Join Date: Jan 2008
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Lisa, don't second guess yourself. Those signs (higher heart rate, strong contractions, tenderness over placental attachment site) *are* concerning. Just because a serious abruption hadn't happened yet doesn't mean it wasn't in the making, and that your body didn't know what it was doing to keep you and your daughter safe. You made a good call here. And don't feel guilty about not having put on the "right" appearance for your older daughters!
Logically knowing that an intervention free birth in the hospital is still a good outcome is far from being emotionally ok with it, and I'd feel the same way. You've still got a lot of hormonal changes going on too, and that's difficult to cope with without having something like transfer for warning signs of abruption.
Be gentle with yourself, Mom. And enjoy that baby girly!!!
me+him for 15 yrs, welcomed our little one march 25th, 2010.
Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.
Congratulations, mama! Gosh I hope this doesn't come out wrong but wow! You are so lucky! Everyone left you alone, no interventions and you got the placenta and left ASAP...that is so so fortunate. I have people in my local area who were forced into c-sections, who had the baby vaccinated and formula fed despite numerous non-consent forms and arguing, who were stitched up on purpose w/o pain relief, etc.
I planned an UC w/ DD and it ended up being a MW HB. And I've had to process the same contradictory feelings. On the one hand, as I emphasized above, wow! I went against a lot of odds. My DD was very malpositioned, macrosomic and I had a very long labor with pelvic issues from sports injuries. And other than tearing, she and I were fine and had a peaceful birth. But still...still...I had my heart set on a husband/wife birth and I feel forever "in two worlds" because my birth story is not my birth desire. I find myself in UC groups trying to explain that I want to be there while at the same time, yes, I had a MW help us.
One thing to remember is that this is not uncommon at all. You will find a welcome community, online and IRL. Women everywhere have had experiences they didn't want or didn't expect. I know for my county alone in one year, there were 45 home births and 190 transfers. So mamas are out there trying to process this and sort through it and still show their passion for home birth.
And I think if you want to turn it into a positive aspect when advocating for homebirth, you can do that by pointing out that a homebirth is not an end all be all. You are in charge. You are tuned in to your body and you baby's body and it's a simple car ride to take advantage of allopathic care. Lots of people I meet seem to think that if you choose homebirth, you're up a creek without a paddle. It's weird but they never ever put together the concept that you can just get in your car and drive to a hospital. Having that experience might help others.
Best of luck in processing your birth and go enjoy your babymoon!
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