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Postpartum Mama chat thread

6K views 158 replies 32 participants last post by  jenfl 
#1 ·
I figured there are enough of us now for us to have a postpartum thread! How are you all doing and adjusting?


Adam will be 5 weeks old tomorrow, things are going great! I am really ready to get back into my diet/workout routine, and I said I was going to wait 6 weeks, but I think I will start tomorrow.

In other news- my stitches from birth have not dissolved yet and i am getting pretty annoyed. Has this happened to anyone? I was not even planning on GOING to my 6 week appointment, but now I am thinking I have to. Bleeding is completely gone, but the yellow/orange lochia is still here.. so different from all my other births.. i was DONE after 2-3 weeks total.

I am loving having a son. My girls just think the world of him. He has brought so much joy to our family. One thing I am wondering about though, and maybe seasoned boy moms can chime in, but WHY in the world do people care so much about the state of his penis? Why is it anyones business that he is not circumcised? geez.

Still painfully engorged, the joy of an oversupply. I wish there was something I could do about it. Especially when I leak through pad, bra & shirt.. usually in public. He is such a good nurser, but still has to pull off as soon as he latches on, because it is just too forceful. My daughters get a kick out of watching me spray across the room though!
 
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#27 ·
Rhi - how long is she nursing? I had to wake Holden in the middle of feeds multiple times the first few days because he would pass out at the breast after a few minutes. I felt bad about it, but it was what the lactation consultant recommended until he got past that sleepy stage.
 
#28 ·
Rhi,
Valen nursed constantly-- I mean, he probably stopped for a few hours TOTAL in the 36 hrs it took for my milk to come in. The good thing is that the more they nurse, the sooner it comes in (in my understanding)-- but I know it can be tough. Even now that my milk has come in, though, V wants to be either nursing or held 95% of the time. I am really, really loving the hotsling for this.
 
#29 ·
So happy to join you all! I finally feel like i have time to be on the computer...Jacks doing great, but really wants to be on my boob (whether he's sucking or not) at all times. He does let DH hold him a lot, though w/o crying and he has been able to take the rest of the wk off, thank goodness. I don't know what i'd do w/o him here!
My problem is me-cramps suck (but getting much better w/arnica), and pretty sure my tailbone and/or somewhere in my back is bruised. I had baaaaad back labor. The worst is the stitches...OUCH! I can barely move, i use the boppy to sit on instead of nurse! My MW just prescribed estrogen cream to rub into them (ouch again!) saying they are prob pulling but need to stay in of course. She also presribed antibiotics bc i can smell a foul odor when using bathroom and she thinks its bacterial vaginosus maybe. She also prescribed diflocan to prevent yeast iinfection. She says it's up to me if i wanna take them or not but says uterine infections are baaaad. What do you all think? I don't know what side effects might be for jack...opinions/experiences needed!
 
#30 ·
Rhi - how is she burping? I was always surprised how tough it was to burp a baby, and noticed that 'experienced' moms tended to whack their baby's backs harder than i was. I'm still not great at it, but try different burping positions and cupping your hand. Once your milk comes in she may be a lot more content.

Also, remember that her guts are just now coming "on line" with your colostrum, which works as a laxative and gets everything moving, so it will be ready for your milk. it HAS to be uncomfortable to feel your guts work for the first time, so know that this is probably why she is cranky, not because you are doing anythign wrong.

Rub lanolin on your nipples after every single feeding (I keep my tube in my pocket), and use soft cotton breast pads (or cut up a old shirt and put a cotton layer in between you and the disposable ones if you only have those. the cotton is less irritating, and doesn't stick to my sore nipples as much as the disposable ones. hot showers/washclothes will also soothe sore nipples, as will an ice pack. once your milk comes in, you may have a few more days of jaw clenching pain when she latches on, but it will fade after a few seconds, and then after a few days they will heal. If it is still painful after a few days, call LLL, day or night.

