her to wait in the other room! I mentioned to my mw I was having dreams about unassisted birth. And she told me if I really wanted that she wouldn't mind knitting in her car outside - to just let her know. If that is what you want could you just tell her?

Mother to FOUR BOYS!!  Austin (1997) Luke (2005) Mason (2007) and Judah (2010), wife to Joe, doula to many, and Birthing From Within Mentor in SE Michigan
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