Homeopathic chamomilla has worked wonders for us with Becky's fussiness, so send your DH out for some this morning. Just one little pellet, and wait a half hour or so.
 
#31 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by rhiOrion View Post
Well, I guess I can be here now!

Lorelei is beautiful, of course. But she is crying SO much, and I just don't know what to do. The only way to get her to stop is to nurse, but after hours straight, i'm just soooo sore. And now it's 3 am and she just started crying again after finally calming down against my chest. but I can't lay her down in the snuggle nest without her screaming. and even just holding her to my chest only works for a few minutes.

is she just not getting enough colostrum? she just constantly does the lip smacking thing like she's hungry, and she latches on and sucks some, and then falls asleep.

DH can get her to calm for a few minutes by snuggling with her. but he needs sleep too, and he can't get her calm for as long because he doesn't have the boobs.

argh. any advice?

sorry this is disjointed, i'm EXHAUSTED.
Naomi nursed me raw the first two days before my milk came in. The only relief I got was letting her suck on my pinky, but that only worked sometimes.

She's very calm and happy now, though. Especially when I use the swaddling blanket. A regular blanket that comes undone doesn't keep her happy for as long as the ones I have with fasteners that keep baby tightly wrapped in a baby burrito.
 
#32 ·
thanks you guys.

the home-visit nurse said she thinks my milk will come in tomorrow sometime, and that hopefully things will get a tiny bit less intense at that point. She was satisfied with the amount of weight L has lost, though. She hasn't had many diapers, which concerned us, but the nurse wasn't concerned since she hasn't had any milk yet.

Part of my issue is that we still haven't figured out exactly where to put her to sleep, yet! We have a snuggle nest but she screams when she's set down. I feel uncomfortable holding her and sleeping, especially since I'm SOOOOOOOOO exhausted. Our bed is too soft for her to sleep on. We're going to sidecar the crib tonight or tomorrow, but I think it's going to be the same issue of her not wanting to sleep flat. Maybe we can raise the end up a little, but I'm not sure it'll help.

Right now she's sleeping all frogged up on my chest, and letting me actually type while holding her for the first time.

I feel like this would be a lot easier if I didn't have to do it on no sleep.
 
#33 ·
So we've hit a bit of a bump in the road. We were hoping to go home this morning which my OB and Elise's ped had okayed, but then last night they started to suspect some jaundice. They tested her levels with the flashy light thing and it was high, so they did a blood draw to check it officially. It was 11.1, which for her age (under 24 hours) was too high.

Her pediatrician called and said that check her levels in the morning and if they weren't too high we could take a phototherapy blanket home and do the phototherapy there to facilitate nursing (she's hugely supportive of breastfeeding). Around the same time they did the direct Coomb's test, which came back positive. That means that we are dealing with ABO incompatibility jaundice.

This morning it was 14.1, which meant no discharge for us. Instead, she has had to spend the day under the lights, only coming out ever 2.5 hours to nurse. Her level at 5:00 tonight was up to 15.9, so not going down yet.

She's gotta be under the lights all night, again, coming out only to nurse. They will check her levels again at 5:00 this morning.

I'm pretty bummed...I was so looking forward to going home and having both my kids together under the same roof, and now the best of being at the hospital -- being able to just sit here and snuggle her -- is gone. The 45 minutes she spends nursing fly by.

Obviously we need to get this under control though...I just miss her.
 
#34 ·
Rhi, that first week was HARD. Astrid wanted to nurse all the time but seemed frustrated by my lack of milk and pulled on and off the boob so much that my nipples were bleeding and I was crying right along with her. She was crying inconsolably, especially at night, and I didn't sleep at all. But when my milk came in, it was like magic. She was content and the lubrication of the milk (and lack of chewing and spitting out my nipples in frustration) helped immensely! And flushing out the rest of that colostrum must be a relief... It's so sticky on the outside, I can only imagine how it feels on the inside. I don't have any great advise but I can say it will get 10000x better over the next week!
Do you have a breat pump? I wonder if pumping between feedings might encourage your milk to come in faster and give you something to supplement with when your boobies need a break? Not sure if that would work... But they had me pump and supplement with bm between feedings when we got sent back to the hospital when astrid lost too much weight and got jaundice. It was the same day my milk came in though so not sure how it would work with colostrum.
Good luck. It will get easier soon!
 
#35 ·
Rhi - Have you considered a baby hammock? I really want to try one. I have the components to make one, but they're in storage. Need to bring those out and put it together. Seems like it would be very soothing.
 
#36 ·
Rhi- one more thing we tried... We bought a foam wedge that goes between us in bed (they're cheap. Search for baby reflux wedge on amazon). We also got a "nap nanny" which is a more elaborate version of the same thing (better for independent sleeping since she can't roll off like the wedge). We put that on a low table next to our bed so it's at the same height and I can see her and reach her. She sleeps WAY better when she's not flat. Spits up less, falls asleep faster, and doesn't cry when we put her down. Our guess is she has a little bit of reflux and the incline makes her way more comfy. Nap nanny is sort of pricey for a piece of foam but we found ours on consignment for half the cost. Of course, had I known how well it was going to work for her, I would paid way more!
 
#37 ·
Rhi - My middle daughter slept in the swing and bouncy seat more than she did in bed for the first few months. I slept with her on my chest in a recliner a good portion of time as well, but that's not really recommended. I also use the boppy as a prop for them when i am nearby, but they don't recommend you let them sleep in them, since they can scoot down and get into a hard-to-breath position.

lizziebits -
I hope she gets to come home soon. i can't imagine only getting to snuggle every 2.5 hours.
 
#38 ·
Rhi -- A big "yeah that" to a swing or bouncy seat for sleeping. My son slept in one of those for months. I also sometimes slept with him on my chest. And it is sooo sooo sooo flippin hard when you are not getting enough sleep!

ivymae -- thanks...I'm ok when people are here visiting with me, but when I am by myself I get very teary. She's my baby, and she shouldn't have to be stuck in the nursery under some stupid lights. The good thing is we have so many people who have been helping to care for my son, which has allowed my DH to be here a lot, and also for my DS to visit at least daily if not twice a day. (Of course, he'll only give me about 30 seconds of snuggling before he has to leave to do something cooler).
 
#39 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by yippiehippie View Post
My MW just prescribed estrogen cream to rub into them (ouch again!) saying they are prob pulling but need to stay in of course. She also presribed antibiotics bc i can smell a foul odor when using bathroom and she thinks its bacterial vaginosus maybe. She also prescribed diflocan to prevent yeast iinfection. She says it's up to me if i wanna take them or not but says uterine infections are baaaad. What do you all think? I don't know what side effects might be for jack...opinions/experiences needed!
I would ask for an actual exam or lab work before taking antibiotics, and if you do take them, and are prone to yeast infections, then I would take the diflucan as well. In the meantime, you can up your intake of probiotics, and make sure you're getting plenty of nutrition and fluids.

Unless you're taking high-dose medications over a prolonged period of time, or doing chemo or something, just about everything that you are prescribed is okay to nurse on. If you're on antibiotics, it's possible that you both could get a yeast infection, or you could get thrush on your nipples, but if you get a bacterial vaginal infection that gets out of hand, you could end up in the hospital on IV antibiotics, and that would be worse, so keep that in mind. However, I personally would not be worried about side effects in my baby with oral antibiotic/antifungal drugs.
 
#40 ·
lizziebits --
Speaking as one who's just a week out of a 3-day NICU stay, I totally know how hard it is to be stuck in the hospital. And it's especially hard when you think you're going home, and then the plan gets changed. We nearly got kept for jaundice, too, but luckily Sprout's levels stayed just under the concerning point and he and I have the same blood type.

I don't have any advice, just commiseration. I told myself when we went in that I was in for the hardest 2-3 days of my life and I just had to survive it and make choices that I would be satisfied with when we got out, not necessarily ones that made me happy at the moment.

I'm so glad your doc is so breastfeeding supportive, but that 2.5 hour rule totally sucks!

Good luck.... you guys are in my thoughts.
 
#41 ·
got a bit more sleep last night, but it inolved her sleeping on me. I have the boppy newborn booster, and it creates a sort of wedge on the boppy. So after I fed her I laid her on her back in that wedge with her feet down by my side and she slept. not sure it's the best idea but it worked
 
#42 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by rhiOrion View Post
got a bit more sleep last night, but it inolved her sleeping on me. I have the boppy newborn booster, and it creates a sort of wedge on the boppy. So after I fed her I laid her on her back in that wedge with her feet down by my side and she slept. not sure it's the best idea but it worked
Hey, I think the best idea is the one where everyone gets enough sleep!

jenfl -- thanks for the commiseration. It's really good to hear from another mom who has come out on the other side.

AFM -- We're still here, and her level just went up again this morning. It's at 19 now. From what I'm reading on the internet, 25 is a level at which brain damage can possibly start to occur. Clearly I need to stop reading stuff!

Since it did go up again, obviously we are not going home. They also want me to start doing 10-15mL of formula after I get done nursing to help get things moving through her gut. Two days ago I would have been upset about this, but at this point its clear that she needs to start getting her levels in the opposite direction. Once my milk comes in, I'm going to pump so that she can get supplemented by my milk. Right now when I pump I get like maybe 1 mL. The idea is that the more that moves through her gut, the faster she'll start clearing out the bilirubin on her own. And of course, because she is jaundiced she is sleepy. Thank goodness she is such a fabulous little nurser -- she latches right on and nurses her 45 minutes perfectly.
 
#43 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by aylaanne View Post
I would ask for an actual exam or lab work before taking antibiotics, and if you do take them, and are prone to yeast infections, then I would take the diflucan as well. In the meantime, you can up your intake of probiotics, and make sure you're getting plenty of nutrition and fluids.

Unless you're taking high-dose medications over a prolonged period of time, or doing chemo or something, just about everything that you are prescribed is okay to nurse on. If you're on antibiotics, it's possible that you both could get a yeast infection, or you could get thrush on your nipples, but if you get a bacterial vaginal infection that gets out of hand, you could end up in the hospital on IV antibiotics, and that would be worse, so keep that in mind. However, I personally would not be worried about side effects in my baby with oral antibiotic/antifungal drugs.
Thanks, makes me feel better...I started taking the drugs and I'm also drinking a lot of kefir to help prevent yeast infections. The estrogen doesn't seem to help, i honestly don't know what it's supposed to do (i thought relieve the pain).
Anyone else have/had sutures and can tell me how long they took to stop stinging/hurting so much? I'm sick of walking like a monster


I guess my milk came in yesterday...my boobs are so hard and bigger, is that what that means? J is eating about the same-a lot! He's such a good baby, we're so blessed, I just hope it doesn't change tomorrow when dh has to go back to work (which i can't stop crying about
)

Lizziebits -
. your situation must be so hard! I'm sure the levels will go down soon!
 
#44 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ivymae View Post
Shanti - I bled forever with DD1, and it was ridiculous. Every time I would think it was done it would start again. I ended up drinking Shepard's purse tea, which really made a difference, and the bleeding stopped by 12weeks. With DD2 I got sick of the bleeding around week 6, started the tea, and it was over by 8 weeks. I will probably start the tea at 4 weeks out this time if I am still bleeding.
Did you drink a cup a day, or more frequently? Mine has been on and off (like gushing during brown during a LLL meeting, which was odd considering I'd done nothing but shower and go to the meeting that morning, and nothing the day before). And now, the blood is redder and I'm 4 weeks pp. At first I thought it was from taking a walk (a very slow walk and it felt great) but I took it very easy yesterday and had more red bleeding at the end of the day anyhow.
Nothing today, but I wouldn't be surprised if keeps going like this. I've been drinking RRL tea daily, but it's clearly not helping with this issue.
 
#45 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Realrellim View Post
Did you drink a cup a day, or more frequently? Mine has been on and off (like gushing during brown during a LLL meeting, which was odd considering I'd done nothing but shower and go to the meeting that morning, and nothing the day before). And now, the blood is redder and I'm 4 weeks pp. At first I thought it was from taking a walk (a very slow walk and it felt great) but I took it very easy yesterday and had more red bleeding at the end of the day anyhow.
Nothing today, but I wouldn't be surprised if keeps going like this. I've been drinking RRL tea daily, but it's clearly not helping with this issue.
I actually just called my midwife to ask this question, because i don't remember. I think catnip is also good for uterine bleeding? I'll let you know when she calls me back.


As for us: It turns out Becky's outie belly button is really a small hernia, probably from being so tangled up in her cord. We tried to keep the stress on the placenta side of the cord, but it apparently pulled a bit on her side as well. We're taping it down for now (putting a cotton ball on it, and then a bandaid) and it may go away on it's own, but no one is too concerned about it right now.
 
#46 ·
Liz, sorry about your extra hospital stay. We went through a very similar thing... a couple of days after leaving the hospital, Astrid's bili values were too high and we had to go back. Watching her under those lights and not being able to cuddle her was so, so hard! We nursed every 3 hrs and pumped / supplemented in between. Having my milk come in and flushing her system made a huge difference in her bili levels. I hope you are on the final stretch and you all get to go home soon!
 
#47 ·
so the baby's just over 2 weeks old, and last night dh asks what I want to do about birth control!!! seriously. I think he's just anxious to get back into the swing of things, and I kinda am too since I feel pretty good down there, but really, I'm in no position to be discussing this!!
Throughout the pregnancy dh was adament about getting the V asap, but last night he said within the same breath that he's ready to do it, or that he's thinking about a third baby, under certain circumstances. Then he was trying to compare costs of condoms vs. pills. I just kept saying um.. um..
So our consensus is we'll use condoms for now, and if ds2 turns into a wildchild like ds1, we'll do a V. If he's a good kid, we'll wait maybe 4 years, and according to dh.. get rid of the cat first, and then try.
yikes!
 
#48 ·
Hahah, DH and I were just discussing that maybe, MAYBE, we'll think about sex again somewhere around my birthday (may 19). But, then we realized that I won't have had my 6 week post partum visit quite yet, and that we are most definitely NOOOOOOT dtd again until we have some form of BC (and we hate condoms).
 
#49 ·
yay i'm here! we're into day 2. it feels so great! i'm pretty sore down there. i ended up having a cyst that got found from pushing removed it so i still have stitches....i HARDLY tore but cause they had to take that out it made it seem like i tore more than i did! guess i'll never have a birth where i DON"T get stitches...


Reeve is such a mellow one! he's not upset about dirty diapers and so far just crys for gas, burps and food...and the spitting up. i *think* he has a piece of phlem in his throat back farther where it hits the gag reflex and he can't get it out. last night he was up a lot because he kept "choking" and spitting up. the spit up wasn't a lot it was a little bit yellow, sometimes it was foamy and other times it was mucosy. i'm not quite sure what to do...

however he slept all night pretty much without feeding! he tanked up before hand feeding at 8 9 10 and 11 then didn't eat again till 9 a.m. this morn!

also his hands and feet are REALLY dry...what should i use? the creases in his feet are "cracked" and have some blood on them so i really need to do something. not sure if regular lotion is ok or what.
 
#50 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver's Mama View Post
So our consensus is we'll use condoms for now, and if ds2 turns into a wildchild like ds1, we'll do a V. If he's a good kid, we'll wait maybe 4 years, and according to dh.. get rid of the cat first, and then try.
yikes!
2 weeks is not unreasonable for thinking about BC, but if you're not ready, you're not ready. And making decisions now doesn't mean you can't change them in the future.

We used condoms and abstinence before (seriously) and we'll use condoms again, because I had a really bad experience with hormones that I don't want to repeat, and also because I'm in the prime of my fertility and I don't mind so much if we have an "accident" baby. I'm hoping that our abstinence issues fix themselves, because I'd love to have sex more often, but we're a ways from exploring that. And my butt needs to heal more. Ouch.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dhinderliter View Post
yay i'm here! we're into day 2. it feels so great! i'm pretty sore down there. i ended up having a cyst that got found from pushing removed it so i still have stitches....i HARDLY tore but cause they had to take that out it made it seem like i tore more than i did! guess i'll never have a birth where i DON"T get stitches...


Reeve is such a mellow one! he's not upset about dirty diapers and so far just crys for gas, burps and food...and the spitting up. i *think* he has a piece of phlem in his throat back farther where it hits the gag reflex and he can't get it out. last night he was up a lot because he kept "choking" and spitting up. the spit up wasn't a lot it was a little bit yellow, sometimes it was foamy and other times it was mucosy. i'm not quite sure what to do...

however he slept all night pretty much without feeding! he tanked up before hand feeding at 8 9 10 and 11 then didn't eat again till 9 a.m. this morn!

also his hands and feet are REALLY dry...what should i use? the creases in his feet are "cracked" and have some blood on them so i really need to do something. not sure if regular lotion is ok or what.
I wouldn't worry too much about the spitting up, his airway will probably resolve itself, and it's yellow because of your colostrum (though DD's first bright yellow spit up freaked me out, so I know where you're coming from). His feet sound a little yeasty, honestly, so I would call the pedi before you do anything. If it's not yeast, then a little lanolin (like for your nipples) would be fine.

AFM: I'm on day three and starting to get into the swing of things. It's so weird going from nursing my newborn DD to my toddler DS and back again, they're so different! My milk came in last night and I'm loving the feeling of let-down and fullness again. I missed it.

I feel like my life is a collection of bullet points:
  • I'm taking a stool softener b/c pooping was making me anxious, and now I'm SO soft I decided to take my iron like a good girl.
  • DD has jaundice which is making me a little worried, and she's not pooping as much as I would like. I'm hoping as my milk comes in it will be better today, but she's very sleepy.
  • I still have schoolwork, so trying to do that with a toddler and a newborn is interesting. I'm grateful that DH is home full-time.
  • I'm taking way more pills now than ever before in my life. I take my vitamin, and some fish oil, and a probiotic, and the stool softener, and iron, and sometimes motrin for my afterpains...It's crazy.
  • My biggest challenge is getting enough food, however. I have to remind myself to eat because lounging around doesn't make me hungry.
Now my dryer buzzed, I have to nurse my daughter, and my belly is gurgling. Yay!
 
#51 ·
Oh boy you crazy people are talking about sex. It's so not even on my radar! We'll use NFP though, so we don't have to worry about figuring out what birth control we want. My DH said to me literally 5 minutes after I pushed Elise out: "I can't wait for our next one!". Whoa there buddy! We will probably aim for a bit closer spacing with the next one, but we aimed for that last time and didn't get it so who knows.

shantiani -- it sounds just like what we are dealing with. it's good to hear someone who has come out on the other side

aylaanne -- I am also feeling the stool softener love!

dhinderliter -- How about some A&D ointment? My ped always said that was ok to use on tiny baby skin

As for us, we're still at the hospital, and we're here for another night. Her levels peaked at 19, then went down to 18, and then down to 16. The plan is once her levels are down to 13, we'll take her off all but the blanket for 6 hours and retest her levels. If they are ok, we get to go home. So, prayers if you got them for a level of 13 or less at her blood draw tomorrow morning. The great news is my milk has finally come in, and so she is pretty much on 100% breastmilk. I pump after I feed her and then offer her that at her next feeding. She's also finally peeing and pooping really well. Last night my DS said to my DH as they were leaving after visting us: "I miss my mommy and my Leesy. I just want them to come home." Us too buddy!
 
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